Shit Pitt--Betram meets the Turkey Man

Shit Pitt--Shit War pt. 19.5 of 20 :  Betram meets the Turkey Man

Betram Bunny laid down on his bed and prepared to go to sleep.  The Bisexual Bunny who was always looking for love had finally been relieved of the huge stomach upset he experienced from eating Shithead!  Originally, Betram had brought the Demon of Defecation into the Shit Pitt (as it became known) by reciting from a book of Leprechaun magic while using the toilet!  So it was his duty to return Shithead to his world the same way he had entered--through Betram's ass!  Things had gone wrong though, and there was concern that Betram would pass Shithead and he would be reborn!  Resident magician, Johnny Pizazz, then stepped in and opened up a portal inside Betram that sent Shithead back to his home dimension.*

With his stomach one more at peace, Betram could focus on the other part of his body that had problems--his face!  Horribly disfigured by the evil Dr. Dyson, Betram's face was still an odd mass of stretched skin and fur.  Betram felt sadness as he lay on his bed and thought about his looks.  How would anyone ever love him with a face like the one he had?  He began to cry as he drifted off to sleep.  Suddenly, Betram was aware of a strange noise outside his window.  He listened closely with his bunny ears and identified the sound as an "erk erk erk" noise.  He dismissed it some of the Cowboy's chickens running around, but it was already dark out and they should all be roosting for the night.

ERK ERK ERK ERK came the noise as it got louder and seemed to be getting closer.

ERK ERK ERK  GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA

Betram rose up in his bed at the familar sound.

"Ahu ahu" Betram giggled.  "That sounds like a turkey!"

ERK ERK ERK GOOLA GOOLA GOOLA  TAP TAP

Betram looked towards his window towards the tapping sound just in time to see a turkey shaped head with beak tapping the window!

"Ohh it is a turkey ahu ahu!  Didn't know the Cowboy had any!  Maybe he needs a good shooin' to send him off ta bed ahu ahu!"

Before Betram could move, the turkey began tapping the window harder and harder with its beak in between "goolas" and "erks!"  The tapping got so fast and violent that the glass began to break.  Betram was horrified!  What was wrong with this turkey?

"Go away!  ahu ahu! You got the wrong guy!  I'm a bunny rabbit!  I don't eat meat and I  don't even like Thanksgiving!"

Betram's cries went unheeded, and with one last "goola goola" the turkey cracked a hole in the window and then broke the whole thing by throwing it's body through it!  It came crashing into Betram's room screeching and puffing it feathers up like some dominant beast!  Betram looked closer to see something was not right with this turkey.  The Bisexual Bunny's eyes grew big as he saw that on each side of the turkey, where the feathers are, that there were also two manlike arms!  This Turkey "Man" then turned its attention to Betram!  It stared at him for a moment before leaping up into the air and landing on his bed!

"Oh no!  Don't huwt me!  I'm just a silly bunny man! ahu ahu,"  Betram pleaded.

The Turkey Man let out another erk erk erk that changed into something sounding like a scream.  Betram tried to hide under the covers, but could not take his eyes off the horror before him!  The Turkey Man** appeared to be struggling with something.  He erked and pranced around a bit and then squatted and screamed repeatedly.  Finally the whole frightening scene ended with a

SPLUTCH!

The Turkey Man then leapt off of Betram's bed and out the window, leaving behind a large egg, coated with unknown body fluid and fecal matter.  Betram just sat there in disbelief...


*Read http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2010/12/pitt-report-shit-in-betrams-stomach.html
**Origin of the Turkey Man  http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com/2010/11/special-thanksgiving-story-turkey-man.html

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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Peepers' Pitt--Firefight in the Lab

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge pt. 5 of 6 :  Firefight in the Lab

Peepers fired multiple bursts of energy from his laser wands, turning back the Pittians from their attempt to capture him!

"FIRE!"  Peepers yelled repeatedly as the lasers shot off in the direction of the Pittians.

"Not exactly what I had in mind."  A voice spoke to Glademus as he watched the firefight unfold between Mr. Peepers and the Pittians.

"Well, he seems to be adapting well.  Hopefully the gray experience has humbled him enough to use this version of the power more responsibly."  Glademus sat in a chair next to an executive desk while watching Peepers on the view screen.  Behind the desk, in a leather chair, sat the person he spoke to.  They were inside a large office that was circular in shape.  On the ceiling was a familiar shape that glared down at them.  The room was filled with the finest furniture and looked like a very important place.

Back in the Tinkerer's lab, Peepers was firing lasers all over the place, and the Pittians could do nothing to reach him!  Suddenly, the room filled with gray smoke!

"Choo Choo!!"  Peepers yelled.  "What you think you doing?"  Peepers struggled to see as the smoke filled the lab and the opening to the maze before him.

"Hey guy!"  An odd man in a dress shirt and tie appeared out of the smoke in front of Mr. Peepers.  "Don't worry, I can help you out of here!"

"Who you and where you come from?"  Peepers questioned.

"I'm just a regular guy!  Here to help!"

Peepers' new glasses automatically scanned the man to reveal his true form.  A pumpkin head appeared in place of the regular guy face!

"Charlie Decaye!  You not fool Peepers with new face!  Get out Peepers' way before he blast you!"

Female hands slid across Peepers' shoulders and down his chest, followed by arms and the smell of too much perfume.  Peepers pulled away and turned.

"Lucy!  Stay away from Peepers with dirty hands!"

"Aww c'mon Peepers baby!  My hands ain't dirty!"  She held up her hands and flashed her long fingernails while pushing out her hips sexily.

"Peepers glasses detect otherwise!  Fingers show residue of interaction with hoo ha, and everybody know Lucy #1 Ho with the #1 dirtiest hoo ha!"

"Why you--"  Lucy went to slap Mr. Peepers but the giant ho slapping hand of Jervas Clinkscales did it for her!  He slapped Mr. Peepers from behind, almost sending him to the ground!

"That'll teach ya not ta talk junk 'bout mah #1 ho!  You gon ‘pologize for ever calling her hoo ha dirty!"

Peepers laughed.  "Clinkscales?  What happen to hands?  Did Lucy give you infection with her dirty hoo ha?"

"Don't you laugh at me!  Yeah mah hands look funny but I know how ta use 'em real good!  Gonna use 'em to pimp slap you all over the place!"

Before Peepers could move, the muscular arms of Boris the Russian solider wrapped around him, and held him in place!  His strength was incredible, having been increased by his earlier interaction with Mr. Peepers.

"I've got him, Comrade Jervas!"

Jervas rubbed his giant hands together and smiled.  He was ready to give Mr. Peepers a good smacking!

BRANG!  Peepers activated his invulnerability again and his personal force field pushed Jervas back and caused Boris to lose his grip!  Peepers ran through the smoke to escape them, and knocked over Humphrey Hobo on his way!  The impact of the force field knocked the hunchback hobo out!  Peepers' glasses had detected the lab exit through the smoke, and was directing Peepers.  He was almost out and back into the maze when he heard a loud pitched yell that nearly deafened him!  Van Punker appeared and started playing air guitar, which now actually produced sound!  The air guitar sound was joined by his amplified yell.  His air guitar power actually sounded like an entire rock band!  Peepers had no time to ponder it as he quickly fired his lasers at Van Punker and ended the catastrophic concert before it got out of hand!  Peepers missed the rocker, who jumped out of the way.

Peepers exited the lab and went into the maze leaving the gray smoke behind.  The entire maze was now visible as he started to run down it.  Before he could go a few steps though, the EMT man appeared!  The EMT man looked crazier than ever, and the EMT letters on his forehead were glowing!  He ran up to Peepers and headbutted him!  Peepers was knocked back a bit, but his force field held, and caused the EMT man to be blown backwards and off his feet!  Peepers then ran past the EMT man down the maze.  He turned briefly to fire his lasers into the roof of the maze, which brought down mortar and many mechanical parts between him and his pursuers!  Peepers giggled and continued down the maze.

VRRRPPP!! VRRRPPP!  Peepers tripped and fell as two giant coils wrapped around both his legs.  He looked up to see the Mad Tinkerer with his robot!  The robot had shot the coils out of its arms, and was slowly reeling Peepers closer to him.

"Forgot about us, didn't you?  Well the game is over, Mr. Peepers!"  The Mad Tinkerer scoffed.  "My scientific mind has defeated that strange suit of yours!  Now Glademus has to send us home!"

Mr. Peepers frantically scrolled the screen of his glasses with his eyes, searching for a method of escape.  He then saw a menu entitled “ESCAPE.”  Peepers saw the word “TELEPORT” and activated it!  Peepers said “teleport,” and the world around him began to fade in a red light.  He could faintly hear the voice of the Mad Tinkerer as he struggled to find a way to stop what was happening.  Everything around Peepers then disappeared into a red nothingness!  The redness grew and grew until it finally reached a climax.  It then quickly flew away to reveal another environment!  Peepers looked to find himself in an oval office!  Before him sat Glademus and a man in a black suit and white tie behind an executive desk.  The man was also wearing glasses, which were identical to Mr. Peepers' original ones.  Mr. Peepers realized the man looked exactly like him!  The man rose to his feet and spoke.

"Welcome Peepers.  I am President Peepings!"

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.

 

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New Ink Pitt--Cash-Covered Curves and Collecting

New Ink Pitt--Trodemus:  Psychic Supreme pt. 1 of 3:  Cash-Covered Curves & Collecting

"Ohh Troddie!  We're rich baby!  Rich!"

Trodemus, Prophet of Doom opened his eyes to the sound of his Cherished Chubby, Belinda!  He arose from his Bed of Doom to see her lying naked on a table in the middle of their bedroom!

"Belinda?  What is the meaning of this?  Why are you lying naked without the presence of Doom upon you?"

Belinda raised her curvaceous body up off the table and Trodemus saw that she had been laying on money that had been spread out on the table beneath her!

"It's your money, Troddie!  I love it!"  Belinda then began to roll her enormous sweaty body all over the table, rubbing herself across the money and laughing.  Green 100 dollar bills pressed up against her large breasts, belly, thighs and butt and flattened until they stuck! She was left with a body full of cash-covered curves!

"Belinda!  What are you doing?  The Prophet of Doom enjoys all your sexy games but that is my money you are rolling your big ass on!  Reserve your curves for your man!"

Belinda refused to listen and rolled up a few 100 dollar bills and moved them down to her crotch area!

"Oooo Troddie!  Oooo your money gets me hot!"

Trodemus was at first appalled, but then smirked as he watched his large lady love pleasure herself with his finances!  It was oddly gratifying!

Suddenly the sound of a doorbell was heard, followed by a strange popping sound.  Before anyone could move to answer the door, one appeared in the wall across from Trodemus and Belinda!  The door then flew open to reveal strange beings with oversized  rounded heads and impossibly small bodies.  The all had round dark eyes and made a popping noise.  Trodemus stared in fright as the creatures ran for Belinda!

"Belinda!  Stay away from her!!" Trodemus yelled from his bed.  The creatures leapt up onto the table with Belinda and began to pull the money off of her body!

"Stop!  What are you foul creatures doing to my beautiful Belinda?!?  Begone!"

Belinda laughed as one of the creatures peeled a 100 dollar bill from her breast.  "Hey, that tickles!  It's okay Troddie!  They aren't foul, they're funky!

Trodemus glared.  "Funky?"

Belinda giggled.  "Yeah!  They're called Funky Poppers!  It's because of the popping sound they make and because well, they're funky!"

"Trodemus does not care what they are, he just wants to know why they are here touching his lady love and taking his money!"

"Well they get the money because I bought them!"  Belinda twisted her curves to allow the little Funky Poppers to get several bills out from under her rolls.

"What are you saying?  Did you squander the finances of Doom again?!?

Belinda smiled and picked up one of the Funky Poppers.  "I spent it all Troddie--on these little guys!  Aren't they cute?"

"Bah!  They hardly resemble anything human!  Such funky body types are very unrealistic and not at all appealing to Trodemus of Doom!  You are telling me that you've gone and got yourself a collecting habit?"

"Umm...yeah!  It really is a habit too!  I bought one and then I had to have more!  I kept buying until I got all you see here!"  The room had filled with what appeared to be hundreds of Funky Poppers!

Trodemus groaned.  "And how much did they cost you?"

"Well they were different prices, but I got most of them around $75 each!"

Doom put both hands to his head in pain over such a financial loss!  That is when the room began to turn upside down, and he suddenly found himself on the ceiling while Belinda was below him on what appeared to be the floor.  Trodemus tried to reach Belinda or get her attention but he could not.  She appeared to be frozen in place and did not respond.

"What...is going on now?  Trodemus demands an answer!"

The wall across from him suddenly swirled as a circular rush of energy expanded into some sort of portal!  Out of the portal stepped a bald headed woman in a business suit.

"Oh Trodemus, what if I told you this reality is one that's miniature?  If you want to make your reality bigger you gotta change your hairstyle!  We can be stronger together if you're with me!"

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2016 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.

 


Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic
Purchase on Ebay