Wednesday, March 28, 2012

New Ink Pitt--Troubled Thoughts



New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 1 of 5: "Troubled Thoughts"

Trodemus lay in bed, beside his lady love, Belinda, the bbw. A wild night of romance with Belinda had made him temporarily forget his troubles.

As Belinda lay sound asleep, Trodemus remained wide awake. His mind revisted the questions that he had yet to answer. The dream that predicted the end of his business had now taken shape in the physcial word, and despite his efforts, continued to haunt him. Death had appeared, and reaffirmed that the Prophet of Doom’s fortune-telling business would end. A ghost had also appeared at the Haunted House of Doom, though there had been no one playing one, and nothing under the sheet! Trodemus was not sure what was going on, but he still did not believe that his business could fall with all the profits he’d been making.

Trodemus then laughed at himself for being frightened of his financial future. He had earned too much money to let a bad dream and a few unexplained incidents worry him! Besides, he was Trodemus, the Prophet of Doom, an expert on “doom” and at facing down the supernatural! Whatever was going on, he felt confident that he would figure it out and defeat the cause! Trodemus was further inspired as he looked over at Belinda sleeping so peacefully.

Suddenly, some books fell off a nearby shelf! A white light then appeared, revealing the outline of what looked like the same ghost Doom had seen in the haunted house! Trodemus rose up in bed and readied himself to fight it!


All characters, stories, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson
Photo by Joshua Dyson and Kristen Whitehead

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Monday, March 26, 2012

New Ink Pitt--Haunted House of Doom Aftermath



New Ink Pitt--Haunted House of Doom Aftermath

After the unexplained appearances of Death and what was seemingly a ghost in the Haunted House of Doom, Trodemus was irate! He was determined to find the source of these distractions, and punish whoever was behind them for interrupting his show!

Trodemus gathered his Haunted House of Doom players to question them. Wilbur Hydrick, She-Peepers, Potbellied Ninja, and the Dark Cat stood before him, just inside the entrance to the Haunted House of Doom. Rufus the Retard had already left, after telling Trodemus that he was afraid of the dark! Belinda walked in last, still dressed in a tight-fitting witch costume that showed off her cleavage! Trodemus smiled at his lady love and then began his interrogation.

An hour of interrogation proved useless, since all the players said they saw nothing. Only Trodemus had seen the ghost and Death. Trodemus suspected foul play, but he had no way to prove it. Finally, he paid Wilbur and She-Peepers and sent them on their way. He then took Belinda by the hand and beckoned to his servants, the Potbellied Ninja and Dark Cat, to follow them into the Haunted House of Doom. The four of them searched the entire Haunted House for any signs of an explanation to what Doom saw. They turned up nothing.

Later, Trodemus sat in his office back at his Psychic Parlor of Doom, troubled by what he‘d seen. Death seemed real, but there had to be some other explanation. The real Death wasn’t a liar, but this “Death” had said that Doom’s business would fail. Trodemus knew that such a statement could not be true, since his recent improvements of his fortune-telling business, along with the Haunted House of Doom venture had made him very wealthy! The “ghost” that appeared was also troubling. What did it mean? Why did it appear and what was its purpose in all this? Trodemus’ frustration faded however, as Belinda walked in. She wore one of Trodemus’ black robes, and was smiling at him. A moment later, she removed the robe to reveal her naked, vuluptous body! Trodemus quickly left his seat and his troubles behind to embrace his lady love, Belinda the bbw!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Shit Pitt--Back at the Farm



Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger Aftermath: “Back at the Farm”

The Rosewood Cowboy returned to the place where Spurrier had his wedding reception party. He arrived, riding on the back of Snigger, who had now regained his senses. They had left Spurrier soaked in urine and defeated back at the hotel.

Johnny Pizzazz, Optic Ink Eye, Betram Bunny, and Vinnie Love (along with the two cheerleaders from earlier) greeted him. The group had put an end to the reception and sent all the attendees home, including Connor Squaw, Markus Laddermore, and Chris Smellypants. The Cowboy rode up to Pizzazz and looked him in the eye.

“It’s over. Spurrier won’t mess with Snigger no more. Ah made sure of it!" Snigger neighed in agreement with his master.

Pizzazz questioned him. “What did you do? You didn’t ki--”

“Naw! Didn’t do him in like he deserved, but we sure as hell stuck it to him! Snigger is getting a divorce, and gonna take that low down varmit fer all he’s worth!”

The Cowboy smiled without saying another word, as he and Snigger trotted off back towards their farm. Pizzazz and the others followed. Around thirty minutes later, they arrived at the farm. The Cowboy walked to his front porch and hitched Snigger to a rail there. He then fed him some oats and rubbed his back to let him know that all was right again. The Cowboy then went inside his house, only to find an unconscious Reverend Reynolds laid out on the living room floor!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Shit Pitt--Spurrier Snagged



Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 5 of 5: “Spurrier Snagged”

Coach Spurrier was on the run. Snigger, his equine bride, had regained his senses and was free of whatever mind control the Coaxing Coach had held over him! Spurrier ran as hard as he could, but a quick glance behind revealed a galloping Snigger, who appeared mad as hell and nearly upon him!

A moment later and Spurrier was caught! Snigger used his teeth to latch onto Spurrier’s head of hair, which was the only thing to grab since the coach was still buck naked! Snigger pulled Spurrier back with savage force, stopping his pursuit instantly!

“YEOWWWW!!” Spurrier cried in pain at his hair being pulled, as the old coach hoped that none of it would get pulled out! He had only made it about five yards from the hotel, which was not a good sign for a football coach! Snigger stood with Spurrier’s hair in his mouth, and awaited his true master, the Rosewood Cowboy!

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Lemme go, damn it!” Spurrier squirmed, but not too much, as the pain was bringing him to tears. The Rosewood Cowboy then walked up, carrying his boot full of urine.

“It’sall over, Spurrier! Yew done lost! Smellin’ mah piss will make anybody, ‘specially mah horse, get their senses back! Yew is gonna pay for stealin’ Snigger from me, yew dirty varmit, yew!” The Cowboy pulled his pistol from its holster and pointed it at Spurrier. “Now, yew got any last words?”

Spurrier was now crying in fear. “Don’t shoot me, Cowboy! Ah’m sorry! I ain’t never gonna mess with Snigger again! He’s just such a fine horse that ah got jealous! Ah had ta have him!”

The Cowboy cocked his gun. “No more talk about Snigger! Make peace with yer maker!” Spurrier went on about how he was sorry and cried and pleaded with the Cowboy to spare him.

“Relax. Ah ain’t gonna kill yew! Got a better idea--yew know what it is, Snigger?” Snigger neighed in agreement. “Spurrier, yew done married mah horse, but yew ain’t gonna have him! Yew is married though, and that means Snigger is gon take yew fer all yer worth in the DIVORCE!! Still, that don’t mean ah ain’t gonna get me some early payback!” The Cowboy then tipped the boot in Spurrier’s direction, tossing his urine all over the coach!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Shit Pitt--Piss N Boot



Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 4 of 5: “Piss n Boot”

The Rosewood Cowboy stood in Spurrier and Snigger’s hotel room, with his pants unzipped and one of his boots off. The usual procedure of barking on all fours had not been enough to restore Snigger the horse to his old self since Spurrier had countered it. The Cowboy was now about to take his reform technique just a bit further…

“What the hell you doin’?” Spurrier, who was still naked, squatted down by Snigger as he continued to rub the horse’s stomach.

“Yew’ll see.” The Cowboy then set his boot upright on the floor in front of him. He then pulled out his penis and proceeded to urinate in the boot!!

“Hey…Hey…HEY!” Spurrier was getting upset. “You can’t do that in here! This is our bedroom!”

The Cowboy continued to urinate. He looked over at his horse. Snigger began to sniff the smell of the urine. The Cowboy then finished, and walked over to the side of the room opposite to Spurrier and Snigger.

“What are you doin’ man? Take that piss outta here! Damn it!” Spurrier leaned over to try and pick up the urine-filled boot. Before he could touch it though, he felt hot breath on his back. He turned to find Snigger standing right behind him, and looking angry.

“Hey honey…are you okay?” Snigger neighed angrily. Spurrier got up and backed away from the horse. “Snigger, whut is wrong with you? It’s me, your lovin’ husband!” Snigger neighed again, and this time it sounded louder and angrier. “C’mon honey…let’s get the cowboy out of here and you and I can finally get in the bed and do whut we came here to do!”

With that comment, Snigger neighed as loudly as he could and reared up on his hind legs! Smelling the Cowboy’s pissy boot had broken whatever hold Spurrier had over him, and now he was ready to trample Spurrier for what he’d done! Spurrier turned and ran naked out the door, as Snigger charged off after him, full of rage!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Shit Pitt--Stable of Staleness



Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 3 of 5: “Stable of Staleness”

The Rosewood Cowboy pulled his pants up by his belt. He was about to use his four-legged reform technique to free Snigger the horse from the mental grip of Coach Spurrier!

“Now yew lissen here, Spurrier…I know yew got Snigger under some sorta mind control, but it ends now! Once I use my four-legged reform technique, Snigger will regain his senses and kick yew in the nuts!”

Spurrier grinned. He was still naked and a bit excited. “Shut up, Cowboy! There ain’t nothing ya can do…me and Snigger is in love!”

The Cowboy got down on all fours, and looked up directly into the eyes of his horse, Snigger. As Snigger locked eyes with him, the Cowboy remembered how his four-legged reform technique had changed the lives of so many! It’s power had even helped destroy Shithead! There was no doubt in his mind that it would restore his best friend now!

Spurrier began to laugh at the Cowboy’s actions, deeming them ridiculous and a bit odd. Not that he had any room to talk, in light of his marriage to a horse.

The Cowboy focused on his friend Snigger. As their eyes remained locked, it was as if they shared a telepathic rapport, and had shut out everything around them in order to restore their friendship. The Cowboy reached down into the deep symbolic stable of staleness where Snigger had been trapped. He reached down, and grabbed hold of his friend! The Cowboy began to bark, as is customary with the four-legged reform technique. Snigger’s visage changed immediately, as he began to regain his senses!

“What the hell?!?” Spurrier got nervous as he saw the difference in Snigger. He resolved to stop it, even if it meant finally revealing his “way” with four-legged creatures! He ran over to Snigger and began to rub his belly, “coaxing” the animal as he had before. Snigger was resistant at first, but he suddenly began to mellow out again and acted indifferent to the Cowboy, who was still barking and on all fours.

“See there, Cowboy! You ain’t gon take mah wife! Better go find ya a mare and marry her, because Snigger is MINE!”

The Cowboy gritted his teeth in anger. It was clear he was going to have to push the envelope if he was going to get Snigger back!

“Yew think so, hmm? Well yew ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Yew’re about ta find out just how powerful mah reform technique can be! The barkin’ on all fours is just a scratch on the surface!”

With that, the Cowboy pulled off one of his boots and unzipped his pants…



All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.