Rufus is a BIG BABY!
Stroller photo by Salvatore Vuono from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/
Rufus photo by Joshua Dyson
New Ink Pitt--Sterealizations pt. 5 of 5: “Test Results”
Lenny sat in the waiting room of the clinic. He had returned to get the results of his test. He was about to discover whether or not he was sterile! He sat there, running the possiblities through his head. If his “noots” were still full of baby-making power, then everything would be fine! He would also know that Rachel was lying about not being pregnant by him! However, if he was indeed sterile, Lenny didn’t know what he was going to do! His intense Irish pride would be hurt, and he wasn’t quite sure how it would affect his relations with women. Lenny feels that women want a man who is virile and full of sexual power. Subconsciously, he was actually using the ability to create offspring to compensate for his short stature!
A potential argument was momentarily avoided as a nurse called Lenny up to the desk. Lenny’s test results were given to him. He smiled. “Well, lass, I’m not the only one who has got some explainin’ to do! I know now that I’m not sterile, and that means…YE ARE LYING ABOUT NOT BEIN’ WITH ME CHILD!!!”
The Pitt Report updates Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights!Rufus photo by Joshua Dyson
New Ink Pitt--Sterealizations pt. 5 of 5: “Test Results”
Lenny sat in the waiting room of the clinic. He had returned to get the results of his test. He was about to discover whether or not he was sterile! He sat there, running the possiblities through his head. If his “noots” were still full of baby-making power, then everything would be fine! He would also know that Rachel was lying about not being pregnant by him! However, if he was indeed sterile, Lenny didn’t know what he was going to do! His intense Irish pride would be hurt, and he wasn’t quite sure how it would affect his relations with women. Lenny feels that women want a man who is virile and full of sexual power. Subconsciously, he was actually using the ability to create offspring to compensate for his short stature!
Lenny’s thoughts were interrupted as Rachel, along with her retarded son, Rufus, burst through the door of the waiting room! Rachel was screaming for someone to help and Rufus was bawling like crazy! Lenny was used to the way Rufus threw tantrums in order to get his “mommee’s” sympathy, but there was something startingly different about this one. Rufus sat, holding his groin, inside a BABY STROLLER!! Rachel was pushing her TEENAGE SON around in a BABY STROLLER!! The nurses were shocked by the sight of the oversized “baby” and didn’t know how to react! Rachel spoke first.
“Help us, please!! My son--he hurt his..his”
“MY WEEEENIE!! Rufus shouted.
Rachel agreed. “Yes, there is something wrong with his..ah..weenie! Please help him! We need to see a doctor, NOW!”
“Help us, please!! My son--he hurt his..his”
“MY WEEEENIE!! Rufus shouted.
Rachel agreed. “Yes, there is something wrong with his..ah..weenie! Please help him! We need to see a doctor, NOW!”
The nurses finally got Rachel calmed down, but Rufus continued to cry uncontrollably. The doctor came out to see what was the matter, and agreed to take Rufus back right away! Rufus would not get out of the stroller though, and Rachel had to wheel him into an exam room. The door shut behind them, and Lenny was left all alone once more. After a few moments, Rachel returned. The doctor had made her leave so that he could examine Rufus privately! She then saw Lenny.
“What are YOU doing here?!? Rachel demanded.
Lenny looked unfazed. “Could be askin’ ye the same question, lass!”
“Rufus got upset because I wouldn’t let him go trick or treating!” Rachel paused and her worried expression changed to anger. “Wait a minute! This is YOUR fault! Rufus was imitating you when he punched himself in the…weenie!”
“What are YOU doing here?!? Rachel demanded.
Lenny looked unfazed. “Could be askin’ ye the same question, lass!”
“Rufus got upset because I wouldn’t let him go trick or treating!” Rachel paused and her worried expression changed to anger. “Wait a minute! This is YOUR fault! Rufus was imitating you when he punched himself in the…weenie!”
A potential argument was momentarily avoided as a nurse called Lenny up to the desk. Lenny’s test results were given to him. He smiled. “Well, lass, I’m not the only one who has got some explainin’ to do! I know now that I’m not sterile, and that means…YE ARE LYING ABOUT NOT BEIN’ WITH ME CHILD!!!”
All characters, stories, and performances are (C) 2010 Joshua Dyson
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