Pitt Report: Shit Pitt--Betram meets the Turkey Man

Shit Pitt--Shit War pt. 19.5 of 20 : Betram meets the Turkey Man

Betram Bunny laid down on his bed and prepared to go to sleep. The Bisexual Bunny who was always looking for love had finally been relieved of the huge stomach upset he experienced from eating Shithead! Originally, Betram had brought the Demon of Defecation into the Shit Pitt (as it became known) by reciting from a book of Leprechaun magic while using the toilet! So it was his duty to return Shithead to his world the same way he had entered--through Betram's ass! Things had gone wrong though, and there was concern that Betram would pass Shithead and he would be reborn! Resident magician, Johnny Pizazz, then stepped in and opened up a portal inside Betram that sent Shithead back to his home dimension.*

With his stomach one more at peace, Betram could focus on the other part of his body that had problems--his face! Horribly disfigured by the evil Dr. Dyson, Betram's face was still an odd mass of stretched skin and fur. Betram felt sadness as he lay on his bed and thought about his looks. How would anyone ever love him with a face like the one he had? He began to cry as he drifted off to sleep. Suddenly, Betram was aware of a strange noise outside his window. He listened closely with his bunny ears and identified the sound as an "erk erk erk" noise. He dismissed it some of the Cowboy's chickens running around, but it was already dark out and they should all be roosting for the night.

ERK ERK ERK ERK came the noise as it got louder and seemed to be getting closer.

ERK ERK ERK GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA

Betram rose up in his bed at the familar sound.

"Ahu ahu" Betram giggled. "That sounds like a turkey!"

ERK ERK ERK GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA TAP TAP

Betram looked towards his window towards the tapping sound just in time to see a turkey shaped head with beak tapping the window!

"Ohh it is a turkey ahu ahu! Didn't know the Cowboy had any! Maybe he needs a good shooin' to send him off ta bed ahu ahu!"

Before Betram could move, the turkey began tapping the window harder and harder with its beak in between "goolas" and "erks!" The tapping got so fast and violent that the glass began to break. Betram was horrified! What was wrong with this turkey?

"Go away! ahu ahu! You got the wrong guy! I'm a bunny rabbit! I don't eat meat and I don't even like Thanksgiving!"

Betram's cries went unheeded, and with one last "goola goola" the turkey cracked a hole in the window and then broke the whole thing by throwing it's body through it! It came crashing into Betram's room screeching and puffing it feathers up like some dominant beast! Betram looked closer to see something was not right with this turkey. The Bisexual Bunny's eyes grew big as he saw that on each side of the turkey, where the feathers are, that there were also two manlike arms! This Turkey "Man" then turned its attention to Betram! It stared at him for a moment before leaping up into the air and landing on his bed!

"Oh no! Don't huwt me! I'm just a silly bunny man! ahu ahu," Betram pleaded.

The Turkey Man let out another erk erk erk that changed into something sounding like a scream. Betram tried to hide under the covers, but could not take his eyes off the horror before him! The Turkey Man** appeared to be struggling with something. He erked and pranced around a bit and then squatted and screamed repeatedly. Finally the whole frightening scene ended with a

SPLUTCH!

The Turkey Man then leapt off of Betram's bed and out the window, leaving behind a large egg, coated with unknown body fluid and fecal matter. Betram just sat there in disbelief...

*Read http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2010/12/pitt-report-shit-in-betrams-stomach.html
**Origin of the Turkey Man http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com/2010/11/special-thanksgiving-story-turkey-man.html

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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