New Ink Pitt--I'm a Mormon, but..

Rachel Smith

New Ink Pitt--Rachel’s Gift pt. 1 of 2:  “I’m a Mormon, but…”

“My name is Rachel Smith, and I’m a Mormon.”

Rachel recited her version of the Mormon commercials she’d seen on the Internet about her faith happily to Lenny the Leprechaun.  She had been talking about Mormonism and what the priesthood meant for nearly 30 minutes!  Lenny sat and pretended to be interested.  This was not at all what he’d had in mind when he’d asked Rachel if they were going to drive somewhere and be “bad, bad, bad,” as Rufus had put it.  Rachel was so happy that good Mormons had been using the Internet to get the word out about their faith!  She was also happy that her “special” son, Rufus, had taken the first step towards the Mormon priesthood by going to the temple and receiving his endowment.

Rachel had been driving around since they’d dropped Rufus off for endowment, but they had been headed nowhere in particular.  It seemed her mind was elsewhere, and the Lecherous Leprechaun would have to do his part to remind the mother of his unborn child that he wanted to deliver some serious loving to her somewhere private!

Lenny put his hand over Rachel’s hand that was not steering the minivan.  His stubby, hairy fingers then began to caress her hand gently.  He looked up at Rachel with a desire in his eyes, and when she saw that, she knew instantly what he wanted!

“Lenny…I’m a Mormon…”  Rachel stared down at him.  “…but I also have needs!”  Rachel then took Lenny’s hand in hers.  “I need you, Lenny!”

Lenny smiled.  “Well, lass, let us find a private place where I can take care of ye!”

Rachel began driving to a wooded area outside of town, and eventually found an abandoned road that they could turn off on.  She pulled the minivan over behind some trees that covered them from immediate view.  She stopped the car, took one more look at Lenny, and pulled her shirt off!  She then unzipped her pants and pulled them off as well!  Rachel sat there, a beautiful redheaded woman, in nothing but her purple bra and panties!  Lenny gasped at her beauty, and quickly removed all of his clothing, until Rachel could see once more that the leprechaun had become a “full grown man” for her!  Lenny leapt onto Rachel and took her in a passionate kiss…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 JoshJon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Water Rights

Charlie Decaye

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 14 of 20: “Water Rights”

Charlie Decaye struggled as the EMT man held him from behind in a chokehold!  The insane man had attacked Decaye before he could drink from the pool of water.  Decaye was amazed at the strength of the EMT man, and it took all he could to move his arm from around his neck!  Decaye then twisted the EMT man’s arm behind his back.  The EMT man turned and looked at Decaye in the face for the first time and began to scream!  It was as if he was suddenly conscious of the horrible pumpkin face that was Decaye’s head!  He then blanked out again, as his eyes crossed and his body tensed up.  He broke the grip of Decaye and shoved the pumpkin-headed horror away from himself!

The EMT man then turned and went over to the pool of water and squatted in it!  Decaye could not figure out the EMT man, and didn’t really want to.  However, it seemed that they were stuck together, like it or not!  Decaye went over to the edge of the water and got a drink, carefully watching to see if the EMT man would react.  There was no reaction whatsoever this time.  It appeared that he wanted to be the first one to interact with the pool and didn’t care if someone drank from it after.  Decaye soon stopped drinking from the water when he saw a yellow liquid in water near the EMT man.  The insane man had gone in the pool!  Now there was nothing to drink and nowhere to go.  Decaye felt that they should continue walking, but did not know if there would be any use in a desert that seemed to go on forever!

Decaye sat down with his feet in the pool and watched the EMT man as he tried to figure out what to do.  He felt the wind pick up, and when he looked over to the direction it was coming from, he saw something moving in the distance!  At first, it was too far away to tell what it was, but as it grew closer, it appeared to be a white stretch of cloth that billowed in the air…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Kamola's Action

What is Kamola doing?

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 13 of 20: “Kamola’s Action”

Mr. Peepers leaned back in satisfaction.  He floated invisible through the air of his Peepers’ Pitt, satisfied with the conflict he’d created among the individuals he’d brought there!  Everyone was finally doing something of interest, and Mr. Peepers felt that he would finally gain experience by watching them!  The Preeminent Peeper was enthralled as he used his godlike power to watch them all at once!

Suddenly, Peepers realized that even in his godlike state, he’d forgotten something, or more accurately, someone!  What was the large Asian woman, Kamola, doing?  He momentarily broke his connection with the others in order to focus all his energy on checking out Kamola.  He saw her hunched over in the straw hut he’d placed her in.

Peepers spoke to himself.  “What woman doing? Despite not having food, she still fat!  Peepers had hope she lose a few pounds!”

Peepers quickly noticed that Kamola was different though.  First of all, she was now completely naked!  She was finally doing something as well, as she leaned back from her hunched position to reveal her fingers deep in her most private space!  Peepers gasped at the sight of Kamola giving in to the lustful desire she’d been thinking about earlier!

“Peepers like! Yes Kamola! Yes! Touch yourself for Peepers! Hehe!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 JoJon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Punker's Choice

Jervas Clinkscales

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 12 of 20: “Punker‘s Choice”

Rock star, Van Punker, crouched naked behind a trash can in an alley.  He had left his clothes behind after being discovered with Jervas Clinkscales #1 ho, Lucy!  He had no money and no explanation how he’d ended up in bed with her.  Clinkscales had been in pursuit of him, yelling as he’d walked out of his place of business.  Now Van Punker heard a different sound, as Clinkscales turned his anger towards Lucy!

Punker walked to the edge of the alley and peered around the building.  Clinkscales was turned away from him, and held Lucy tightly by the arm as he repeatedly slapped her for being “a stupid ho!”  The pimp was upset Lucy had slept with Punker without getting payment up front.  Punker watched as Lucy began to bleed from her lips and nose from the abuse.  Punker gritted his teeth.  He wanted to help, but he also didn’t want to get in trouble for not paying.  He quickly lost his choice in the matter, as Lucy looked through bloodshot eyes in his direction and said “help me.”

“Who youse talkin’ to?” Clinkscales questioned. He then turned, and saw Punker’s flaming red Mohawk sticking out from the side of the building!  “There he is! Youse gon’ pay up now!”  Clinkscales let go of Lucy and tapped his cane along the pavement as he made his way in Punker’s direction.  Punker then jumped out from the alley, exposing his nakedness to the world…and Clinkscales!

“Hell no, man! Youse need ta put on some clothes!  They’d upstairs, but you ain’t getting ‘em back until youse pay up!”  Clinkscales walked right up to Punker and shoved both his hands into the handle of his cane, forcing it down right between them.  “So what’s it gon be, man?”

Punker lifted a fist to punch Clinkscales right in the face, but before he could connect, the pimp flipped his cane up right into Punker’s exposed crotch!  Punker grabbed his area, and fell to the ground in pain.

“Thought you might be difficult!  Now, I is gon’ have to take the pay outta ya ass!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Birdy Tap Tap

Birdy Nok Nok

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 11 of 20: “Birdy Tap Tap”

Choo Choo Andrews searched frantically.  The railroad man was looking for anything that could stop the railroad car he and Birdy Nok Nok were trapped on.  There was nothing to use however, as the car moved of its own volition, without a locomotive to pull it!  To make matters even worse, the railroad car was FLYING through the air!

Andrews gave up his search and looked out the window again, thinking that the flying railroad car was a figment of his imagination.  Outside, he saw nothing but sky and the white mist of clouds that occupied it.  There was no ground in sight, so they must have been very high up.  Andrews sighed and watched as they moved past the clouds in the air at a moderate pace.  The rate of movement was slower than the speed of the average train.

Choo Choo stared at the clouds and felt very tired.  He would have nodded off if not for the squawking of Birdy Nok Nok, which started up again!  The bird man was flapping his arms and the attached wings and flew from one side of the railroad car to the other, stopping to look through the windows and see outside.  He perched himself on a rail near the window and put his beak forward.  Choo Choo looked on in horror as he realized what Nok Nok was about to do.  The bird man then began to peck the window with his beak!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Winter Wheels

Humphrey sees a way of escape!

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 10 of 20: “Winter Wheels”

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo was MISERABLE!  He had been placed out on a snowy plain along with a workaholic!  Boris, the Russian solider, could not find work of any kind so he began to work his own body with exercise!  Humphrey had had enough and was walking away.

The godlike Mr. Peepers watched the scene from nearby, floating in the air and invisible to the two men.  Boris continued to work out, and Humphrey was returning to his usual ways of being useless and wandering around in search of food and shelter.  Not that finding food and shelter on the snowy plain was useless--it just wasn’t what Peepers had wanted for the two.  The Preeminent Peeper wanted interaction between the two individuals, and he would stop at nothing to get it!  The time for conflict had arrived!  Mr. Peeper’s glasses glowed, and out of nowhere, a bicycle appeared!

Boris saw the bicycle first and was overjoyed at the possibility of having a piece of exercise equipment to work his legs with!  He yelled out excitedly in Russian, and then ran towards the bicycle, which was several yards away.  Boris’ yell caused Humphrey to turn around and see the bicycle also.  Humphrey’s eyes grew big at the sight as he thought of using the bicycle to escape the snowy plain more quickly than by foot!  He hobbled over towards the bicycle.  When it seemed like he’d never make it, and Boris would grab the bike first, Peepers used his power to push the hobo forward.  They both grabbed hold of the bike at the same time…


All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Control of Conflict

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 9 of 20: “Control of Conflict”


Charlie Decaye, the kind man with the mean, pumpkin-headed face, trudged onward through the faux desert.  Behind him, the mental patient known only as the EMT Man, due to the letters emblazoned on his forehead, followed.  The two had been placed in this “desert” by the now near-omnipotent Mr. Peepers, and were attempting to find their way out.

Decaye marveled at the fact that the EMT Man had taken no notice of him until he started to walk away.  It was almost as if the insane man was being guided by some unseen force.  This was closer to the truth than Decaye realized, as the EMT was in fact being guided by the invisible Mr. Peepers, who floated in the air nearby!  Peepers could not decipher the thoughts of the EMT Man, but he had found a way to project his own thoughts into him.  These thoughts came in the form of mental commands from Peepers that told the EMT Man what to do.  Peepers had led the EMT Man into the town where Decaye had first encountered him.

Peepers grew bored as he watched Decaye slowly walk through the “desert.”  Peepers wanted conflict, and decided to make some!  His glasses glowed, and a small pool of water appeared right in front of Decaye!  Decaye was very thirsty, though the desert was not all that hot.  He walked over to the pool and put a finger in it, and discovered that it was no mirage!  He then crouched down and cupped a handful of water.  Before he could drink, he heard an “Awoo!”  A moment later, the EMT Man was upon Decaye, placing a chokehold on him!  Peepers smiled.  This was more like it!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.