New Ink Pitt--Origin of the Manlies

New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 12 of 12: “Origin of the Manlies”

The Manly Men Created!

Manly Man danced around the room in front of the bound Officer Bates and Screenface.  He was happy that Bates had now discovered the truth.  He was the original Manly Man and the others were cheap imitations that he evidently wanted rid of!  The Man Princess began to sing  to himself about how he felt pretty until Officer Bates interrupted him.  “How do I know that you’re the “real” Manly Man anyway?  You look just like the rest of those queers to me!”  Manly Man giggled and got right in Bates’ face.  “Oh Mr. Bates, you’re such a hardcase!  I wish something else on you was hard instead!” Bates cussed.  Manly Man looked surprised.  “Oh my goodness, Mr. Bates!  Such foul language!  Do you need a spanking, naughty boy?”  Bates looked angrily at Manly Man.  “No you damn fag! What I need is you to get to the point and tell me what the hell is going on!!”  Manly Man sighed.  “Oh, all right, Mister Bates.  The truth, once again, is that I really am the original Manly Man!  Just ask Screenface over there.  He knows!  Don’tcha Screenie Poo?”  Screenface just groaned.  He didn’t seem to be in the best of shape.  “Yeah, Screenie Poo there told ya what he did, right?” Bates shook his head.  “Oh Mr. Bates, get with the program!  Screenie Poo killed me in the Whitespace!  I was dead, but somehow, someway, the mysterious energies of the Whitespace restored me to life!  By that time though, my swimmers had gotten away from me!”  Bates looked puzzled.  “What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, Swimmers?”  Manly Man smiled at Bates.  “My swimmers are my sperm!  You see, before Screenie Poo killed me he caught me jacking off!  Maybe it was jealously--I’m not sure, but he got so worked up that he took up arms against me!  So there I was, getting off to a picture of Scott Baio--a really hot picture I might add--and next thing I know, BANG I was dead!  Now if Screenie Poo wanted to penetrate me, I really wished he’d done it with something other than lead!  Well, he shot me, but I managed to ejaculate before I was hit!  So, I don’t know what happened, but somehow the Whitespace decided to magically change my swimmers into five other versions of myself!  Then, when I was restored to life, I ended up here, in what you call the New Ink Pitt!  I laid low after learning of the other Manlies, and bided my time until I found the appropriate moment to strike!  I kinda enjoyed watching how creative and unique each of them became!  Gaymerica was the most fun to watch, but I realized at some point that he and these other versions were getting out of hand!  His fictitious presidency had to come to an end, so I could once more assert myself as the one and only Manly Man!”  Manly Man grabbed Officer Bates’ pistol and held it up.  “Well, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Mr. Bates!  Nothing is going to stop me from getting rid of these imitations!  Not you, and certainly not Screenie Poo over there!  With you two out of the way, I can finally act without interference!  Well, I’ll see you guys later, because I’ve got some copycats to take care of!””

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT: FASHION VICTIM
WEDNESDAY MAY 6, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!

Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!

New Ink Pitt--Assassin Revealed

New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 11 of 12: “Assassin Revealed!”

The One True Manly Man!

Officer Bates awoke to find himself chained to a wall.  Someone had hit him from behind, knocking him unconscious.  He had just located Screenface again, and was half expecting him to throw some kind of new treacherous trickery at him.  Bates was in for a surprise, however.  It appeared that the Veiled Villain had fallen victim to trickery not of his making, as he hung suspended from a wall by chains!  Before Bates could ask any questions, he was hit in the head from behind!

Bates looked over to his right, and saw that he was bound to the very same wall as Screenface!  The Veiled Villain hung right beside him, looking fairly helpless.  Bates had come to arrest Screenface because he just knew that he had to be the one who took a shot at the Manly Man Gaymerica!  Now, however, it appeared that perhaps that assumption was wrong.  Someone else was behind this, but who?  Who would try to kill the Manly Man Gaymerica, and who had the methods and the mental capacity to best the master criminal, Screenface?!?  Bates didn’t have to wait long for an answer.  Across the room,  there was a door that opened.  A strange but familiar figure crawled out on all fours.  It was…the Manly Man?!?  “Why hello, Mr. Bates!  It’s been quite a while!”  His face was a deep purple, much like the original Manly Man from the first Ink Pitt.  “Oooo I see you still got some big muscles!  I DO love a man in uniform!!”  The “Manly Man crawled over to the wall, and Bates noticed his pink feather boa, another classic aspect of the original Manly Man, hanging around his neck.  “Well, Mr. Bates, I confess!  I’m your man!  Heheh!!”  Bates gritted his teeth and looked down at the abomination before him.  “What the hell are you talking about?  Who are you?  Is this some kinda sick joke?!?”  The “Manly Man” leaned over even more, sticking his butt up in the air before rising.   He pushed his chest right up against Bates’ body as he went up.  Now standing, he addressed the Officer’s questions.

“As for who I am, Sugar--I’m the MANLY MAN!  The original and the only true Manly Man there has ever been!  I’m your little Man Princess and all the girls are jealous!  My confession, Mr. Bates, is simply that I, the Manly Man, am the assassin you’re looking for!  I’m the one who tried to kill Manly Man Gaymerica!”

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com


NEXT: ORIGIN OF THE MANLIES
WEDNESDAY APRIL 29, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!

Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!

New Ink Pitt--Altered Appearances

New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 10 of 12:  "Altered Appearances"

Screenface captured...but not by Bates!

 
Bates crawled down the hole in the floor that he found in the office building. Moments after sparking a wall of flame, Screenface had escaped down the same hole, trying to prevent Officer Bates from apprehending him. Bates had accused the Veiled Villain of shooting Manly Man Gaymerica in the arm, in an attempt to assassinate him. True to type, the villain had not denied the claims, and was now on the run. Bates could almost taste the guilt, and couldn’t wait to capture Screenface and bring him to justice. What he saw once he reached the bottom of the hole would come as a surprise, however, as Bates saw Screenface, bound against a wall in chains! Bates immediately thought it was a trick, but didn’t get the chance to find out as he was hit in the head from behind! The Lawman fell to the ground, unconscious!

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com


NEXT: ASSASSIN REVEALED
WEDNESDAY APRIL 22, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!

Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!

New Ink Pitt--Screenface's Escape

New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 9 of 12:  “Screenface‘s Escape”

Screenface behind the flames!

Officer Bates held his gun tightly.  Upon entering the office building, he was immediately met by the one he sought, none other than Screenface himself!  Bates was sure now that it had been the Veiled Villain who was behind the attempted assassination of the Manly Man Gaymerica!  Everything added up, and he was going to put him away!  Screenface stood before Bates, holding the burning match he had lit.  “Ah, so I see you’ve come looking for me, eh Officer Bates?  You think I was the one who tried to shoot Gaymerica, don’t you?”  Bates pointed his gun right at the veiled head of the villain, daring him to move.  “C’mon now, I know it was you, Screenface!  No one else has the motive or would use the particular means that you have.  Why don’t you just give yourself up right now, and I won’t hurt ya up too bad!”  Screenface laughed.  “Ah yes, Officer.  You’ve got me.  I surrender!”  Screenface lifted his hands in the air, dropping the still lit match.  Bates yelled.  “No! What are you--”  That was all Bates was able to get out, because in the next second, the match hit the floor and a wall of flame rose from it!  Bates leapt back outside the building, avoiding injury.  He sniffed the air and realized that the floor had been covered with gasoline! Bates ran to his police car, and got a fire extinguisher out of the trunk.  He used it to extinguish the flames and save the building.  When the smoke cleared, Screenface was long gone.  However, Bates found a trap door that he must have used to escape.  Bates got it open, and went in after him!

*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT: ALTERED APPEARANCES
WEDNESDAY APRIL 15, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!

Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!

New Ink Pitt--Search for Screenface

New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 8 of 12:  “Search for Screenface”

SCREENFACE!

     Last time, Officer Bates’ interrogation of King Trostelus resulted in the king getting off the hook.  The king paid his way out and used the fact that Bates was once in his employ as leverage against incriminating evidence.  Ultimately, Bates realized that King Trostelus, no matter how much he wanted rid of Manly Man Gaymerica, would not act with the stealth that had been displayed by whoever was in charge of the attempted assassination.  The King preferred open force over covert strikes.  Trostelus would have sent an entire army to take the Manly Man and his whole government out at once.  The king said that he was not the one behind the operation, but he had an idea who might be. Screenface!  The Veiled Villain of the Ink Pitt, and arch-enemy of the Ink Avenger was known for his past attempts to take over the world!  It would not be a surprise to anyone if he was behind the assassination attempt.  The fact that he had also challenged Manly Man Gaymerica for control of the New Ink Pitt at the outset only added to the evidence!
     So now, Officer Bates arrived at what appeared to be an abandoned office building.  The word on the street was that structure was possibly Screenface’s secret base of operations!  Unlike the rest of Bates’ suspects, Screenface was not simple to locate.  A master of disguise, and said to have access to limitless amounts of wealth, Screenface may well prove to be beyond the reach of the law!  Bates cursed to himself, pushing aside such thoughts.  No man was above the law, or at least above the financial snares of the law, as with King Trostelus.  Bates vowed he would find Screenface, and bring him to justice if he was in fact behind the assassination.  Bates approached the back of the building, planning to take Screenface by surprise, if possible.  He tried the door, but of course, it was locked.  A padlock hung from a metal hinge on the door.  Bates gritted his teeth, backed away and drew his gun.  He was about to fire, but he stopped himself.  He had no silencer, and the noise of the shot would no doubt alert anyone inside to his presence.  Bates had lost his cool there for a moment.  He was so determined to find and capture the criminal that he had almost forgotten to use discretion.  Bates put his gun back in its holster and pulled out his nightstick.  He worked it into the padlock, and using the door itself for leverage, began to pull back on it.  It was slow going and Bates wasn’t making any progress.  A few heavy blows from the nightstick would do it, but that would make too much noise.  Bates put the nightstick away, and pulled some special keys out of his pocket.  One of them was sure to open the door.  His efforts paid off in the end, as the padlock came apart!  Bates then opened the door and went in, gun once more drawn.  He was met by darkness, then a flicker of light as someone lit a match.  Standing before him in the firelight was Screenface!
     
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com

NEXT: SCREENFACE'S ESCAPE
WEDNESDAY APRIL 8, 2015

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!

Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!