New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 12 of 12: “Origin of the Manlies”
Manly Man danced around the room in front of the bound Officer Bates and Screenface. He was happy that Bates had now discovered the truth. He was the original Manly Man and the others were cheap imitations that he evidently wanted rid of! The Man Princess began to sing to himself about how he felt pretty until Officer Bates interrupted him. “How do I know that you’re the “real” Manly Man anyway? You look just like the rest of those queers to me!” Manly Man giggled and got right in Bates’ face. “Oh Mr. Bates, you’re such a hardcase! I wish something else on you was hard instead!” Bates cussed. Manly Man looked surprised. “Oh my goodness, Mr. Bates! Such foul language! Do you need a spanking, naughty boy?” Bates looked angrily at Manly Man. “No you damn fag! What I need is you to get to the point and tell me what the hell is going on!!” Manly Man sighed. “Oh, all right, Mister Bates. The truth, once again, is that I really am the original Manly Man! Just ask Screenface over there. He knows! Don’tcha Screenie Poo?” Screenface just groaned. He didn’t seem to be in the best of shape. “Yeah, Screenie Poo there told ya what he did, right?” Bates shook his head. “Oh Mr. Bates, get with the program! Screenie Poo killed me in the Whitespace! I was dead, but somehow, someway, the mysterious energies of the Whitespace restored me to life! By that time though, my swimmers had gotten away from me!” Bates looked puzzled. “What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, Swimmers?” Manly Man smiled at Bates. “My swimmers are my sperm! You see, before Screenie Poo killed me he caught me jacking off! Maybe it was jealously--I’m not sure, but he got so worked up that he took up arms against me! So there I was, getting off to a picture of Scott Baio--a really hot picture I might add--and next thing I know, BANG I was dead! Now if Screenie Poo wanted to penetrate me, I really wished he’d done it with something other than lead! Well, he shot me, but I managed to ejaculate before I was hit! So, I don’t know what happened, but somehow the Whitespace decided to magically change my swimmers into five other versions of myself! Then, when I was restored to life, I ended up here, in what you call the New Ink Pitt! I laid low after learning of the other Manlies, and bided my time until I found the appropriate moment to strike! I kinda enjoyed watching how creative and unique each of them became! Gaymerica was the most fun to watch, but I realized at some point that he and these other versions were getting out of hand! His fictitious presidency had to come to an end, so I could once more assert myself as the one and only Manly Man!” Manly Man grabbed Officer Bates’ pistol and held it up. “Well, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Mr. Bates! Nothing is going to stop me from getting rid of these imitations! Not you, and certainly not Screenie Poo over there! With you two out of the way, I can finally act without interference! Well, I’ll see you guys later, because I’ve got some copycats to take care of!””
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: FASHION VICTIM
WEDNESDAY MAY 6, 2015
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| The Manly Men Created! |
Manly Man danced around the room in front of the bound Officer Bates and Screenface. He was happy that Bates had now discovered the truth. He was the original Manly Man and the others were cheap imitations that he evidently wanted rid of! The Man Princess began to sing to himself about how he felt pretty until Officer Bates interrupted him. “How do I know that you’re the “real” Manly Man anyway? You look just like the rest of those queers to me!” Manly Man giggled and got right in Bates’ face. “Oh Mr. Bates, you’re such a hardcase! I wish something else on you was hard instead!” Bates cussed. Manly Man looked surprised. “Oh my goodness, Mr. Bates! Such foul language! Do you need a spanking, naughty boy?” Bates looked angrily at Manly Man. “No you damn fag! What I need is you to get to the point and tell me what the hell is going on!!” Manly Man sighed. “Oh, all right, Mister Bates. The truth, once again, is that I really am the original Manly Man! Just ask Screenface over there. He knows! Don’tcha Screenie Poo?” Screenface just groaned. He didn’t seem to be in the best of shape. “Yeah, Screenie Poo there told ya what he did, right?” Bates shook his head. “Oh Mr. Bates, get with the program! Screenie Poo killed me in the Whitespace! I was dead, but somehow, someway, the mysterious energies of the Whitespace restored me to life! By that time though, my swimmers had gotten away from me!” Bates looked puzzled. “What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, Swimmers?” Manly Man smiled at Bates. “My swimmers are my sperm! You see, before Screenie Poo killed me he caught me jacking off! Maybe it was jealously--I’m not sure, but he got so worked up that he took up arms against me! So there I was, getting off to a picture of Scott Baio--a really hot picture I might add--and next thing I know, BANG I was dead! Now if Screenie Poo wanted to penetrate me, I really wished he’d done it with something other than lead! Well, he shot me, but I managed to ejaculate before I was hit! So, I don’t know what happened, but somehow the Whitespace decided to magically change my swimmers into five other versions of myself! Then, when I was restored to life, I ended up here, in what you call the New Ink Pitt! I laid low after learning of the other Manlies, and bided my time until I found the appropriate moment to strike! I kinda enjoyed watching how creative and unique each of them became! Gaymerica was the most fun to watch, but I realized at some point that he and these other versions were getting out of hand! His fictitious presidency had to come to an end, so I could once more assert myself as the one and only Manly Man!” Manly Man grabbed Officer Bates’ pistol and held it up. “Well, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Mr. Bates! Nothing is going to stop me from getting rid of these imitations! Not you, and certainly not Screenie Poo over there! With you two out of the way, I can finally act without interference! Well, I’ll see you guys later, because I’ve got some copycats to take care of!””
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: FASHION VICTIM
WEDNESDAY MAY 6, 2015
All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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