Wednesday, August 19, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Big Ball Dilemma

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 4 of 5:  Big Ball Dilemma*
Manly Man's Big Ball Dilemma!

The door to the concrete room that held Officer Bates and Screenface slid open, letting in a proudly-prancing Man Princess!

“Hey GUYS!” Manly Man shouted as he happily bounced into the room.  “How are you doing?”  The fatigued Bates and Screenface made no attempt to answer.

“That good, huh?   Well I’m doing much better after writing in my diary!  I faced a dilemma--a really BIG dilemma!  It dealt with what to do with my dupes.  Those five faggy fakers are impersonating me in one sense, which I don’t appreciate!  On the other hand, they essentially are me and I’ve kinda grown fond of them!

“I couldn’t bring myself to kill them, but my ego wouldn’t let them just continue to run around using my name and wearing my face!  That naughty dilemma!  It was like two really big sour balls hanging right in front of my luscious lips!  No matter which one I chose, I was sure to get smacked in the face hehe!”

Manly Man held up cupped hands in the air and made squeezing motions.  “So I tested out each of those balls…in my mind of course…to see which one would be best!  I prodded, petted, and pinched them to check to see which ball would best please me!”

Bates groaned.

“What was that Mr. Bates?  Are you getting jealous again?!?  How are we ever going to be a couple if you don’t let me play with other balls? Hehe!”

“Could you spare us the ball story and get to the point?” Bates demanded.

“OH ALL RIGHT!  Mr. Bates, you are just no fun!  Now Screenie Poo over there isn’t going to get to hear the rest of my ball story!”

“The story matters not to SCREENFAACE!”

Manly Man stood with his hands on hips as he looked over at Screenface.  “See what you did, Mr. Bates?  Now Screenie Poo doesn’t want to hear it either!!”  He then sighed and shook his head.

“ANYWAY, I decided that best way to deal with my dupes is not to kill them, but let them know who’s boss!  I’m still going to hunt and shoot at them, but only to get their attention!  Once I’ve “marked” the other three,  I’ll reveal myself and tell them to line up behind the Original Man Princess or get lost!”

Manly Man paused for a moment.  “There’s just one problem.  You guys!  Can’t leave you hanging around here, even if it does please me to imagine you as two big balls hangin--”


“Oh my goodness, Mr. Bates you sure are angry!”  Manly Man giggled.  “I like that in a man though!  I know you’re upset because you’re uncomfortable hanging there, but I wanted you to know I think I’ve found a solution!  I may need more information from Screenie Poo though!  Screenie, why oh why do you have a switch in your control room labeled GAY GAS?”

*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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