Shit Pitt--Wedding Reception

Will the reception end with a bang?

Shit Pitt--Bridle Vows pt. 5 of 5: “Wedding Reception”
Coach Spurrier was wasted. After finally marrying the love of his life, Snigger the Horse, the pair rode off into the woods to meet up with some of Spurrier’s friends for the wedding reception! Spurrier had pulled out a bottle of his Gamey Garnet Cockwine and had begun sipping it as the journey began. By the time they reached their destination, Spurrier was drunk, and ready to party!

Spurrier lay on his back, sprawled across the back of his new bride! Amazingly, he had yet to fall off of Snigger’s back in this position, and still held his bottle of Gamey Cockwine!

“Hells yeah I’s married! M-me and this h-hear horseisss married woooo hoo! N-now--URP--befores Sniggers and I’s consummates the marriage, we’s gon parteee like there’s no t-tomorrow!!”

Snigger stood with the drunken Spurrier on his back, in the middle of a clearing. Nearby was a fire, which was surrounded by Spurrier’s buddies. They included some of his notable football players such as Conner Squaw, Markus Laddermore, and even the recently released Steven Gardia! Former football player Christopher Smellypants also showed up, eating beans and passing gas on people. They were all drinking and doing stupid things. Eventually, Farmer Brown showed up with some more farm animals like Snigger, and Smellypants chased a pig into a bush and did who knows what with it! The cheerleaders were also at the reception, and laid out on the grass and let the football players take turns like they often do after football practice at the Willy Rice Stadium!

A great time was being had by all…that is, until a gunshot rang out and a bullet whizzed past the drunken Spurrier’s head! Spurrier looked upside down with glazed eyes towards the sound. He saw the Rosewood Cowboy standing at the edge of the clearing, with his pistol ready!



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