Peepers' Pitt--Habitat for Humphrey

Peepers’ Pitt--Stranded with Strangers pt. 9 of 12:  “Habitat for Humphrey” 

Will Humphrey build a home?

“Humphrey, you need a home!”  Johnny Pizzazz smiled down at the hobo, who was still lying in the alley next to a trash can.

“A home? This home!”  Humphrey pointed all around to show that the alley was his home.

“But Humphrey, with this hammer, you can do something magical!  You can build yourself a better home, with four walls around you!”

“Pfft.” Humphrey scoffed.  “Home’s right here!  I’sa got everything I needs! Now go ’way, Johnny Pizzazz!”

Pizzazz knew it was going to be difficult to motivate the hobo into action again, so it was time to take drastic measures!  He took out his trusty microphone and placed it near his lips.  He then tilted his head back to say these words…

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time once again for…the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic….JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!!!!”  Pizzazz then shot sparks from his wand, which caused Humphrey to stir.

“Whose you talkin’ to, man?”  Humphrey looked around from where he lay, to see if anyone else was there.

“Humphrey…Johnny Pizzazz is here…to CHANGE YOUR LIFE!  It begins with your new home!”  Pizzazz then used his wand to project an image of a huge house.  “THIS…could be YOUR house, Humphrey!  You could live here!”

Humphrey took one look and curled back up on the ground to continue his nap.  Pizzazz was frustrated, and slapped his wand on the trash can near Humphrey.  Sparks flew out and shocked Humphrey slightly!  The hobo jumped up and ran further into the alley.

“Listen here, Hobo!  You’re going to get up and build yourself a home, or Johnny Pizzazz is going to unleash all his magic against you!  Lift yourself up out of poverty, man…or else!!!”

NEXT:  BIRDY ATTACK ATTACK
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

• GET A 4-ISSUE SUBSCRIPTION TO THE PEEPER NEWSLETTER!  Featuring Mr. Peepers and company, as they visit, report on, and comically assault real locations and events!  Available in pdf format by email or in print by postal mail!  Issue #4 available now!

Newsletter Versions

E-mail Version $2.00 USD  Print Version $6.50 USD

 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental