Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--From the Crunch to the Whitespace

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 2 of 3:  “From the Crunch to the Whitespace”

Mr. Peepers, upon his return, 
cloaked in the power 
of the Whitespace!

“So what is the CRUNCH, you ask?”  The voice of the shadowy figure continued to speak to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.

“The Crunch was indeed the destruction of the Ink Pitt, and it was caused by this toilet of destruction, but how it played out is what’s most important.  After Rufus the retard activated the toilet, individuals in the Ink Pitt started to simply disappear!  All was not lost, however.  Thanks to a visitor from an alternate reality, those who disappeared were spared by being shunted to a pocket universe known as the Whitespace!  Mr. Peepers would eventually end up there with all the other refugees from the Ink Pitt.”

Images of people from the Ink Pitt disappearing are visible on the glowing cloth floating next to the toilet.  The phenomenon of the Crunch is now clear to the individuals of the Peepers’ Pitt.

“Eventually, those in the Ink Pitt would find their way to a new universe known as the Shit Pitt, and the Whitespace would end.  Mr. Peepers was the exception.  When the Whitespace ended, folding in on itself, Peepers was trapped inside.  He was thought to be dead until he showed up again, wielding godlike powers!  Somehow, Mr. Peepers had absorbed the energies of the Whitespace, and had become near omnipotent!  After toying with old adversaries, he would become bored and go on to create this new “Whitespace,” that he dubbed his Peepers’ Pitt.  It was then that he would bring you all here for his personal amusement.”

The voice of the shadowy figure paused while more images of the “death” and return of Mr. Peepers played out before them on the glowing cloth.

“Now, armed with this information, you know what Mr. Peepers has become and where he gets his power.  In order to defeat him, you must also know who he was and still is beneath that power…”

WEDNESDAY, December 4, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Rufus & his Sweetie

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 1 of 3:  “Rufus & his Sweetie”
What does Rufus the Retard
 have to do with the Crunch?

“I see you doubt the power of this toilet!”  The shadowy figure that had rescued Humphrey and the others from exile spoke, but was nowhere to be seen.  However, a toilet and the glowing white cloth were visible to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.  The voice of the shadowy figure said the toilet was a device of destruction that caused an event called the Crunch.  This Crunch ended the universe known as the Ink Pitt.

  “This may look like what is referred to as a toilet and it is, but it is not just any toilet!  It is a toilet designed by a race of aliens who had interactions with a godlike being known as Tolyactemus.”  The glowing white cloth began to show images of the aliens and Tolyactemus on it.

  “Tolyactemus used that race of aliens and their slaves, the Inkeyes, to search out rare minerals in many universes.  The aliens would then extract the minerals to feed Tolyactemus’ hunger!  Tolyactemus and the aliens invaded the Ink Pitt, but were destroyed, leaving only one Inkeye and this toilet!  The toilet fell from their ship, and ended up being used accidentally by a most confused individual.”

The voice of the shadowy figure continued.  “This confused individual is known as Rufus the Retard.  Rufus, who is not the brightest person, found the device and mistook it for a regular toilet.  He also got confused about the normal use of a toilet, and kept it for weeks without using it, preferring to call it his sweetie and admiring it.  Eventually, Rufus did use the device, making ‘useful romance’ and activating it.  That is when the Crunch began.  Next, I shall tell you what happened during the Crunch, and how it involves Mr. Peepers…

NEXT:  From the Crunch to the Whitespace
WEDNESDAY, November 20, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Three-Man Battle

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 10 of 10:  “Three-Man Battle”

Just A Solider, Halabaad, and the EMT Man square off in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!

Mr. Peepers appeared in the Shit Pitt…as a floating head!  He partially materialized in an effort to display his power and shock his opponents.  He slipped up behind the Hands of Time as he sat on his hill.  Once he got right behind his head, Peepers spoke.

“PEEPERS SEE YOU,” came the shrill voice of the Preeminent Peeper.  Hands of Time nearly dropped his wacky weed as he jumped up from where he sat!

“What the hell?!?” Hands of Time screeched shockingly.

“Peepers has returned!  He display his might before you, to show that Peepers has escaped the boundaries of the physical form!  You cannot beat Peepers, Hands of Time, or Stardust!  You cannot beat Peepers’ representative either…the EMT Man!”  Peepers’ glasses flashed and the EMT man appeared, drooling and bouncing up and down, shirtless and wearing worn jeans.

Hands of Time and Stardust looked on in amazement at the bizarre EMT man.  The amazement didn’t last too long however, as Hands of Time took another puff of his giant wacky weed.

“Well…that certainly is one strange character ya got Mr. Peepers, but can your…EMT Man defeat…HALABAAD, THE T-SHIRT TERRORIST?”

Halabaad began to chant “Death to American clothing!  Death to Cotton!  Death to thread!  Death to t-shirts as robes are more natural!”

Stardust walked up with the dress-wearing Just A Solider.  “Ooo that is a mighty fine looking young man you have there, Mr. Peepers, but he doesn’t have to fight my solider, as we have no issue with him!  However, we do take issue with Halabaad insulting America and its fashions!”

Just A Solider then pushed past Stardust and got right in Halabaad’s face.

Just A Solider began crying and dropped to his knees.  Hands of Time, Halabaad, and Peepers looked on with confusion.  Only Stardust smiled.

“That’s my good solider…not afraid to show your feelings…love for your wife, even though she cheated on you…and love for your country!”  Stardust then crouched beside Just A Solider and whispered into his ear. “Just A Solider…not only is Halabaad a terrorist…I believe he was the one your wife cheated with!  Teach him a lesson!”

Just A Solider looked up, and his tears were visible, but his eyes were full of hate!  He jumped to his feet and in the same motion, punched Halabaad in the stomach!  Halabaad leaned over, clutching his guts as Just A Solider stood over him.  Halabaad then let out a “LALALALALALALALA” and jumped up and began a fist-fight with Just A Solider!

Peepers’ head floated, and a smile came across his face.  The two would beat each other to death and then a victory for the EMT Man would be certain!  This didn’t last long however, as Just A Solider and Halabaad would fall onto the ground with their struggle and roll right over the EMT Man’s exposed toes!  The EMT Man then let out a loud “AWWOOOO” and put Just A Solider in a choke hold!  He would hold him there for a moment, slobbering all over his helmet as Halabaad got in a few cheap punches.  The EMT Man got bored with this however, and let Just A Solider go, only to put Halabaad in a chokehold next!  Just A Solider and Halabaad would eventually team up and began pounding on the EMT Man, sending him crouching to the ground!  When they thought they had him beat, and turned away to continue their fist fight, the EMT Man sprang up and ran into both of them, sending all 3 men rolling down the hill!

Peepers, Hands of Time, and Stardust would all make their way down the hill to see the outcome.  They arrived to find the EMT Man standing and drooling over the unconscious bodies of Just A Solider and Halabaad!

WEDNESDAY, November 13, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental