Shit Pitt--Rebellion's Response

Johnny Pizzazz says NO to the Wedding!


Shit Pitt--Bridle Vows pt. 2 of 5: “Rebellion's Response”

Coach Spurrier held Snigger’s bridle tightly in his hands as he got off the horse. Johnny Pizzazz approached them. Spurrier held his ground, and was ready to fight if necessary. No one was going to stop him from marrying Snigger the horse!

Pizzazz walked up to them, but stopped a few feet away. “Spurrier. We know what you’ve done, and what you are planning to do here today.” Pizzazz reached in his pocket and Spurrier got ready to defend himself against whatever he would pull out. The Cocky Coach relaxed when he saw it was nothing more than Pizzazz’s trademark microphone! Pizzazz held the mic up in the air and leaned his head back to speak into it.

“On behalf of the Rebellion, I just have to say…It’s time once again, for the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic…JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!” He then proceeded to pace back and forth with the microphone as if he was full of electricity…or caffeine! Spurrier sighed.

“Do ya HAVE to do that EVERY time ya greet someone?!? This ain’t one of your magic shows, Pizzazz! Are ya gon’ try and stop me or what?”

Pizzazz stopped pacing and looked at Spurrier again. “As the Maestro of Magic was saying…Spurrier, we know what you’ve done, and what you’re planning to do! You are wrong on both counts, and as acting leader of the Rebellion in the Cowboy’s absence, I have the authority to right that wrong!” Optic Ink Eye started going on in his native tongue again, and ran up behind Pizzazz to lend him some support! “Coach Spurrier, you have commited two crimes! You have stolen the Cowboy’s horse, Snigger, and you have betrayed us by causing the Cowboy to get locked up!”

“Is that right? Well there ain’t nothing ya can do about it! Me and Snigger--we gonna be together--now and forever!” Spurrier let go of Snigger’s bridle and clenched his fists! “Me and him is gon’ be married!”

Pizzazz spoke again. “Spurrier, we have nothing against you marrying a horse! It might even be legal in this state…I don’t know. The problem is…if you marry Snigger, then that takes him away from the Cowboy without his permission! Snigger belongs to the Cowboy, and you have to give him back!

“He don’t belong ta nobody! Snigger is his own person! Free as the wind!”
“Spurrier, return Snigger to his stall and we can forget all this!”
“Shut up, Pizzazz! Ya can’t tell me what to do! I’m Coach Spurrier, and I’m a winner, unlike all of you! I’m gon’ marry this damn horse and their ain’t nothing you can do about it!”

Spurrier gasped when two strong arms grabbed him from behind! It was Betram Bunny and Vinnie Love! He hadn’t noticed them slip off earlier and come up behind him. Optic Ink Eye had been the distraction to cover their movements!

“Let go ‘a me ya damn losers!”
“Ahu hu hu, I’m sorry Mr. Spurrier! It pains me to do this, Sir!” Betram was full of tears. “I know how much ya love four-legged animals, but the Cowboy…the Cowboy helped me and Vinnie out a lot! If ya won’t give Snigger back, then ahu hu hu, we gotta take ya in!”
“Ya ain’t takin’ me nowhere damn it!”
Vinnie Love tried to calm the Cocky Coach. “Take it easy, daddy! It’s gonna be all right!”
“Why don’tcha shut up, ya damn hippie?”

Pizzazz walked back towards the house as Vinnie and Betram followed with Spurrier. “I didn’t want to do this, but we’re going to have to lock you up with the Shitlings until we sort all this out.”

“There ain’t nothin’ ta sort out! You can’t keep me from havin’ Snigger!” Suddenly, Spurrier got his arms free, and kicked Vinnie and Betram away! He ran to Snigger, trying to jump on his back for a fast getaway, but Optic Ink Eye was on him with hii alien speed! The OIE jumped on Spurrier’s back and sent the old guy right to the ground! Spurrier screamed and cursed, but it was no use. The Alienated Alien’s strength was too much for him, and Spurrier could not get up!

“STOP!” A voice rang out from the porch. It was the Reverend Reynolds!


Purchase a copy of the Sammie Star mini comic and support this blog! Who is Sammie Star and why is he/she called the Androgynous Anomaly? Find out more about the character in this issue now for only $1.00! Created, Written, and Drawn by Joshua Dyson

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2011 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.