Wednesday, August 26, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Gay Gas

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 5 of 5:  "Gay Gas"*

“GET AWAY FROM ME!”  Officer Bates shouted at Screenface, who was trying to give him a hug.

“Bates…I’m sorry…I’m just…so emotional!”  The Veiled Villain sobbed as he broke into tears underneath his screeny demeanor.  “I…just need someone to…CUDDLE WITH!”  Screenface leapt with arms open towards Officer Bates.  Bates backed away and into a corner of the concrete room.

“My God, Man, what is wrong with you?  You’ve become some sort of Sissyface! Urgggh and why do I have cramps in my stomach?!?”

“It’s…the gay gas…Manly Man is using it on us to make us more effeminate!”  Screenface said between sobs.

“Urgghhh that’s it!  Forgot he questioned you about that before he gave us that damn sleeping gas again!  Tell me why you have “gay” gas as a torture device?”

“It was something…sniff…I concocted after my encounter with the Manly Man in the Whitespace.  I felt having a weapon…sob…that could make my enemies effeminate and weak would guarantee victory over them!”  Screenface then paused and sat down in the other corner slowly.  “Now though…I feel so AWFUL about it!  I was going to use it on Trostelus and Gaymerica because I wanted to rule the New Ink Pitt!  I should have just called them up and chatted because we could have been great friends!”

SMACK!  “Get a hold of yourself!”  Officer Bates yelled as he smacked Screenface across his screen-covered face.  “You’re acting like a woman when you should be using your super-intellect to help me figure a way out of here!!  There must be some way to es--urrgghhh!”  Bates grabbed his stomach as he felt another spasm of pain.  The cramp was so strong that he fell to the floor!

“I’m sorry, Bates!  On a positive note, the title “gay” gas is a misnomer.  The gas will not make us gay, but it will certainly make us feel like women!”

“Urrghh too hurt to care!  Hope I don’t grow ughhh boobs!”

“If exposed…long enough…that is a possibility!”  Screenface continued to cry.

Suddenly, a panel in the door of the room slid open, revealing the face of the Manly Man!
“Hey guys…or should I say girls? Hehe!  How are you feeling?”

“Daaamn…you!” Officer Bates struggled to speak.

“Doing pretty good I see!  Oh Screenie Poo, your gay gas sure does work wonders! Now I don’t have to worry about keeping you two bound up on the wall while I’m out!  Anyway, I know you’re busy, but I wanted to make sure you took time to eat so I brought you some snacks!”  Manly Man slid in a tray with an assortment of packaged foods that included crackers, cookies, and snack cakes.  “Now don’t be upset that it’s all unhealthy, Girls!  It’s the best I could do on such short notice, so you’ll have to eat it for now!”

“Well, don’t have too much fun while I’m gone!  I’m headed out to a comedy show!  Manly Man Yellow is performing, and the little ditz put out a poster, making him really easy to find!”

*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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