Wednesday, November 4, 2015

New Ink Pitt--The Boom

New Ink Pitt--Dealing with the Dupes pt. 12 of 12: The Boom

Manly Man Gaymerica opened his eyes to find himself chained to a wall next to his kidnapper, the Original Manly Man!  Confused, Gaymerica looked closer to see if what he was seeing was real.  It was indeed the Original Manly Man, who was now unconscious due to the tranquilizer dart Screenface had shot him with.  Gaymerica looked to the opposite side of Manly Man and saw a familiar face.

“Mister Bates!”  Gaymerica grew hopeful.  “Oh it is so good to see you!  You’ll get us out of here…I just know it!”

Officer Bates groaned.  “Oh man I was hoping you’d both stay unconscious.  Had enough of the Purple Pussy so I sure don’t need to hear from the Red, White, and Blue Pussy!  Be glad when the BOOM finally happens!”

Gaymerica grew curious.  “The Boom?  What’s that?”

“The Boom is what you, me, and the Purple Pussy here are gonna do any minute now!”

“What?  By Boom, do you mean we’re going to have a threesome?  Oh, Mister Bates
I knew you’d come around!“

“No, you fruitcake!  By boom I mean, explode!”

Gaymerica giggled.  “Oh I know you will, Mister Bates!  I’ll make sure you do after I give you a hand hehe!”

Bates shook his head.

“Is that why my kidnapper and would be assassin, the “original” Manly Man is here chained up with us?  You caught him and rescued me so you could have your way with both of us?!?  Very kinky, Mister Bates!  Where are we anyway?”

Bates gritted his teeth.  “LISTEN, We’re in one of Screenface’s hideouts.  The Purple Pussy got the drop on us both though, and held us captive a while.  Then Screenface’s men and his girlfriend got him free.  He then returned the favor by capturing the Purple Pussy when he came back here with you.  Now he’s gonna blow up this hideout since it’s compromised and we’re here.”

“Ooo that dirty Screenface!  He’s just jealous that I’m his Presidential Princess and the one true victor in the election!  Maybe I can talk some sense into him…make him my Vice Princess--ooooo--and he’ll agree to let us go!”

Bates sighed.  “Oh God please make it stop!”

“Calm down, Mister Bates.  You can rest easy and not play hero this one time!  Save your energy for showing appreciation to your Presidential Princess…hopefully in the form of a long, intimate hug!  Hehe!  Don’t worry, I’ll get us out of here!”

“You’re forgettin’ one thing, Presidential Pussy!”  Bates growled.  “Screenface doesn’t have a reason to come back in here and talk to you!  He’s probably gonna push the button and that’s it!”

Gaymerica gasped.  “Oh my goodness!”


Screenface sat on an executive leather chair in the nearby room Manly Man had used to spy on the concrete prison.  The room was filled with monitors and other surveillance equipment that allowed Screenface views of every part of his abandoned office building hideout.  The Veiled Villain watched Bates, Manly Man, and Gaymerica on a large monitor in front of him.

Markéta stood behind Screenface, with her hands on his shoulders.  “When goes the boom, My Love?  I am ready to be away from this place!”

“Soon Markéta.  I am waiting for a few more possible guests.”

Screenface lifted a finger and pointed to another monitor.  “There.”  Billy G and the other Manlies were seen pulling up outside the abandoned office building.  “They’ve come for their precious Gaymerica, as I expected.  Manly Man sought to trap them here possibly, but now they will be eliminated by SCREENFAACE!”


Billy G pulled got out of his truck and cocked his pistol.  He was followed by Manly Man Safari and Yellow.  Manly Man Brown and Midnight climbed out of the back and joined them.  They walked up to the door that had been padlocked before by the Original Manly Man.  It was no longer there, but being their first visit, Billy G and company had no idea that there had ever been a lock.   The five of them walked in, only to suddenly and violently have the door slammed shut behind them!

“What the hell!?”  Billy G whirled around and tried to reopen the door, but it was useless.  The other Manlies attempted to help, but it would not open.  Billy G sighed.  “Well ah kinda figured it was a trap!  We gotta go on if we wanta rescue Gaymerica!”

The other Manlies agreed.  Safari was in such agreement that he got on all fours and rubbed up against Billy G’s leg before running over to a support beam , sliding off his pants and relieving himself like an animal!  Billy G smiled.  Yellow started to tell a joke but was cut off by the arrival of three of Screenface’s suited men who aimed their assualt rifles at the group.

“Come with us!”  one of the suited men demanded.

“Who the hell are you guys, and where is Gaymerica?!?” Billy G shouted.

“Come with us…NOW!”  Their rifles clicked.

“NO!”  Billy G then fired his pistol twice and hit one of the men in the shoulder!  They opened fire but the Manlies and Billy G scattered.  Before the men could respond, Safari and Midnight were already behind them, moving at a superhuman speed.  Midnight took out one man by grabbing him and trying to “suck his blood” by biting him in the neck until he went down.  He drew no blood but evidently pinched a nerve that knocked the man out.  Safari also bit the other man, but in the leg as he latched onto him like a bulldog!  Yellow giggled and stood behind Billy G.  Brown surveyed the room for any more attackers.  The shot man scampered off towards the back of the building where the elevator was located.  Billy G and company followed.  Midnight put his bite on the other man Safari held and rendered him unconscious before moving on.

Billy G and the Manlies followed the man down a long dark hallway and located the elevator, which he was already on.  They pushed the button and waited.  The elevator returned and they got on and rode it down.  The elevator doors opened to reveal another hallway which had doorways on either side.  There was no sign of the wounded man,  but Safari began to sniff the air.

“Whatcha smell, Safari?” Billy G asked as he petted Safari on the back.

Safari whined and then took off down the hallway, barking like a dog!

“It’s Gaymerica!  It’s gotta be!  Safari has picked up his scent! C’mon fellas!”  Bill G rushed off after him as the other manlies followed.  They rounded a corner to find Safari in front of one of the doors, scratching the floor.  He whined again and looked up at Billy G.

“Good job, Safari!  Now back up and let’s get this thing open.  Billy G slid the simple latch lock aside and opened the door.  Before them were the captured Gaymerica, Officer Bates, and the Original Manly Man!  Suddenly, an alarm went off.

“What’s that?!?” Billy G asked.

“Probably Screenface letting us all know this place is about to blow!”  Bates growled.

“Huh?” Billy G was confused.  Manly Man Brown and Yellow rushed into the room to free Gaymerica.

“He’s gonna blow this whole place up!  This is Screenface’s hideout!  I’ll explain later…just get me down from here quick!”

Once freed, Bates ran out of the room, intent on capturing Screenface before the boom!

“Mister Bates, where are you going?!?”  The Original Manly Man grew worried.  With Bates gone he had no one to deal with him lawfully and take him in for his crimes.  Now he was at the mercy of his own manlies and Billy G who stood around and stared at him.  He was still chained to the wall and helpless.  Gaymerica walked up to him.

“Ok, sugar you’ve got a lot to answer for!”  Gaymerica then slapped the Original Manly  Man in the face, but got his hand stuck!

“Wh-what’s going on?”  Gaymerica tried to pull his bare hand away but some unseen force held it right on the Original Manly Man’s cheek!

“I don’t know! Last time this happened you were asleep hehe!  Sure tickles!”  As he spoke, the Original Manly Man felt the tingly feeling he felt before, only this time the charge that built up did not separate the two.  Gaymerica felt himself slipping further into the Original Manly Man.  His hand was suddenly turned to a liquid like substance as he began to meld with him!  The tingling built up to a shock that produced a powerful white light that caused Billy G and the other manlies to shield their eyes.  When they looked again, Manly Man Gaymerica was gone and only the Original Manly Man hung on the wall before them!  The manlies were shocked, and backed off.  Only Billy G moved forwards to confront him.

“Wh-what happened ta Gaymerica?  What did you do?!?" Billy G waved his pistol around.

"Relax Sugar.  I couldn't help it!  The manlies are part of me and physical contact with them evidently returns them to me!  It almost happened before when I touched Gaymerica in the limo!  Please, let me free before we all die!  I'll explain more once we're outta here!"

Billy G quickly freed the Original Manly Man and the group made there way back up the elevator towards the exit.


Meanwhile, Officer Bates had made his way to the rooftop, after spotting an escaping Screenface and Markéta headed up some stairs.  One of Screenface's men kept Bates from reaching them, and by the time he got to the roof, the Veiled Villain and Markéta were in a helicopter high above the building.  Bates gritted his teeth in frustration as Screenface waved at him from the helicopter.  It was then that the building exploded!


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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