New Ink Pitt--Small Sunday School

Lenny's Height is a Factor!

Makings of a Mormon pt. 3 of 5: “Small Sunday School”
Lenny crawled out of the seat of Rachel’s minivan. The short legs and arms of his 3’ plus frame were making it difficult. The retarded Rufus was sitting in the back, and started making fun of Lenny’s struggle.

“Hee hee hee! Lenny look silly!”

Lenny clung to the edge of the seat as he slowly made his way down. “Why don’t ye shut yer trap ye re-” Lenny was stopped mid-sentence as he saw Rachel, leaning over from her seat on the driver’s side across from him. He knew to hold his tongue and not to say Rufus was “retarded,” because Rachel would be angry with him once more. However, that thought hadn’t occurred to him yet. What had frozen Lenny’s words was the sight before him. It was partly due to how beautiful Rachel looked in her dress, but it was mostly due to the fact that, as she leaned over, that dress revealed a large portion of her bountiful breasts! Rufus could see about two-thirds of each one, which made his imagination run wild.

“Let me help you, silly!” Rachel spoke, momentarily ending Lenny’s naughty thoughts. Rachel held his little hand as he climbed down to the pavement.

“Thank ye, Rachel!” He then brushed himself off, and adjusted his wee green suit. Lenny looked around. They were in the parking lot of the Mormon church. The leprechaun put his hands on his hips and surveyed the building. The Mormon church was the strangest he ever saw. It was a bit plain, with no Virgin Mary statue or even a single cross in sight! Atop the building, in place of a cross, was a straight metal rod! Lenny wondered if Mormons were Christians at all. Upon entering the building, they were greeted by Brother Brad! Lenny’s stomach turned at the sight of the pompus “priest” who’d been trying to make time with his woman. Lenny thought to himself how, in Catholicism, “Brother” Brad would be a huge sinner for breaking his vow to God to flirt with women! Moments after entering, an older woman came up to Lenny and Rufus and told them she’d show them to their Sunday school room. Lenny didn’t want to be separated from his lady love, but Rachel insisted he go. Lenny didn’t understand why he had to go with Rufus to Sunday school. His questions would be answered as they entered a room with lots of children sitting at a small table. In that moment, it hit him. The Mormons thought that because Lenny was short, that he was a child! Lenny was offended and prepared to raise some green hell, but a comment by Rufus stopped him.

“Lenny if you be baaad, I tell mah mommee on you!”

Rufus then ran into the room and grabbed a coloring book and sat on the floor with it, as if he didn’t know what was going on. Lenny gritted his teeth in anger as he held it all in. He sat down at the little table and watched the brats go to work on their coloring books with crayons. Lenny sighed. Being a Mormon wasn’t going to be easy!

COMING IN OCTOBER: THE RESOLUTION OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF DOOM STORYLINE!

All characters, stories, and performances
are (C) 2011 Joshua Dyson

The characters and events portrayed in this work are fictious.
Any similarity between persons living or dead, are purely coincidental.