New Ink Pitt--Interrogating Just A Solider

New Ink Pitt- Assassination Attempt pt. 3 of 12:  Interrogating Just A Solider

Officer Bates & Just A Solider!

 Just a Solider stood at attention as Officer Rick Bates once more paced back and forth in front of him.  Over at Gaymerica’s bedside, Billy “Gay” wondered if Officer Bates was going to wear a hole into the floor with all the pacing.  Suddenly, Officer Bates stopped, and stared at Just A Solider through his sunglasses.  “Ok, solider, tell me what happened.”  Just A Solider’s eyes darted around in confusion.  He didn’t seem to know what to say.  Then he let out a “Sir, Yes Sir!  Shot the enemy Sir!  Took ‘em out for good! Mission accomplished sir!”  He then saluted Bates.  Bates reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a toothpick.  He then put it in his mouth and began to grit his teeth in frustration.  “Now, listen here, son.  This ain’t the military, and we ain’t in no war!  Stop fooling around or I’m gonna have to haul you in, like any other civilian!”  Just A Solider then squatted down really quick and put his hands out like he was holding a machine gun.  “Protect the civilians, Sir, Yes Sir!  Do my duty, serve my country and go home and kiss my wife!”  Bates just shook his head and kept his hand on his gun, which was in the holster.  He wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Just A Solider, and wanted to be prepared.  “Son, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?  Get your ass up here and answer my questions!  You’re not in a war!  You’re here with the Pussy Party, which means that, in addition to being crazy, you must also be gay!  Tell me why you shot the Fairy Princess over there!”  Gaymerica giggled at the reference to him again.  “Ooo Mister Bates, I would dress up like Tinkerbelle anytime for you!”  Bates just looked over at the bedridden Presidential Princess with a scowl.  “I’m not talkin’ to you, SO SHUT UP!”  Bates then turned back to Just A Solider, who was now missing from the spot he had been standing!  “Where is he?!? Where did he go?!?”  Bates then heard someone sobbing from the corner.  Bates’ toothpick fell out as his mouth opened wide in disbelief at what he saw.  Just A Solider was in the corner crying his eyes out!  One of the AmbASSadors was trying to console him.  Just A Solider talked craziness as he continued to blubber.  “My wife! Stella!  Was gonna go home!  Kiss the birdies and make them fly!  Didn’t make it!  Couldn’t protect you!”  Bates shook his head again.  “What a pathetic sight!   Guy has some serious issues!  Not gonna get a clear statement from him without some kinda psychiatric help!  That means he’s going downtown!”  Gaymerica protested.  “Mister Bates, how could you?!?  It’s clear this young man has problems and you’re just going to throw him in a cell to rot?  He needs help, and I’m the only one that has been doing that!”  Bates looked over at Gaymerica.  “Damn it, Fairy Princess, don’t you ever stop talking?  Not only do you dress like a woman, but you go on like one too!  So, you’ve been giving this guy psychiatric help, huh?”  Gaymerica smiled.  “Why yes!  In return for being my Secretary of Defense and my personal bodyguard, I’ve been helping Just A Solider through some lonely confused nights, if you know what I mean tee hee!!”  Bates frowned.  “I don’t wanna know.  Damn bunch of freaks.  You all deserve to be in prison!” With that, Bates motioned, and two other officers came in and took the sobbing solider away…

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT: INTERROGATING CRACKY
WEDNESDAY MARCH 4, 2015

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are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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