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| Humphrey with his IDIT! |
“Take it. Standing up was the first step. Taking this hammer is the second. With this tool, you can work yourself out of poverty.” Pizzazz flashed a smile that quickly faded as Humphrey began to howl in anguish.
“What’s wrong?!?” Pizzazz asked.
Humphrey stopped howling and put his hands over his ears. “NO! NO! NO! I dinnit hear dat! Not the “w” word!”
Pizzazz smirked. “You mean, WORK?”
Humphrey howled once more. “YES! Dat word!! I don like that word! Don make me do it, Johnee Pizzazz! Just lee me ‘lone man!”
Pizzazz then sat down with Humphrey in the alley, and gave him a 30-minute explanation on why work is not a bad thing, and why the hammer was a great tool to start with. He impressed Humphrey with the creativity of construction, and sparked a bit of inspiration within the hobo. After this, and the promise of some magic tricks by Pizzazz, Humphrey finally took the hammer. Pizzazz then presented him with a bag of nails--which frightened Humphrey at first due to their sharpness--and some pieces of wood to practice on. He showed the hobo how to hammer a nail, and then left him alone to build something on his own.
An hour later, Pizzazz returned to see what Humphrey had built. The hobo presented a strange construction of 3 boards nailed together.
“What is it, Humphrey?”
“It’s an IDIT!”
“A what?”
“An IDIT!”
“What’s an idit?”
“This is!” Humphrey looked frustrated.
“Oh. Well what does it do?” Pizzazz looked frustrated as well.
“Huh?”
“It has to do something in order to be useful.”
Humphrey was getting upset. “It not have to be useful! You say be creative! I be creative, and now I tired! I gon go to sleep with my idit!” He swung the attached boards around a few times to show that the construction did in fact move, just to show Pizzazz the idit did have at least one nice quality. He then lay down by his trash can again, passed gas, and then proceeded to go to sleep.
Pizzazz sighed. He’d hoped for more, but he realized that it was only Humphrey’s first experience with a hammer, wood, and nails. He decided to make Humphrey’s next lesson in carpentry a more challenging one, in order to inspire him to do better.
Nearby, invisible to Pizzazz and Humphrey was the godlike Mr. Peepers. He was somewhat fascinated because Humphrey had done something constructive. Maybe Pizzazz could turn the hobo around after all!
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12, 2014
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All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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