Monday, June 18, 2012

Peepers' Pitt--Punker on the Run

Van Punker

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 8 of 20: “Punker on the Run ”

Previously in the Peepers’ Pitt 
Rock star Van Punker had just performed the concert of a lifetime…but for an audience that wasn’t even real!  Omnipotent Peepers had placed him in a park and given him a stage and an audience that existed only in his mind!  After the concert, Van Punker found some real drugs and alcohol Peepers had created out of thin air.  These were to test Punker and see if it was true rock stars crave drugs and alcohol.  A short time later, Omni Peepers had his answer, as Punker lay passed out from his consumption!  Peepers became bored with Punker, and decided to send him off to have some more fun!  When Punker ended up in the bed of Lucy, Number One Ho, it was rockin and rollin all night for the pair!  Rockin’ and Rollin’--until the next morning, when pimp, Jervas Clinkscales, demanded a penniless Punker pay up!

Van Punker ran naked out into the empty street.  His red mohawk whipped in the wind as he traveled quickly down the sidewalk.  Punker had exited Lucy’s room in such a hurry that he left his full-body spandex suit he had been wearing behind!  Lucy’s pimp, Jervas, wanted Punker to pay up for his night with Lucy, but the rock star had no money--not even in his spandex suit!  

Punker looked for a place to hide, and finally decided to cut into an alley.  His move happened just as Clinkscales came out the doorway of his building, so the pimp failed to see Punker’s escape.  The purple garbed pimp looked around the barren street with a sneer.

“Yoo can’t hide from me, Man!  I gon’ fine ya, and then you gon’ pay up fo that fine piece’a ass you had!”

Clinkscales tapped his cane on the pavement as he walked along the sidewalk.  Lucy, Clinkscales “Number One Ho,” came running out of the building after him.  She grasped Jervas’ coat sleeve gently, getting him to turn and face her.

“Don’ hurt him, Jervas! He was kinda cute, an’ he made it more than five minutes with me!”  Ain’t many clients can satisfy me like he did!”

SMACK!  Jervas slapped Lucy right across the face, nearly knocking her down!

“Stupid ho!  Yoo wuzn’t suppozed to do no favors for clients I didn’t sen’ you!  Whut I wan’ know is, how in de hell he got up in yo room without me knowin’!”

Lucy rubbed her face and looked up at Clinkscales with a frightened glance.
“I dunno how he got there! I just opened my eyes and he was in my bed!  We started kissin’…and then one thing led to another!”

“Yoo is a dumb ho for sure!  Wun kiss from a man and yoo gets all weak-kneed and fall in love…Hos aint supposed to kiss or fall in love!  They’s supposed to f*#@!!  And most of all…HOS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE MONEY!”

With that, an angry Clinkscales grabbed Lucy by the arm and pulled her close.  He then began repeatedly slapping her!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Peepers Pitt--Previously...

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew: “Previously...”

The CRUNCH was a universe-altering event that caused the destruction of the original Ink Pitt. Prior to the end, Mr. Peepers, along with his friends and enemies all escaped to a pocket universe known as the WHITESPACE. The Whitespace was a temporary place that could only be occupied for a short time. Eventually, the refugees of the Ink Pitt found their way into a new universe called the Sh*t Pitt. Mr. Peepers did not come through before the Whitespace ceased to exist, and was thought to be dead. Mr. Peepers did not die however, as he absorbed the energies of the Whitespace into himself, and became godlike! The infamous peeping tom gained omnipotent power and became the Preeminent Peeper! Upon his return, the newly-omnipotent Peepers toyed with his enemies such as Trodemus and the Hands of Time. He eventually became bored with this, and sought to gain the one thing he still lacked despite his great power--experience! In an effort to gain experience, Peepers created his own universe…his Peepers’ Pitt, and populated it with a group of strange individuals he could observe! Those individuals include:

 Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo
 Birdy Nok Nok, a bird man
Railroad man Choo Choo Andrews
Rock star Van Punker
Kamola, a fat Asian lady
A scientist known as the Mad Tinkerer and his robot creation
Charlie Decaye, a pumpkin-headed census worker from another world
Jervas Clinkscales, a pimp
Lucy, Jervas’ #1 ho
Boris, a Russian solider
The EMT Man, a mental patient with “EMT” stamped on his head

 Referred to as his “new crew,” these individuals were originally split up by Omnipotent Peepers, and sent to different parts of the Peepers Pitt. Recently, they all found their way to a single location in a city. Omnipotent Peepers acted fast to split them up once more, pairing up different individuals in new locations for his viewing pleasure…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.