New Ink Pitt--Repent for Temple Worthiness

Rufus without Chocolate!

New Ink Pitt--Lenny the Mormon pt. 4 of 5: “Repent for Temple Worthiness”
Rufus the Retard lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His eyes were wide open in astonishment. He had gone twelve hours without chocolate and now it appeared he was going through withdrawls! Whenever he felt an urge for chocolate, he grabbed his Book of Mormon, placed it on his head, and pressed down with both hands while whining!

“NO, NO, NO! I na eat no more chocowate bars because I good Mormon m-man! I-I not eat anything w-with caffeine in it no more! It bad, bad, bad!”

Now that Rufus was 19 years old, he was eligible to begin his journey into the Mormon priesthood. Doing this sucessfully, however, required Rufus to repent of all his “wicked” ways, which for Mormons, includes the intake of caffeine. The door to Rufus’ bedroom opened, and Lenny the Leprechaun walked in. Lenny was to accompany Rufus during his priesthood in order to “look out for him.” If he did not, Rachel, Rufus’ mom, had vowed to cut the leprechaun out of her life forever! Lenny could not bear this, as he loved Rachel more than life itself, and he was the father or her unborn child!

Lenny smiled at Rufus as he walked up to his bedside. He wore a mini-backpack over his small leprechaun shoulders. “Ey there, Rufus! What are ye doing, Lad?”

Rufus peeped out from under his Book of Mormon. “Go ’way Lenny! I twy wepent!”

“What do ye mean, Lad? We-pwent?”

“I twy wepent from m-mah sins so I-I be t-temple worthee!”

Lenny walked over to a chair in the corner and climbed up to sit down. He then reached into his back pack. “That be good, Lad. Then ye will nae mind if’n I sit here and have a chocolate bar!” Lenny pulled out a giant chocolate bar and started eating it! Rufus’ eyes grew big, and he sat up in his bed.

“CHOCOWATE! I wan some!”

“No, Rufus! Ye be wepenting so ye cannae have any, remember?”

Rufus gritted his teeth in frustration and lay back on his bed. He smacked the Book of Mormon into his forehead several times before whining again. Lenny smiled.

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2011 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.