Thursday, December 30, 2010

Pitt Report--Fate of the Shitlings

What will be the fate of Gwala the Zombie &
his friends?

Shit Pitt--Shit War pt. 20 of 20: “Fate of the Shitlings”
The Rosewood Cowboy walked down the long hall of the rebellion’s base leading to the holding cells. He was once more in charge after being freed from inside Shithead. The Shit War was over, and now all that was left was to deal with was the apprehended Shitlings. As he reached the end of the hall, he saw them all there, in their respective cells. Carnastas, Ronnie Slickbottom, and Vinnie Hate were now joined by Gwala the Jamaican Zombie and Doctor Dyson, who Spurrier and his crew had captured before the final battle with Shithead. Since the Cowboy fought Shithead about the same time as Terrance the Pirate fought Mr. Clementine during Shitdown, he did not realize that Clementine had been recaptured by the rebellion, or that he had gone missing once more.
The Cowboy addressed the Shitlings with certainty in his voice. He told them of their master’s demise, and that now he intended to deal with the loose ends -- them! He pulled his pistol from its holster and aimed it at Gwala. He was prepared to fire but a voice stopped him. It was the Reverend Reynolds, once leader of the Shitlings, but now the man of faith he had been before he was corrupted by Shithead. Reverend Reynolds pleaded with the Cowboy to have mercy and give the Shitlings a chance to change. Reynolds finally persuaded the Cowboy and he walked off. Reynolds then said that he had come to bring good news to the Shitlings, and that he would reform them by reading to them from the Good Book!
Meanwhile, somewhere out on the ocean, Terrance the Pirate’s ship sailed. He had brought pedophile, Mr. Clementine to his ship, and sailed out so that he could administer his own brand of justice. Terrance would make Clementine walk the plank…to a watery grave! No matter how much Clementine begged, Terrance could not be swayed from his plan. He poked a sword at the bound Clementine and made him walk out, until he fell into the ocean! Terrance laughed as Clementine screamed in fear before sinking into the water! Terrance said a farewell. “Percy the Pedophile was no more as he plunged to the bottom of the ocean floor! YARRRRRR!!!”

The Pitt Report updates Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights!
All characters, stories, and performances are (C) 2010 Joshua Dyson

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