Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Who is Peepers?

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 3 of 3:  “Who is Peepers?”
Who is Mr. Peepers?

Those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales waited in anticipation for the voice of the shadowy figure to reveal exactly just who Mr. Peepers is.  They had learned of his godlike power, but now they were about to find out what Mr. Peepers is at the core of his being!

“Who is Mr. Peepers?” asked the voice of the shadowy figure, which seemed to come from the glowing white cloth that floated next to the toilet of destruction.

“You’re supposed to tell us!” came the gravely voice of the pumpkin-headed horror known as Charlie Decaye.  There was no reply for a few moments.  Humphrey the Hobo passed gas loudly, and tried to blame the bird man, Birdy Nok, who then blamed railroad man, Choo Choo Andrews.  Boris the Russian looked embarrassed, but mostly because he was remembering the wild time he’d had with Lucy, Jervas’ “Number One Ho.”  She stood behind him while Jervas watched to see if Boris did something with Lucy he could make money off of.  The EMT man squated in the corner, and Van Punker was sitting down with his guitar.

“Enough!” came the voice of the shadowy figure.  “It is not for you to tell me what to do!  However, I will answer the question posed.  Mr. Peepers, in his normal state, in his normal universe, is quite simply, a peeping tom!  He has said himself that he goes ‘from window to window, seeing what he can see.’  He is a pathetic creature who obviously cannot make it with any female, so he must get cheap thrills by watching random women undress!”

“You can use this knowledge to defeat Peepers in the Last Battle!  He has tried to create his own perfect woman, but has been unable to, despite having godlike powers.  You could offer him a woman, but I know there is only one among you, and Peepers deemed her to have a dirty hoo ha.”

Clinkscales got upset with that remark about Lucy, and threatened to attack the white cloth.  Charlie and Choo Choo held him back.

“So what can we do if we have no woman to tempt him with?” asked Choo Choo Andrews.

“That is for you to figure out.  I would suggest getting many porno magazines to distract him with!  Now, I must go, as I still have Peepers distracted using my own means.  My distraction will only last a short while longer.  In 3 days, your time will be up, and Peepers will be able to see what you’re doing again!  Farewell, and good luck!”

With that, the glowing cloth and toilet disappeared.

WEDNESDAY, January 8, 2014 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--From the Crunch to the Whitespace

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 2 of 3:  “From the Crunch to the Whitespace”

Mr. Peepers, upon his return, 
cloaked in the power 
of the Whitespace!

“So what is the CRUNCH, you ask?”  The voice of the shadowy figure continued to speak to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.

“The Crunch was indeed the destruction of the Ink Pitt, and it was caused by this toilet of destruction, but how it played out is what’s most important.  After Rufus the retard activated the toilet, individuals in the Ink Pitt started to simply disappear!  All was not lost, however.  Thanks to a visitor from an alternate reality, those who disappeared were spared by being shunted to a pocket universe known as the Whitespace!  Mr. Peepers would eventually end up there with all the other refugees from the Ink Pitt.”

Images of people from the Ink Pitt disappearing are visible on the glowing cloth floating next to the toilet.  The phenomenon of the Crunch is now clear to the individuals of the Peepers’ Pitt.

“Eventually, those in the Ink Pitt would find their way to a new universe known as the Shit Pitt, and the Whitespace would end.  Mr. Peepers was the exception.  When the Whitespace ended, folding in on itself, Peepers was trapped inside.  He was thought to be dead until he showed up again, wielding godlike powers!  Somehow, Mr. Peepers had absorbed the energies of the Whitespace, and had become near omnipotent!  After toying with old adversaries, he would become bored and go on to create this new “Whitespace,” that he dubbed his Peepers’ Pitt.  It was then that he would bring you all here for his personal amusement.”

The voice of the shadowy figure paused while more images of the “death” and return of Mr. Peepers played out before them on the glowing cloth.

“Now, armed with this information, you know what Mr. Peepers has become and where he gets his power.  In order to defeat him, you must also know who he was and still is beneath that power…”

WEDNESDAY, December 4, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Rufus & his Sweetie

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 1 of 3:  “Rufus & his Sweetie”
What does Rufus the Retard
 have to do with the Crunch?

“I see you doubt the power of this toilet!”  The shadowy figure that had rescued Humphrey and the others from exile spoke, but was nowhere to be seen.  However, a toilet and the glowing white cloth were visible to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.  The voice of the shadowy figure said the toilet was a device of destruction that caused an event called the Crunch.  This Crunch ended the universe known as the Ink Pitt.

  “This may look like what is referred to as a toilet and it is, but it is not just any toilet!  It is a toilet designed by a race of aliens who had interactions with a godlike being known as Tolyactemus.”  The glowing white cloth began to show images of the aliens and Tolyactemus on it.

  “Tolyactemus used that race of aliens and their slaves, the Inkeyes, to search out rare minerals in many universes.  The aliens would then extract the minerals to feed Tolyactemus’ hunger!  Tolyactemus and the aliens invaded the Ink Pitt, but were destroyed, leaving only one Inkeye and this toilet!  The toilet fell from their ship, and ended up being used accidentally by a most confused individual.”

The voice of the shadowy figure continued.  “This confused individual is known as Rufus the Retard.  Rufus, who is not the brightest person, found the device and mistook it for a regular toilet.  He also got confused about the normal use of a toilet, and kept it for weeks without using it, preferring to call it his sweetie and admiring it.  Eventually, Rufus did use the device, making ‘useful romance’ and activating it.  That is when the Crunch began.  Next, I shall tell you what happened during the Crunch, and how it involves Mr. Peepers…

NEXT:  From the Crunch to the Whitespace
WEDNESDAY, November 20, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Three-Man Battle

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 10 of 10:  “Three-Man Battle”

Just A Solider, Halabaad, and the EMT Man square off in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!

Mr. Peepers appeared in the Shit Pitt…as a floating head!  He partially materialized in an effort to display his power and shock his opponents.  He slipped up behind the Hands of Time as he sat on his hill.  Once he got right behind his head, Peepers spoke.

“PEEPERS SEE YOU,” came the shrill voice of the Preeminent Peeper.  Hands of Time nearly dropped his wacky weed as he jumped up from where he sat!

“What the hell?!?” Hands of Time screeched shockingly.

“Peepers has returned!  He display his might before you, to show that Peepers has escaped the boundaries of the physical form!  You cannot beat Peepers, Hands of Time, or Stardust!  You cannot beat Peepers’ representative either…the EMT Man!”  Peepers’ glasses flashed and the EMT man appeared, drooling and bouncing up and down, shirtless and wearing worn jeans.

Hands of Time and Stardust looked on in amazement at the bizarre EMT man.  The amazement didn’t last too long however, as Hands of Time took another puff of his giant wacky weed.

“Well…that certainly is one strange character ya got Mr. Peepers, but can your…EMT Man defeat…HALABAAD, THE T-SHIRT TERRORIST?”

Halabaad began to chant “Death to American clothing!  Death to Cotton!  Death to thread!  Death to t-shirts as robes are more natural!”

Stardust walked up with the dress-wearing Just A Solider.  “Ooo that is a mighty fine looking young man you have there, Mr. Peepers, but he doesn’t have to fight my solider, as we have no issue with him!  However, we do take issue with Halabaad insulting America and its fashions!”

Just A Solider then pushed past Stardust and got right in Halabaad’s face.

Just A Solider began crying and dropped to his knees.  Hands of Time, Halabaad, and Peepers looked on with confusion.  Only Stardust smiled.

“That’s my good solider…not afraid to show your feelings…love for your wife, even though she cheated on you…and love for your country!”  Stardust then crouched beside Just A Solider and whispered into his ear. “Just A Solider…not only is Halabaad a terrorist…I believe he was the one your wife cheated with!  Teach him a lesson!”

Just A Solider looked up, and his tears were visible, but his eyes were full of hate!  He jumped to his feet and in the same motion, punched Halabaad in the stomach!  Halabaad leaned over, clutching his guts as Just A Solider stood over him.  Halabaad then let out a “LALALALALALALALA” and jumped up and began a fist-fight with Just A Solider!

Peepers’ head floated, and a smile came across his face.  The two would beat each other to death and then a victory for the EMT Man would be certain!  This didn’t last long however, as Just A Solider and Halabaad would fall onto the ground with their struggle and roll right over the EMT Man’s exposed toes!  The EMT Man then let out a loud “AWWOOOO” and put Just A Solider in a choke hold!  He would hold him there for a moment, slobbering all over his helmet as Halabaad got in a few cheap punches.  The EMT Man got bored with this however, and let Just A Solider go, only to put Halabaad in a chokehold next!  Just A Solider and Halabaad would eventually team up and began pounding on the EMT Man, sending him crouching to the ground!  When they thought they had him beat, and turned away to continue their fist fight, the EMT Man sprang up and ran into both of them, sending all 3 men rolling down the hill!

Peepers, Hands of Time, and Stardust would all make their way down the hill to see the outcome.  They arrived to find the EMT Man standing and drooling over the unconscious bodies of Just A Solider and Halabaad!

WEDNESDAY, November 13, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Monday, October 28, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--The Challengers

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 9 of 10:  “The Challengers”
Peepers chooses the EMT Man for the challenge!

Mr. Peepers materialized in his Peepers Pitt once more, after his visit to Hands of Time in the Shit Pitt and Stardust in the New Ink Pitt.  Now that he had set the Perfect Pitt Challenge in motion, he had to act fast to pick the best representative from his pitt to do battle with those from the other two pitts.  Peepers knew exactly who he wanted for the job though.  The EMT Man would be perfect!

Peepers laughed to himself as he floated across the desert where he’d placed Charlie Decaye and the EMT Man.  The EMT man was perfect for the Perfect Pitt Challenge because he was truly insane!  Peepers, in his godlike state, could not figure him out, so how would any opponents have a chance?  The EMT man was pure unpredictability and madness, which had been proven when he put Charlie Decaye in a chokehold!  Peepers arrived to the spot where the pool of water was, and saw that the water had turned yellow!  The EMT Man had gone in the water!  Peepers laughed as Decaye kneeled down nearby, spitting out water he had drunk from the now peed-in pool.

As always, Peepers was invisible to those he peeped on, however, he was unaware that what he was seeing was an illusion!  The shadowy figure had somehow recreated Decaye and the EMT Man and hidden the fact that they were not real!  Peepers finished laughing at Decaye and then simply floated over to the EMT Man as his glasses glowed.  A moment later, and they were both gone from the desert!

Meanwhile, in the Shit Pitt, the Hands of Time sat on his hill, smoking his giant wacky weed and surrounded by the women in swimsuits.  He put one hand in the air, and someone came walking up the hill to him.  It was a man, wearing an Arabian-style headpiece. Hands of Time took a puff of his giant wacky weed and then stared seriously at the man.

“Tell me your name” Hands of Time spoke in a serious tone.
“I am Hala--” the man began, but was cut off by the Hands of Time.
“I know your name!”  He then took another puff.  “What is your name?”
The man look puzzled.  “My name is Hala--”  He was cut short again.
“No, no, no don’t tell me!!”  Hands of Time went from serious to silly.  He then took another puff.  “I know who you are but I forgot because…I’M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW! Go ahead and tell me your name anyway!

The man shook his head out of disbelief at the Hands of Time’s behavior and then said.
“I am Halabaad, the T-Shirt Terrorist!  Death to American clothing!”
And what is your mission?  Hands of Time took another puff.
“It is my sacred duty to crush my opponents in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!  I shall defeat them so that we may have a great victory!  So says Halabaad!!  LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALA!!”

Hands of Time smiled.  “Aww man I love that war cry!  Peepers ain’t gonna know what hit him!”

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and Stardust appeared, wearing his glittered dress getup from the runway show.  He was accompanied by Just A Solider, who wore a military jacket and helmet, but had on a pink dress in place of pants!

“Hands of Tiiiime” Stardust began, “So good to see such a beautiful young man as yourself once again!  We are here to answer Peepers’ challenge--my beautiful young man, Just A Solider, and I!”

 WEDNESDAY, November 6, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Cause of the Crunch

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 8 of 10:  “Cause of the Crunch”
and it's cause explained!

The familiar white cloth that had rescued Humphrey, Boris, Choo Choo, Birdy, Charlie and the EMT Man from exile had appeared once more!  This time though, it appeared in a quite unusual way--as a twisted wet cylinder emerging straight upwards from a…TOILET?!?

Jervas Clinkscales, Lucy--his number one ho, and Van Punker, along with the six individuals already mentioned stared in shock at the sight of the wet, white cloth as it floated upwards out a toilet that had appeared from nowhere, right in the middle of Clinkscales’ whorehouse!  Why was there a toilet, and what was about to happen?

Answers would come as the cloth completely cleared the toilet, and began to fan out.  It went from soaking wet to dry in about two seconds!  The cloth then formed a large rectangle and began to glow.  The voice of the shadowy figure was then heard.

“I promised you answers as to who Mr. Peepers was before he created this place, people he knew, and where he came from.  In learning who he was, you will begin to understand how he became godlike, and possibly discover how to defeat him."

“Not so long ago, there was another universe, called the Ink Pitt.  This was the universe Peepers originally came from.  It was populated by many unique individuals, not unlike yourselves.  One day however, a destructive device from outside the Ink Pitt would arrive, threatening to destroy that universe.  The destruction of the Ink Pitt became known as the CRUNCH, and the device was what you see here.”

The toilet was highlighted, and several people laughed.  How could a toilet be responsible for the death of a universe?

 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Guests in the Whorehouse

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 7 of 10:  “Guests in the Whorehouse”
The Glowing Toilet!

 After absorbing the energies from the dying pocket universe known as the WHITESPACE, Mr. Peepers the peeping tom became godlike!  Mr. Peepers used his godlike power to toy with his enemies.  In doing so, Peepers realized that, despite his godlike status, he still lacked an important factor…experience!

So, in an effort to gain experience, Peepers decided to create his own universe to counter the already-existing New Ink Pitt and Shit Pitt.  Peepers created his PEEPERS’ PITT.  When efforts to create a perfect woman with his power failed, Mr. Peepers decided to populate his universe with unique individuals from other realities.  Initially, Peepers brought ten individuals to his Peepers Pitt without their consent.  Peepers would go on to separate the ten with his godlike power.  It was his plan to gain experience by observing the ten individuals.  Eventually, Peepers had to intervene to make things more interesting.

Now, for the first time since their arrival, 7 of the original ten are all in one place, thanks to the assistance of a shadowy figure and a mysterious white cloth that has charged them to prepare to battle Mr. Peepers in a “last battle” to win their freedom from Peepers’ Pitt.

Jervas Clinkscales ran up to meet the group that had just entered his whorehouse.  Dollar signs flashed in his eyes as he counted the possibilities of the money he could make if Lucy were to service all six individuals!  Clinkscales was shaken out of his greedy thoughts when he saw that two of them were not quite human-looking.  The census worker with a pumpkin head, Charlie Decaye, stood in front of the group, with the birdman, Birdy Nok Nok, directly behind.

“Jervas Clinkscales,” Decaye began with his gravelly voice, “Pleased to meet you.  I’m Charlie Decaye.”  Decaye put his hand forward, but Clinkscales refused to shake it.

“Heeey man, what kinda thing you got goin’ on yo head? Didn’t know it wuz Halloween already!”  Clinkscales tightly gripped his pimp cane in an effort to prevent himself from fainting at the horrible sight of Charlie Decaye!

“Oh…well this is not a mask.  It’s my face!”  Decaye stared emotionless at Clinkscales.  After a long silence Clinkscales spoke up again.
“Well whut can I help you fellaz with?  Maybe you is interested in some fine music by my in-house performah, Vaaan Punker?  Or maybe you is wantin’ ta have a guud time with my numbah one ho, Lucy?”

Choo Choo Andrews walked up in front of Decaye.
“Lissen here, man!  We don’t want to lissen to music or do anything with your whore!  We were sent here by someone who wants to stop Mr. Peepers and get us out of this place!”

Decaye spoke again.  “Yes, a shadowy figure rescued us from the exile Mr. Peepers had placed us in, and returned us to this town.  He told us that he would place information about Peepers here, so we would know who we were dealing with.  Hopefully it will prepare us for the “last battle.”

Jervas twisted his hands on the handle of his cane.
“You mean we can get the hell outta this here ghost town, and gets back to where me and Lucy came from?”

“Da!  It is good!  We shall all be able to return to our homes,” said Boris, who was turning a bit red as he saw Lucy behind Clinkscales, near the staircase leading up to bedrooms, where he’d been before!

“Well, count me in…can’t make no money roun’ this place.   How is we gonna find this information on Peepers though?

Suddenly, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard!  It was not coming from the bathroom of the whorehouse however!  It was immediately clear that the flushing was coming from a glowing toilet that appeared right before the eyes of Clinckscales, Lucy, Punker, and the six guests! As soon as the toilet finished flushing…a bright light shot up out of it, and the familiar white cloth appeared, twisiting upwards out of the water!

 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Challenge to Stardust

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 6 of 10:  “Challenge to Stardust”
Stardust is signing autographs!
After the acceptance of the Perfect Pitt Challenge by the Hands of Time, Mr. Peepers now had to confront Stardust of the New Ink Pitt, with the same challenge.  Peepers arrived, materializing from thin air.  Before him he saw the same fashion show runway he had viewed in his vision, where Stardust and the people of his New Ink Pitt had paraded around ridiculously.  Upon the runway stood Stardust, wearing a glittered dress with star designs on it.  The fashion show/performance had ended, and now Stardust was signing autographs for a line of people that stood below the catwalk.

“Yes thank you!  I know I am brilliant!”  Stardust was speaking to a fat, balding man who was wearing a ladies’ bra.  “Yes I think it is fabulous that you are following in my footsteps!  Remember, as a beautiful young man, it is your right to wear delicate women’s’ wear!  Don’t ever be ashamed to BEAUTIFY YOURSELF!”  Stardust then took in a deep breath creepily as he licked his lips and started rubbing his nipple area!  Peepers looked on, thinking what a freak this Stardust was!

“Peepers see you, and he see you not lady!”  Peepers floated down from the air where he had appeared to confront the Starlet of Space.  The crowd didn’t seem to even notice as they were totally enthralled with Stardust alone.  Stardust noticed the Preeminent Peeper, however!

“Ahhh Mr. Peepers!  It is wonderful to see such an exceptionally beautiful young man here this close!  I myself am the most beautiful, but you are of a rare kind, that is for sure!  You could maybe use some lipstick and slip on some panties though hmmm.  To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Peepers frowned.  “Peepers not know what Star Man in dress talking about!  He not here to discuss lady things with you, unless it about seeing ladies naked hehe!  Peepers here to challenge you to Perfect Pitt Challenge!”

“Ooo I do so love a challenge!  Does it involve putting on a nice frilly skirt with and some heels?  That would be DELICIOUSLY perfect mmmm!!”  Stardust smiled and started touching his legs.

“NO!  It not about girly things!  It about you picking one of your people in New Ink Pitt to challenge person from Peepers’ Pitt and person from Shit Pitt in three-way battle!  Winner will be perfect and best pitt!  Winner also get to take two people from losing pitts to take back to his pitt!”

“This does sound exciting!  I do have quite a few beautiful young men here in my pitt that might be up for such a thing, yes! I accept your challenge, so long as I can watch my beautiful young man go at it with whoever you pick!  I will also require him to wear something feminine!”

“Peepers not care what Star Man do so long as he accept!”

“Well then, I do wholeheartedly accept!”  Stardust smiled and put forth his hand like a lady, in an effort to get Mr. Peepers to either hold it or kiss it.  Peepers refused to shake or kiss on it.  He then told Stardust that they would meet up in the Shit Pitt with Hands of Time on the next day.  It was there that they would have the battle.  Stardust agreed, and Peepers vanished


Check out the all-new Episode #13 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Punker Pays Up

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 5 of 10:  “Punker Pays Up”
Van Punker pays up the
only way he knows how! 
Van Punker sighed.  The driving rhythm of his electric guitar was enough to soothe his soul, as well as the pain in his genitals!  He strummed his instrument wildly as he remembered the chaotic last 24 hours of his life.  After playing a concert in a park (set up by Mr. Peepers) he had taken some drugs and drank some alcohol, which led to him waking up in a prostitute named Lucy’s bed!  Being the rock star that he was, of course Van Punker had sex with her.  Life was good until her pimp, Jervas Clinkscales showed up, demanding money for time spent with Lucy!  Punker was unable to find his money, and ran out of the whorehouse, completely naked!  Punker was on the run, but made the choice to return when Clinkscales began to beat Lucy!  His return cost him a hit to the genitals from Clinkscales’ cane, and left him lying in the street!

Punker and Clinkscales had worked things out right after that, because before the pimp could “take it out of his ass,” the rock star offered to play in Clinkscales’ whorehouse!  Being the businessman that he is, Clinkscales agreed, getting Punker to play for a few days to pay for the cost of sex with Lucy.  Clinkscales was pleased with Punker, but he was not pleased with the fact that he had no customers for Lucy or the rock star!  That was about to change however, as a familiar group showed up at the door.  It was Humphrey the hobo, Birdy Nok Nok, Charlie Decaye, Boris the Russian, Choo Choo Andrews, and the EMT Man!

Check out the all-new Episode #12 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Winner's Choice

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 4 of 10:  “Winner‘s Choice”
Hands of Time is starting 
to get the concept of the
Perfect Pitt Challenge!

“Perfect Pitt Challenge?  What’s that?” Hands of Time asked Mr. Peepers, before taking another puff of his giant wacky weed.

Peepers smiled.  “Perfect Pitt Challenge is new idea from Peepers!  It where Peepers challenge you and Stardust to battle of Pitts!  Peepers take best man in his Peepers’ Pitt, and put against best man in Shit Pitt and New Ink Pitt in 3-man fight!”

Hands of Time stared blankly again, high as a kite.  The impact of the Perfect Pitt Challenge was slow to settle in, but after a few moments, it hit him.  He then jumped up from where he sat.  “Ohh I see.  You want to challenge my best man huh?  Well that’s good, but what do I get if I win?”

Peepers spoke.  “Winner of Perfect Pitt Challenge get to pick one person from the two losing Pitts to take back to his Pitt!”

“Sounds good.  Even though I ain’t even really seen who you got in your Pitt.  Don’t even know if you got ANYONE in your Pitt hehe!  Last time I saw you there, you was all alone, trying to make perfect women!  Already found me some women!”  Hands of Time waved his hands outward, pointing to the four women in swimsuits around him.  Peepers grew angry!

“Peepers not care about your ladies!  He can get as many ladies as he want!  When Peepers win Perfect Pitt Challenge, he take more than just ladies from you though!  Do you accept Peepers’ challenge?”

Hands of Time took yet another puff of the giant wacky weed and then shook Mr. Peepers’ hand in agreement.  Peepers then vanished, off to the New Ink Pitt to confront Stardust, the Star-Crossed Starlet!

Check out the all-new Episode #12 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--The Challenge

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 3 of 10:  “The Challenge”
Mr. Peepers confronts 
Hands of Time!
After seeing the Hands of Time and Stardust with absolute control over their universes, Mr. Peepers was upset!  He had been unable to get this type of control over his universe, the Peepers’ Pitt, and he desperately wanted it!  So he used his godlike power to leave his universe and confront the two in person!

Peepers arrived in the Shit Pitt first.  Run by the Hands of Time, the Shit Pitt had a history of being a bit chaotic.  Named after Shithead, the evil Demon of Defecation who would later take it over, the Shit Pitt wasn’t that nice of a place.  Mr. Peepers held his nose, even though it didn’t really smell bad.  He appeared on the hill where the Hands of Time still sat smoking his giant wacky weed with the hot women in swimsuits.

“Hands of Time!” Peepers spoke in his creepy shrill voice.  Hands of Time looked up, and waved the smoke of his wacky weed from his face.  He then squinted to see.

“Ohhh heyyy it’s Mr. Peepers!  Girls say hello to Mr. Peepers!”  Hands of Time then giggled as Peepers flinched from nervousness at the sound of four beautiful women saying hello to him.  Not even his godlike power could prevent him from feeling a bit nervous!

“Well…” Hands of Time began, but then said nothing for several minutes as he stared blankly into space.

“HANDS OF TIME!” Peepers yelled.

“OH hey!  It’s Mr. Peepers!  Girls say he--”
“NO! You say that already!  Peepers see you! He know what you’re doing!”

Hands of Time put his hands over his ears.  “Heyyy man not so loud!  I’m so high right now and I don’ wanna hear all that noise!”  He then took another puff of his giant wacky weed and his eyes got even more glassy.  “Heheh yeah…that’s better!  So why you here?”

Peepers frowned.  “Peepers here because he know you trying to outdo Peepers…with total control of Pitt!  It make Peepers mad!”

Hands of Time just took some more puffs of his wacky weed and stared.  Peepers’ glasses began to glow brightly.  “PAY ATTENTION TO PEEPERS!”  That shook Hands of Time up enough that he was listening again.

“Peepers know you think your Pitt better than the Peepers’ Pitt, but it not so!  Peepers want to challenge you and your buddy, Stardust to prove it!  He want to challenge you to PERFECT PITT CHALLENGE!”

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Stardust--Starlet of the Stage

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 2 of 10:  “Stardust--Starlet of the Stage”
Stardust, the Star-Crossed Cross Dresser!

Last time, Peepers’ view of Kamola was suddenly obstructed by a strange darkness.  Peepers used his godlike power to dispel the darkness, but revealed a different scene altogether!  Somehow, Peepers no longer saw his Peepers’ Pitt, but was now viewing the Hands of Time in the neighboring universe known as the Shit Pitt!  Hands of Time smoked a giant wacky weed, and Peepers laughed, until he realized that Hands of Time had gained a more absolute control of his people in the Shit Pitt!  Before he could act, the scene shifted to a fashion show runway…

Peepers pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes.  With all the strange things he was seeing, he was beginning to wonder if he needed an eye doctor!  First the perpetually stoned Hands of Time was actually getting people to follow his commands while hanging out with hot women in swimsuits, and now he saw a fashion show runway!  Peepers stared intently to see what was going to happen on that catwalk.  He hoped for more hot women in swimsuits!  Music began playing, and out walked the first contestant!  Had Peepers not been godlike and beyond sickness, he would have surely thrown up at the sight of a shirtless Billy G. Hydrick walking out!  The redneck wore the tightest camouflage pants Peepers had ever seen on a man, along with his camouflage hunting cap!  He walked in a very ladylike fashion to the end of the catwalk and stopped.  He then bent one leg, put one hand on his hip, and made a kissing motion with his lips!  Peepers had to turn away until Billy G was off the runway after that!

The music changed a bit, signaling a new entrant into this fashion show.  Out came a contestant that was much more pleasing to Peepers!  It was Rachel Smith, the Mormon mommy of Rufus the retard!  The fiery redhead wore a traditional Mormon dress that had poofy shoulder pads that Peepers did not like very much!  Rachel was quite beautiful, but the dress didn’t do her justice!  Suddenly, the lights flickered on the catwalk, and Lenny the Leprechaun came running out and ran under Rachel’s long dress!  The leprechaun was evidently headed (once more) to Rachel’s most “sacred spot!”  Peeper’s glasses glowed in excitement as Rachel’s face grew red and her hands went down her dress to the spot.  Her knees buckled and her lips opened as she moaned!  Peepers licked his lips!  He had never seen a fashion show like this!  Rachel laid down on her back and spread her legs, revealing Lenny, who climbed halfway out from under her dress.  The other half of him was giving his lady all the love he had…right on stage!  Peepers clapped and whistled and yelled “encore” as the lights dimmed and the sexual performance ended.  The fashion show was turning out to be much better than what he expected!  What could be next?

Peepers was sorry he asked when the next thing he saw was the five versions of the Manly Man run out on the catwalk, singing a Village People song!  Peepers cringed now that, in addition to his eyes, his ears would be assaulted as well!  The five Manly Men did a dance routine along with the singing that ended with them all standing in a line, crotch to butt, with their legs apart.  The original Manly Man then appeared from under their legs and jumped out onto the runway!  He also sang a song about being gay and proud before doing a dance that ended with him holding a confetti stick close to his genitals that he popped out all over the audience that was below the catwalk!

The people cheered at the amazing fashion show/performance, but that was not the end!  A wide spotlight shined down on the catwalk, and from somewhere above, STARDUST floated down!  The Star-Crossed Cross dresser was proprietor of the New Ink Pitt, and that made Peepers aware of the place he was viewing finally!  Stardust talked about beautiful young men like himself, and how they should never be afraid of wearing delicate, feminine wear when they felt like it!  Peepers was disgusted and turned away.  Stardust then put on a play with all his New Ink Pitt People performing with him!  The play continued, and Peepers could not change the vision no matter how hard he tried.  When it was done, the audience cheered and the entire Pitt honored Stardust as the greatest Pitt Proprietor ever!  He was lifted up and basically worshipped by everyone there!

Peepers gritted his teeth and used his powers once more, and was finally able to move the vision from his sight!  He could see Kamola’s hut once more, and Kamola.  She had finished with her attempts at pleasure though, and now lay sleeping.  Peepers sighed.  He knew what he had to do after seeing the two visions.  He gritted his teeth as his glasses glowed.  Using his godlike power, Peepers disappeared from his Peepers’ Pitt, off to confront Hands of Time and Stardust!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Highly-Regarded Hands of Time

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 1 of 10:  “Highly-Regarded Hands of Time”
Hands of Time with the World's
Largest Wacky Weed!
Peepers had been watching Kamola, the large Asian woman, as she thrust her fingers into her most private space in a vigorous effort to bring herself great pleasure!  After countless gyrations of her body, and a near endless array of hand poses, she seemed to finally be reaching climax!  She spread out her large, voluptuous body on the floor of her straw hut, with her fingers still deep in her space!  Peepers could see it ALL, and he was enjoying every minute of it!  Her fingers thrust deep inside her!  Kamola let out a moan, and Peepers knew for sure that she was close.  He thrust out his tongue in delight as Kamola thrust her fingers deeper in her space!  And then…darkness!

Peepers’ pleasure was stopped at the last moment as his view of Kamola was obstructed by pure darkness!  The Preeminent Peeper was in shock, but then grew angry when he could no longer partake in his perverse peeping pleasure!  He used his godlike power in an effort to remove whatever was causing the darkness, but nothing happened!  Peepers strained again, rallying all his power to accomplish his wish!  Nothing was impossible to him!  He was godlike, and the ruler of his Peepers’ Pitt!  What was happening could not be!  Finally, his efforts were rewarded as light returned to his vision.  Peepers looked around, but could not see Kamola anywhere!  The straw hut was no longer there either!  Before him was a hill, and at the top sat…THE HANDS OF TIME?!?

Peepers could not believe what he saw!  What was the Hands of Time doing in his Peepers’ Pitt….AGAIN?!?  Peepers told him last time, when he accidentally popped into the Peepers’ Pitt looking for Stardust, that he was annoying and should leave!  Peepers was upset, until he realized he could do nothing to move the Hands of Time from where he sat!  Peepers examined things more closely, and a godlike intuition confirmed that he was actually somehow looking at Hands of Time’s universe…the Shit Pitt!  Hands of Time was high as always, smoking wacky weed by himself.  Peepers laughed at Hands of Time being too high to do anything important!

After a few deep puffs on his wacky weed, Hands of Time was joined by women in swimsuits, who he shared his weed with!  Peepers’ glasses glowed along with his jealousy!  Hands of Time then clapped his hands, and a giant wacky weed appeared!  He took a few puffs off of it, stood up, and started pointing in different directions!  Peepers then saw all the people in the Shit Pitt, like Johnny Pizzazz, The Rosewood Cowboy, Reverend Reynolds, and Betram Bunny moving around and doing whatever the Hands of Time commanded!  Peepers was astonished, and full of envy!  How could someone as messed up as the Hands of Time now be so highly-regarded that everyone in his Pitt would listen to him?  Peepers wanted that in his Pitt!  Peepers was prepared to do something about it, by making a trip to the Shit Pitt to see Hands of Time, but before he could, his vision changed again to show…a fashion show runway?

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Peepers' Pitt: New Crew Askew Epilogue

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew Epilogue
The Silhouette!

Choo Choo Andrews squinted.  A blinding white light had appeared before himself,  Boris the Russian solider, and the EMT Man.  The railroad man wondered if it was Mr.  Peepers again, but the presence of the white cloth that had rescued them from their predicament spoke otherwise.  Whoever…whatever was behind the white cloth and the light was not Peepers.  That much was about to become very clear.

A figure had appeared in the white light, against the billowing cloth, which stretched out to form a rectangle in the air.  The figure was in Silhouette against the white cloth and light, so it was impossible to make out the face.  The cloth and figure had moved a certain distance, but stopped short of the visual ability of anyone present to make out who it was.  The face was not necessary however, as a voice spoke:

“I have rescued you from the predicament Peepers placed you in so that you might come together once more and plan your next encounter with him.”

“I gave Peepers the necessary distraction to keep him occupied while I rescued you, and I am about to place limits on his ability to see you for some days.  In this time, you must plan to face him in “The Last Battle.”  This battle will determine your fate.  If you are able to defeat Peepers, then you will be returned to your rightful places in the universe.  If you cannot, then your fate is not certain.”

Charlie Decaye, Birdy Nok Nok, and Humphrey (with trash from the dumpster all over him) walked up at that moment.  They were aware of what was said as the voice was very loud, even in the alley where they had been.  It continued:

“You must go to the building that has become the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.  One among you has been there.”  Choo Choo looked back at Boris, who smiled and turned red.  “There I will place information on Peepers…background information on who he was before this place, people he knew, and where he came from.  I go now to set into motion an event that must take place before the Last Battle, an event that will possibly give you reinforcements in your struggle. Farewell!”

The figure and cloth then vanished, and the light faded.

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Power Behind the White Cloth

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 20 of 20: “Power Behind the White Cloth”
Who is behind the White Cloth?
Kidnapped from separate planes of existence and then scattered by the godlike Mr. Peepers, Charlie Decaye, the EMT Man, Humphrey, Boris, Birdy Nok Nok, and Choo Choo Andrews had finally re-assembled in a town in Peepers’ Pitt!  However, the Preeminent Peeper was displeased with this, and paired them up randomly, scattering them across his Peepers' Pitt once more!  This time, Peepers placed them in harsher environments, which included a desert, a snowy plain, and on a railroad car hurtling through the sky!  Escape from their predicament seemed hopeless!  However, the appearance of a strange white cloth in all three environments has altered the situation!

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo opened his eyes to darkness.  The white snowy plain and the white flowing cloth were gone.  This didn’t bother Humphrey at all however.  He was free of the cold snowy plain and felt very warm wherever he was.  A few sniffs brought him something even more pleasant than warmth--the smell of garbage!  Humphrey grew excited as he sensed he was in a place that he was intimately familiar with…a dumpster!

Humphrey moved around on all fours, feeling the familiar texture of plastic trash bags beneath him!
“I’s home!” he yelled.
Humphrey then turned over and began to wallow in the trash bags like a dog in filth.  His weight pressed against the bags and forced all sorts of liquids out, making Humphrey even happier!  After a few moments of resting on the bags, Humphrey rummaged around for food.  He found some old pork chop bones and some half-eaten crackers!
“MMM lunch!”  He then proceeded to eat.  His meal was interrupted by a banging on the side of the dumpster.
“Ey!  Whose that’s bangin’ my house? Go away!  I’s eatin’ here!”
The plastic lid of the dumpster was suddenly opened, and light poured in as Humphrey saw the figure of birdman, Birdy Nok Nok, perched on top.
“NO!  Youse not getting’ my food, Birdy!”
The face of Charlie Decaye then appeared, and peered down into the dumpster!  The kind man with the mean face scared Humphrey yet again!
“AGHHHH!! WHA THE HELL? Don be scarin’ me likes that, Decaye!”
Decaye spoke.  “Humphrey, you fell into the dumpster.  The rest of us are all here, back in the town.  The white cloth brought us here, but we don’t know how or why.”
Humphrey grabbed the lid of the dumpster and tried to close it.
“Man I’s don care!  I’s got all I needs here!”
“Humphrey, get out of the dumpster and join us on the street.”  Decaye held the lid open.  “We have been assisted and brought out of the predicament Peepers put us in.  Don’t you want to go home?”
Humphrey struggled with the lid.  “Man I gon stay right here! Gots all the food I need!”

Suddenly, a white light filled the street where Boris, Choo Choo, and the EMT Man were standing.  It grew brighter and spread to the alley where Humphrey’s dumpster was.  Humphrey, Birdy, and Decaye watched in awe as the white cloth appeared once more in the light, along with the silhouette of a man!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Shit Pitt--Coach Spurrier on the Divorce

Shit Pitt--Coach Spurrier on the Divorce
Coach Spurrier talks about the aftermath of his battle with the Rosewood Cowboy, and his horse, Snigger!

To see the Piss 'N Boot debacle that Spurrier makes reference to go to

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.