Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Shit Pitt--Betram meets the Turkey Man

Shit Pitt--Shit War pt. 19.5 of 20 :  Betram meets the Turkey Man

Betram Bunny laid down on his bed and prepared to go to sleep.  The Bisexual Bunny who was always looking for love had finally been relieved of the huge stomach upset he experienced from eating Shithead!  Originally, Betram had brought the Demon of Defecation into the Shit Pitt (as it became known) by reciting from a book of Leprechaun magic while using the toilet!  So it was his duty to return Shithead to his world the same way he had entered--through Betram's ass!  Things had gone wrong though, and there was concern that Betram would pass Shithead and he would be reborn!  Resident magician, Johnny Pizazz, then stepped in and opened up a portal inside Betram that sent Shithead back to his home dimension.*

With his stomach one more at peace, Betram could focus on the other part of his body that had problems--his face!  Horribly disfigured by the evil Dr. Dyson, Betram's face was still an odd mass of stretched skin and fur.  Betram felt sadness as he lay on his bed and thought about his looks.  How would anyone ever love him with a face like the one he had?  He began to cry as he drifted off to sleep.  Suddenly, Betram was aware of a strange noise outside his window.  He listened closely with his bunny ears and identified the sound as an "erk erk erk" noise.  He dismissed it some of the Cowboy's chickens running around, but it was already dark out and they should all be roosting for the night.

ERK ERK ERK ERK came the noise as it got louder and seemed to be getting closer.

ERK ERK ERK  GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA

Betram rose up in his bed at the familar sound.

"Ahu ahu" Betram giggled.  "That sounds like a turkey!"

ERK ERK ERK GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA  TAP TAP

Betram looked towards his window towards the tapping sound just in time to see a turkey shaped head with beak tapping the window!

"Ohh it is a turkey ahu ahu!  Didn't know the Cowboy had any!  Maybe he needs a good shooin' to send him off ta bed ahu ahu!"

Before Betram could move, the turkey began tapping the window harder and harder with its beak in between "goolas" and "erks!"  The tapping got so fast and violent that the glass began to break.  Betram was horrified!  What was wrong with this turkey?

"Go away!  ahu ahu! You got the wrong guy!  I'm a bunny rabbit!  I don't eat meat and I  don't even like Thanksgiving!"

Betram's cries went unheeded, and with one last "goola goola" the turkey cracked a hole in the window and then broke the whole thing by throwing it's body through it!  It came crashing into Betram's room screeching and puffing it feathers up like some dominant beast!  Betram looked closer to see something was not right with this turkey.  The Bisexual Bunny's eyes grew big as he saw that on each side of the turkey, where the feathers are, that there were also two manlike arms!  This Turkey "Man" then turned its attention to Betram!  It stared at him for a moment before leaping up into the air and landing on his bed!

"Oh no!  Don't huwt me!  I'm just a silly bunny man! ahu ahu,"  Betram pleaded.

The Turkey Man let out another erk erk erk that changed into something sounding like a scream.  Betram tried to hide under the covers, but could not take his eyes off the horror before him!  The Turkey Man** appeared to be struggling with something.  He erked and pranced around a bit and then squatted and screamed repeatedly.  Finally the whole frightening scene ended with a

SPLUTCH!

The Turkey Man then leapt off of Betram's bed and out the window, leaving behind a large egg, coated with unknown body fluid and fecal matter.  Betram just sat there in disbelief...


*Read http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2010/12/pitt-report-shit-in-betrams-stomach.html
**Origin of the Turkey Man  http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com/2010/11/special-thanksgiving-story-turkey-man.html

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.





 


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Saturday, November 26, 2016

Donate January!

As a thank you for everyone that has supported me or read my blog over the last few years, I'm offering the Mr. Peepers meets the Hands of Time postcard for a donation of any amount!  Just look over to the right of your screen where the sidebar is, and scroll down to Donate!  Click the Donate button.  Please include your name and address so I can mail out the postcard to you!



All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations


Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--Firefight in the Lab

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge pt. 5 of 6 :  Firefight in the Lab

Peepers fired multiple bursts of energy from his laser wands, turning back the Pittians from their attempt to capture him!

"FIRE!"  Peepers yelled repeatedly as the lasers shot off in the direction of the Pittians.

"Not exactly what I had in mind."  A voice spoke to Glademus as he watched the firefight unfold between Mr. Peepers and the Pittians.

"Well, he seems to be adapting well.  Hopefully the gray experience has humbled him enough to use this version of the power more responsibly."  Glademus sat in a chair next to an executive desk while watching Peepers on the view screen.  Behind the desk, in a leather chair, sat the person he spoke to.  They were inside a large office that was circular in shape.  On the ceiling was a familiar shape that glared down at them.  The room was filled with the finest furniture and looked like a very important place.

Back in the Tinkerer's lab, Peepers was firing lasers all over the place, and the Pittians could do nothing to reach him!  Suddenly, the room filled with gray smoke!

"Choo Choo!!"  Peepers yelled.  "What you think you doing?"  Peepers struggled to see as the smoke filled the lab and the opening to the maze before him.

"Hey guy!"  An odd man in a dress shirt and tie appeared out of the smoke in front of Mr. Peepers.  "Don't worry, I can help you out of here!"

"Who you and where you come from?"  Peepers questioned.

"I'm just a regular guy!  Here to help!"

Peepers' new glasses automatically scanned the man to reveal his true form.  A pumpkin head appeared in place of the regular guy face!

"Charlie Decaye!  You not fool Peepers with new face!  Get out Peepers' way before he blast you!"

Female hands slid across Peepers' shoulders and down his chest, followed by arms and the smell of too much perfume.  Peepers pulled away and turned.

"Lucy!  Stay away from Peepers with dirty hands!"

"Aww c'mon Peepers baby!  My hands ain't dirty!"  She held up her hands and flashed her long fingernails while pushing out her hips sexily.

"Peepers glasses detect otherwise!  Fingers show residue of interaction with hoo ha, and everybody know Lucy #1 Ho with the #1 dirtiest hoo ha!"

"Why you--"  Lucy went to slap Mr. Peepers but the giant ho slapping hand of Jervas Clinkscales did it for her!  He slapped Mr. Peepers from behind, almost sending him to the ground!

"That'll teach ya not ta talk junk 'bout mah #1 ho!  You gon ‘pologize for ever calling her hoo ha dirty!"

Peepers laughed.  "Clinkscales?  What happen to hands?  Did Lucy give you infection with her dirty hoo ha?"

"Don't you laugh at me!  Yeah mah hands look funny but I know how ta use 'em real good!  Gonna use 'em to pimp slap you all over the place!"

Before Peepers could move, the muscular arms of Boris the Russian solider wrapped around him, and held him in place!  His strength was incredible, having been increased by his earlier interaction with Mr. Peepers.

"I've got him, Comrade Jervas!"

Jervas rubbed his giant hands together and smiled.  He was ready to give Mr. Peepers a good smacking!

BRANG!  Peepers activated his invulnerability again and his personal force field pushed Jervas back and caused Boris to lose his grip!  Peepers ran through the smoke to escape them, and knocked over Humphrey Hobo on his way!  The impact of the force field knocked the hunchback hobo out!  Peepers' glasses had detected the lab exit through the smoke, and was directing Peepers.  He was almost out and back into the maze when he heard a loud pitched yell that nearly deafened him!  Van Punker appeared and started playing air guitar, which now actually produced sound!  The air guitar sound was joined by his amplified yell.  His air guitar power actually sounded like an entire rock band!  Peepers had no time to ponder it as he quickly fired his lasers at Van Punker and ended the catastrophic concert before it got out of hand!  Peepers missed the rocker, who jumped out of the way.

Peepers exited the lab and went into the maze leaving the gray smoke behind.  The entire maze was now visible as he started to run down it.  Before he could go a few steps though, the EMT man appeared!  The EMT man looked crazier than ever, and the EMT letters on his forehead were glowing!  He ran up to Peepers and headbutted him!  Peepers was knocked back a bit, but his force field held, and caused the EMT man to be blown backwards and off his feet!  Peepers then ran past the EMT man down the maze.  He turned briefly to fire his lasers into the roof of the maze, which brought down mortar and many mechanical parts between him and his pursuers!  Peepers giggled and continued down the maze.

VRRRPPP!! VRRRPPP!  Peepers tripped and fell as two giant coils wrapped around both his legs.  He looked up to see the Mad Tinkerer with his robot!  The robot had shot the coils out of its arms, and was slowly reeling Peepers closer to him.

"Forgot about us, didn't you?  Well the game is over, Mr. Peepers!"  The Mad Tinkerer scoffed.  "My scientific mind has defeated that strange suit of yours!  Now Glademus has to send us home!"

Mr. Peepers frantically scrolled the screen of his glasses with his eyes, searching for a method of escape.  He then saw a menu entitled “ESCAPE.”  Peepers saw the word “TELEPORT” and activated it!  Peepers said “teleport,” and the world around him began to fade in a red light.  He could faintly hear the voice of the Mad Tinkerer as he struggled to find a way to stop what was happening.  Everything around Peepers then disappeared into a red nothingness!  The redness grew and grew until it finally reached a climax.  It then quickly flew away to reveal another environment!  Peepers looked to find himself in an oval office!  Before him sat Glademus and a man in a black suit and white tie behind an executive desk.  The man was also wearing glasses, which were identical to Mr. Peepers' original ones.  Mr. Peepers realized the man looked exactly like him!  The man rose to his feet and spoke.

"Welcome Peepers.  I am President Peepings!"


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.




 


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Monday, November 7, 2016

New Ink Pitt--Cash-Covered Curves and Collecting

New Ink Pitt--Trodemus:  Psychic Supreme pt. 1 of 3:  Cash-Covered Curves & Collecting

"Ohh Troddie!  We're rich baby!  Rich!"

Trodemus, Prophet of Doom opened his eyes to the sound of his Cherished Chubby, Belinda!  He arose from his Bed of Doom to see her lying naked on a table in the middle of their bedroom!

"Belinda?  What is the meaning of this?  Why are you lying naked without the presence of Doom upon you?"

Belinda raised her curvaceous body up off the table and Trodemus saw that she had been laying on money that had been spread out on the table beneath her!

"It's your money, Troddie!  I love it!"  Belinda then began to roll her enormous sweaty body all over the table, rubbing herself across the money and laughing.  Green 100 dollar bills pressed up against her large breasts, belly, thighs and butt and flattened until they stuck! She was left with a body full of cash-covered curves!

"Belinda!  What are you doing?  The Prophet of Doom enjoys all your sexy games but that is my money you are rolling your big ass on!  Reserve your curves for your man!"

Belinda refused to listen and rolled up a few 100 dollar bills and moved them down to her crotch area!

"Oooo Troddie!  Oooo your money gets me hot!"

Trodemus was at first appalled, but then smirked as he watched his large lady love pleasure herself with his finances!  It was oddly gratifying!

Suddenly the sound of a doorbell was heard, followed by a strange popping sound.  Before anyone could move to answer the door, one appeared in the wall across from Trodemus and Belinda!  The door then flew open to reveal strange beings with oversized  rounded heads and impossibly small bodies.  The all had round dark eyes and made a popping noise.  Trodemus stared in fright as the creatures ran for Belinda!

"Belinda!  Stay away from her!!" Trodemus yelled from his bed.  The creatures leapt up onto the table with Belinda and began to pull the money off of her body!

"Stop!  What are you foul creatures doing to my beautiful Belinda?!?  Begone!"

Belinda laughed as one of the creatures peeled a 100 dollar bill from her breast.  "Hey, that tickles!  It's okay Troddie!  They aren't foul, they're funky!

Trodemus glared.  "Funky?"

Belinda giggled.  "Yeah!  They're called Funky Poppers!  It's because of the popping sound they make and because well, they're funky!"

"Trodemus does not care what they are, he just wants to know why they are here touching his lady love and taking his money!"

"Well they get the money because I bought them!"  Belinda twisted her curves to allow the little Funky Poppers to get several bills out from under her rolls.

"What are you saying?  Did you squander the finances of Doom again?!?

Belinda smiled and picked up one of the Funky Poppers.  "I spent it all Troddie--on these little guys!  Aren't they cute?"

"Bah!  They hardly resemble anything human!  Such funky body types are very unrealistic and not at all appealing to Trodemus of Doom!  You are telling me that you've gone and got yourself a collecting habit?"

"Umm...yeah!  It really is a habit too!  I bought one and then I had to have more!  I kept buying until I got all you see here!"  The room had filled with what appeared to be hundreds of Funky Poppers!

Trodemus groaned.  "And how much did they cost you?"

"Well they were different prices, but I got most of them around $75 each!"

Doom put both hands to his head in pain over such a financial loss!  That is when the room began to turn upside down, and he suddenly found himself on the ceiling while Belinda was below him on what appeared to be the floor.  Trodemus tried to reach Belinda or get her attention but he could not.  She appeared to be frozen in place and did not respond.

"What...is going on now?  Trodemus demands an answer!"

The wall across from him suddenly swirled as a circular rush of energy expanded into some sort of portal!  Out of the portal stepped a bald headed woman in a business suit.

"Oh Trodemus, what if I told you this reality is one that's miniature?  If you want to make your reality bigger you gotta change your hairstyle!  We can be stronger together if you're with me!"



All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--Costume Charged

Peepers' Pitt--pt. 4 of 6 :  Costume Charged

Peepers' world was red and beeping!  His red glasses were now active as the beeping continued and more information scrolled before his eyes.  The terms "laser wands" and "invulnerability field" remained on the screen, with a cursor above them.  Peepers stared at "laser wands" and the words became highlighted.  The word "activate" appeared beside it.  Peepers assumed that speaking would activate them and he was right!  He said "yes" and out of the cuffs of his costume slid two wands with spheres on the tips.  They extended for about 10 inches and stopped.  The words "laser wands ready" and the question "fire?" appeared on the screen.  Peepers lifted one arm and pointed towards the wall across from him.  Choo Choo stepped aside quickly.

"Fire!"  Peepers commanded and a red laser beam shot out from the sphere at the end of the wand.  Unfortunately, the laser wand on the other cuff fired as well.  The force of the laser hitting the wall blew Peepers back and the force of the lowered laser hit the floor, sending Peepers flying slightly through the air!  Peepers flight was broken by the wall, but he landed unhurt as he rolled with the impact and slid down to the floor.

"Laser surprise Peepers!  Must get better control!"  With that, Peepers began pointing and firing all over the Mad Tinkerer's lab!  "Just need practice!  Peepers like! Hehe!"  He took a few shots in Choo Choo's direction and had the old railroad man hopping around  like a youngster!

"Choo Choo look like crazy chicken bouncing around!"  Peepers giggled at how much fun he was having!

"SQUAAAAAWWWWWWK!"  The sound of Birdy Nok Nok filled the lab as the bird man quickly flew out of the maze and into the lab.  He was headed straight for Peepers!
Peepers quickly highlighted "invulnerability field" and activated it.  A glowing energy field sprang up around him with a loud "BRANNG" sound!  Birdy ran right into it and was knocked backwards!

"Peepers...invulnerable!  It almost like being godlike again!"  He then looked over at the fallen Birdy Nok Nok.  "Surprise, Birdy!  Now it time for Peepers to make his escape!" Peepers turned to run down the maze, but was cut off by the appearance of the Pittians, led by the Mad Tinkerer!

"We've got you now Peepers," the Tinkerer declared.

"That what you think!"  Peepers activated his laser wands once more and held them at ready.

Elsewhere, Glademus stood in front of a large viewscreen, watching everything play out.


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay

Monday, October 3, 2016

Shit Pitt--Sweater's Release

Shit Pitt--Sway of the Sweater pt. 2 of 8:  Sweater's Release


"Ahh!  Uhh!  Unggh!"  Monica moaned in frustration as she moved her half-naked body in an attempt to escape the bra that bound her to her bed!  She had tried everything to get free, but her bra was bound by an invisible force and was too tight to slip out of.  The clasps were unreachable since she lay on her back.

"Damn, why don't I own a front clasping bra?!?"

Monica then tried to squeeze her womanly assets from the bra cups but it was rather painful and she realized that even if she got them free, the rest of her would still be stuck!

Monica shook her head.  "No way this body is gonna slip out of that small space!"  She dropped her head back on her pillow and sighed.  She then attempted to roll to her side and was shocked to realize that the bra had suddenly been released!

"Well...isn't that something?"  Monica lifted herself off the bed and was suddenly aware of her undergarments spread all over the bed.  "What the hell happened last night?!?"

*****

"Hulluhulluhulla!!  Dea to de traitor!  Dea to merican fashoon!  Dea to dis sweater,"  came the muffled protests of Halabaad from somewhere beneath his sweater-wrapped head.  The floating poo face of Shithead was nowhere to be seen as the blue sweater now covered the entire thing!  Yet, though he was buried, Shithead was not gone!  The Demon of Defecation rose up to silence Halabaad in his anger.

"You will do no such thing!"  The voice of Shithead spoke clearly and loudly, unaffected by the physical wrappings of the sweater.  "There will be no death to the sweater so long as my sweater shit exists within it!"

Halabaad questioned Shithead telepathically so that his words would be clear.  "But Master, it betrayed us!  The sweater released Clementine and now it attacks us!"

"Calm yourself, Halabaad.  The sweater acts independently apart from my full reclaim of my shit properties.  It merely acted on it's original purpose...to protect Clementine from all harm.  However, its decision to attach itself to you has put it back in contact with its master!  Now I can easily absorb the sweater shit back into myself, leaving a lifeless inanimate object behind!"

With that the sweater suddenly lost all hold on the head of Halabaad and fell down to the sand like the normal sweater that it was.

"Master!  Where is Clementine?!?  The floating turd head of Shithead was once more visible and spun around quickly to locate him.  They spotted Clementine making his way towards the trees.

"Stop him!"  Shithead ordered.  Halabaad reached into his robe and pulled out a pistol which he fired quickly and recklessly.  The bullet whizzed past Clementine as he ducked behind a tree.

"Graggh!  He escapes!"  Halabaad fired off a few more shots but was unable to properly target him as Clementine disappeared in the foliage of the forest.

"No matter."  Shithead sighed.  "We came here to get my sweater shit, not Clementine."

"But Master!  Did you not desire to have him in your service once more?"

Shithead's turds paused their movement for a second as if the Demon of Defecation actually felt concern for the loss of a Shitling.  "Clementine is lost to us for now but we have no time to involve ourselves here."  The body of Halabaad then reached down and lifted up the sweater.  "With this in our grasp though, we may see him again!  We have what we came for and it will certainly work on another Shitling just as well!  The image of the bound Terrance the Pirate flashed through the joined mind of Shithead/Halabaad as they both laughed.


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are © 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental



Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Peeper's Pitt--Countdown to the Charge

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge pt. 3 of 6:  Countdown to  the Charge

The Mad Tinkerer and the rest of the Pittians found Birdy Nok Nok outside the building, still bent over and pecking around on the ground for imaginary seeds.  The Tinkerer slid up a sleeve of his white lab coat to reveal an odd wristwatch.

"Where'd ya get that?"  The Tinkerer gasped as the gravely voice of Charlie Decaye came from behind him.

"It's something I built after Glademus shared more information on how Peepers uses hypnosis against his opponents.  His regular glasses emit a strobe effect that cause a person to go into a state that makes them suggestive to hypnotic commands.  One feature of this wristwatch counteracts his strobe."

The wristwatch buzzed as the Tinkerer walked up to Birdy Nok Nok.

"What's that?"  Charlie Decaye was full of questions, like the good census worker he was.

The Tinkerer held the watch up to his face.  "Somehow, Peepers was able to hypnotize Birdy here without the glasses.  The wristwatch detects it."

Charlie frowned.  "You mean this isn't his normal state?  Sure had me fooled!"

The Tinkerer turned a knob on the watch and a frequency that only Birdy could hear was released.  The Bird Man suddenly raised himself up and looked around frantically in birdlike fashion!

"Squawwk!  Squawwk!"  Birdy went nuts, evidently realizing the seeds he spent all that time pecking for were not real!  He took one look at the Pittians, then leapt from the ground and flew into the building that held the Tinkerer's lab!

"Where's he going?"  Decaye questioned yet again.

"He's probably headed for Peepers!  C'mon Pittians!  Follow Birdy!"


Choo Choo Andrews talked and talked and talked as he told the story of his entire life!  Peepers cringed as Andrews told him every little detail about his life as a child and how he got interested in trains.  Peepers eyed the display in the wrist of his costume and smiled.  There was only 20 seconds left for the costume's charge!  A whirring sound was heard within the wall and then a female voice started the countdown at 5 seconds!

"5"  Peepers smiled as  Choo Choo looked around for the voice.
"4"  The whirring of the wall traveled down closer to where Peepers was attached.
"3"  The whirring stopped at his back and a thump was heard.
"2"  Air released from either side of Peepers as he felt himself being pushed out.
"1"  The lab filled with white smoke that blocked Peepers from Choo Choo's view.

Peepers emerged from the smoke with his costume fully charged and dramatically altered!  The center eyeball design of the gray costume had now gone red with energy and the corners of the eye had expanded outwards to the shoulders in a stripe pattern!  Red stripes of energy ran from the chest area and out to arms.  All the white areas had gone red and the gray...the gray was gone!  Peepers smiled to see that this newly-altered costume felt a lot like his original since it was black!

Suddenly, a beeping sound  came from his glasses.  Peepers' looked through his red glasses to realize they were operating as a display to some sort of computer system built into the costume!  Phrases like "laser wands" and "invulnerability field" popped up on the screen.  Peepers grinned in delight!  He had finally gotten a serious upgrade!


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Shit Pitt--Sweater's Sway

Shit Pitt--Sway of the Sweater pt. 1 of 8:  Sweater's Sway

Clementine watched as the red bubble of energy that separated him from the ocean rose.  The pitch blackness faded to once more reveal the blue green water.  As the bubble drew nearer to the surface, light was once more visible.  Clementine looked up through the quickly diminishing water to see the light of the morning sun.  Finally, the bubble made it to the surface.  Clementine could see the sky above and the island of Tutuila right in front of him!  The bubble was somewhat offshore, but began moving quickly towards the island.   Clementine was beginning to make out a figure standing on the island.  His heart sank as he knew it to be the form of Halabaad, who was possessed by Shithead!  It was only a matter of time before he'd be possessed too!  His sweater was back on, and once Shithead came in contact with it, the shit within its fibers would take Clementine over!

The bubble slid up onto the shore and promptly "burst," knocking Clementine off his feet and leaving him a bit startled!  Halabaad then approached him, only it wasn't Halabaad!  Where his face should have been beneath his headpiece, there was only Shithead!  Shithead's "face" manifested itself visually they same way it did when his physical form was actually there--as a mass of  floating turds that appeared connected at the facial end!  Clementine was disgusted!  The only blessing was that there was no smell accompanying the sight!  The Demon of Defecation wasn't known for being the best-smelling villain around!

"Clementine!"  Shithead's raspy voice came from Halabaad.  "Now you shall embrace the sweater shit and once more do my bidding!!"  Shithead raised Halabaad's arms, as if he was about to cast some sort of spell on Clementine.

"HALALALALALALALA!"

"Silence Halabaad!" Shithead coughed through Halabaad's non-visible mouth and the floating turds bounced around from the air released.

"Sorry, Master Shithead!" Halabaad's  voice came from wherever his mouth was hiding.

Shithead cleared Halabaad's throat with a raspy grunt.  "I know you are eager to see Clementine defeated but your terrorist war cry is not necessary!"

"Forgive me, Master," came the voice of Halabaad.  With that, Shithead turned his attention back to Clementine, but before he could act, Clementine's sweater had leapt off of its owner and was flying through the air right at them!  It quickly and violently wrapped itself around the face of Shithead/Halabaad!

"Wahhh!!"  The raspy voice of Shithead screamed as the sleeves of the sweater clasped the head of Halabaad and held on tightly!



All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental



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Monday, August 15, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--Choo Choo & the Stupid Pecker

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge 2 of 6:  Choo Choo & the Stupid Pecker

Choo Choo Andrews hovered forward over the ground, on his way to capture Mr. Peepers in the Mad Tinkerer's lab!  He stood with his arms down beside him, as he moved at an incredible pace through the air!  Andrews was amazed at his speed, and marveled at the passing colors and textures of the ground, which had become a blur to him!  The only thing he disliked about his new power was that he now had dark smoke coming out of his mouth!  He wasn't sure why or how it happened, but he was pretty sure it was a way for Glademus to play a joke on the old railroad man!  That didn't matter now though.  The most important thing was finding Mr. Peepers so he could get home!  He looked up and saw the Tinkerer's lab becoming visible in the distance!

Choo Choo hovered close to the entrance of the lab, and found Birdy Nok Nok outside, walking around like a chicken with his feathers up and his head pecking the ground!  Choo Choo looked closer, and realized that Birdy was pecking nothing but dirt!  Evidently, Peepers had used some more mind trickery on the poor bird man to make him think there were seeds or some other food he liked on the ground.  Choo Choo yelled at Birdy to try and get his attention, but he just kept pecking away!  Choo Choo tried a few other things, like snapping his fingers and clapping his hands, but got no results.  He then put a hand on Birdy's shoulder, and the bird man flapped a wing, throwing Andrews across the ground!

"Stupid pecker!!!"  Choo Choo cussed as he gathered himself up again.

He decided to leave Birdy alone for now.  He certainly had no love for the bird man, since his wild behavior had almost gotten him killed when he caused their fall from the levitating locomotive before Glademus saved them.  Andrews had better things to do than try and snap the bird man out of his state!  Besides, there was no real way to tell if he was under hypnosis, or just acting crazy like before!  Choo Choo walked up to the door of the Mad Tinkerer's lab.  Luckily, he had gotten the special keys from the Mad Tinkerer before leaving the city!  He entered, but did not anticipate the maze he found!  In order to cover more ground quickly,  he decided to use his hovering ability to quickly explore each direction the maze took!  Unfortunately, he didn't realize he'd find the right direction so quickly, and he ran into the Tinkerer's robots!

Mr. Peepers frowned as he squirmed in his charging trap.  35 minutes was taking too long, and instead of fighting him, Choo Choo Andrews had decided on torture, by telling Peepers the story of how he got there!

"Peepers not care how Choo Choo get here and then feel sorry for 'stupid pecker,' Birdy Nok Nok!  You annoy Peepers with long story!"

Choo Choo laughed.  "Aww I'm glad you enjoyed my story Peepers!"  He sat on a plastic five gallon bucket he'd found in the lab.  "Might have ta tell you another!"

Peepers gritted his teeth.  "No!  Peepers not want to hear anymore!"

"C'mon Peepers!  I've got lots of experience and that's what ya want, right?  All ya had ta do was ask!  Maybe I'll tell ya my life story!"

Peepers shook his head and looked down at his wrist display.  20 minutes had now past.  He did not have that much longer for his costume's charge, but the arrival of the Pittians outside made it more important that ever that the charging get done quickly so he could get away!

Outside, The Mad Tinkerer landed their jet as the Pittians got out and prepared to enter the building.

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE'S CHOICE


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--Affixed Fight

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge pt. 1 of 6:  Affixed Fight


Mr. Peepers grumbled.  35 minutes?!?  He was going to have to wait 35 minutes, suspended to the giant wall charger before he could even access the power of his new costume!  He'd gone through so much already, like the escape from the Pittians in town and his flight on the back of bird man Birdy Nok Nok!  It also had been no easy task to get through that ridiculous maze that he didn't create on his way to the Tinkerer's lab!  This giant wall charger was just another stupid step in Glademus' insane stipulations that had begun with Peepers' "Gray Experience."  Peepers was beginning to think the costume had no power at all, and the whole thing was just a cruel prank Glademus was playing on him after Peepers took his Whitespace power and used it to create his own universe!

Peepers looked down at the wrist screen within his sleeve.  10 minutes had past, so he wouldn't have to wait that much longer.

Suddenly, he heard a sound coming from the maze.  Peepers looked over to see Choo Choo Andrews stumble into the lab!  The railroad man was looking worse for wear, after his flying collision with the two robots!

"Peepers!  I...got you...now!"  Andrews slowly made his way towards Peepers.

"Choo Choo look terrible!  Did he get run over by train?  Oh wait--he is train!  Glademus give you power and make you go WOOT WOOT like little train engine!"

Choo Choo growled.  "Why you--!  I oughta...koff koff!"  Andrews waved his hand in the air to clear out the smoke that came out of his mouth.

"Choo Choo really should give up smoking!  It bad for you!"  Peepers giggled.

"Lissen here, Young Man!  Don you go insultin' your elders!  I been on the railroad a long time and I could prob'ly teach ya a thing or two!"

"Yes it true!  Age of Choo Choo is one reason Peepers bring him to his Peepers' Pitt!  Choo Choo have much experience and live long time!  How old you now...75?"

"Hey!"  Choo Choo gathered himself up and made his way towards Peepers.  Peepers squirmed a little, but waited to for Choo Choo to get close.  He then kicked the railroad man backwards with his two feet!  Choo Choo fell down on his behind!

"Dammit!  Ya done knocked me on my backside, but I ain't done with ya yet!"  Choo Choo then stumbled over to Peepers again and attempted to slap him!  Peepers blocked it with his arm!

"Choo Choo forgetful!  Just because Peepers' back affixed to wall, it not mean he not able to use arms and legs!"  Peepers then poked Choo Choo in the eyes and pushed him back.

"Stay away from Peepers!  He not like close contact with someone who smell like coal!"

Choo Choo shook off the poke and then glared at Peepers with a smile.  "It don' matter!  Don' gotta fight ya!  All I gotta do is wait here until the other Pittians arrive and then we've won!  Glademus said if we caught you then he'd send us all home!  Don' look like you goin' anywhere for a while!  How the hell ya get stuck to the wall like that anyway?"

Before he could answer, the sound of a jet engine was heard overhead.  Outside, the new jet built by the Pittians and the Mad Tinkerer had arrived!

NEXT:  SWEATER'S HOLD


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Shit Pitt--Story of the Sweater

Shit Pitt--The Sweater Story pt. 6 of 6:  Story of the Sweater

Monica awoke to find Clementine gone!  After their night of passion, the two had fallen asleep in her bed.  The last thing she remembered was Clementine's arms wrapped around her as they spooned.  She moved her arm and felt the empty pillow where Clementine had rested his head.  Monica sighed and suddenly realized something else.  They had both fallen asleep naked, so how was it that she was now wearing her bra and panties?  She got another surprise when she attempted to get up out of bed.  No matter how hard she tried, she could not lift herself up!  After a few moments she realized that her bra and panties were somehow holding her to the bed, as if they were attached to the mattress!  Monica could not figure out how this was possible.  She struggled and managed to slip out of her underwear.  With her legs free, she kicked and twisted but could not get her upper torso free from her bra.  She was unable to reach the back fasteners, since that area was pinned to the mattress by some unseen force!  Monica moved her bare legs and bottom in a futile kickfest that produced no results.

Mr. Clementine's eyes fluttered open to a blue-green world all around him.  The cool embrace of water pressed up against his skin, and he realized his whole body was adrift...underwater!  He gasped for breath only to have his mouth fill with salt water!  He was in the ocean again, and drowning, just like the day when Terrance the Pirate had forced him over the edge and down to the depths!  He'd never quite figured out how he'd survived that, and then to awaken on the island of Tutuila,  to the lovely sight of Monica, the Tutuilan native actress!  Monica!  He was in bed with her after their lovemaking!  How did he get here?  Clementine tried to hold what breath he had left and determined that he would once more escape his watery fate.  He attempted to swim upwards, towards what he thought was the light of the sky above him.  He assumed  it was morning from the look of things.  He swam towards it, but to his horror, the light was suddenly...shut off!  It was now pitch black where the light had been, and Clementine had to turn back because he could not see anything!  He retreated to the blue-green area and frantically looked for some sign of daylight elsewhere.  He began to panic as he could no longer hold his breath and prepared to breathe out and accept his fate.

Suddenly, a light appeared, but not from anywhere around him.  Clementine looked down to see he had his sweater on and it was now glowing red with energy!  In his confusion, he had not paid any attention to what he was wearing.  After his lovemaking with Monica, he really wasn't supposed to be wearing anything!  Yet there it was, glowing brighter and brighter with red energy.  Clementine grew frightened, wondering what was about to happen next.  The red energy grew to a climax and then seemed to explode out into the water!  Clementine was unharmed.  On the contrary, he had been saved!  A red bubble of energy now surrounded him.  He took a breath and realized there was air in the bubble!  Clementine sighed in relief and took a few moments to gather himself.

He could not rest long as the sweater suddenly forced Clementine's arms up and worked its way off of his body!  It then flew over to the other side of the bubble and floated in the air.

"Oh my God!  It's true!  My sweater!!  Y-you're alive?!"  Clementine was both astonished and puzzled that this sweater he'd had for years was now somehow acting on its own!

"H-how is this possible?"

The blue sweater glowed red again and suddenly two eyes and a mouth appeared in it.  It began a raspy laugh that chilled Clementine to the bone.

"Anything is possible for...SHITHEAD!"  The raspy voice that spoke from the sweater needed no introduction.  It was clear that it was the Demon of Defecation, Shithead!  Clementine's heart sank in horror as it brought back memories of him being a servant of Shithead, as one of the Shitlings!

"Hello Clementine!"  the raspy voice of Shithead seemed to fill the whole bubble with fear.  Clementine had to force himself to find the words to interact with him.

"But you're dead!  The Rebellion killed you!"

Shithead laughed yet again.  "Oh you mean when Betram ate me up?  He did get rid of me, yes, but he only sent me back to my home dimension!  My Shitworld is so much better than your little Pitt, but I rule everything here already, and I seek new places to conquer!  I have yet to fully take your dimension but despite my little...setback...I made sure I'd get another chance!"

"What do you mean?"  Clementine grew curious.

"Well, Betram didn't get all of me!  He didn't see the vestiges of myself that I left within your sweater and within the headpiece of the only Shitling to escape the Rebellion--Halabaad the terrorist!

"So that explains Peyton's Sweater story!"  Clementine exclaimed.  "My sweater isn't alive...it's just being animated by you!"

"Oh but it is alive!  It is very much sentinent, but it is still my servant!  I fashioned the Sweatershit to lie dormant until I got to you via Halabaad or if your life was at risk."

"When Terrance tried to drown you in the ocean, the Sweatershit activated on its own, and saved your life!  It has been acting independently ever since, though within my orders.  Due to it's limited power without my presence, it had to get creative.  It manipulated your new lady friend somewhat with a quickly-pushed bedroom distraction that allowed it to get you here!"

"You were supposed to free the other Shitlings once I activated your Sweatershit in the Cowboy's jail, but your pirate friend complicated things!  He certainly does hate you!  Took us a while to get to him but now...see for yourself!"

An image appeared next to the floating sweater.  In it Clementine saw Terrance the Pirate tied up on his pirate yacht, with Halabaad the Terrorist standing over him!

"I just let him know, through Halabaad, who's in charge!  Figured you might want to deal with him, once I arrive on Tutulia and make it possible for you to fully embrace the Sweatershit!"

"No!" Clementine protested.  "I won't serve you again!"

Shithead laughed.  "Oh, but you will!  I've taken steps to see that you do!"  The image then switched to show the half-naked Monica still fastened by her bra to her bed.  "The Sweatershit's interaction with Monica's undergarments gave them some power.  She is unable to move and quite trapped!  If you do not embrace the Sweatershit, I will have Halabaad go and eliminate her!"

Clementine sighed.  "Don't hurt her!!  I-I'll do what you ask!"

"Very good, Clementine!  I knew you'd see it my way!  It has been a long chase, but it will be over once I arrive with Halabaad on Tutuila!  You will embrace the Sweatershit and it will take total control of you!  Percy Clementine, my Shitling you were, and my Shitling you will be once again!"  Shithead then laughed as Clementine felt hopeless.



All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.



 


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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Peepers' Pitt--The Charger

Peepers' Pitt--A MAZE ing Adventure pt. 6 of 6:  The Charger

Mr. Peepers tore through the Tinker's Lab desperately looking for any sign of the charger for his new costume!  He rummaged through a tool box full of nuts, bolts, screws, and lots of mechanical parts with no luck.

"Where Glademus hide charger?  Peepers want it...NOW!"  He then looked up and scanned the room with his red glasses, which wasn't very helpful in the darkened lab.
Peepers  then saw something on the wall.  There was a schematic drawing of what appeared to be his costume, and below it, a machine with a lever.  Peepers closely studied the diagram and concluded that pulling the lever would reveal the charger!  He assumed that it would be something he could hold in his hand and plug into the costume...somewhere.  He ran his fingers along his costume in search a receptacle in which the charger could be plugged in, but couldn't find anything.  Frustrated, Peepers finally went ahead and pulled the lever!

The machine fired up and made a humming sound.  Around him, the walls of the lab seemed to be alive with energy!  The next instant, Peepers was aware of something happening at the back of his costume!  He reached back and felt two previously unseen projections coming out of the costume, around his shoulder blade area!  Peepers realized they were metal and from the shape of them, that they were life-sized electrical blades like that of an electrical plug!

"Charger not plug into costume!  Costume plug into charger, evidently!  Peepers have bad feeling about this!"

Suddenly, the whirring sound of moving machinery came from the wall.  A panel slid away to reveal a two-slotted socket that matched Peepers' costume blades.  Peepers gasped as magnetic force suddenly pulled him backwards!  The costume then automatically plugged into the wall socket, with Peepers held there against the wall!
A small screen then appeared on the wrist of Peepers' costume sleeve, that read...COSTUME CHARGING...TIME TO FULL CHARGE:  35 MINUTES.

NEXT:  THE STORY OF THE SWEATER


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Shit Pitt--Fashion Fling

Shit Pitt--The Sweater Story pt. 5 of 6:  Fashion Fling

"Oh Percy you were so great!"  Monica put her arm around Clementine as they walked back to her trailer after a long day of filming Child Castaways.

"Thanks Monica."  Clementine responded to Monica's sudden embrace with awkwardness at first, but a smile formed on his face as he became more comfortable with it.  She slid her arm around his back in a slight hug, and then pulled it back and around his arm.  A few moments later and she was holding hands with him.  Clementine felt a tingle of love and a surge of lust as his thoughts began racing about holding the beautiful Monica in his arms and having his way with her.  She'd made it pretty obvious that she was interested in him.  Clementine could feel that it was just a matter of time, and that that time could be fast approaching!

Upon arriving at her trailer, the two walked in.  Clementine sat down on the couch while Monica once again slid out of her clothes!  She lifted the traditional Tutulian dress costume over her head, revealing her spandex shorts and top.  She then sat down beside Percy, who wore a white t-shirt and shorts.

"Percy, you really did do great today!  You're great with the kids and you execute your lines so much better than Fred!"  She placed a hand on his leg.

"Well, I just did my best.  I'm not a big-time actor"  Clementine humbly stated.

Monica's eyes glistened.  "But you could be!  Percy, this movie could be your big break!  Aww you're so modest!  I like that about a man."

She then smiled and cut her eyes sexily at him.  "Percy, I --

"Yes Monica?"  Clementine looked into her eyes and almost got lost in the beauty.

We've only known each other for a short while, but I want you to know that I really enjoy your company."  She was then silent for a few awkward moments.

Percy spoke up.  "I enjoy being with you too, Monica!  Great working with you out there!"  Clementine then mentally kicked himself for saying something so stupid.  It was clear she wanted him but he kept messing it up!

"Oh."  Monica's smile faded and then brightened up again, but only slightly.  "I enjoy...working...with you too."  She then got up from the couch.

"Um...I guess I better go take a shower."  She then walked into her bedroom.  Clementine got up and followed, but before he could say anything, he saw Monica standing in her bedroom and looking at her undergarments spread out on the bed!  She seemed a bit concerned at first, but then she got a huge smile on her face!  She turned to Percy, walked over and kissed him!"

"Monica...mmff,"  Clementine struggled to get the words out as Monica's passionate kisses overtook him.  His words were taken out of his mouth but there was no more need to communicate since it was clear that now was the time for action!


Monica backed away from him for a moment to lift her shirt and reveal her lovely Tutulian breasts, which left Clementine stunned!  She then lay back on the bed and Clementine joined her.  Clementine wondered why Monica had been staring at all her intimate items on the bed but didn't think it was unusual for them to be there since  women are always trying on and taking things off in search of the right outfit to wear.  The only thoughts on his mind now were those of lovemaking as he got on top of Monica and met her passion with his own in a heated entanglement that left them oblivious to the world around them.

In a corner behind them, Mr. Clementine's sweater rose up and floated.


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.


 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay



Also available on Ebay...X-Men the Movie What ifs...Rachel Summers
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