Shit Pitt--Spurrier's Wedding Preparation

Spurrier gets ready for his wedding!

Shit Pitt--Bridle Vows pt. 4 of 5: “Spurrier's Wedding Preparation”

Coach Spurrier stood in front of a mirror in the bathroom, checking himself out. The “Ol’ Cocky Coach” had scored a major victory, and was never more proud! However, winning a football game or finally being rid of Stephen Gardia wasn’t what had him feeling so great! Spurrier was so happy because today was to be his wedding day! He would marry the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on…Snigger the horse!

Spurrier had on a garnet suit and matching tie, to celebrate the school colors of the football team he coached! He smiled a big smile, and the skin of his leathery red face cracked and creaked from the effort. As his cheeks rose, his eyes squinted, revealing crow’s feet crevices that stretched down each side of his face, and showed his age. Spurrier thought to himself what a lucky old man he was, to have the opportunity to get hitched to a fine animal like Snigger!

Now that the rebellion had been forced to see that Spurrier had not kidnapped Snigger at all, there would be no one to stop the marriage, unless the Cowboy broke out of jail! The coach was half-expecting the Rosewood Cowboy to show up at the last minute, and try to reclaim his former horse! Spurrier felt confident that he’d be ready for him though, and that not even the Cowboy could stop him from marrying Snigger! They’d get married, and then ride off into the sunset together! Well, Spurrier would ride, and his “bride” would carry him! Spurrier was just thinking about riding Snigger bareback and buck naked when his thoughts were interrupted by the Reverend Reynolds!

“Spurrier, are ya almost ready?” Reynolds called to him from the other side of the bathroom door. “Yeah, I’m almost done! I hope that mah lovely bride is wearing his veil! Wanna make sure I get ta lift it up and give Snigger a kiss when we are pronounced Man and Horse!” With that, Spurrier ran out of the bathroom and went with Reynolds to the yard, where the ceremony would be held.

CHECK BACK HERE SATURDAY, 10/22/11 at 8 PM for a video of the wedding vows!



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