Shit Pitt--Piggy Pass

The End Result of too much Gamey Cockwine!

Shit Pitt--Honeymoon Haul pt. 1 of 5: “Piggy Pass”
Spurrier rolled around on Snigger’s back, struggling to turn over onto his stomach. His drunkeness, due to Gamey Garnet Cockwine, was making it difficult! Spurrier finally managed to right himself, and was now straddling Snigger backwards! He looked up just in time to see the Rosewood Cowboy firing another bullet from his pistol! Spurrier quickly spanked Snigger’s butt, and the Ebony Equine neighed like thunder and reared up on his hind legs, nearly throwing Spurrier onto the ground! A moment later and Snigger and Spurrier were speeding through the trees of the woods!

The Rosewood Cowboy cursed. He had come to get Snigger back from Spurrier, and was determined that nothing would stop him! He began walking forward when a pig ran out of the bushes in front of him!

“SEEEYOW SEEEYOW! I’S GON CATCH YA, PIGGY! SEEYOW!”

The Cowboy looked towards the bushes to see who was making that ridiculous pig call. Former college football player, Christopher Smellypants, appeared from the bushes, wearing only his boxers and socks!

“Sir, have ya seen mah piggy?”

The Cowboy glared angrily at Smellypants. “Son, what the hell is your problem?”

Smellypants looked a little confused. “Nothing sir, just trying ta have a good time with mah piggy!”

“Are ya telling me that you were in there havin’ relations with that pig?”

Smellypants acted a little embarrassed. “Um, no sir…I was…um…I was just teaching the pig how ta m-make passes…y’know…in football…piggy passes!”

The Cowboy walked up to Smellypants. He was tall and imposing and it intimidated the ex-football player.

“Passes…in football, huh?”

“Um…yes sir!” Smellypants nearly choked on the words when he saw the angry look on the Cowboy’s face.

“A..Piggy Pass?”

“Y-yes sir! We do them all the time on the f-” The Cowboy grabbed Smellypants by the arm and pointed his pistol at him!

“Son, if ah wasn’t so concerned with gittin’ mah horse back from that damn coach of yours, ah’d tan yore hide!”

The cowboy gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes. “Y’see, ah don’t take kindly ta people mistreatin’ animals, and if ah ever catch you putting yore finger…or any other body part…onto that pig or any other animal again…ah’ll PUMP YA FULL OF LEAD! UNDERSTAND?” Smellypants shook his head nervously. The Cowboy then pushed him down onto the ground and turned to pursue Spurrier.

BRAPPP!!! The Cowboy felt something hit him in the back as he heard the sound. He turned to see Smellypants with his butt up in the air!

“Boy, did ya just bump your butt up against me and…”
Smellypants laughed. “I sure did--farted on you--whatcha gonna do about it? Stupid cowboy!”

Smellypants ran off, but could not escape the Cowboy. A gunshot rang out and Smellypants fell to the ground. He screamed and grabbed his butt. The Cowboy had put a bullet in his backside! He tipped his hat to the immature Smellypants and walked off.

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2011 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.