Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Peepers' Pitt--Plans and Payment

Peepers’ Pitt--Stranded with Strangers pt. 2 of 12:  “Plans and Payment”
Trodemus' Cloak has turned green in the Peepers' Pitt!
Entertainment.  Mr. Peepers had transported Trodemus, Prophet of Doom and Johnny Pizzazz to his Peepers’ Pitt in order for them to provide entertainment and make his pitt the most “interesting and exciting” of the three pitts.

As the Prophet of Doom glared at Peepers with a disgruntled sneer on his face, it didn’t seem likely that he was in the mood to entertain.  Pizzazz on the other hand, stood with his legs wide apart in an active stance.  He smiled as if Peepers’ mention of entertainment was some higher calling.

“Yes!  Entertainment!  You have chosen the right men for the job!  Trodemus and I live to entertain, don’t we, Doom?”  Pizzazz put his arm around Doom and held his trademark microphone close for Trodemus to reply in it.  Trodemus’ eyes got big and his disgruntled frown melted into an uncomfortable frown.

“Get away from me!  Trodemus is not here to entertain!  He only has a psychic business to make money off of telling people bad news about their futures!  There is no money here, so there will be no performance on the Prophet of Doom’s part!”

The floating head of Mr. Peepers had been watching the unlikely pair in great enjoyment.  Trodemus and Doom were VERY entertaining, and the Preeminent Peeper couldn’t wait to unleash them upon the individuals in his Peepers’ Pitt!

“That is where you are wrong, Trodemus!  Peepers will pay you $1,000 if you make his pitt more exciting by turning your entertainment in the direction he chooses!”

Trodemus smiled a bit at the sound of getting paid, but then became grim once more.
“That sounds too good to be true, Peepers!  We are at your mercy here! How do we know that you will stand by your word?  You have no reason to honor it!”

Peepers smiled.  “You have to trust Peepers.  Besides…it can get very boring around here!  If you not entertain, you get bored too!  Just wait until you see sad people Peepers brought here!”

“What?!?  You have other people here?” Doom’s forehead furrowed.

“Yes,” Peepers said.  “Peepers have several people he bring here from other places.  They are sorry bunch!  Peepers need you to entertain through them by making them entertaining!”

“This sounds like a challenge!  Helping others become more exciting is the specialty of the Catalyst of Character!  Just look at what I did with the Optic Ink Eye!  I am ready, Peepers!  Show me the boring person, and Pizzazz will make him a star!”

“Hehe, Peepers like that!  He introduce you to protégés in moment!  But first, he make things more interesting, and insure Trodemus works just as hard as you.  Peepers will only give $1,000 to one of you!”

Doom sighed.  “I KNEW it!  I knew you wouldn’t be straight up with us!”

“Not to worry, Trodemus!  If you make protégé more interesting than Pizzazz then YOU win money!  It great challenge hehe!  Peepers think you need change!  He change your cloak so your attitude change!" Peepers pointed, and Doom's black cloak became green!

"There...it color of money!  Remind you to do your best!  Now, Peepers send you to your protégés!”
Before Doom could protest further, or react to his newly-colored cloak, the white light that transported them to the Peepers’ Pitt appeared again, causing them to vanish from where they stood.

NEXT:  PIZZAZZ MEETS HUMPHREY!
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2014!  
THE PITT REPORT NOW UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY


  • GET A 4-ISSUE SUBSCRIPTION TO THE PEEPER NEWSLETTER!  Featuring Mr. Peepers and company, as they visit, report on, and comically assault real locations and events!  Available in pdf format by email or in print by postal mail!  


Newsletter Versions


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Peepers' Pitt--Trodemus & Pizzazz...in Peepers' Pitt

Peepers’ Pitt--Stranded with Strangers pt. 1 of 12:  “Trodemus & Pizzazz…in Peepers‘ Pitt”

Trodemus, Prophet of Doom and Johnny Pizzazz appeared from a flash of white light in Peepers’ Pitt.  The pair were quite confused about their situation since they had no knowledge of the contest that had placed them there.

“Bah!  Where is the Prophet of Doom and what are YOU doing here?!?”

Johnny Pizzazz turned around to see Trodemus standing directly behind him.  “Trodemus!  I-I don’t’ know.  A moment ago I was with the Rosewood Cowboy and the others in the Shitt Pitt.  Something was wrong back at the Cowboy’s ranch!  The shitlings have escaped!”

“The Prophet of Doom knows nothing of the cowboy ranch or the shit placed there!  He only wants to know where he is now, and why he was so rudely removed from his daily visiting of Belinda’s vagina!”

Pizzazz glared at Doom.  “Trodemus, that…that is just too much information, and I don’t think it will help us here.  You do know what information will help us though?”

“What?” Doom glared back.  Pizzazz lifted his mic up over his head.

“If we realize that I’m the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic…JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!!!”

Doom rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “Trodemus does not wish to be a pessimist (since he’s usually so positive), but he doesn’t see that helping either!  Seriously, where are we and how the hell do we get out?!?

On that note, there was another flash of white light, and the floating head of Mr. Peepers appeared!

“Peepers see you, Trodemus of Doom and Johnny Pissass!”

“Should have known YOU were behind this!” Doom snorted.
Pizzazz cleared his throat.  “It’s Pizz--”  Peepers spoke over him.

“He has brought you here, to his Peepers’ Pitt, because he has work for his old enemy Trodemus and Johnny Pissass!”

“It’s Pizz--” Pizzazz tried again but was cut off.

“Peepers wants you to work in his Peepers’ Pitt to make it the most interesting and exciting of the 3 pitts!  He wants you to bring…entertainment!”

NEXT:  PLANS AND PAYMENT
CHECK OUT THE EBAY STORE...http://www.ebay.com/usr/crevicecreations


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Peepers' Pitt--Peepers Chooses

Peepers’ Pitt--Peepers’ Choice pt. 2 of 2:  “Peepers Chooses” 
Mr. Peepers’ victory in the Perfect Pitt Challenge (a contest which put a representative of each of the 3 pitt universes into battle) allowed him to take one individual from each of the two losing pitt universes into his Peepers’ Pitt.  Stardust of the New Ink Pitt and the Hands of Time of the Shit Pitt would now have to give Peepers whoever he wanted.

Peepers still appeared as a floating, disembodied head.  He hovered up and down in excitement at all the potential prospects he could bring into his Peepers’ Pitt.  There really were some interesting individuals in the other two pitts, and he hoped that introducing two of them into his own pitt would shake things up!

“Let’s see.  Who do Peepers want for his Peepers’ Pitt?  Hmm.  Peepers start with your pitt, Stardust!”

Stardust, the star-crossed cross dresser, still stood near his representative, Just A Solider, for fear Peepers would project another image of a sexy female (who, in Stardust’s mind, might try to make the solider more beautiful than he already was in his pink dress).

“Please don’t take my beautiful young man away, Mr. Peepers!  Just A Solider is still my pet project mmmmm!”

Peepers shook his floating head in disgust.  “Peepers not want solider who wear lady clothes!  Peepers want someone who is great!  He want the one person in your pitt who Peepers count as his greatest enemy!  Peepers want…TRODEMUS, PROPHET OF DOOM!”

Stardust sighed.  “That’s fine with me!  He never did thank me for giving him the Psychic Parlor of Doom upon his arrival in the New Ink Pitt!  I am better off without him!”  He then waved his hand, and Trodemus appeared!  The Prophet of Doom was quite startled, as he was naked except for his cloak, which only covered his head and the top of his chest!

Peepers turned away at the sight and yelled to Stardust to send him on to the Peepers’ Pitt, and to make sure he had pants when he got there!  Stardust laughed, and Trodemus disappeared.

Peepers then floated over to Hands of Time, who was still smoking his wacky weed.

“You know who Peepers want from you!”
Hands of Time’s face was blank.  “Who?”
“You know who!”  Peepers’ voice grew louder.
“I dunno.” Hands of Time stated.
“Stop it! Peepers not get in stupid argument with you while you high!  Peepers go ahead and tell you!  Peepers want the greatest entertainer possibly ever seen in all pitts (except for Peepers)!  Peepers want the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic!  He want JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!”

Hands of Time blew some smoke and Pizzazz appeared before being sent on to the Peepers Pitt.  Peepers smiled and disappeared, taking the EMT Man along with him.  Hands of Time, Stardust, Just A Solider, and Halabaad looked at each other for a moment before also disappearing!  In their place appeared the white cloth and the dark figure against it!  The white cloth moved and began to wrap itself around the figure until he was totally covered.  Only his mouth was visible.  A smile formed across his lips.


NEXT:  TRODEMUS & PIZZAZZ...IN PEEPERS' PITT!
WEDNESDAY, January 22, 2014!  
THE PITT REPORT NOW UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Peepers' Pitt--Recognizing Defeat

Peepers’ Pitt--Peepers’ Choice pt. 1 of 2:  “Recognizing Defeat” 

The EMT Man was victorious!  He had bested Just A Solider from the New Ink Pitt and Halabaad from the Shit Pitt to win the Perfect Pitt Challenge for Mr. Peepers and his Peepers’ Pitt!  The insane EMT Man didn’t seem to care though.  In fact, he didn’t even seem to realize he’d been in fight!  He just stood over the unconscious bodies of his opponents, drooling as his eyes darted aimlessly around.

The Hands of Time and Stardust came walking down the hill, followed by the floating head of Mr. Peepers.  Hands of Time and Stardust had lost, so now they would have to give over two members of their respective universes to Mr. Peepers.  Hands of Time pulled out a small wacky weed and smoked it as Halabaad regained consciousness.  Stardust ran to Just A Solider, but instead of helping him up, he took out a tube of lipstick and began to “make him beautiful” by giving him red lips!  Peepers realized the two were not taking their defeat seriously, and decided to remind them of the fact!  He buzzed around Hands of Time with his floating head, and produced flashes of light from his glasses to wake him from his wacky weed.  Once Hands of Time was alert again, Peepers projected an image of a naked lady from his glasses, right in front of Stardust!  Stardust jumped to his feet and yelled angrily at the image.

“Get out of here, Skank!  You can’t make my man here as beautiful as I can!  Shoo!”
Peepers removed the image, and Stardust turned around, realizing it was Mr. Peepers who was responsible.

“Now that Peepers have your attention, and you have recongnized your defeat, he want to remind you of your obligation to the winner--the winner being-- PEEPERS!”  Peepers’ head flew around in excitement.

“Peepers has won Perfect Pitt Challenge, and now he will select one individual from each of your universes to take to his Peepers’ Pitt!”

NEXT:  PEEPERS CHOOSES
WEDNESDAY, January 15, 2014!  
THE PITT REPORT NOW UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental