Lenny tells Rachel an Irish Tale!
New Ink Pitt--Lenny’s Lifestyle pt. 2 of 5: “An Irish Tale”
Rachel leaned over the bar, resting her chin on one hand, looking over at a tall glass of green beer Lenny had poured for her to drink. Lenny had been trying to loosen up Rachel so she’d have a good time at the Irish pub he had taken her to. Rachel had refused to drink the beer though, and now a drunken Lenny the leprechaun had resorted to a new approach--an Irish Tale to “tickle Rachel out of her timidness!”
Lenny grabbed a barstool and set it up behind where Rachel sat at the bar. The drunken leprechaun then attempted to climb up the barstool! After a few failed attempts, Lenny finally made it to the top, and stood on the seat! His 3’ frame was now visible to everyone in the pub.
“Now, Rachel. I know that ye are not havin’ a guud time! While *urp* drinkin’ is the best way to have a guud time in me Irish pub, there are ot’er ways to be havin’ fuun as well!” Lenny reached over to a barstool that was next to the one he stood on. He had made sure to set his glass of green beer there beforehand so that it would be within reach! He took a big gulp of beer and continued. “As I was sayin’ there are lots’a ot’er ways to have fuun in the Irish pub, and one of ‘em is telling IRISH TALES!”
Lenny then went on to tell an Irish Tale that wasn’t really an Irish Tale at all. He told of two American entrepreneurs of Irish descent with the last name McDonald and how they founded a famous American fast food restaurant. Lenny told of how they were Irish-American and how they were discriminated against when an American businessman bought the business from them and made a fortune off of it. Lenny got really pissed off about it and threw his beer glass down in the floor! He then said what he’d do to that American businessman who stole from his people, which included him taking a flying leap, jumping on the man’s shoulders, pulling out his big green weiner, sticking it in the man’s ear, and HUMPIN’ HIS BRAINS OUT! Of course that didn’t go over too well with Rachel as she got upset and started arguing with Lenny again. Lenny tried a few other Irish tales, but being that they all dealt with drunkeness, naked women, or Lenny getting angry, they could not win over Rachel or loosen her up. Irish tales were not working so Lenny decided that maybe action would help as he considered…dancing!
Rachel leaned over the bar, resting her chin on one hand, looking over at a tall glass of green beer Lenny had poured for her to drink. Lenny had been trying to loosen up Rachel so she’d have a good time at the Irish pub he had taken her to. Rachel had refused to drink the beer though, and now a drunken Lenny the leprechaun had resorted to a new approach--an Irish Tale to “tickle Rachel out of her timidness!”
Lenny grabbed a barstool and set it up behind where Rachel sat at the bar. The drunken leprechaun then attempted to climb up the barstool! After a few failed attempts, Lenny finally made it to the top, and stood on the seat! His 3’ frame was now visible to everyone in the pub.
“Now, Rachel. I know that ye are not havin’ a guud time! While *urp* drinkin’ is the best way to have a guud time in me Irish pub, there are ot’er ways to be havin’ fuun as well!” Lenny reached over to a barstool that was next to the one he stood on. He had made sure to set his glass of green beer there beforehand so that it would be within reach! He took a big gulp of beer and continued. “As I was sayin’ there are lots’a ot’er ways to have fuun in the Irish pub, and one of ‘em is telling IRISH TALES!”
Lenny then went on to tell an Irish Tale that wasn’t really an Irish Tale at all. He told of two American entrepreneurs of Irish descent with the last name McDonald and how they founded a famous American fast food restaurant. Lenny told of how they were Irish-American and how they were discriminated against when an American businessman bought the business from them and made a fortune off of it. Lenny got really pissed off about it and threw his beer glass down in the floor! He then said what he’d do to that American businessman who stole from his people, which included him taking a flying leap, jumping on the man’s shoulders, pulling out his big green weiner, sticking it in the man’s ear, and HUMPIN’ HIS BRAINS OUT! Of course that didn’t go over too well with Rachel as she got upset and started arguing with Lenny again. Lenny tried a few other Irish tales, but being that they all dealt with drunkeness, naked women, or Lenny getting angry, they could not win over Rachel or loosen her up. Irish tales were not working so Lenny decided that maybe action would help as he considered…dancing!
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All characters, stories, and performances are
(C) 2011 Joshua Dyson
All characters, stories, and performances are
(C) 2011 Joshua Dyson
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