Wednesday, February 25, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Interrogating Just A Solider

New Ink Pitt- Assassination Attempt pt. 3 of 12:  Interrogating Just A Solider
Officer Bates & Just A Solider!
 
Just a Solider stood at attention as Officer Rick Bates once more paced back and forth in front of him.  Over at Gaymerica’s bedside, Billy “Gay” wondered if Officer Bates was going to wear a hole into the floor with all the pacing.  Suddenly, Officer Bates stopped, and stared at Just A Solider through his sunglasses.  “Ok, solider, tell me what happened.”  Just A Solider’s eyes darted around in confusion.  He didn’t seem to know what to say.  Then he let out a “Sir, Yes Sir!  Shot the enemy Sir!  Took ‘em out for good! Mission accomplished sir!”  He then saluted Bates.  Bates reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a toothpick.  He then put it in his mouth and began to grit his teeth in frustration.  “Now, listen here, son.  This ain’t the military, and we ain’t in no war!  Stop fooling around or I’m gonna have to haul you in, like any other civilian!”  Just A Solider then squatted down really quick and put his hands out like he was holding a machine gun.  “Protect the civilians, Sir, Yes Sir!  Do my duty, serve my country and go home and kiss my wife!”  Bates just shook his head and kept his hand on his gun, which was in the holster.  He wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Just A Solider, and wanted to be prepared.  “Son, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?  Get your ass up here and answer my questions!  You’re not in a war!  You’re here with the Pussy Party, which means that, in addition to being crazy, you must also be gay!  Tell me why you shot the Fairy Princess over there!”  Gaymerica giggled at the reference to him again.  “Ooo Mister Bates, I would dress up like Tinkerbelle anytime for you!”  Bates just looked over at the bedridden Presidential Princess with a scowl.  “I’m not talkin’ to you, SO SHUT UP!”  Bates then turned back to Just A Solider, who was now missing from the spot he had been standing!  “Where is he?!? Where did he go?!?”  Bates then heard someone sobbing from the corner.  Bates’ toothpick fell out as his mouth opened wide in disbelief at what he saw.  Just A Solider was in the corner crying his eyes out!  One of the AmbASSadors was trying to console him.  Just A Solider talked craziness as he continued to blubber.  “My wife! Stella!  Was gonna go home!  Kiss the birdies and make them fly!  Didn’t make it!  Couldn’t protect you!”  Bates shook his head again.  “What a pathetic sight!   Guy has some serious issues!  Not gonna get a clear statement from him without some kinda psychiatric help!  That means he’s going downtown!”  Gaymerica protested.  “Mister Bates, how could you?!?  It’s clear this young man has problems and you’re just going to throw him in a cell to rot?  He needs help, and I’m the only one that has been doing that!”  Bates looked over at Gaymerica.  “Damn it, Fairy Princess, don’t you ever stop talking?  Not only do you dress like a woman, but you go on like one too!  So, you’ve been giving this guy psychiatric help, huh?”  Gaymerica smiled.  “Why yes!  In return for being my Secretary of Defense and my personal bodyguard, I’ve been helping Just A Solider through some lonely confused nights, if you know what I mean tee hee!!”  Bates frowned.  “I don’t wanna know.  Damn bunch of freaks.  You all deserve to be in prison!” With that, Bates motioned, and two other officers came in and took the sobbing solider away…

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT: INTERROGATING CRACKY
WEDNESDAY MARCH 4, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!










Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!




Wednesday, February 18, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Interrogations Begin

New Ink Pitt- Assassination Attempt pt. 2 of 12:  Interrogations Begin* 
Officer Bates is THE LAW!

     
Officer Rick Bates paced back and forth in front of Billy “Gay” Hydrick and the Gaymen.  They were all in the hospital room of the injured Presidential Princess Gaymerica, who had been shot in the arm by an unknown gunman.  Aside from his promise that he would capture whoever shot Gaymerica, Bates had said nothing.  He just continued to pace, stopping only every few seconds to stare intently at those present.  After about three minutes of pacing, Officer Bates stopped and addressed them.  “Now I want all of you to listen to me.  You need to realize that I am Officer Rick Bates, and I AM THE LAW!  I’m going to interrogate you all, and I want you to tell me the whole truth.  NO LIES!  If you lie, I WILL LOCK YOU UP!!” Gaymerica lay bandaged in his bed, and started giggling.  Bates heard him and turned quickly to see what he was laughing about.  “WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?”  Presidential Princess Gaymerica said, “Ooo I was just laughing about you locking people up.”  Bates leaned over Gaymerica’s bed and got right in his face.  “You think it’s funny to be locked up?”  Gaymerica smiled, “Oh no, Mister Bates!  I think it’s kinda kinky!  Maybe you should cuff me and take me downtown! Hehehe”    Billy “Gay” just rolled his eyes.  “Well maybe I will, Fairy Princess!!  Maybe my interrogation will start with you and your man-whore here!”  Billy “Gay” frowned.  “Hey!  I’m not a man whore, Rick!”  Officer Bates just glared at them both.  “What you do on your own time is not my problem, Billy.  I don’t care if you’re sucking off the Fairy Princess every night!  Doesn’t matter to me.  What does matter is finding out who shot him in the arm.  Right now, I’m thinking you two sick freaks are the perpetrators.”  Gaymerica gasped.  “What do you mean, Mister Bates?  Someone shot me!  I couldn’t shoot myself!”  Officer Bates stood up again.  “First of all, it’s Officer Bates!  Officer!  Not Rick and not Mister!  Maybe you and Billy G. here planned this whole thing.  In trying to get sympathy from the public, you decided you’d have someone shoot at you!”  Billy “Gay” looked at him in disbelief.  “I’m not that smart, but even I know that dudn’t make sense!”  Officer Bates gritted his teeth.  “Sure it does.  I’ve seen it a thousand times.  So how the hell did you do it?  One of your friends here in the Pussy Party must have pulled the trigger!”  Bates looked over at the Gaymen, consisting of the AmbASSadors and the Cabinet (Cracky, Just A Solider, and the French Phallus).  “So which one of you did it?  C’mon, c’mon spill it!”  In all the excitement, the out-of-his-mind Just A Solider suddenly just went off like a bomb.  He shouted, “Sir Yes Sir!”  as if Bates was his commanding officer.   Bates went over to him, pointing a finger of blame.  “So it was you!  Should have known!  Who else in this league of light-loafers would have the guts to even point a gun?  The ex-army solider!  At ease, son haha!  Me and you gonna have us a long talk…

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT:  INTERROGATING JUST A SOLIDER
WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 25, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!










Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!




Wednesday, February 11, 2015

New Ink Pitt--Who Shot Gaymerica?

New Ink Pitt- Assassination Attempt pt. 1 of 12:  Who Shot Gaymerica?* 
Manly Man Gaymerica wounded!

     
The Presidential Princess, Manly Man Gaymerica, lay sleeping in a hospital bed.  After the attempt on his life by an unknown gunman, Gaymerica had been rushed to an ambulance and driven to the emergency room.  Gaymerica woke to find his First Man, Billy “Gay” Hydrick at his side.  Behind Billy "Gay" stood Gaymerica’s Gaymen, consisting of his AmbASSadors (the other four versions of himself), and his Presidential closet (Just A Solider, Cracky, and the French Phallus).  The Presidential Princess smiled, realizing his friends were all here to support him.  He tried to lift himself up in the bed, but felt a sharp pain in his left arm.  Gaymerica groaned.  Billy “Gay” told him to lie back down and rest.  The bad news was that, yes, he had been shot, but the good news was that it was in the arm, and he would live.  Billy “Gay” told Gaymerica that he had been unsure of his condition at first, and accompanied the Presidential Princess in the ambulance.  Gaymerica smiled, thinking that now, in this time of crisis, perhaps Billy “Gay” would come out of the closet and finally become the Presidential Princess’ lover!  Billy “Gay” said that the important thing now was to find out who tried to kill Presidential Princess Gaymerica!  Billy “Gay” said he had found just the person for the job!  This person would be relentless in his pursuit of the assassin, and would not rest until he or she was brought to justice!  Suddenly, in walked Officer Rick Bates!  He said that they could rest assured that he would capture the perpetrator and make him or her pay!

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT:  INTERROGATIONS BEGIN
WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 18, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!


Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Peepers' Pitt--Lab Rats

Peepers’ Pitt--The Gray Experience pt. 6 of 6:  “Lab Rats"

Peepers arrives at the Tinkerer's Lab

Peepers flew through the air on the back of Birdy Nok Nok.  The hypnotized birdman carried them across the desert and the snowy plain of Peepers' Pitt.  At this rate, they would arrive at the Mad Tinker's lab shortly.  Then Peepers could find the charger for his new glasses and costume, and activate its powers!

Back in the city, Choo Choo Andrews had used his levitation power to follow Peepers and Birdy as they left.  However, his power was limited because he is only able to lift himself a few feet off the ground.  He could move forward rather quickly though, as he soon discovered.  He sped above the surface of the Peepers' Pitt at about the same speed of a locomotive, but with less noise!

Peepers and Birdy Nok Nok were closing in on their destination.  The Mad Tinker's lab was no visible at the end of the snowy plain.  Peepers grinned.  He commanded Birdy to land.  Peepers walked up to the doorway of the lab.  Since he had created it, he knew exactly how to get inside, even without his godlike power.  Peepers opened the door and entered the darkened hallway that led to the laboratory.

Peepers knew exactly where to go, or at least he thought he did.  Glademus had not told him exactly where the charger was or what it looked like.  He figured it would be somewhere in the lab though.  The hallway turned a corner, which Peepers did not recognize.  Then it turned another corner, which was also unfamilar to him!  Peepers continued on, and found that the path separated in two directions, which was not something he had designed in the lab when he created it!  The whole layout had changed and become a maze!  Peepers kept trying to find his way out, but the maze continued on.  He was trapped like a lab rat!

NEXT:  WHO SHOT GAYMERICA?
WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 11, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!