Thursday, March 17, 2016

New Ink Pitt--St. Patty's Day Sinner

New Ink Pitt--St. Patty's Day Sinner

Lenny the Leprechaun moved away from the St. Patrick’s Day revelry on the street, turning the corner and entering a dark alleyway.  His motivation was the irresistible aroma that came from within.  It was not the scent of beer, but another scent that drove him wild!  Lenny smelled the delightful smell of a woman!

Lenny marched onward, knowing that somewhere in the alley, he’d find the woman of his dreams!  His stubby legs carried his 4’ 3” frame quickly yet quietly through the darkness.  Though he desired this woman greatly, he didn’t want to risk any chance of scaring her away!  He would ease up to her, and take great caution before rushing her with his intense passion!  Lenny actually stopped for a moment to ponder this.  When did he, the lecherous leprechaun, approach any woman that desired him with caution?  He thought he must really be losing his touch, or maybe he was falling in love?  A sniff of the air again made him forget that as it revealed that this woman, whoever she was, was ready for him!  Lenny grinned with desire and licked his lips in anticipation and took off with thundering stomps towards his lustful lady!

“Don’t ye worry, Lass!  Lenny will find ye and give ye what yer needin’ hehe!”  Lenny came upon some trash cans that smelled like flowers.  It smelled similar to his woman, but it sure wasn't her!

“What the green hell?!?  Ye aren’t what me nose smelt!  And ye are certainly not the receptacle I be lookin’ fer!”  With that, Lenny proceeded to raise green hell all over the cans!

“Get out of me way ye gowl,” Lenny yelled as he punched one can.  He gritted his teeth an kicked another over!  He then attacked all the trash cans at once, punching and kicking them with his short arms until the whole alley was littered with trash!

"That'll teach ye not ta keep Lenny from his female!"  He stomped onwards at a quicker pace.  His delay made him more eager to get to his woman!

"Ta hell with caution!  I will be takin' ye by surprise now, Lass!"  Suddenly, he ran into something soft and smooth, and looked up to see the long legs of a naked woman!  Lenny sniffed and knew it was his woman!  His eyes traced her legs upwards to see her curvaceous thighs which met in the middle where he saw her female delight!  Farther up, he saw her flat stomach, and just above, the rounded mounds that were her breasts projected outwards, topped with pointy nipples!  When her red hair began flowing downwards, he knew the identity of this woman of his dreams!  It was none other than Rachel Smith herself!  No doubt the Mormon Mommy would look down a moment later, revealing her beautiful face to the love-stricken leprechaun.

"Rachel, me love!  Yer body is so beautiful!  Smile down on me with yer lovely face!"

The head then appeared, revealing RUFUS, her retarded son!"

"Ah Wenny!  You so nice!"

Lenny screamed and tried to escape the alleyway, as Rufus, with a female body, followed!
"Where you goin' Wenny?  Wenny? Wenny?"

Lenny awakened on the lap of Rachel.  They were still in her minivan after their lovemaking session.  It had all been a bad dream.  He could still hear Rufus calling his name, and looked up to see the "special son" of Rachel, with his face pressed to the passenger side window of the minivan!

"Wenny what you do in there with mah Mommy?!?


NEXT:  MECHANICAL MAYHEM  
WEDNESDAY APRIL 6, 2016

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Shit Pitt--Storage of the Sweater

Shit Pitt--The Sweater Story 2 of 6:  Storage of the Sweater


Monica opened up the door of her trailer and walked inside.  Mr. Clementine followed, still wearing his now suspect blue sweater.  On the walk back to the trailer, he'd entertained thoughts of the sweater somehow coming to life and truly causing Peyton's predicament.  He was no stranger to make-believe, having been the star of a children's
TV show on Public Access, but a living sweater seemed ridiculous!  Now, he quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind as Monica pulled off her native outfit!

"Oh--Monica!"  Clementine shielded his eyes, afraid, yet a bit excited that he might see her Tutuilan tush as she leaned forward to slide down her dress!

With her butt still facing Clementine, Monica looked back.  "What?"  She smiled.  "It's okay!  I've got something underneath!"

Clementine peeked through his fingers to see that Monica had on athletic spandex shorts with a matching top.  Though she wasn't naked, the tightness of the clothing didn't leave much to the imagination!  Monica's curves sure weren't make-believe!

"Relax Percy!  You act like you've never seen a girl in in workout clothes!  Did you think that because of my costume and heritage, that I'd be naked underneath?!?"

"Um--well--I..." Clementine stammered.

"Haha!  I might be a native, but running around without a bra or panties all the time is really not that comfortable!  Not sure how my ancestors did it!"

Clementine smiled and looked into Monica's eyes.  "Hmm.  That's not to say I don't ever take them off!  If the mood is right, I could be tempted hehe!"  The flirty fire of her smile grew and then extinguished as a new thought occurred to her.

"Oh my gosh, Percy!  You look great in that sweater, but you really ought to take it off now.  It's much too hot and I don't think we can convince Jeffrey to let you wear it for your character at this point."

"Yes, you're right, Monica."  Clementine mentally kicked himself for not embracing Monica after her latest flirtation.  She was very attractive, and he was getting along with her very well, but it was just too soon and it might jeopardize their working relationship.
"I also don't want Peyton getting his hands on it again!"  He removed it and gave it to Monica.  "Do you have a place you could hang it inside?"

"Sure do.  Will put it in my closet if that's okay."  She smiled lovingly.  "It'll be...safe there, and you can get it whenever you want."  Their eyes locked for a few moments before Monica carried the sweater into her room and hung it in her closet.  The two then left to return to the set of Child Castaways.  Moments after their departure, Mr. Clementine's sweater began swinging around like a pendulum on its hanger, and after an intense struggle, went flying off and plopped on the floor!

NEXT:  ST. PATTY'S DAY SINNER
THURSDAY MARCH 17, 2016

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


Also available for purchase: the Peeper #8 for only 99 cents!
Latest issue of the comedy newsletter from October 2015!
This issue includes Mr. Peepers' participation in a Zombie Walk
and Billy G's first Costume Contest!  Plus, a bonus article about 
new comic book convention, SODA CITY COMIC CON!












Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--Electrical Encirclement

Peepers' Pitt--A MAZE ing Adventure pt. 2 of 6:  Electrical Encirclement

The low humming sound grew stronger as Mr. Peepers made his way further down the length of the mechanical maze.  Peepers scanned the area with his new red glasses, which proved useless.  They were just a normal pair of shades without the charger to activate them.  Peepers' old glasses were able to do all sorts of things, without a charger.  They could see through walls and project offensive strobes of light!  In fact, they were so amazing, it could be said that those glasses are what made Mr. Peepers who and what he is!  It was uncertain what Peepers was at this point though.  After being stripped of his godlike abilities and given a new outfit, Mr. Peepers himself was unsure of what he was still capable of.  Perhaps he would have to rely on other talents to help him reach his goal.

ZZZAZZZAXXX!  A spark of electricity shot up from nowhere and filled the area in front of Mr. Peepers!  The energy encircled the rounded space of the mechanical maze's height and width, creating an electrical fence!  It surged a few times before settling into the shape of fence of pure visible electrical energy!  It blocked Peepers' passage.

"Peepers not like!  Electricity not to be trusted!  Who  know what it doing in walls?  Now it try and block Peepers!"

Peepers stood staring at the energy for a few moments, looking helpless.  Then, a smile formed across his face as he flicked his tongue out of his mouth.  Though all his peeping gadgets were not available to him, he realized he had other skills!  Long before his peeping skills were put to the test, Peepers was a great tinkerer--not unlike the Mad Tinkerer himself!  Peepers went over to the metal wall of the mechanical maze and began to feel its surface with his hands.  Among the odd projections of the wall he found a panel that he was able to work lose.  In doing so, he exposed some wiring.  A snip of the proper wires brought a quick end to the electrical fence as it fizzled out from loss of power.  It also knocked out a few of the flourescent lights that lit the maze.  Peepers smiled and then frowned, regretting that he had no night vision like that of his original glasses.  It was still somewhat lit in the maze though, so he continued on.


NEXT:  SWEATER'S SEIZE 
WEDNESDAY MARCH 16, 2016

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Also available for purchase: the Peeper #8 for only 99 cents!
Latest issue of the comedy newsletter from October 2015!
This issue includes Mr. Peepers' participation in a Zombie Walk
and Billy G's first Costume Contest!  Plus, a bonus article about 
new comic book convention, SODA CITY COMIC CON!



















Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Shit Pitt--Peyton's Story

Shit Pitt--The Sweater Story 1 of 6:  Peyton's Story

"I WANT ICE CREAM...NOW!!!!" Peyton shouted to the top of his lungs the moment he was set safely on the ground.  The "problem child" of the Child Castaways production was pitching a fit after getting stuck in a tree, and demanded the director make up for it with ice cream.

"Calm down, Peyton!!  There's not going to be any ice cream!  You're an actor and you've got a job to do!"  Jeffrey the director yelled.  "What were you doing up there and why do you have on Clementine's sweater?!?"

"I WANT MY ICE CREAM GIVEIT NOW!!"  Peyton then kicked Jeffrey in the leg and stripped off Mr. Clementine's sweater.  Monica and Mr. Clementine walked over to him.  Monica stared sternly at him.

"Peyton, what were you doing with Mr. Clementine's sweater and how did get you stuck in a tree?"  Monica put her hands on her hips and waited for a response.

"I-I didn't do it!  I took the sweater but didn't get myself stuck up there!!  Th-the sweater did it! Honest!" Peyton began to cry.

Clementine spoke up.  "Now  Peyton, it's ok to admit the truth.  We all know sweaters don't do things on their own, and especially not the one I've worn for years!"

"But--but it's truuuue!  I felt a yank and then I was up in the tree!!  The sweater did it!  I don't know how but it did!"

Jeffrey hobbled over.  "All right everybody take 30!"  He then pointed a long judgmental finger at Peyton.  "And you get ready!  You've already given us enough trouble during this production!  One more screw up and you're done!"  He then hobbled off, leaving Clementine and Monica alone with Peyton.

Peyton looked up at them with tears in his eyes.  "No one believes me!  I know I'm bad a lot but I'm not making this one up!"

Monica sighed.  "Peyton how you got in the tree doesn't matter. What does matter is that you stole Mr. Clementine's sweater and you owe him an apology!"

Peyton stopped crying for a moment to show a disgusted frown.  Monica gave him a harsh look.  "Oh all right!  I'm sorry I took Mr. Clementine's old man sweater!"  He then turned to run off to his trailer.

"PEYTON!"  Monica began to correct him for his half-hearted apology, but Clementine stopped her.  He placed a hand on her strong arm and shook his head.  "It's okay, Monica.  Let the boy go.  He's obviously upset."
Monica turned and looked at Clementine.  The look of anger melted from her face as she stared into his eyes.  It was that same look she'd given him back in her trailer the night before.  She was at a loss for words for a moment.  She smiled and looked away as she regained her composure.

"Maybe he just needs...some space," Monica said as she continued smiling.  "Do you really think he's telling the truth?  How could he have gotten into the tree and hung himself up like that?"

Clementine smiled.  "Oh I don't know.  He's a cantankerous boy.  Climbing a tree isn't too hard.  He may have accidentally gotten caught up there and is too embarrassed to admit it."

"You're right."  Monica realized.  "Knowing Peyton though, It could also be possible that he found a way to hang himself up there just to get attention!"  Monica looked at Clementine again.  He had been wearing a plain white t-shirt in the absence of his sweater.  Monica went over and picked up his sweater from the ground, dusted it off and gave it to him.

"Here.  You look somewhat naked without it.  Ha!"  Monica giggled as Clementine slipped the sweater over his head.  They then walked off together towards her trailer.  Unseen by either of them, a small section on the back of Clementine’s sweater glowed red with energy.


NEXT:  ELECTRIC ENCIRCLEMENT
WEDNESDAY MARCH 9, 2016

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


Also available for purchase: the Peeper #8 for only 99 cents!
Latest issue of the comedy newsletter from October 2015!
This issue includes Mr. Peepers' participation in a Zombie Walk
and Billy G's first Costume Contest!  Plus, a bonus article about 
new comic book convention, SODA CITY COMIC CON!