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| Just A Solider, Halabaad, and the EMT Man square off in the Perfect Pitt Challenge! |
Mr. Peepers appeared in the Shit Pitt…as a floating head! He partially materialized in an effort to display his power and shock his opponents. He slipped up behind the Hands of Time as he sat on his hill. Once he got right behind his head, Peepers spoke.
“PEEPERS SEE YOU,” came the shrill voice of the Preeminent Peeper. Hands of Time nearly dropped his wacky weed as he jumped up from where he sat!
“What the hell?!?” Hands of Time screeched shockingly.
“Peepers has returned! He display his might before you, to show that Peepers has escaped the boundaries of the physical form! You cannot beat Peepers, Hands of Time, or Stardust! You cannot beat Peepers’ representative either…the EMT Man!” Peepers’ glasses flashed and the EMT man appeared, drooling and bouncing up and down, shirtless and wearing worn jeans.
Hands of Time and Stardust looked on in amazement at the bizarre EMT man. The amazement didn’t last too long however, as Hands of Time took another puff of his giant wacky weed.
“Well…that certainly is one strange character ya got Mr. Peepers, but can your…EMT Man defeat…HALABAAD, THE T-SHIRT TERRORIST?”
Halabaad began to chant “Death to American clothing! Death to Cotton! Death to thread! Death to t-shirts as robes are more natural!”
Stardust walked up with the dress-wearing Just A Solider. “Ooo that is a mighty fine looking young man you have there, Mr. Peepers, but he doesn’t have to fight my solider, as we have no issue with him! However, we do take issue with Halabaad insulting America and its fashions!”
Just A Solider then pushed past Stardust and got right in Halabaad’s face.
“SIR…YES SIR…TOOK OUT THE ENEMY SIR…WIFE’S AT HOME SIR! WHAT? MY WIFE DID WHAT? STELLA…YOU SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!? OOO SAY CAN YOU SEE…WAHHH!!”
Just A Solider began crying and dropped to his knees. Hands of Time, Halabaad, and Peepers looked on with confusion. Only Stardust smiled.
“That’s my good solider…not afraid to show your feelings…love for your wife, even though she cheated on you…and love for your country!” Stardust then crouched beside Just A Solider and whispered into his ear. “Just A Solider…not only is Halabaad a terrorist…I believe he was the one your wife cheated with! Teach him a lesson!”
Just A Solider looked up, and his tears were visible, but his eyes were full of hate! He jumped to his feet and in the same motion, punched Halabaad in the stomach! Halabaad leaned over, clutching his guts as Just A Solider stood over him. Halabaad then let out a “LALALALALALALALA” and jumped up and began a fist-fight with Just A Solider!
Peepers’ head floated, and a smile came across his face. The two would beat each other to death and then a victory for the EMT Man would be certain! This didn’t last long however, as Just A Solider and Halabaad would fall onto the ground with their struggle and roll right over the EMT Man’s exposed toes! The EMT Man then let out a loud “AWWOOOO” and put Just A Solider in a choke hold! He would hold him there for a moment, slobbering all over his helmet as Halabaad got in a few cheap punches. The EMT Man got bored with this however, and let Just A Solider go, only to put Halabaad in a chokehold next! Just A Solider and Halabaad would eventually team up and began pounding on the EMT Man, sending him crouching to the ground! When they thought they had him beat, and turned away to continue their fist fight, the EMT Man sprang up and ran into both of them, sending all 3 men rolling down the hill!
Peepers, Hands of Time, and Stardust would all make their way down the hill to see the outcome. They arrived to find the EMT Man standing and drooling over the unconscious bodies of Just A Solider and Halabaad!
NEXT: RUFUS (the Retard) AND HIS SWEETIE
WEDNESDAY, November 13, 2013 at 9 PM!
All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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