Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Stardust--Starlet of the Stage

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 2 of 10:  “Stardust--Starlet of the Stage”
Stardust, the Star-Crossed Cross Dresser!

Last time, Peepers’ view of Kamola was suddenly obstructed by a strange darkness.  Peepers used his godlike power to dispel the darkness, but revealed a different scene altogether!  Somehow, Peepers no longer saw his Peepers’ Pitt, but was now viewing the Hands of Time in the neighboring universe known as the Shit Pitt!  Hands of Time smoked a giant wacky weed, and Peepers laughed, until he realized that Hands of Time had gained a more absolute control of his people in the Shit Pitt!  Before he could act, the scene shifted to a fashion show runway…

Peepers pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes.  With all the strange things he was seeing, he was beginning to wonder if he needed an eye doctor!  First the perpetually stoned Hands of Time was actually getting people to follow his commands while hanging out with hot women in swimsuits, and now he saw a fashion show runway!  Peepers stared intently to see what was going to happen on that catwalk.  He hoped for more hot women in swimsuits!  Music began playing, and out walked the first contestant!  Had Peepers not been godlike and beyond sickness, he would have surely thrown up at the sight of a shirtless Billy G. Hydrick walking out!  The redneck wore the tightest camouflage pants Peepers had ever seen on a man, along with his camouflage hunting cap!  He walked in a very ladylike fashion to the end of the catwalk and stopped.  He then bent one leg, put one hand on his hip, and made a kissing motion with his lips!  Peepers had to turn away until Billy G was off the runway after that!

The music changed a bit, signaling a new entrant into this fashion show.  Out came a contestant that was much more pleasing to Peepers!  It was Rachel Smith, the Mormon mommy of Rufus the retard!  The fiery redhead wore a traditional Mormon dress that had poofy shoulder pads that Peepers did not like very much!  Rachel was quite beautiful, but the dress didn’t do her justice!  Suddenly, the lights flickered on the catwalk, and Lenny the Leprechaun came running out and ran under Rachel’s long dress!  The leprechaun was evidently headed (once more) to Rachel’s most “sacred spot!”  Peeper’s glasses glowed in excitement as Rachel’s face grew red and her hands went down her dress to the spot.  Her knees buckled and her lips opened as she moaned!  Peepers licked his lips!  He had never seen a fashion show like this!  Rachel laid down on her back and spread her legs, revealing Lenny, who climbed halfway out from under her dress.  The other half of him was giving his lady all the love he had…right on stage!  Peepers clapped and whistled and yelled “encore” as the lights dimmed and the sexual performance ended.  The fashion show was turning out to be much better than what he expected!  What could be next?

Peepers was sorry he asked when the next thing he saw was the five versions of the Manly Man run out on the catwalk, singing a Village People song!  Peepers cringed now that, in addition to his eyes, his ears would be assaulted as well!  The five Manly Men did a dance routine along with the singing that ended with them all standing in a line, crotch to butt, with their legs apart.  The original Manly Man then appeared from under their legs and jumped out onto the runway!  He also sang a song about being gay and proud before doing a dance that ended with him holding a confetti stick close to his genitals that he popped out all over the audience that was below the catwalk!

The people cheered at the amazing fashion show/performance, but that was not the end!  A wide spotlight shined down on the catwalk, and from somewhere above, STARDUST floated down!  The Star-Crossed Cross dresser was proprietor of the New Ink Pitt, and that made Peepers aware of the place he was viewing finally!  Stardust talked about beautiful young men like himself, and how they should never be afraid of wearing delicate, feminine wear when they felt like it!  Peepers was disgusted and turned away.  Stardust then put on a play with all his New Ink Pitt People performing with him!  The play continued, and Peepers could not change the vision no matter how hard he tried.  When it was done, the audience cheered and the entire Pitt honored Stardust as the greatest Pitt Proprietor ever!  He was lifted up and basically worshipped by everyone there!

Peepers gritted his teeth and used his powers once more, and was finally able to move the vision from his sight!  He could see Kamola’s hut once more, and Kamola.  She had finished with her attempts at pleasure though, and now lay sleeping.  Peepers sighed.  He knew what he had to do after seeing the two visions.  He gritted his teeth as his glasses glowed.  Using his godlike power, Peepers disappeared from his Peepers’ Pitt, off to confront Hands of Time and Stardust!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Highly-Regarded Hands of Time

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 1 of 10:  “Highly-Regarded Hands of Time”
Hands of Time with the World's
Largest Wacky Weed!
Peepers had been watching Kamola, the large Asian woman, as she thrust her fingers into her most private space in a vigorous effort to bring herself great pleasure!  After countless gyrations of her body, and a near endless array of hand poses, she seemed to finally be reaching climax!  She spread out her large, voluptuous body on the floor of her straw hut, with her fingers still deep in her space!  Peepers could see it ALL, and he was enjoying every minute of it!  Her fingers thrust deep inside her!  Kamola let out a moan, and Peepers knew for sure that she was close.  He thrust out his tongue in delight as Kamola thrust her fingers deeper in her space!  And then…darkness!

Peepers’ pleasure was stopped at the last moment as his view of Kamola was obstructed by pure darkness!  The Preeminent Peeper was in shock, but then grew angry when he could no longer partake in his perverse peeping pleasure!  He used his godlike power in an effort to remove whatever was causing the darkness, but nothing happened!  Peepers strained again, rallying all his power to accomplish his wish!  Nothing was impossible to him!  He was godlike, and the ruler of his Peepers’ Pitt!  What was happening could not be!  Finally, his efforts were rewarded as light returned to his vision.  Peepers looked around, but could not see Kamola anywhere!  The straw hut was no longer there either!  Before him was a hill, and at the top sat…THE HANDS OF TIME?!?

Peepers could not believe what he saw!  What was the Hands of Time doing in his Peepers’ Pitt….AGAIN?!?  Peepers told him last time, when he accidentally popped into the Peepers’ Pitt looking for Stardust, that he was annoying and should leave!  Peepers was upset, until he realized he could do nothing to move the Hands of Time from where he sat!  Peepers examined things more closely, and a godlike intuition confirmed that he was actually somehow looking at Hands of Time’s universe…the Shit Pitt!  Hands of Time was high as always, smoking wacky weed by himself.  Peepers laughed at Hands of Time being too high to do anything important!

After a few deep puffs on his wacky weed, Hands of Time was joined by women in swimsuits, who he shared his weed with!  Peepers’ glasses glowed along with his jealousy!  Hands of Time then clapped his hands, and a giant wacky weed appeared!  He took a few puffs off of it, stood up, and started pointing in different directions!  Peepers then saw all the people in the Shit Pitt, like Johnny Pizzazz, The Rosewood Cowboy, Reverend Reynolds, and Betram Bunny moving around and doing whatever the Hands of Time commanded!  Peepers was astonished, and full of envy!  How could someone as messed up as the Hands of Time now be so highly-regarded that everyone in his Pitt would listen to him?  Peepers wanted that in his Pitt!  Peepers was prepared to do something about it, by making a trip to the Shit Pitt to see Hands of Time, but before he could, his vision changed again to show…a fashion show runway?

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Peepers' Pitt: New Crew Askew Epilogue

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew Epilogue
The Silhouette!

Choo Choo Andrews squinted.  A blinding white light had appeared before himself,  Boris the Russian solider, and the EMT Man.  The railroad man wondered if it was Mr.  Peepers again, but the presence of the white cloth that had rescued them from their predicament spoke otherwise.  Whoever…whatever was behind the white cloth and the light was not Peepers.  That much was about to become very clear.

A figure had appeared in the white light, against the billowing cloth, which stretched out to form a rectangle in the air.  The figure was in Silhouette against the white cloth and light, so it was impossible to make out the face.  The cloth and figure had moved a certain distance, but stopped short of the visual ability of anyone present to make out who it was.  The face was not necessary however, as a voice spoke:

“I have rescued you from the predicament Peepers placed you in so that you might come together once more and plan your next encounter with him.”

“I gave Peepers the necessary distraction to keep him occupied while I rescued you, and I am about to place limits on his ability to see you for some days.  In this time, you must plan to face him in “The Last Battle.”  This battle will determine your fate.  If you are able to defeat Peepers, then you will be returned to your rightful places in the universe.  If you cannot, then your fate is not certain.”

Charlie Decaye, Birdy Nok Nok, and Humphrey (with trash from the dumpster all over him) walked up at that moment.  They were aware of what was said as the voice was very loud, even in the alley where they had been.  It continued:

“You must go to the building that has become the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.  One among you has been there.”  Choo Choo looked back at Boris, who smiled and turned red.  “There I will place information on Peepers…background information on who he was before this place, people he knew, and where he came from.  I go now to set into motion an event that must take place before the Last Battle, an event that will possibly give you reinforcements in your struggle. Farewell!”

The figure and cloth then vanished, and the light faded.

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Peepers' Pitt--Power Behind the White Cloth

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 20 of 20: “Power Behind the White Cloth”
Who is behind the White Cloth?
Kidnapped from separate planes of existence and then scattered by the godlike Mr. Peepers, Charlie Decaye, the EMT Man, Humphrey, Boris, Birdy Nok Nok, and Choo Choo Andrews had finally re-assembled in a town in Peepers’ Pitt!  However, the Preeminent Peeper was displeased with this, and paired them up randomly, scattering them across his Peepers' Pitt once more!  This time, Peepers placed them in harsher environments, which included a desert, a snowy plain, and on a railroad car hurtling through the sky!  Escape from their predicament seemed hopeless!  However, the appearance of a strange white cloth in all three environments has altered the situation!

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo opened his eyes to darkness.  The white snowy plain and the white flowing cloth were gone.  This didn’t bother Humphrey at all however.  He was free of the cold snowy plain and felt very warm wherever he was.  A few sniffs brought him something even more pleasant than warmth--the smell of garbage!  Humphrey grew excited as he sensed he was in a place that he was intimately familiar with…a dumpster!

Humphrey moved around on all fours, feeling the familiar texture of plastic trash bags beneath him!
“I’s home!” he yelled.
Humphrey then turned over and began to wallow in the trash bags like a dog in filth.  His weight pressed against the bags and forced all sorts of liquids out, making Humphrey even happier!  After a few moments of resting on the bags, Humphrey rummaged around for food.  He found some old pork chop bones and some half-eaten crackers!
“MMM lunch!”  He then proceeded to eat.  His meal was interrupted by a banging on the side of the dumpster.
“Ey!  Whose that’s bangin’ my house? Go away!  I’s eatin’ here!”
The plastic lid of the dumpster was suddenly opened, and light poured in as Humphrey saw the figure of birdman, Birdy Nok Nok, perched on top.
“NO!  Youse not getting’ my food, Birdy!”
The face of Charlie Decaye then appeared, and peered down into the dumpster!  The kind man with the mean face scared Humphrey yet again!
“AGHHHH!! WHA THE HELL? Don be scarin’ me likes that, Decaye!”
Decaye spoke.  “Humphrey, you fell into the dumpster.  The rest of us are all here, back in the town.  The white cloth brought us here, but we don’t know how or why.”
Humphrey grabbed the lid of the dumpster and tried to close it.
“Man I’s don care!  I’s got all I needs here!”
“Humphrey, get out of the dumpster and join us on the street.”  Decaye held the lid open.  “We have been assisted and brought out of the predicament Peepers put us in.  Don’t you want to go home?”
Humphrey struggled with the lid.  “Man I gon stay right here! Gots all the food I need!”

Suddenly, a white light filled the street where Boris, Choo Choo, and the EMT Man were standing.  It grew brighter and spread to the alley where Humphrey’s dumpster was.  Humphrey, Birdy, and Decaye watched in awe as the white cloth appeared once more in the light, along with the silhouette of a man!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.