Pitt Report: New Ink Pitt--Making Trodemus Great Again

New Ink Pitt--Trodemus: Psychic Supreme pt. 2 of 3: Making Trodemus Great Again

Trodemus angrily attempted to get off the ceiling. His whole bedroom had been turned upside down, or at least he was, as he was the one on the ceiling and Belinda was still on the table below. His efforts were distracted for a moment as he looked down at his now totally naked cherished chubby Belinda laid out on the table. He admired her beauty, visually tracing every roll of her curvy body. His body have been upside down, but at least one part of him was now standing upright!

"Ahem!" came the voice of the bald woman in the business suit who just entered the room from a portal in the side of the wall. "Are you finished admiring your lady? She's really lovely, and I'm happy for you but I'm only female you should be paying attention to at the moment!"

Trodemus glared at the bald woman in disdain. "Bah! Trodemus has no time for you! He is not interested in skinny women with bald heads! Now begone so Trodemus can figure out what is going on here with Belinda, his money, and the Funky Poppers!"

The bald woman gasped. "Wow! There you go with your body shaming! Guess you've been brainwashed by my competition! Going to be tough to get your vote...of confidence, but I'm gonna give it a try!"

Trodemus gritted his teeth in anger. "Woman, who are you and why do you keep babbling to Trodemus of Doom?!?"

The bald woman put her hands on her hips. "Well fella, my name is Hillary and I'm here to help you out of your financial problems!"

Trodemus squinted in distrust. "What would you know of Trodemus' financial problems?"

Hillary smiled and waved her hand across her body in front of her. Her business suit became a monk type jacket one wore in a monastery. "Everything! The floating glass followed by the haunting of your finances, on up to your current Psychic Parlor of Doom situation!"

"H-How do you know this?" Doom stammered but wasn't sold yet.

"Well I'm something of a guru--just don't ask me to send any e-mails!" Hillary then smiled a toothy grin for 30 seconds as she eyed Trodemus for some sort of acknowledgement of her greatness.

"What? Why do you look at Trodemus like a woman stuck at climax?"

Hillary broke the grin and frowned. "This is the part where you're supposed to get down on your knees like a broken man and tell me to teach you!"

Trodemus looked puzzled. "Teach me what?"

"Aren't you trying to become a doctor?"

"Huh? Trodemus is a psychic and has no desire to become a doctor!"

Hillary looked disappointed. "Well that is a bit...strange. Could have sworn you were a sorcerer who wanted to become a doctor. Or was it the other way around?"

Trodemus groaned and held his head. "Woman, you are making the Prophet of Doom sick! State your business plainly so he can get right side up again and back to his Belinda!"

"Oh all right! I can help your financial situation! All you have to do is vote for me as..."

Before Hillary could finish, an older man in a suit with a red tie and bad hairdo popped out of the portal! He floated up beside Hillary and surveyed the entire room with squinty eyes and a slightly open mouth.

"Now you listen here, Trodemus!" The man spoke. "You don't have to vote for Hillary because no man should have to take orders from a woman! Sure she's flashy and is well-liked by most of the voters, but only the Donald can make the Trodemus great again! Vote for me...and you'll not only be a great psychic with lots of money, but you'll be Trodemus: Psychic Supreme!"

Trodemus just shook his head in confusion. Despite all he'd seen and experienced as the Prophet of Doom, this scenario was perhaps the weirdest ever! Before he could react, Hillary and Donald began fighting it out right in front of him! Hillary slapped Donald and then Donald punched Hillary! The two went back and forth while floating in the air, until a strong wind came out of the portal and sucked them both back in! The portal then disappeared in a flash of light and when Trodemus opened his eyes again, he was upright and back in his bed! Belinda was no longer naked on a table in the middle of the room, but lying asleep right beside him. Trodemus, groaned and Belinda awakened.

"What's wrong, Troddie?"
"Nothing Belinda. Just a bad dream...with politics!"
"Gotta stop watching network news before bed then Hon!"

Doom stared at his bedroom, which was normal and not full of Funky Poppers. He sighed and lay back down. He was just about to drift off when a scratching sound was heard from the ceiling. The sound increased, and appeared to be coming from all sides. The scratching then became a ripping sound. Trodemus sat up in bed again just in time to see the entire roof of his Psychic Parlor of Doom get ripped off by the hand of a giant Stardust!! Belinda screamed as Trodemus gritted his teeth in anger!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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