Shit Pitt--Rebellion Roadblock

Will the Rebellion stop Spurrier's Wedding?

Shit Pitt--Bridle Vows pt. 1 of 5: “Rebellion Roadblock”
Spurrier sat on Snigger’s back as they returned to the Rosewood Cowboy’s farm. He looked around and felt a sense of disgust. He had worked so hard to rescue Snigger the horse from this place, now they had been forced to come back! The Reverend Reynolds had agreed to marry Coach Spurrier and Snigger on one condition--they had to return to the Cowboy’s farm. Reynolds had refused to marry them somewhere else as Spurrier had hoped. The Cocky Coach had suggested other places such as the Crockaboose, the Prove It Ground, and even Spurrier’s own college football stadium! Reynolds said no to all, stating that he could not leave the Shitling prison on the Cowboy’s farm since his “work with them was at a critical stage.” Spurrier tried other ministers and Justices of the Peace, but NO ONE wanted to unite a man and a horse! So, Spurrier agreed, but only after calling his contacts at the jail where the Cowboy was being held, to make sure he was still there. Spurrier didn’t want to walk into some kind of trap by going back to the Cowboy’s farm.

Satisfied that the Cowboy was still unable to interfere in his marriage to Snigger, Coach Spurrier got to thinking about how the farm was actually the perfect location. What better place was there to take Snigger away from the Cowboy forever? Once married, Spurrier could constantly reiterate the fact that he took away the Cowboy’s prized possession, on his OWN LAND! Spurrier smiled smugly as they approached the large ranch house that had served as the Rebellion’s base of operations during the Shit War. Spurrier wondered about the other members of the Rebellion, and what they were up to. The Cocky Coach had only been on the run for a week. Was the entire rebellion STILL hanging around, and how would they feel about the Cowboy being thrown in jail due to his dealings?

Spurrier’s question was answered quickly, as the Alienated Alien, Optic Ink Eye, appeared on the front porch! The OIE saw Spurrier, and quickly went off in one of his fits of insanity, spouting undecipherable sounds that have been said to be words in his native tongue. Spurrier cussed as Johnny Pizzazz, Vinnie Love, a newly-healed Betram Bunny appeared a moment later. Coach Spurrier thought that Reverend Reynolds would have kept this all a secret. Yet, from the looks of things, Reynolds had told everyone! They knew he had taken Snigger, and most likely, about his indirect action that resulted in the Cowboy’s arrest! How was he going to prevent his old friends in the Rebellion from getting in the way of his marriage to the horse he loved more than life itself? He was about to find out…

COMING IN OCTOBER: THE RESOLUTION OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF DOOM STORYLINE!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2011 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Pitt Report

Coach Spurrier is victorious!

Shit Pitt--Shit’s End INTERLUDE 2: “Rebellion‘s Rendezvous”

Coach Spurrier, Betram Bunny, and Vinnie Love traveled along the path back to the rebellion’s base. Spurrier rode on Snigger the horse, looking proud. He couldn’t wait to show the rebellion that he had accomplished exactly what he said he would by rescuing Betram and Vinnie Love from the Shitlings! Spurrier felt that instead of sitting around “making plans,” the rebellion should have been taking action as he had. His efforts had even been rewarded with a bonus in the capture of Shitlings Dr. Dyson and Gwala the Zombie, who were hitched to Snigger’s saddle and walking behind the group. Oh yes, Spurrier was riding high! His only regret was that he was unable to locate the rebellion leader, “Chance” Clemens -- the Rosewood Cowboy. The Cowboy had gone off solo as Spurrier had, only he went straight to the source of the “shit” by attacking the Demon of Defecation himself, SHITHEAD! No one had seen him since.

Betram, who had gotten drunk with Spurrier the night before, and asked him if he liked bunnies, now had a crush on the Cocky Coach! The Bisexual Bunny had been in love with some strange characters in the past, but he felt that Spurrier was special. The Coach loved him for his animalistic qualities, something he’d never experienced in a relationship before. Spurrier, in his drunken state, had even let Betram sit on his lap as they watched the sun rise together! Betram was all giddy inside, but then he remembered his face, and how he was scarred. Betram hadn’t been able to get Dr. Dyson to fix it, but now that he was their prisioner, maybe he could force him! Betram was hopeful and kept looking up at Spurrier lovingly as they walked.

Betram Bunny is still horribly

disfigured!

Meanwhile, the most unexpected person Spurrier found captured by the Shitlings was Vinnie Love. The Leader of Love was thought to have been changed by Shithead into Vinie Hate, the total opposite of himself. Turns out that Vinnie Hate was actually Vinnie Love’s twin brother, Bennie! The Love Man could not be broken by Shithead, so he was thrown into a cell and replaced by his brother as Vinnie Hate, the Daddy of Dislike! How Love was captured, the attempts by Shithead to change him, and his relationship with his twin brother was a story yet to be told.

Vinnie Love is back!

Spurrier stopped Snigger in his tracks as he saw something up ahead. It was Johnny Pizzazz and the rest of the rebellion, on their way to execute Pizzazz’s plan to end the Shit War! The two groups compared stories, and Spurrier talked about how great he was. Finally, they all came together on Johnny Pizzazz’s plan and marched on to put it into action! Would this truly be the end of Shithead’s rule, or would the rebellion fall against the dark power of the Demon of Defectation? To be continued…

New Episodes return Monday December 27, 2010

All characters, stories, photos, and performances are
(C) Copyright 2010 Joshua Dyson