Wednesday, September 24, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Redeeming the Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 3 of 4:  “Redeeming the Riches” 
Belinda & The Book of Riches


Belinda held the Book of Riches in her hands.  A smile formed on her face as hope of rescuing Trodemus returned.  The Book of Riches was the only book in the magic library with a title, which meant to Belinda that it was magic and contained some answer to Trodemus' situation!  The Potbellied Ninja agreed.

Belinda set the book down on a nearby table that was in the magic library.  She felt a draft as she leaned over, and realized once more that Trodemus' black robe she wore was open and showing her cleavage to the Potbellied Ninja.  She quickly gathered up the robe in one hand and made it tighter around her neck.  With her other hand, she opened up The Book of Riches.  

Belinda was excited about the possibility of the book being able to bring back Trodemus, but what enticed her even more was the title.  A book of riches was one read she couldn't pass up!  She admitted to herself that part of the reason she'd come back to Trodemus was for the financial support.  She needed a man who was financially successful like he was, so that she could have the finer things in life.  Trodemus gave her love, but his being a business owner gave her assurance!

The Potbellied Ninja had actually grown impatient, and put a hand on one of the pages of The Book of Riches to turn it.  Belinda quickly slapped his hand and told him to get back!  She turned the page herself and found a table of contents.  It seemed to be some sort of self-help book by an anonymous author.  The contents revealed nothing that would help Trodemus, but Belinda was transfixed since all the chapters were about getting money fast!  Belinda and the Ninja spent some time reading over the book.  The Ninja lost interest when he realized that there was nothing in it that could rescue Trodemus.  He left the library, and Belinda stayed behind as she continued to read.

Belinda finally found a chapter entitled "Redeeming the Riches," which set forth a specific way to obtain "riches at your doorstep" in 24 hours or less.  It involved a strange ceremony which required the seeker of the riches to strip naked and say some strange words over whatever finances they currently had.  The chapter promised that if one were to do this, then they would receive riches at their doorstep in 24 hours...or less!  Belinda's eyes grew big at the prospect.  She brushed it off as tomfoolery, but just in case, she took the book with her back to Trodemus' bedroom.  She lay in bed, tossing and turning over the idea of "riches at her doorstep."  Finally, she opened up the book again, and prepared to do exactly what it said...

NEXT:  RECITAL FOR RICHES
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Reading of Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 2 of 4:  “Reading of Riches” 

Books lined the walls of the hidden library in the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  The Potbellied Ninja was filled with joy!  Perhaps his search to find something to help Trodemus was not in vain after all.  Upon closer inspection, the Ninja confirmed that the library was physically real and not an illusion.  However, the physical space that it occupied shouldn't exist...at least not as the library.  That space should have included part of his room and Trodemus' room, since they both shared opposite sides of the same wall.  This library was a single room apart yet somehow between those two rooms.  The Potbellied Ninja decided the room had to be magical, and that somewhere in this library was a way to rescue Trodemus!

Potbellied Ninja then began to pull books off the shelves and look through them for some answer.  He was disappointed when he found that the books were blank, with no writing inside and no titles on the covers.  Potbellied Ninja would not give up hope though.  There were many books in the library, and he felt one of them had to have some content.  The Ninja feverishly searched the books page by page and threw the blanks onto the floor.

Belinda heard the noise from next door and got out of bed.  She walked out of Trodemus' room wearing one of his black robes.  It covered most of her body since it was 3 sizes too big for Trodemus.  It did not cover, of course, Belinda's cleavage,  which was clearly visible in the open front of the robe.  It appeared that Belinda had been sleeping in the nude, and was still nude underneath!  She walked towards the Ninja's room and saw the new doorway to the library.  She looked into the library and saw the Ninja on the floor with a pile of books.

"Ninja...what are you doing?"

The Potbellied Ninja turned to see Belinda, and her cleavage caught his attention for several moments.

"Well?  Where did...this...come from?"

The Ninja shook his head, breaking his fixation on her breasts.  He looked up at Belinda's face again.  "It magic library.  It appear when I thump against wall.  I search the Psychic Parlor for something to help my master and I find it."

"Wow!  A magic library!  Didn't know Troddie had this!"

The Ninja threw another blank book on the floor.  "I not know either.  All I know is that maybe it have magic book that have something to help rescue the master!  If I could only find one book that not blank!"

Belinda slowly made her way in, causing the Ninja's attention to turn once more to her breasts.  "Blank books? Who keeps a library full of blank books?"  Belinda realized that the Ninja was looking at her clevage.  She smiled a bit before pulling the robe closed over her chest.  "Well, let me help you look through these.  Gonna take you all night by yourself!"

Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja searched for hours, until they finally got to the last book.  Belinda took it from the shelf  and was astonished to see that this book had a title!  On the cover it read, The Book of Riches.

NEXT:  REDEEMING THE RICHES
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Click the picture to visit the store! 



Wednesday, September 10, 2014

New Ink Pitt--Belinda & the Ninja

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 1 of 4:  “Belinda & the Ninja” 
The Ninja checks out Belinda!


Belinda gasped.  She was back at the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  Had the attempt to rescue the kidnapped Trodemus from Mr. Peepers' Whitespace failed?  Chief Blacktoes and his wife, Sunny, had used an Indian Transport Dance to get them there.  Belinda was reunited with her Trodemus for a brief instant before Mr. Peepers said that she should, "Go Fatty, GO!"  He then used his godlike power to return Belinda to the Psychic Parlor.

"That little geek Peepers better not harm my man!  The nerve of him...calling me fat!  I'm not fat...I'm pleasingly plump!"  Belinda ranted to the empty house.  She then wondered how Blacktoes, Sunny, the Potbellied Ninja, and the Dark Cat would fare against Peepers.  She felt confident that they would find some way to defeat Peepers and return Trodemus home!

Belinda's hope wavered when the Potbellied Ninja appeared, holding a frightened Dark Cat in his arms.

"B-Belinda?  What happen?  Peepers made ninja sword disappear!  I grab up Dark Cat and then I end up back here!!"  Potbellied Ninja had gotten a glimpse of the naked Sunny Big Breasts and was a bit distracted.  Peepers had made her stripper gear disappear at the same moment he had sent the Ninja and the Cat away.

"He sent you back, too?  Now our only hope lies with Blacktoes, my man, and that... ahem...hussy, Sunny!"  Belinda was hopeful.  Hours passed as Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja sat in the living room of the Psychic Parlor, waiting for the return of their friends.  Night fell, and they decided to retire to bed.  The Ninja showed Belinda to Trodemus' bedroom.  She walked in and did a little stretch that held the Ninja's attention.
Belinda knew he was watching despite being turned away from him.  She quickly turned around and caught him eyeing her.  She smiled sexily.

"Um...don't you have your own room?"
The Ninja struggled to find his words.  "Oh...yes...I.it down the hall!  I go now!"
"Wait," Belinda walked over to the Ninja.  "Why do you talk that way?"
"What way?"  The Ninja was confused.
"You're Asian, aren't you?"  Belinda questioned.
The Potbellied Ninja bowed his head humbly.  "Yes, I Japanese.  I trained in the Martial Arts like many Japanese people.  I use my skills to protect Master Trodemus, when he here."
Belinda shook her head in disbelief.  "Wasn't sure if you were Asian...wasn't sure if you were real at all, with that Kung Fu stereotype you do."
The Ninja looked even more confused.
"Never mind.  It's just that...I've never seen a...chubby ninja.  Seems kinda American to me!  I should know, because I'm not exactly a size 6!"  Belinda twisted her mouth in frustration when she realized the Ninja seemed to have no idea what she was talking about!
"Well, off to bed I guess.  Hopefully, I'll wake up to see my Troddie safe and sound in this bed with me!  Good night, Ninja."

"Good night, Belinda-san. Oyasuminasai."  The Ninja then walked out, closing the door behind him.  He moved towards his bedroom down the hall, but he could not rest.  It was his duty to serve and protect his master, Trodemus, and he would stop at nothing to find a way to rescue him!  He walked into his room and meditated between eating raisin cakes.  The Potbellied Ninja would need much fuel if he was to find an answer!

Finally, it occurred to him that perhaps Trodemus had something in the Psychic Parlor that could be of assistance.  The Ninja had witnessed the fortune-telling powers of Doom in the past, and felt that perhaps he had a crystal ball or some other talisman that could contact him!  He began to search the house, hoping Trodemus would forgive his intrusion into the more private areas such as the Study of Doom and the RestDoom (Trodemus' private bathroom).  He searched everywhere, but turned up nothing of importance.

Exhausted, the Ninja collapsed against the wall between Trodemus' room and his own.  He thumped against the wall once and slid his back down it into a seated position on the floor.  He then lightly banged his head against the wall twice in frustration.  There was a bright flash of light, and then the Ninja looked back to see that there was now an opening in the wall where he had rested!  It was a doorway, and inside was a library full of books!

NEXT:  READING OF RICHES
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Shit Pitt--Peyton's Predicament

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 6 of 6:  "Peyton's Predicament"
Peyton is up a tree!


Mr. Clementine walked out of Monica's trailer at sunrise to see if his sweater and pants were dry.  At the clothes line, he discovered that his sweater was missing!  He gathered his pants, and discussed the matter with Monica over breakfast.  They concluded that it was most likely the work of Peyton the problem child.  Monica vowed to make him confess between takes and get him to return the sweater.

Monica and Clementine arrived on the set later, and Clementine was given his own actor's chair along with the script to read.  He was set to do a reading of a scene that was very similar to his arrival on the island, with Monica as a native discovering Clementine and the children after being shipwrecked.  The child castaways in Child Castaways are not alone on an island, but are accompanied by their camp counselor, now played by Mr. Clementine!  Everyone was in place and in costume except for Peyton.  Jeffery the director sent someone to find him.  A quick search of his trailer and other areas of the set turned up nothing!  Then, a crew member who was taking a break out near the beach came running up to the set.  He asked if anyone had a ladder, because Peyton was stuck in a tree!

Mr. Clementine, Monica, Jeffery, and the children all ran out to the trees where Peyton was.  They found him as the crew member had stated...up in a tree!  The Problem Child was hanging from a branch and pitching a fit about his predicament!  Peyton was suspended from the tree by Mr. Clementine's missing sweater, which he now wore!

NEXT:  BELINDA & THE NINJA
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental