Wednesday, November 12, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Stardust Explains

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 6 of 6:  “Stardust Explains"


"STARDUST!!  You're the cause of all this!!"  Trodemus balled up his fists.

"Why, yes...I am responsible!  So happy you remembered me!"  Stardust floated in the air as he spread his dress out.

"Why? Why did you cause my financial fears?!?"

Stardust let out a girly giggle.  "Simple.  As proprietor of the New Ink Pitt, I like to keep things interesting!  This beautiful young man is in competition with Hands of Time and his Sh*t Pitt!"

Belinda stepped forward.  "Wait a minute...who or what are you?"

Stardust scoffed.  "Relax, girlfriend!  Take two steps back, and fix your hair!  I realize that you don't know me since you came here after I established the New Ink Pitt.  However, it was I that allowed you access here from the Sh*t Pitt.  You should be thankful I allowed you to reach your man!"

Belinda put her hands on her hips.  "What?  All I did was take a cab ride to where Troddie used to live.  Instead, I arrived at the Psychic Parlor of Doom!"

"Belinda...I was that cab driver...in a different form, or course!  I didn't like having you two separated, and when Trodemus got snatched by that dreadful Mr. Peepers, I knew I had to bring you here to my Pitt!"

Trodemus stepped up and stood beside Belinda.  "So now we know how Belinda got here, and we know all my misfortune was just for your entertainment!  Now you need to know something!  I am Trodemus, Prophet of Doom, and I demand that you put an end to this fear of financial woe and leave!"

Stardust shuffled his dress again, and brightly-colored sparks bounced from it.  "Umm...well...I can stop the whole haunting caused by the Book of Riches, since I created the whole thing, including the magical library!  However, I can't totally end your fear of financial woe!"

"Bah!  What do you mean?"  Trodemus glared up at Stardust.

"Well, you owe me.  I gave you the Psychic Parlor of Doom to stay in for a while, but I feel it's time you paid up if you want to continue living there!  So, you will have to pay me a fair price...say $250,000 to keep it!

NEXT:  THE PITT REPORT GOES ON HIATUS FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
RETURNS WEDNESDAY,  JANUARY 7, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 J Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Death of Finances

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 5 of 6:  “Death of Finances"


Trodemus and Belinda stood on the doorstep of the Psychic Parlor of Doom, confronted by Death!  The skeletal specter wore a green robe and floated above the ground.  The ghosts from the Book of Riches carried Trodemus' money to Death, where it turned to ash!

"Death! What are YOU doing here?"  Trodemus shouted up at him.

Death spoke in his gravelly voice. "Trodemus...I have come...to bring destruction to your finances!"

"What?!?"  Trodemus questioned.  "You told me back at the haunted house that you were not responsible for the ruination of my business!"

Death cackled uncontrollably.  He then stared down at Trodemus with his eyeless skull.  "I lied!  Yet, Death is not responsible!"

"How can you not be responsible?!?  You just said you were!"

Death pulled his green cowl over his head.  He then lowered his head as his body vibrated.  "Death is not...but I am!!!"

His vibrating body began to somehow shoot off sparks of different colored lights.  He had become a living firework!  Then, the lights faded, and the vibrating stopped.  Death was gone, and in his place was...STARDUST!

NEXT:  STARDUST EXPLAINS
WEDNESDAY,  NOVEMBER 12, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Book's End

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 4 of 6:  “Book's End” 


"BAH!" Trodemus bellowed at the Book of Riches as he set it on fire with a match!  "The Prophet of Doom will not be toyed with by this book!  If it will not plainly state how to undo my financial fears, then I will UNDO the book!!"

Trodemus laughed as the book began to burn on a metal table outside the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  Belinda walked up and watched for a few moments as the book somehow began to reverse the burning until the flame was snuffed out!

Trodemus' eyes grew big as the Book of Riches appeared untouched by the fire.  "How is this possible?!?"  He then went and got some lighter fluid and doused the book down and once more lit it on fire.  The fire blazed higher than before, but after a few moments, the Book of Riches reduced and then snuffed out the flames!

Trodemus was seething!  If the book could not be destroyed, then what could he do?  He tried to rip out the pages, but they would not tear!  Ghosts began to fly out of the book again, and they raced into the psychic parlor.  A few moments later, a loud thud was heard from inside.  Trodemus and Belinda got there just in time to see Trodemus' safe open, and all his money flying out!  The ghosts seemed to be carrying the money as it traveled through the air.

"No!  Put that back!  Trodemus, Prophet of Doom commands you!!"  The ghosts flew up over his head towards the open doorway of the Psychic Parlor.  Trodemus and Belinda followed them outside, but were stopped in their tracks by the appearance of Death!

NEXT:  DEATH OF FINANCES
WEDNESDAY,  NOVEMBER 5, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Pretzel Play

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 3 of 6:  “Pretzel Play” 


"What is this...'Pretzel' ?!?"  Trodemus had asked.  Now, as Belinda lifted one large leg up over his head in an effort to put her foot on a circle drawn on the floor in front of him, he had no more questions!

"Sorry, Troddie."  Belinda frowned as her leg went over the back of Trodemus' head.  He was face down to her, with his hands and feet on different circles drawn below him.

"Ah Belinda...it is fine!  Wish I was face up to you right now though!  The fun we'd have!"  Belinda giggled as her plump inner thigh slid slowly across Trodemus' head.

Trodemus sighed.  According to the Book of Riches, 'Pretzel' was the only way to undo the fear of financial woe created by Belinda's 24-Hour Riches at the Doorstep ceremony.  Trodemus wished there was an easier way as he remembered the rules, which stated:

" 'Pretzel' is a game of agility.  It requires the drawing of several rows of circles on the floor where players place their hands and feet during the competition.  A 'referee' calls out random numbers that correspond to the circles.  Players position their hands and feet on different circles until they become tied up like a pretzel.  The first person to fall is the loser."

The Potbellied Ninja acted as the referee, but seemed to be more interested in a cupcake he was eating between call outs.  He got distracted while eating, causing Trodemus and Belinda to have to balance themselves longer.  Trodemus got upset and kept yelling at the Ninja to hurry it up.  The next number called required Trodemus to stretch one leg even further out from his cloak.  He groaned a bit.

"You okay, Troddie?"
"Y-yes Belinda.  It is just that...the Prophet of Doom is not known for his stretches."
Belinda smirked.  "No, but you do well at stretching...other things."  Belinda giggled.
"Yes," Trodemus smiled.  "I am very good at that!  Have to do more of that type of stretching later!"

The Ninja called out another number, and Belinda's thigh slid further down Trodemus' head, until her crotch rested right on top!

"OOO TRODDIE!"

Before Trodemus could react, Belinda started to move around on his head.

"Belinda, what are you doing?"  Trodemus frowned a bit.  He enjoyed giving Belinda pleasure, but being on all fours while she rode the back of his head was not the most comfortable way to do so!
"It-It's okay...ahh...Troddie.  J-just keep your h-head still mmm!" Belinda began to get more excited and was putting more weight on her man.  Trodemus arm's and legs tensed up, and he feared he'd lose his balance as well as the game!

"Belinda, stop!"  Trodemus looked over to see the camera crew, still filming them for the reality show Trodemus: Seeker of Specters.  He knew that they couldn't give away such intimate action on a simple reality show!

"This is a reality show, not a porno!"  Belinda didn't listen.  She was just too caught up in the ecstasy as she moved faster and with more weight applied.  "BELINDA!"  Belinda leaned over a bit, and when she did, they both went crashing to the floor!

"Oww..."  Trodemus groaned.
"OH TRODDIE! I'm so sorry!  I just got so carried away, and it felt SO GOOD!  I didn't mean to hurt you!"  Belinda crawled off of her man and helped him up.

"It is okay, Belinda.  The pain was worth it to see you happy, and to see these ghosts gone!"  Trodemus looked around.  "What is this?!?  Ninja!  What does the book say?  Why has playing 'Pretzel' not sent my financial fears, and these ghosts away?!?"

The Potbellied Ninja looked in the Book of Riches once more, and found a new sentence below the paragraph about undoing the financial woe.  It stated that, before starting the game of Pretzel, all players must tie pink ribbons in their hair and put on colorful wigs!

NEXT:  BOOK'S END
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Reversing the Woe

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 2 of 6:  “Reversing the Woe” 

"Bah! This makes no sense!"  Trodemus grasped the Book of Riches tightly.  "I did not receive the dough the book mentions!  Belinda did!  Why is it that I have been cursed with the fear of financial woe?!?"  Trodemus looked over to Belinda for an explanation.  Belinda shrugged her shoulders, but then realized something.

"Well...I did use some of the money to redecorate." Belinda smiled shamefully.
"What?" Trodemus frowned.
"Yeah you've seen the upstairs bathroom.  Those black shower curtains were so drab!  The red ones are much better!"
Trodemus sighed.  "Belinda..."
"Troddie, I didn't know!  I guess you did benefit from the dough, though!"

Trodemus stared into the Book of Riches once more, and swatted at the ghosts that flew out of it.  He thought for a moment, and came up with an idea.

"Well, if this curse was brought upon me by the words of this book, then perhaps the words of this book can reverse the woe!  There must be something in here to counter it!"

Trodemus searched the book frantically, and finally found an index in the back.  He looked under the topic, "financial woe, undoing."  Belinda mentioned that she had read the entire book before, but had not seen any index.  Trodemus quickly turned to the page and found a whole paragraph on how to reverse the fear of financial woe.  The paragraph stated that the best way to reverse it was to give the money back.  Trodemus groaned, because he knew Belinda had spent the entire $1,000 well before he'd come back from his absence.  The paragraph offered one more way to correct things if the money was already gone.  It involved reciting another line about riches, while playing a game of "Pretzel..."

NEXT:  PRETZEL PLAY
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Casting Blame

New Ink Pitt--Misfortune of Doom pt. 1 of 6:  “Casting Blame” 

Trodemus Blames Belinda!


"So that's what happened, Troddie."  Belinda stood in the Study of Doom with Trodemus.
"I'm sorry.  I didn't know that The Book of Riches was responsible for this haunting of your finances, or that what I did...would make it happen!"

Trodemus sat behind his desk, in a plush leather chair.  "I know, Belinda.  You said that there was no mention in the book about this...ceremony...you performed having any negative effects at all.  Yet, you received an envelope with $1,000 within 24 hours at our doorstep!  Such things do not normally happen, and should have given you cause for concern!"

Belinda frowned.  "Troddie...you were gone, and we weren't sure if you were coming back.  I knew that without you there was no fortune telling business, and no income!"

"Why didn't you find a job?"  Trodemus looked sternly at Belinda, which was a rare thing.

Belinda crossed her arms, looking offended.  "Troddie, I was a guest in your house!  It wasn't my responsibility to go find a job!  If anyone needed to get a job, it was the Ninja, who ate nearly everything in the kitchen in the first week!  Glad you returned the following week, because $1,000 would have vanished fast with that appetite!"

"The Potbellied Ninja does work...for me!  He earns his salary as my servant!"

Belinda huffed.  "What does that even mean?  Does he give you back rubs? Does he do all the other things only I do for you?"

Trodemus suddenly smiled.  "Well...he really doesn't look that good in a corset! Ha!  Belinda, I'm sorry.  You were desperate to find me or survive.  I understand that now.  Besides, I can't stay mad at my big beautiful lady who inspires all my greatest visions!"

Belinda smiled mischievously.  "ALL of your visions?"
Trodemus nodded.  "All the greatest ones!"
"Mmm I like that.  Can't stay mad at you either, Troddie!"  Belinda then walked over to Trodemus' desk and climbed up on top!  "Let's make up for our fight, and for all the lost time running around today with the camera crew!"

Belinda was about to kiss Trodemus when the Ninja burst in with The Book of Riches, which was once more open and releasing ghosts!

"Master!  I cannot close book anymore, but something happen on the page Belinda read from!  It has new message that may explain what transpire here!"

The Ninja set the book down on Trodemus' desk and they were able to read the words, "to whoever receives the dough, to them will also come the fear of financial woe."

NEXT:  REVERSING THE WOE
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Reciting for Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 4 of 4:  “Reciting for Riches” 

Belinda Disrobes!

Belinda removed the black robe of Trodemus.  It slid from her voluptuous body and crumpled into a heap on the floor.  She stood there naked, in all her big, beautiful glory!  Belinda smiled.  She liked the idea of being naked in Trodemus' room, but without him there, it was less fun!

Belinda looked at the space of floor she'd cleared for the ceremony.  The Book of Riches required only an area that was big enough for the seeker to kneel down in front of a candle and the finances they currently had.  Belinda, however, needed a bit more space than the average seeker!  Her only finance was the dress she'd worn upon arriving at the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  She kneeled down before the candle and her dress in preparation for the ceremony.

The Book of Riches stated that in order to receive "riches at your doorstep in 24 hours," one must perform a ceremony wherein they recite some words over whatever finances they have.  Belinda opened up the book to find the words she had to say again.  She quickly found the section, but then noticed that there was actually more she had to do before reciting the words.  Belinda was puzzled; because she didn't remember seeing this the last time she read that chapter.  It now required that the seeker, once naked, must do a series of stretches, and at the end of each stretch say things like "I'm beautiful" and "I'm wonderful."  Belinda sighed.  She was not looking forward to all this physical exercise.

Belinda reluctantly spread her legs out so she could sit on the floor.  She then began her naked stretching and positive statements, which was accompanied by groans of discomfort.  The Potbellied Ninja heard her, and wondered what she was doing.  He walked towards Trodemus' bedroom and cracked the door just enough to see the naked Belinda stretching!  The sight was just too much for the Ninja as his attraction to her caused him to momentarily take leave of his senses and barge into the room!  Belinda screamed and told him to leave.  He quickly left; embarrassed by his loss of discipline and the fact that Belinda did not have any interest in him romantically.  She would later tell him, "I don't date fat guys, Ninja!"  The Potbellied Ninja was puzzled by this, since she was a bbw!

Belinda returned to her ceremony, and hoped the stretches she'd done had been enough, since there was no way she'd do them again!  She then recited the words that The Book of Riches required, which were: "I wish to be rich; though I am poor...I say these words with the belief that I will receive riches at my door."  Belinda then put everything away and jumped in bed, hoping to receive riches within 24 hours!

The next night, exactly 24 hours from the time of the ceremony, the doorbell to the Psychic Parlor rang. Belinda answered the door to find an envelope filled with $1,000 dollars in cash!  While this did nothing to help her find her Troddie, it was sure to take her mind off of it!  What Belinda did not realize was that this magic book of riches was constantly changing, and after she received the money, a sentence appeared in the "Redeeming the Riches" chapter that stated "to whoever receives the dough, to them will also come the fear of financial woe."

NEXT:  CURSE ON DOOM
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 



Wednesday, September 24, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Redeeming the Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 3 of 4:  “Redeeming the Riches” 
Belinda & The Book of Riches


Belinda held the Book of Riches in her hands.  A smile formed on her face as hope of rescuing Trodemus returned.  The Book of Riches was the only book in the magic library with a title, which meant to Belinda that it was magic and contained some answer to Trodemus' situation!  The Potbellied Ninja agreed.

Belinda set the book down on a nearby table that was in the magic library.  She felt a draft as she leaned over, and realized once more that Trodemus' black robe she wore was open and showing her cleavage to the Potbellied Ninja.  She quickly gathered up the robe in one hand and made it tighter around her neck.  With her other hand, she opened up The Book of Riches.  

Belinda was excited about the possibility of the book being able to bring back Trodemus, but what enticed her even more was the title.  A book of riches was one read she couldn't pass up!  She admitted to herself that part of the reason she'd come back to Trodemus was for the financial support.  She needed a man who was financially successful like he was, so that she could have the finer things in life.  Trodemus gave her love, but his being a business owner gave her assurance!

The Potbellied Ninja had actually grown impatient, and put a hand on one of the pages of The Book of Riches to turn it.  Belinda quickly slapped his hand and told him to get back!  She turned the page herself and found a table of contents.  It seemed to be some sort of self-help book by an anonymous author.  The contents revealed nothing that would help Trodemus, but Belinda was transfixed since all the chapters were about getting money fast!  Belinda and the Ninja spent some time reading over the book.  The Ninja lost interest when he realized that there was nothing in it that could rescue Trodemus.  He left the library, and Belinda stayed behind as she continued to read.

Belinda finally found a chapter entitled "Redeeming the Riches," which set forth a specific way to obtain "riches at your doorstep" in 24 hours or less.  It involved a strange ceremony which required the seeker of the riches to strip naked and say some strange words over whatever finances they currently had.  The chapter promised that if one were to do this, then they would receive riches at their doorstep in 24 hours...or less!  Belinda's eyes grew big at the prospect.  She brushed it off as tomfoolery, but just in case, she took the book with her back to Trodemus' bedroom.  She lay in bed, tossing and turning over the idea of "riches at her doorstep."  Finally, she opened up the book again, and prepared to do exactly what it said...

NEXT:  RECITAL FOR RICHES
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Reading of Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 2 of 4:  “Reading of Riches” 

Books lined the walls of the hidden library in the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  The Potbellied Ninja was filled with joy!  Perhaps his search to find something to help Trodemus was not in vain after all.  Upon closer inspection, the Ninja confirmed that the library was physically real and not an illusion.  However, the physical space that it occupied shouldn't exist...at least not as the library.  That space should have included part of his room and Trodemus' room, since they both shared opposite sides of the same wall.  This library was a single room apart yet somehow between those two rooms.  The Potbellied Ninja decided the room had to be magical, and that somewhere in this library was a way to rescue Trodemus!

Potbellied Ninja then began to pull books off the shelves and look through them for some answer.  He was disappointed when he found that the books were blank, with no writing inside and no titles on the covers.  Potbellied Ninja would not give up hope though.  There were many books in the library, and he felt one of them had to have some content.  The Ninja feverishly searched the books page by page and threw the blanks onto the floor.

Belinda heard the noise from next door and got out of bed.  She walked out of Trodemus' room wearing one of his black robes.  It covered most of her body since it was 3 sizes too big for Trodemus.  It did not cover, of course, Belinda's cleavage,  which was clearly visible in the open front of the robe.  It appeared that Belinda had been sleeping in the nude, and was still nude underneath!  She walked towards the Ninja's room and saw the new doorway to the library.  She looked into the library and saw the Ninja on the floor with a pile of books.

"Ninja...what are you doing?"

The Potbellied Ninja turned to see Belinda, and her cleavage caught his attention for several moments.

"Well?  Where did...this...come from?"

The Ninja shook his head, breaking his fixation on her breasts.  He looked up at Belinda's face again.  "It magic library.  It appear when I thump against wall.  I search the Psychic Parlor for something to help my master and I find it."

"Wow!  A magic library!  Didn't know Troddie had this!"

The Ninja threw another blank book on the floor.  "I not know either.  All I know is that maybe it have magic book that have something to help rescue the master!  If I could only find one book that not blank!"

Belinda slowly made her way in, causing the Ninja's attention to turn once more to her breasts.  "Blank books? Who keeps a library full of blank books?"  Belinda realized that the Ninja was looking at her clevage.  She smiled a bit before pulling the robe closed over her chest.  "Well, let me help you look through these.  Gonna take you all night by yourself!"

Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja searched for hours, until they finally got to the last book.  Belinda took it from the shelf  and was astonished to see that this book had a title!  On the cover it read, The Book of Riches.

NEXT:  REDEEMING THE RICHES
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 



Wednesday, September 10, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Belinda & the Ninja

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 1 of 4:  “Belinda & the Ninja” 
The Ninja checks out Belinda!


Belinda gasped.  She was back at the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  Had the attempt to rescue the kidnapped Trodemus from Mr. Peepers' Whitespace failed?  Chief Blacktoes and his wife, Sunny, had used an Indian Transport Dance to get them there.  Belinda was reunited with her Trodemus for a brief instant before Mr. Peepers said that she should, "Go Fatty, GO!"  He then used his godlike power to return Belinda to the Psychic Parlor.

"That little geek Peepers better not harm my man!  The nerve of him...calling me fat!  I'm not fat...I'm pleasingly plump!"  Belinda ranted to the empty house.  She then wondered how Blacktoes, Sunny, the Potbellied Ninja, and the Dark Cat would fare against Peepers.  She felt confident that they would find some way to defeat Peepers and return Trodemus home!

Belinda's hope wavered when the Potbellied Ninja appeared, holding a frightened Dark Cat in his arms.

"B-Belinda?  What happen?  Peepers made ninja sword disappear!  I grab up Dark Cat and then I end up back here!!"  Potbellied Ninja had gotten a glimpse of the naked Sunny Big Breasts and was a bit distracted.  Peepers had made her stripper gear disappear at the same moment he had sent the Ninja and the Cat away.

"He sent you back, too?  Now our only hope lies with Blacktoes, my man, and that... ahem...hussy, Sunny!"  Belinda was hopeful.  Hours passed as Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja sat in the living room of the Psychic Parlor, waiting for the return of their friends.  Night fell, and they decided to retire to bed.  The Ninja showed Belinda to Trodemus' bedroom.  She walked in and did a little stretch that held the Ninja's attention.
Belinda knew he was watching despite being turned away from him.  She quickly turned around and caught him eyeing her.  She smiled sexily.

"Um...don't you have your own room?"
The Ninja struggled to find his words.  "Oh...yes...I.it down the hall!  I go now!"
"Wait," Belinda walked over to the Ninja.  "Why do you talk that way?"
"What way?"  The Ninja was confused.
"You're Asian, aren't you?"  Belinda questioned.
The Potbellied Ninja bowed his head humbly.  "Yes, I Japanese.  I trained in the Martial Arts like many Japanese people.  I use my skills to protect Master Trodemus, when he here."
Belinda shook her head in disbelief.  "Wasn't sure if you were Asian...wasn't sure if you were real at all, with that Kung Fu stereotype you do."
The Ninja looked even more confused.
"Never mind.  It's just that...I've never seen a...chubby ninja.  Seems kinda American to me!  I should know, because I'm not exactly a size 6!"  Belinda twisted her mouth in frustration when she realized the Ninja seemed to have no idea what she was talking about!
"Well, off to bed I guess.  Hopefully, I'll wake up to see my Troddie safe and sound in this bed with me!  Good night, Ninja."

"Good night, Belinda-san. Oyasuminasai."  The Ninja then walked out, closing the door behind him.  He moved towards his bedroom down the hall, but he could not rest.  It was his duty to serve and protect his master, Trodemus, and he would stop at nothing to find a way to rescue him!  He walked into his room and meditated between eating raisin cakes.  The Potbellied Ninja would need much fuel if he was to find an answer!

Finally, it occurred to him that perhaps Trodemus had something in the Psychic Parlor that could be of assistance.  The Ninja had witnessed the fortune-telling powers of Doom in the past, and felt that perhaps he had a crystal ball or some other talisman that could contact him!  He began to search the house, hoping Trodemus would forgive his intrusion into the more private areas such as the Study of Doom and the RestDoom (Trodemus' private bathroom).  He searched everywhere, but turned up nothing of importance.

Exhausted, the Ninja collapsed against the wall between Trodemus' room and his own.  He thumped against the wall once and slid his back down it into a seated position on the floor.  He then lightly banged his head against the wall twice in frustration.  There was a bright flash of light, and then the Ninja looked back to see that there was now an opening in the wall where he had rested!  It was a doorway, and inside was a library full of books!

NEXT:  READING OF RICHES
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Shit Pitt--Peyton's Predicament

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 6 of 6:  "Peyton's Predicament"
Peyton is up a tree!


Mr. Clementine walked out of Monica's trailer at sunrise to see if his sweater and pants were dry.  At the clothes line, he discovered that his sweater was missing!  He gathered his pants, and discussed the matter with Monica over breakfast.  They concluded that it was most likely the work of Peyton the problem child.  Monica vowed to make him confess between takes and get him to return the sweater.

Monica and Clementine arrived on the set later, and Clementine was given his own actor's chair along with the script to read.  He was set to do a reading of a scene that was very similar to his arrival on the island, with Monica as a native discovering Clementine and the children after being shipwrecked.  The child castaways in Child Castaways are not alone on an island, but are accompanied by their camp counselor, now played by Mr. Clementine!  Everyone was in place and in costume except for Peyton.  Jeffery the director sent someone to find him.  A quick search of his trailer and other areas of the set turned up nothing!  Then, a crew member who was taking a break out near the beach came running up to the set.  He asked if anyone had a ladder, because Peyton was stuck in a tree!

Mr. Clementine, Monica, Jeffery, and the children all ran out to the trees where Peyton was.  They found him as the crew member had stated...up in a tree!  The Problem Child was hanging from a branch and pitching a fit about his predicament!  Peyton was suspended from the tree by Mr. Clementine's missing sweater, which he now wore!

NEXT:  BELINDA & THE NINJA
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Shit Pitt--Monica's Status

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 5 of 6:  "Monica's Status"
Monica likes Clementine Shirtless!


A shirtless Mr. Clementine stood outside Monica's trailer. Having just hung his sweater on the line to dry, he was now trying to figure out what to do with his pants.  Monica then emerged from her trailer with some clothes in hand.  She smiled at the sight of the skinny white frame of Mr. Clementine.

"Oh!  I didn't know you were already getting undressed."  Monica's eyes flashed a different message as she turned away.  "Here are the clothes I promised."  She handed him some shorts and a t-shirt that were bought for the movie but never used.

"Thank you."  Clementine smiled.  "I think I'll go into these bushes and finish changing."

"You don't have to."  Monica looked directly at him again.  "You could finish in my trailer...um...in the bathroom.  Take a shower too, if you want."

Clementine agreed, and walked into the trailer with Monica.  Clementine noticed some pictures in the living room, but did not have time to ask about them, as Monica ushered him into the bathroom.  Clementine then removed his pants and took a shower.

Clementine walked out of the bathroom in his fresh clothes, to find Monica out of costume, and also in shorts and a t-shirt!  The "native islander" look had been replaced with a modern, girl next door appearance.  The only thing that marked Monica as being a bit exotic was her Samoan features.  She had let her long dark hair down, and appeared to Clementine as being twice as beautiful as when she wore that feathered headdress!

"Um, hello.  Who are you and where is Monica?"  Clementine joked and flirted simultaneously.

Monica smiled.  "Hi!  It's me!  This is what I look like when I'm not playing a tribal Samoan woman...ha!  You look quite different yourself!  Hardly recognized you without your Mr. Rogers sweater!"

Clementine laughed.  "Well it's a funny story...on my way to the land of make-believe...one of those damned puppets stole my sweater!"

Monica cracked up started rolling around on the couch where she reclined.  Once she caught her breath she said, "Oh, Percy, you are something else!  Do you have a woman that you make laugh like this on a regular basis?"

Clementine frowned a bit.  "Well, I was married once, but we had a difference of opinion and we divorced."

Monica looked concerned.  "A different opinion caused you to split?  Must’ve been something serious!"
Clementine sat down on the other side of the couch.  "My wife got into this religion that I wasn't particulary fond of.  It got so demanding that we decided a split was necessary."

"That sucks.  I've never been married, but I have a daughter."  Monica pointed to one of the pictures Clementine had seen before his shower.  "That's her.  She lives with me and my grandparents further inland.  Her father lives in the states and, beyond child support, has little to do with us.  I'm hoping that getting this movie role will help us financially."

"So how did you get hired on for Child Castaways?"  Clementine asked.

Monica brushed her long dark hair back.  "I answered a casting call for the movie when I found out they were shooting here in Tutuila!  Turns out, they needed lots of native people, and I got cast as female lead because I had the best native look.  Besides this, I've been an extra for a few low-budget films."

"Oh." Clementine sounded disappointed.

"What?" Monica questioned.  

"It's just that...for a new actress...you certainly had me fooled out there on the beach!  I really thought you were a native!"  Clementine laughed.

Monica smirked and smacked Clementine in the shoulder.  "Well I am a native, silly!  Not hard to play that!  I'm just not a savage, which is what you thought I was!"  The two laughed and talked a bit more before retiring to bed.  Clementine slept on the couch, while Monica, with eyes still full of desire, reluctantly told him goodnight as she made her way to her bedroom.  As night came, Clementine's sweater swayed in the ocean breeze for a few moments before disappearing from the line!


NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Shit Pitt--Working with Peyton

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 4 of 6:  “Working with Peyton”
Peyton is a PAIN!
 


Mr. Clementine cried out in agony!  Peyton was kicking him in the leg repeatedly as the muscular Monica struggled to pull him away!

"Peyton! Stop it! Now!"  Monica's demands were disregarded by the problem child as he went on kicking.

"C'mon Mister!  I wanna play!  C'mon Mister!"  Peyton giggled as Clementine fell to his knees.  "Aww, you're no fun Mister!"  Suddenly, Peyton felt himself being lifted up off the ground.  Monica had grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt and was raising him into the air!  She turned Peyton around and looked at him sternly.

"Peyton!  I told you not to act out!  Apologize to Mr. Clementine!  If you don't, I'm going to get Jeffery to remove you from the lead role and put Tommy in your place!"

"No!  You  can't tell me what to do!  You're not my mom!  Tommy can't play my role because he don't have no talent!"  Peyton frowned at Monica and crossed his arms.

"Peyton..." Monica spoke slowly, with just a bit of anger in her voice.  "I want you to apologize to Mr. Clementine NOW!"

Peyton stared at the angry face of Monica for a few moments.  The problem child felt a tinge of fear and finally agreed.  Monica then lowered him to the ground.

Peyton walked over to Clementine, who was getting up off his knees.  "I'm sorry, Mister.  It won't happen again!  Wanna shake on it?"  Peyton held out his hand.  Clementine put one hand forward and Peyton bit it!  Clementine screamed in pain as Peyton ran off into the woods, laughing.

Monica shook her head, then went over to help Clementine up.

"Sorry about that."  Monica frowned.

"It's okay.  At least I didn't get burned!"  Clementine supported himself on the strong arm of Monica as he rose to his feet.

"So, do you think you can deal with him?

Clementine thought for a moment.  "I've dealt with some difficult children, but Peyton really is a bit much!"  Monica laughed as Clementine smirked.

"I like the boy though."

Monica looked puzzled.  "REALLY?  Peyton is VERY difficult to like.  Sometimes, I just want to give him a good spanking!"

"Peyton is no exception.  Just give me time."

"Sounds good!  I like you, Percy.  You seem like a nice man.  You can stay in my trailer tonight if you like."

Clementine was caught off-guard.  Monica had suddenly warmed up to him!  "Oh, uh...I dont' know if I should..."

"It's okay, Percy!  It's not like we'll be sleeping together or anything!" She laughed as her eyes lit up slightly with desire.  "We do need to get those wet clothes off of you first!"  She smirked at Clementine, who blushed a bit.

"You can hang that sweater of yours on the line outside my trailer.  I have some other clothes that might fit you in the meantime."  Percy and Monica then walked from the set and towards Monica's trailer. Percy would later remove his sweater and place it on the line to dry along with his pants.  The sweater swayed in the ocean breeze until nightfall.

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Shit Pitt--On the Set

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 3 of 6:  “On the Set” 
Peyton, Child Actor

Mr. Clementine was taken by Monica to the Child Castaways set, which was only a half mile from where Clementine had washed onto shore.  Clementine was checked out by the medics on the set and was found to be perfectly fine.  This meant Monica, who seemed to be growing fond of Clementine, could introduce him to the director and push the idea of Clementine stepping into the lead role of Child Castaways.

Monica took Clementine by the arm, and walked him to where the crew was cleaning up the set after the day of filming.  Clementine had noticed Monica's muscular arms before, but now as she grasped him tightly, he truly felt her strength!  He became caught up in lustful thoughts of her exotic beauty as they walked through the set.

Monica squeezed Clementine's arm tighter, almost as if she knew what thoughts he had been thinking.  Clementine nearly let out an "ouch" at the force of the squeeze.

"Percy?  Did you hear what I said?"

Clementine shook his head, wakening himself from his fantasy to see the director of Child Castaways standing right in front of them.  He was a rather tall man, who wore an apathetic stare.  He stood with both hands on his hips, waiting for Percy Clementine to answer.

"Um, I-I'm sorry Monica.  I was lost in my thoughts."

Monica smiled.  "It's okay.  This is Jeffery, the director."

Clementine then shook Jeffery's hand.  "My name is Percy Clementine.  I starred in a kid's show back in my hometown, on public access TV."

Jeffery frowned.  "Ok...and what does that have to do with me?"

Monica reached over and touched Jeffery on the shoulder.  "Jeffery.  I was thinking that Percy could try a few scenes...and maybe...if Fred isn't able to come back...he could take the lead role!"

"Well... I dunno.  Fred woudn't like it, but I don't see how he's gonna get back here...not after he got burned."  Jeffery shook his head in disbelief.  He then looked over at Clementine.   "Tell ya what, I-I'll give ya a shot at it.  If you're good with kids and umm, well...you'll be fine.  We'll start in the morning at 7 A.M."  Jeffery then turned and walked to his trailer without another word.

Clementine was a concerned.  "Monica, what happened to Fred?"

Monica looked down with a sad look on her face, then back up after gathering a huge smile.  "Well, Fred does his own stunts, and he kinda got too close to Peyton during one of the action scenes."

"Who's Peyton?"
"Peyton is the lead child actor of Child Castaways."  Monica sighed.  "How do I put this?  Peyton can be a bit difficult to deal with.  Sometimes, when he doesn't get his way, he um...acts out."

"What did he do?" Clementine searched Monica's face for the answer she seemed to be avoiding.

"Peyton brought a butane lighter onto the set, and during one of the scenes, he thew it into the campfire.  Fred was too close when the fire sparked up and burnt him badly."

At that moment, Clementine felt something tap him on the back.  He turned to see a little boy in jeans and a t-shirt facing him.

"Hi, I'm Peyton!"

NEXT:  WORKING WITH PEYTON
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Shit Pitt--Clementine Cast

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 2 of 6:  “Clementine Cast” 
Mr. Clementine to star in Child Castaways?


Monica, the Samoan lead actress for the Child Castaways movie, stood up, pulling Mr. Clementine off the ground with her.  Clementine was astonished to see that she was a foot taller than him.  She was also more muscular than the skinny Clementine, with the powerful arms and legs of an athlete!  Her strength was evident, but it did not subtract one bit from her overall sexiness.   Monica had beautiful eyes, luscious lips, and was endowed in all the right places.  Clementine was both intimidated and interested in the exotic woman.

"So what's your name and how'd you get out there in the ocean?"

Clementine knew he couldn't tell her about the Pirate trying to kill him because of his service to Sh*thead.  "My name is Percy.  I...was on a cruise ship and fell overboard.  I don't...remember what happened after I hit the water.  Maybe the impact knocked me unconscious?"

Monica frowned.  "Oh Percy, I'm so sorry!  You may need more medical attention!  We have medics on set that can check you out."

"That...sounds good.  Thank you.  So, Monica, what is this movie about?"  Clementine walked beside Monica from the beach and towards the trees.

Monica smiled.  "Isn't it obvious?  Child Castaways is about some shipwrecked children living on an island.  Separated from their parents, they are forced to form their own society."

Clementine smirked.  "I think I read a book like that before.  I'm sure you've heard of Lord of the Fl--"

"Stop!  We're not allowed to mention that story!  The director doesn't want people to realize he used that as source material!"  Monica rolled her eyes.  "So it's not an original idea, but what is these days?"

"I can attest to that." Clementine stated.  "I used to have a children's show and my character was patterned after a certain famous character on educational television."

Monica's eyes grew big and she placed a hand on Clementine's shoulder.  "Wait!  You were on TV?!?"

Clementine shook his head.  "Well, yes.  I had two shows on public access TV in my area.  I don't suppose you've heard of The Clementine Show or Percy's Playtime, have you?"

Monica shook her head in ignorance. "No, but I can do an online search!"  She then pulled a mobile phone with a touch screen from her dress.

Clementine laughed.  "Hey, you're breaking character!"

"It's okay.  We've stopped filming for the day, because our lead actor hurt himself doing a stunt.  If he's not better in a few days, we may have to find a replacement.  I just finished a scene and was taking a walk on the beach when I found you.  Looks like I also found your Wahpedia page!"  Monica read over the information about Mr. Clementine's TV series.

"Oh wow, you had a great show going!  So, what happened with that?"

"Well, there were some contract issues and I chose to leave.  I got hired on by a new director for a...reality show...for a while."  Clementine was referring to his "employment" by Sh*thead.  "Having finished my role, I decided to go on a cruise to...where did you say this was again?  My head isn't quite right yet after that fall."

Monica looked concerned. "Tutuila, in American Samoa.  We need to get you checked out.  The set is just through these trees."

"HEY!  I just had an idea!"  Monica stopped walking.  If you're feeling well after the medics check you out, maybe the director will considering casting you in the lead role for Child Castaways!"

NEXT:  ON THE SET
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Shit Pitt--Sweater's Save

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 1 of 6:  “Sweater's Save”
Clementine meets Monica on the Island of Tutulia!
 


“YARRRRRR!!”  Terrance the Pirate growled with fury as he pushed the point of his sword blade into the back of storyteller, Percy Clementine.  Clementine was forced to walk the plank from Terrance’s ship to what was to be his watery grave below.  He stood precariously on the end of the plank with his arms bound by a heavy rope.  Another poke of the sword later, and Clementine fell to ocean water below.  Clementine’s screams rose up, until he finally sank into the water.  After a few minutes of silence, Terrance the pirate was satisfied, and sailed away.

Clementine sank downwards under the water.  He attempted to hold his breath, but he knew at some point he would run out of air.  When he could not hold it anymore and he succumbed to the water, he felt his consciousness fade as visions of happier times came to mind.  If this was to be his end, at least he'd die happy in his thoughts.  Clementine then blacked out.  The blue-green water of the ocean swirled around his dark blue sweater.  Suddenly, something stirred the water around Clementine's body.  The sweater began to change from blue to a dark red hue.  Energy began to emanate from it, and it burned through the ropes that held Clementine.  It then propelled him upwards and out of the water!  Energy from the sweater then pushed Clementine towards a nearby island where he washed on shore, still unconscious.  Clementine's sweater then returned to its normal dark-blue color and appeared to be wet from the ocean.

A young dark-skinned woman who was dressed like a native found Clementine.  She ran up to him, and realizing his predicament, quickly gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!  Clementine coughed up water and vomited a few moments later, as he awoke to see the beautiful woman before him.  After regaining himself, Clementine questioned the woman.

"W-where am I?  H-how'd I get out of the water?"
The woman responded.  "You're on the island of Tutuila, and you washed up on shore.  I gave you mouth-to-mouth and saved you!"

Clementine smiled.  "Thank you.  I thought I was gone for sure!  What's your name?  Wait...how did you know how to save me?  I mean you're dressed like a..."

"A savage?"  The woman laughed.  "I am a native of Tutuila, but I'm no savage!  My name is Monica, and you've stumbled onto the set of a movie!"

Clementine looked embarrassed.  "Oh...I'm sorry.  I misjudged you.  It's just with that outfit and all you...well..." Clementine looked the woman over for the first time.  Her tanned brown body and Samoan features were very beautiful and Clementine felt a bit intimidated.

Monica smirked.  "It's okay.  I get that from men all the time!  Let me help you up, and I'll take you to the director.  I'm the lead actress in Child Castaways."

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE CAST
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

New Ink Pitt--The Library

New Ink Pitt--Seeker of Specters pt. 6 of 6:  “The Library”
Potbellied Ninja & the Library
Ghosts!  The Psychic Parlor of Doom was filled with ghosts!  Resembling the original white-sheeted ghost that had been haunting Trodemus, the ghosts darted randomly around the lobby.  Trodemus walked in, followed by Belinda and the camera crew.

“Why have you specters invaded the Psychic Parlor of Doom?  Do you seek to destroy the remaining profits of Doom?”  When there was no answer, Trodemus prepared to make his way through the ghosts to his office to check his fireproof safe.

“Master!  Wait!”  It was the Potbellied Ninja, servant of Doom.  He walked down the staircase from upstairs, holding a large book.  Out of the book flew more ghosts!

“Ninja!  What are you doing?”

“Master, it this book!  It cause of everything!”  The Potbellied Ninja stretched forward to hand the book to Trodemus, and some Twinkies fell out of his martial arts outfit.

“What are you talking about?  What is this book and why is it releasing ghosts into the psychic parlor?”

Potbellied Ninja held the book closer to Trodemus, who was reluctant to take it.  “This book, or rather, a spell in it, cause your problems!”  Several more ghosts flew out once he finished his sentence.  He then closed the book, and all the ghosts disappeared!  Ninja smiled.  “See?”

Trodemus knows nothing of any spell book!  He has nothing of the sort!  The Prophet of Doom has no need of magic, as his powers are from within!  Where did you get it? Certainly not in the Psychic Parlor!”

Potbellied Ninja frowned.  “But, Master!  I find it in the library!”

Trodemus looked stunned.  “What library?  The Psychic Parlor of Doom has no library! There is no money in clients wandering around and reading books for free!”

Potbellied Ninja signalled for Trodemus, Belinda, and the camera crew to follow him upstairs.  The Ninja led them down the hall past Trodemus’ and Belinda’s room.

“Bah!  Where is this library? There is nothing here but a wall!”  The Potbellied Ninja then went over and tapped the middle of the wall three times.  There was a bright flash of light that caused everyone to shield their eyes.  When it was over, they looked to see a doorway in the middle of the wall!  Through the doorway was a huge library filled with books!

“Here is library, Master!”

“How is this possible?  There are no secrets the Psychic Parlor of Doom holds that Trodemus, Prophet of Doom, does no know!”

Belinda put her hand on Trodemus’ shoulder.  There was a look of concern on her face.  “Troddie, that’s not entirely true.  The Ninja and I have something to tell you…”

NEXT:  SWEATER OF SHIT
WEDNESDAY, JULY 30, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Bingo Hall Investigation

New Ink Pitt--Seeker of Specters pt. 5 of 6:  “Bingo Hall Investigation”
Blacktoes & Sunny Big Breasts
 
Trodemus, Belinda, and the camera crew for TRODEMUS: SEEKER OF SPECTERS entered Chief Blacktoes’ bingo hall,  located within the same townhouse-style duplex as the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  Bright lights and all sorts of mechanical sounds bombarded their senses.  A look around revealed that the bingo hall had become a full-blown Las Vegas-style casino!  There were 3 walls of slot machines surrounding several tables for blackjack, craps, and roulette.  In the back, barely visible behind all the bright light, was Blacktoes’ wife, Sunny Big Breasts, pole dancing for some happy customers!

BELINDA--TRODEMUS’ ASSISTANT AND GIRLFRIEND
“My Troddie is all mad because he thinks Blacktoes had something to do with the haunting, but all I wanna do is go play the slots!”

“Bah!  Blacktoes has improved his business!  He finally learned that senior citizen Bingo night doesn’t pay the bills!  Yet, all this costs much to acquire.   Is it somehow at the expense of Trodemus?  Where is Blacktoes?  I demand to see him, now!!”

Trodemus was met by some vest-wearing bouncers who threatened to throw him out if he continued to demand things.  Before things could escalate, Blacktoes came from the back to greet Trodemus.  On his arm was his half-dressed stripper wife, Sunny Big Breasts!

“Trodemus!  Welcome to Chief Blacktoes’ Casino!  Are you here to try your fortune?”

Trodemus frowned.  “Try my fortune?’ I’m a fortune TELLER!  I don’t have to TRY at all!  I have seen the future, and I know what is to come!  What I didn’t see however, is the YOU are the cause of this “haunting” of Doom!

Blacktoes looked puzzled.   “Trodemus.  Of what do you speak?  I know nothing of this “haunting.”  The Indian spirits of my ancestors are at rest.  There is nothing supernatural here…unless you caused it!”

“Bah!  The Seeker of Specters demands that you admit the truth…that you are the one behind the “ghost” and the moving objects!  Confess that you wish to see the profits of Doom shrivel and fade so that you can add the psychic parlor to your casino!”

“Yeah!  Admit it, Blacktoes!”  Belinda stood next to Trodemus, with her hands on her hips and her breasts shoved forward beneath the prison of her tight corset.  “And who are you looking at, Pocahontas?”  Belinda cut her eyes at Sunny.

“Belinda, Trodemus, what my husband says is true.”  Sunny covered the bra and panties she was wearing with a blanket.  “We’ve been here at the casino ever since our return from Peepers’ Whitespace, working on our business.  Surely you’ve seen the constant traffic of customers to the casino?”

“Bah!  Trodemus does not believe it!  The Seeker of Specters thinks this casino would be the perfect front to hide the evidence of your manufactured ‘haunting!’  So tell us, Blacktoes, where did you hide your ghost?”

Suddenly, the casino went dark as the slot machines stopped working and the lights went out.  Trodemus asked Blacktoes if he forgot to pay the power bill.  Before he could answer, the white-sheeted ghost appeared in the air above them, visible to all!  The camera crew tried to film it, but it quickly darted away towards the door!  Trodemus and company ran outside after it, and saw it on the doorstep of the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  They chased it inside, but upon entering, they beheld a frightening sight!  The lobby of the Psychic Parlor of Doom was now filled with not one, but DOZENS of ghosts!

NEXT:  SEEKER OF SPECTRES  pt. 6--The Library
WEDNESDAY, JULY 23, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Return to the Haunted House of Doom

New Ink Pitt--Seeker of Specters pt. 4 of 6:  “Return to the Haunted House of Doom”
DEATH returns!
 

After the $100 bill burst into flames, Trodemus was distraught.  For the first time, he truly believed that the haunting could cause his business to fail!  Money catching fire was not a game, and Trodemus placed all the money he had in his psychic parlor in a fireproof safe.  He kept one $100 bill in his cloak to test at another former site of paranormal activity--the Haunted House of Doom!

Trodemus realized that the warnings of his business failing from his dream, the appearance of “Death,” and the message on the bathroom mirror all lined up with what the other paranormal events were targeting--his profits and the things he had bought with them.  While the particular wine glass that flew across the restaurant had not been purchased by Trodemus, their meal had been, and it seemed that was the target.  Trodemus also discovered the vibrator had been purchased secretly by Belinda, but with money he gave her from his profits.

Of all the profits and purchases so far, the Haunted House of Doom was the biggest, and had gathered the largest amount of paranormal activity during its run.  Perhaps it was the true nexus of this haunting of Doom!  Since the paranormal activity increased in intensity when greater profits of Doom were offered up, Trodemus felt that raising the $100 bill inside the Haunted House of Doom would either cause a cataclysmic destruction of his profits, or disprove any supernatural haunting of his finances.

The Haunted House of Doom was an old abandoned home that Trodemus had rented for a few weeks with his Psychic Parlor profits.  He had spent more money on it than anything else in his business (since they were given the Psychic Parlor rent-free, courtesy of Stardust), but he had made even more off of it as the Haunted House of Doom!  Trodemus walked through the front door, and was followed by Belinda, the Potbellied Ninja, and the camera crew for SEEKER OF SPECTRES.

BELINDA--TRODEMUS’ ASSISTANT AND GIRLFRIEND

“So we returned to the old Haunted House of Doom to check it out.  Luckily, the landlord had no current tenants, so we had free access to the place.”

TRODEMUS--SEEKER OF SPECTERS

“Yes, I will continue to hold this $100 bill up as we make our way through the house.  The Seeker of Specters knows what he is doing!”

The group made their way through the entire house with no occurrences, and the EMF meter was unable to pick up anything.  Finally, they reached the back door of the house, where Trodemus had first encountered the ghost…and DEATH!  They had appeared before Trodemus on the last night of the Haunted House of Doom, and Death warned Doom that his business would indeed fail.  Trodemus walked out the back door, then turned to look back at the house.  Suddenly, the $100 bill he held in his hand withered away and became dust!  Then a dark mist rose between Trodemus and the house and grew until Belinda, the Potbellied Ninja, and the camera crew was completely obscured from view.  Out of the dark mist came…DEATH!

“Bah!  Death! The Prophet of Doom knows you are the cause of all this!  What other entity would have such motivation to bring my livelihood to ruin?”

Death spoke in a gravelly voice.  “Trodemus.  I do not cause the ruination of your business!  I am simply here to direct you.  The Haunted House of Doom is not the source of the haunting.  It lies closer to home.  You must look at those who would stand to gain from your loss, and read things, line for line!”

“Death, you speak in riddles!  Trodemus demands to know what you mean!”

Death then turned, and faded away with the dark mist, leaving Trodemus with more questions.  What did Death mean?  Who would stand to gain from the loss of his business?  Then, Trodemus had an epiphany!  He ran back into the Haunted House of Doom.

“Troddie, what’s wrong?”

Trodemus frowned.  “Belinda, we have to go!  Everyone! Back to the Psychic Parlor of Doom at once!  I have discovered just who is the cause of all this!  Chief Blacktoes is about to get some visitors!”

NEXT:  SEEKER OF SPECTRES  pt. 5-- Bingo Parlor Investigation
WEDNESDAY, JULY 16, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental