Wednesday, August 26, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Gay Gas

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 5 of 5:  "Gay Gas"*

“GET AWAY FROM ME!”  Officer Bates shouted at Screenface, who was trying to give him a hug.

“Bates…I’m sorry…I’m just…so emotional!”  The Veiled Villain sobbed as he broke into tears underneath his screeny demeanor.  “I…just need someone to…CUDDLE WITH!”  Screenface leapt with arms open towards Officer Bates.  Bates backed away and into a corner of the concrete room.

“My God, Man, what is wrong with you?  You’ve become some sort of Sissyface! Urgggh and why do I have cramps in my stomach?!?”

“It’s…the gay gas…Manly Man is using it on us to make us more effeminate!”  Screenface said between sobs.

“Urgghhh that’s it!  Forgot he questioned you about that before he gave us that damn sleeping gas again!  Tell me why you have “gay” gas as a torture device?”

“It was something…sniff…I concocted after my encounter with the Manly Man in the Whitespace.  I felt having a weapon…sob…that could make my enemies effeminate and weak would guarantee victory over them!”  Screenface then paused and sat down in the other corner slowly.  “Now though…I feel so AWFUL about it!  I was going to use it on Trostelus and Gaymerica because I wanted to rule the New Ink Pitt!  I should have just called them up and chatted because we could have been great friends!”

SMACK!  “Get a hold of yourself!”  Officer Bates yelled as he smacked Screenface across his screen-covered face.  “You’re acting like a woman when you should be using your super-intellect to help me figure a way out of here!!  There must be some way to es--urrgghhh!”  Bates grabbed his stomach as he felt another spasm of pain.  The cramp was so strong that he fell to the floor!

“I’m sorry, Bates!  On a positive note, the title “gay” gas is a misnomer.  The gas will not make us gay, but it will certainly make us feel like women!”

“Urrghh too hurt to care!  Hope I don’t grow ughhh boobs!”

“If exposed…long enough…that is a possibility!”  Screenface continued to cry.

Suddenly, a panel in the door of the room slid open, revealing the face of the Manly Man!
“Hey guys…or should I say girls? Hehe!  How are you feeling?”

“Daaamn…you!” Officer Bates struggled to speak.

“Doing pretty good I see!  Oh Screenie Poo, your gay gas sure does work wonders! Now I don’t have to worry about keeping you two bound up on the wall while I’m out!  Anyway, I know you’re busy, but I wanted to make sure you took time to eat so I brought you some snacks!”  Manly Man slid in a tray with an assortment of packaged foods that included crackers, cookies, and snack cakes.  “Now don’t be upset that it’s all unhealthy, Girls!  It’s the best I could do on such short notice, so you’ll have to eat it for now!”

“Well, don’t have too much fun while I’m gone!  I’m headed out to a comedy show!  Manly Man Yellow is performing, and the little ditz put out a poster, making him really easy to find!”

*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline

NEXT:  SECRET SIGNALS
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 2, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

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Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Also available for purchase: the Peeper #7 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for August 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to the Tilted Kilt & Billy G's KFC Investigation!





















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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Big Ball Dilemma

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 4 of 5:  Big Ball Dilemma*
Manly Man's Big Ball Dilemma!

The door to the concrete room that held Officer Bates and Screenface slid open, letting in a proudly-prancing Man Princess!

“Hey GUYS!” Manly Man shouted as he happily bounced into the room.  “How are you doing?”  The fatigued Bates and Screenface made no attempt to answer.

“That good, huh?   Well I’m doing much better after writing in my diary!  I faced a dilemma--a really BIG dilemma!  It dealt with what to do with my dupes.  Those five faggy fakers are impersonating me in one sense, which I don’t appreciate!  On the other hand, they essentially are me and I’ve kinda grown fond of them!

“I couldn’t bring myself to kill them, but my ego wouldn’t let them just continue to run around using my name and wearing my face!  That naughty dilemma!  It was like two really big sour balls hanging right in front of my luscious lips!  No matter which one I chose, I was sure to get smacked in the face hehe!”

Manly Man held up cupped hands in the air and made squeezing motions.  “So I tested out each of those balls…in my mind of course…to see which one would be best!  I prodded, petted, and pinched them to check to see which ball would best please me!”

Bates groaned.

“What was that Mr. Bates?  Are you getting jealous again?!?  How are we ever going to be a couple if you don’t let me play with other balls? Hehe!”

“Could you spare us the ball story and get to the point?” Bates demanded.

“OH ALL RIGHT!  Mr. Bates, you are just no fun!  Now Screenie Poo over there isn’t going to get to hear the rest of my ball story!”

“The story matters not to SCREENFAACE!”

Manly Man stood with his hands on hips as he looked over at Screenface.  “See what you did, Mr. Bates?  Now Screenie Poo doesn’t want to hear it either!!”  He then sighed and shook his head.

“ANYWAY, I decided that best way to deal with my dupes is not to kill them, but let them know who’s boss!  I’m still going to hunt and shoot at them, but only to get their attention!  Once I’ve “marked” the other three,  I’ll reveal myself and tell them to line up behind the Original Man Princess or get lost!”

Manly Man paused for a moment.  “There’s just one problem.  You guys!  Can’t leave you hanging around here, even if it does please me to imagine you as two big balls hangin--”

“SHUT UP WITH THE BALL TALK YOU DAMN PURPLE PUSSY!”  Bates yelled.

“Oh my goodness, Mr. Bates you sure are angry!”  Manly Man giggled.  “I like that in a man though!  I know you’re upset because you’re uncomfortable hanging there, but I wanted you to know I think I’ve found a solution!  I may need more information from Screenie Poo though!  Screenie, why oh why do you have a switch in your control room labeled GAY GAS?”

*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline

NEXT:  GAY GAS
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 26, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Also available for purchase: the Peeper #7 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for August 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to the Tilted Kilt & Billy G's KFC Investigation!





















SKETCH CARD COMMISSIONS
Now taking Sketch Card Commissions at Awerty Studio
Check out 80's AUGUST, featuring 80's themed sketch cards!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Advice & Answers

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 3 of 5:  Advice & Answers*
Manly Man, getting advice!

The Manly Man sat in his chair in front of the bound Officer Bates and Screenface.

“I need answers, guys!  Can you tell me why Billy G Hydrick was runnin’ around the woods naked with my dupe?!?”

“Probably because Gaymerica finally turned him gay!” Bates retorted.

Manly Man slid his hands between his crotch and grabbed the front of his chair, which raised his shoulders in a very feminine pose.  “Oh Mr. Bates, you’re such a smarty!  That does make sense though! That little heifer Safari has picked up where Gaymerica left off in the attempted Gayification of Billy G!”

“But that’s not what I’m asking.  I already know that Billy G was only naked because he was skinny-dipping with Safari.  Either that or they were playing grab-ass in the woods!”

Manly Man sighed.  “What I really want to know is…why isn’t Billy G running around naked with me?”

Bates responded again.  “Probably because you tried to kill his friends!”

“Mr. Bates…are you JEALOUS?  Worried that Billy G is going to get some of this Man Princess before you?  Don’t worry, Sugar!  I’ve had great fun playing with your pistol and it makes me want the real thing so much more!  All you have to do is do what you said…turn gay!  Ooo I’ll be all over you like frillies on panties!  Any chance?”

Bates gritted his teeth. “Nope. But there is a chance that I will LOCK YOU UP when I get loose from here!”

“Oh Mr. Bates!  You and your elaborate ideas of escape!  Don’t you know that Screenie Poo there designed this room to hold any and all of his enemies?  I do think it was originally designed to hold the Ink Avenger, wasn’t it Screenie?”

“Yes…that is true.”  Screenface groaned.  “Should the Ink Avenger ever show up, this room is designed to hold him, even in his ‘roided state, but how do you know that?”

Manly Man giggled.  “Well…I was snooping around and I read that in some of your files here in your hideout!  I found out something else on my own though!  This room was also designed in such a way that even Screenie Poo can’t escape!”

Screenface turned his head quickly towards Manly Man.  “What? How do you know that?”

“Screenie Poo, did you forget your hidden camera over there in the wall?  I heard you say you couldn’t contact your men because of how you designed this room.  Would like to know more about why, but it’s enough now to know that you can’t escape.  Was unsure at first, which is why I gassed you!”

“I still just don’t feel comfortable letting either of you loose from your shackles, even with the room locked!  You might try to jump me when I come in…which may not be a bad thing--hehe-- if you two would suddenly go gay!  Don’t like seeing you hanging around there all the time though.  It looks quite painful!”

“I’ll figure something out.  Got a lot on my mind, so I’m going to go work my feelings out all alone--sigh---with my diary!”

*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline

NEXT:  GAY GAS
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 19, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 

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Check out 80's AUGUST, featuring 80's themed sketch cards!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Screenface's Role

New Ink Pitt--Bates and Screenface pt. 2 of 5:  Screenfaces' Role*



Officer Bates and Screenface hung unconscious in their concrete prison.  The sleeping gas
had kept them out for quite some time.  That would change as Officer Bates slowly regained consciousness.

Bates shook his head in an attempt to cast off the wooziness he felt from the gas.  He then looked over at Screenface, who was also waking up.

“So, what’s your part in all this?”

There was silence for a few moments as Screenface regained his senses.  “Bates,” Screenface’s voice was raspy as he sleepily struggled to make sense of the question.  “it is too early in the morning to be asking questions.  Why don’t you just go back to sleep?”

“Don’t avoid the question!”  Bates moved around a bit on the wall and became aware that even though he was awake, his bound wrists were not.  He gritted his teeth at the tingly sensation in his hands after having his arms above his head for an undetermined amount of time.

Screenface slowly turned his veiled head towards Bates.  “You want information?  You were dead set that you’d found your man, and that man was me…SCREENFAAAACE!”

Bates listened closely.  It seemed Screenface had an Italian accent.  He tried to see who he was underneath the veil, but it was too translucent, and Bates’ trademark sunglasses didn’t help his vision.

“So you admit you have something to do with this?”

Screenface scoffed. “Officer Bates, I am a master criminal.  This sloppy capture is NOT the work of Screenfaaaace!  Rather, it is a bizarre yet blundering attempt at revenge by the Manly Man, who resents my elimination of him in the Whitespace.”

“If it’s so sloppy, Mr. Master Criminal, why are you chained to this wall with me?”

“Manly Man took me by surprise.  He’s supposed to be dead after all!  I came back here to my hideout, which you so eloquently found.  I set that fire and then escaped through my trap door.  When I got to the bottom, he whacked me over the head as he did you.”

Bates smiled. “So that explains this room with the shackles and the convenient vent for releasing sleeping gas!  This place really is your secret hideout!”

“One of my secret hideouts, and one that has been compromised.  I would destroy it if I could somehow contact my men, but this room prevents me from doing so.  I designed it that way, so that no captives would escape Screenfaaace!”

Bates smirked.  “Do you have to keep saying your name like that?”

“Like what?” Screenface appeared confused.

“Your name is Screenface, right?”

“Yes, Officer Bates you know my name!!”

“Screenface?”

“Screenfaaace!”

“Screenface, not Screenfaaace.  What is with all the emphasis on the “a” in the “face?”

 “Officer Bates, I fail to see the importance of you questioning the name of SCREENFAAACE!”

Bates sighed.  Suddenly, a sound came from the metal door of the room.  Whatever lock held it closed was being worked.  The door opened to reveal the Manly Man!  He walked in casually, taking no notice of them at first.  He carried a folding chair that he set up right in front of the bound Bates and Screenface.  He then sat down, with his head hanging a bit low.

“Hey guys, did you have a good rest?  Sorry to disturb you, but I really need some advice!”


*This story takes place after Assassination Attempt pt. 12 and during the Dealing with the Dupes storyline

NEXT:  ADVICE & ANSWERS
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 12, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 

SKETCH CARD COMMISSIONS
Now taking Sketch Card Commissions at Awerty Studio
Check out 80's AUGUST, featuring 80's themed sketch cards!