Peepers' Pitt--The Challengers

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 9 of 10:  “The Challengers”

Peepers chooses the EMT Man for the challenge!

Mr. Peepers materialized in his Peepers Pitt once more, after his visit to Hands of Time in the Shit Pitt and Stardust in the New Ink Pitt.  Now that he had set the Perfect Pitt Challenge in motion, he had to act fast to pick the best representative from his pitt to do battle with those from the other two pitts.  Peepers knew exactly who he wanted for the job though.  The EMT Man would be perfect!

Peepers laughed to himself as he floated across the desert where he’d placed Charlie Decaye and the EMT Man.  The EMT man was perfect for the Perfect Pitt Challenge because he was truly insane!  Peepers, in his godlike state, could not figure him out, so how would any opponents have a chance?  The EMT man was pure unpredictability and madness, which had been proven when he put Charlie Decaye in a chokehold!  Peepers arrived to the spot where the pool of water was, and saw that the water had turned yellow!  The EMT Man had gone in the water!  Peepers laughed as Decaye kneeled down nearby, spitting out water he had drunk from the now peed-in pool.

As always, Peepers was invisible to those he peeped on, however, he was unaware that what he was seeing was an illusion!  The shadowy figure had somehow recreated Decaye and the EMT Man and hidden the fact that they were not real!  Peepers finished laughing at Decaye and then simply floated over to the EMT Man as his glasses glowed.  A moment later, and they were both gone from the desert!

Meanwhile, in the Shit Pitt, the Hands of Time sat on his hill, smoking his giant wacky weed and surrounded by the women in swimsuits.  He put one hand in the air, and someone came walking up the hill to him.  It was a man, wearing an Arabian-style headpiece. Hands of Time took a puff of his giant wacky weed and then stared seriously at the man.

“Tell me your name” Hands of Time spoke in a serious tone.
“I am Hala--” the man began, but was cut off by the Hands of Time.
“I know your name!”  He then took another puff.  “What is your name?”
The man look puzzled.  “My name is Hala--”  He was cut short again.
“No, no, no don’t tell me!!”  Hands of Time went from serious to silly.  He then took another puff.  “I know who you are but I forgot because…I’M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW! Go ahead and tell me your name anyway!

The man shook his head out of disbelief at the Hands of Time’s behavior and then said.
“I am Halabaad, the T-Shirt Terrorist!  Death to American clothing!”
And what is your mission?  Hands of Time took another puff.
“It is my sacred duty to crush my opponents in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!  I shall defeat them so that we may have a great victory!  So says Halabaad!!  LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALA!!”

Hands of Time smiled.  “Aww man I love that war cry!  Peepers ain’t gonna know what hit him!”

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and Stardust appeared, wearing his glittered dress getup from the runway show.  He was accompanied by Just A Solider, who wore a military jacket and helmet, but had on a pink dress in place of pants!

“Hands of Tiiiime” Stardust began, “So good to see such a beautiful young man as yourself once again!  We are here to answer Peepers’ challenge--my beautiful young man, Just A Solider, and I!”


 NEXT: THREE-MAN BATTLE
 WEDNESDAY, November 6, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental