New Ink Pitt--Reading of Riches

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 2 of 4:  “Reading of Riches” 

Books lined the walls of the hidden library in the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  The Potbellied Ninja was filled with joy!  Perhaps his search to find something to help Trodemus was not in vain after all.  Upon closer inspection, the Ninja confirmed that the library was physically real and not an illusion.  However, the physical space that it occupied shouldn't exist...at least not as the library.  That space should have included part of his room and Trodemus' room, since they both shared opposite sides of the same wall.  This library was a single room apart yet somehow between those two rooms.  The Potbellied Ninja decided the room had to be magical, and that somewhere in this library was a way to rescue Trodemus!

Potbellied Ninja then began to pull books off the shelves and look through them for some answer.  He was disappointed when he found that the books were blank, with no writing inside and no titles on the covers.  Potbellied Ninja would not give up hope though.  There were many books in the library, and he felt one of them had to have some content.  The Ninja feverishly searched the books page by page and threw the blanks onto the floor.

Belinda heard the noise from next door and got out of bed.  She walked out of Trodemus' room wearing one of his black robes.  It covered most of her body since it was 3 sizes too big for Trodemus.  It did not cover, of course, Belinda's cleavage,  which was clearly visible in the open front of the robe.  It appeared that Belinda had been sleeping in the nude, and was still nude underneath!  She walked towards the Ninja's room and saw the new doorway to the library.  She looked into the library and saw the Ninja on the floor with a pile of books.

"Ninja...what are you doing?"

The Potbellied Ninja turned to see Belinda, and her cleavage caught his attention for several moments.

"Well?  Where did...this...come from?"

The Ninja shook his head, breaking his fixation on her breasts.  He looked up at Belinda's face again.  "It magic library.  It appear when I thump against wall.  I search the Psychic Parlor for something to help my master and I find it."

"Wow!  A magic library!  Didn't know Troddie had this!"

The Ninja threw another blank book on the floor.  "I not know either.  All I know is that maybe it have magic book that have something to help rescue the master!  If I could only find one book that not blank!"

Belinda slowly made her way in, causing the Ninja's attention to turn once more to her breasts.  "Blank books? Who keeps a library full of blank books?"  Belinda realized that the Ninja was looking at her clevage.  She smiled a bit before pulling the robe closed over her chest.  "Well, let me help you look through these.  Gonna take you all night by yourself!"

Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja searched for hours, until they finally got to the last book.  Belinda took it from the shelf  and was astonished to see that this book had a title!  On the cover it read, The Book of Riches.

NEXT:  REDEEMING THE RICHES

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

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are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
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New Ink Pitt--Belinda & the Ninja

New Ink Pitt--Absence of Doom pt. 1 of 4:  “Belinda & the Ninja” 

The Ninja checks out Belinda!

Belinda gasped.  She was back at the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  Had the attempt to rescue the kidnapped Trodemus from Mr. Peepers' Whitespace failed?  Chief Blacktoes and his wife, Sunny, had used an Indian Transport Dance to get them there.  Belinda was reunited with her Trodemus for a brief instant before Mr. Peepers said that she should, "Go Fatty, GO!"  He then used his godlike power to return Belinda to the Psychic Parlor.

"That little geek Peepers better not harm my man!  The nerve of him...calling me fat!  I'm not fat...I'm pleasingly plump!"  Belinda ranted to the empty house.  She then wondered how Blacktoes, Sunny, the Potbellied Ninja, and the Dark Cat would fare against Peepers.  She felt confident that they would find some way to defeat Peepers and return Trodemus home!

Belinda's hope wavered when the Potbellied Ninja appeared, holding a frightened Dark Cat in his arms.

"B-Belinda?  What happen?  Peepers made ninja sword disappear!  I grab up Dark Cat and then I end up back here!!"  Potbellied Ninja had gotten a glimpse of the naked Sunny Big Breasts and was a bit distracted.  Peepers had made her stripper gear disappear at the same moment he had sent the Ninja and the Cat away.

"He sent you back, too?  Now our only hope lies with Blacktoes, my man, and that... ahem...hussy, Sunny!"  Belinda was hopeful.  Hours passed as Belinda and the Potbellied Ninja sat in the living room of the Psychic Parlor, waiting for the return of their friends.  Night fell, and they decided to retire to bed.  The Ninja showed Belinda to Trodemus' bedroom.  She walked in and did a little stretch that held the Ninja's attention.
Belinda knew he was watching despite being turned away from him.  She quickly turned around and caught him eyeing her.  She smiled sexily.

"Um...don't you have your own room?"
The Ninja struggled to find his words.  "Oh...yes...I.it down the hall!  I go now!"
"Wait," Belinda walked over to the Ninja.  "Why do you talk that way?"
"What way?"  The Ninja was confused.
"You're Asian, aren't you?"  Belinda questioned.
The Potbellied Ninja bowed his head humbly.  "Yes, I Japanese.  I trained in the Martial Arts like many Japanese people.  I use my skills to protect Master Trodemus, when he here."
Belinda shook her head in disbelief.  "Wasn't sure if you were Asian...wasn't sure if you were real at all, with that Kung Fu stereotype you do."
The Ninja looked even more confused.
"Never mind.  It's just that...I've never seen a...chubby ninja.  Seems kinda American to me!  I should know, because I'm not exactly a size 6!"  Belinda twisted her mouth in frustration when she realized the Ninja seemed to have no idea what she was talking about!
"Well, off to bed I guess.  Hopefully, I'll wake up to see my Troddie safe and sound in this bed with me!  Good night, Ninja."

"Good night, Belinda-san. Oyasuminasai."  The Ninja then walked out, closing the door behind him.  He moved towards his bedroom down the hall, but he could not rest.  It was his duty to serve and protect his master, Trodemus, and he would stop at nothing to find a way to rescue him!  He walked into his room and meditated between eating raisin cakes.  The Potbellied Ninja would need much fuel if he was to find an answer!

Finally, it occurred to him that perhaps Trodemus had something in the Psychic Parlor that could be of assistance.  The Ninja had witnessed the fortune-telling powers of Doom in the past, and felt that perhaps he had a crystal ball or some other talisman that could contact him!  He began to search the house, hoping Trodemus would forgive his intrusion into the more private areas such as the Study of Doom and the RestDoom (Trodemus' private bathroom).  He searched everywhere, but turned up nothing of importance.

Exhausted, the Ninja collapsed against the wall between Trodemus' room and his own.  He thumped against the wall once and slid his back down it into a seated position on the floor.  He then lightly banged his head against the wall twice in frustration.  There was a bright flash of light, and then the Ninja looked back to see that there was now an opening in the wall where he had rested!  It was a doorway, and inside was a library full of books!

NEXT:  READING OF RICHES

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Peyton's Predicament

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 6 of 6:  "Peyton's Predicament"

Peyton is up a tree!

Mr. Clementine walked out of Monica's trailer at sunrise to see if his sweater and pants were dry.  At the clothes line, he discovered that his sweater was missing!  He gathered his pants, and discussed the matter with Monica over breakfast.  They concluded that it was most likely the work of Peyton the problem child.  Monica vowed to make him confess between takes and get him to return the sweater.

Monica and Clementine arrived on the set later, and Clementine was given his own actor's chair along with the script to read.  He was set to do a reading of a scene that was very similar to his arrival on the island, with Monica as a native discovering Clementine and the children after being shipwrecked.  The child castaways in Child Castaways are not alone on an island, but are accompanied by their camp counselor, now played by Mr. Clementine!  Everyone was in place and in costume except for Peyton.  Jeffery the director sent someone to find him.  A quick search of his trailer and other areas of the set turned up nothing!  Then, a crew member who was taking a break out near the beach came running up to the set.  He asked if anyone had a ladder, because Peyton was stuck in a tree!

Mr. Clementine, Monica, Jeffery, and the children all ran out to the trees where Peyton was.  They found him as the crew member had stated...up in a tree!  The Problem Child was hanging from a branch and pitching a fit about his predicament!  Peyton was suspended from the tree by Mr. Clementine's missing sweater, which he now wore!

NEXT:  BELINDA & THE NINJA

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Monica's Status

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 5 of 6:  "Monica's Status"

Monica likes Clementine Shirtless!

A shirtless Mr. Clementine stood outside Monica's trailer. Having just hung his sweater on the line to dry, he was now trying to figure out what to do with his pants.  Monica then emerged from her trailer with some clothes in hand.  She smiled at the sight of the skinny white frame of Mr. Clementine.

"Oh!  I didn't know you were already getting undressed."  Monica's eyes flashed a different message as she turned away.  "Here are the clothes I promised."  She handed him some shorts and a t-shirt that were bought for the movie but never used.

"Thank you."  Clementine smiled.  "I think I'll go into these bushes and finish changing."

"You don't have to."  Monica looked directly at him again.  "You could finish in my trailer...um...in the bathroom.  Take a shower too, if you want."

Clementine agreed, and walked into the trailer with Monica.  Clementine noticed some pictures in the living room, but did not have time to ask about them, as Monica ushered him into the bathroom.  Clementine then removed his pants and took a shower.

Clementine walked out of the bathroom in his fresh clothes, to find Monica out of costume, and also in shorts and a t-shirt!  The "native islander" look had been replaced with a modern, girl next door appearance.  The only thing that marked Monica as being a bit exotic was her Samoan features.  She had let her long dark hair down, and appeared to Clementine as being twice as beautiful as when she wore that feathered headdress!

"Um, hello.  Who are you and where is Monica?"  Clementine joked and flirted simultaneously.

Monica smiled.  "Hi!  It's me!  This is what I look like when I'm not playing a tribal Samoan woman...ha!  You look quite different yourself!  Hardly recognized you without your Mr. Rogers sweater!"

Clementine laughed.  "Well it's a funny story...on my way to the land of make-believe...one of those damned puppets stole my sweater!"

Monica cracked up started rolling around on the couch where she reclined.  Once she caught her breath she said, "Oh, Percy, you are something else!  Do you have a woman that you make laugh like this on a regular basis?"

Clementine frowned a bit.  "Well, I was married once, but we had a difference of opinion and we divorced."

Monica looked concerned.  "A different opinion caused you to split?  Must’ve been something serious!"

Clementine sat down on the other side of the couch.  "My wife got into this religion that I wasn't particulary fond of.  It got so demanding that we decided a split was necessary."

"That sucks.  I've never been married, but I have a daughter."  Monica pointed to one of the pictures Clementine had seen before his shower.  "That's her.  She lives with me and my grandparents further inland.  Her father lives in the states and, beyond child support, has little to do with us.  I'm hoping that getting this movie role will help us financially."

"So how did you get hired on for Child Castaways?"  Clementine asked.

Monica brushed her long dark hair back.  "I answered a casting call for the movie when I found out they were shooting here in Tutuila!  Turns out, they needed lots of native people, and I got cast as female lead because I had the best native look.  Besides this, I've been an extra for a few low-budget films."

"Oh." Clementine sounded disappointed.

"What?" Monica questioned.  

"It's just that...for a new actress...you certainly had me fooled out there on the beach!  I really thought you were a native!"  Clementine laughed.

Monica smirked and smacked Clementine in the shoulder.  "Well I am a native, silly!  Not hard to play that!  I'm just not a savage, which is what you thought I was!"  The two laughed and talked a bit more before retiring to bed.  Clementine slept on the couch, while Monica, with eyes still full of desire, reluctantly told him goodnight as she made her way to her bedroom.  As night came, Clementine's sweater swayed in the ocean breeze for a few moments before disappearing from the line!

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Working with Peyton

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 4 of 6:  “Working with Peyton”

Peyton is a PAIN!

 

Mr. Clementine cried out in agony!  Peyton was kicking him in the leg repeatedly as the muscular Monica struggled to pull him away!

"Peyton! Stop it! Now!"  Monica's demands were disregarded by the problem child as he went on kicking.

"C'mon Mister!  I wanna play!  C'mon Mister!"  Peyton giggled as Clementine fell to his knees.  "Aww, you're no fun Mister!"  Suddenly, Peyton felt himself being lifted up off the ground.  Monica had grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt and was raising him into the air!  She turned Peyton around and looked at him sternly.

"Peyton!  I told you not to act out!  Apologize to Mr. Clementine!  If you don't, I'm going to get Jeffery to remove you from the lead role and put Tommy in your place!"

"No!  You  can't tell me what to do!  You're not my mom!  Tommy can't play my role because he don't have no talent!"  Peyton frowned at Monica and crossed his arms.

"Peyton..." Monica spoke slowly, with just a bit of anger in her voice.  "I want you to apologize to Mr. Clementine NOW!"

Peyton stared at the angry face of Monica for a few moments.  The problem child felt a tinge of fear and finally agreed.  Monica then lowered him to the ground.

Peyton walked over to Clementine, who was getting up off his knees.  "I'm sorry, Mister.  It won't happen again!  Wanna shake on it?"  Peyton held out his hand.  Clementine put one hand forward and Peyton bit it!  Clementine screamed in pain as Peyton ran off into the woods, laughing.

Monica shook her head, then went over to help Clementine up.

"Sorry about that."  Monica frowned.

"It's okay.  At least I didn't get burned!"  Clementine supported himself on the strong arm of Monica as he rose to his feet.

"So, do you think you can deal with him?

Clementine thought for a moment.  "I've dealt with some difficult children, but Peyton really is a bit much!"  Monica laughed as Clementine smirked.

"I like the boy though."

Monica looked puzzled.  "REALLY?  Peyton is VERY difficult to like.  Sometimes, I just want to give him a good spanking!"

"Peyton is no exception.  Just give me time."

"Sounds good!  I like you, Percy.  You seem like a nice man.  You can stay in my trailer tonight if you like."

Clementine was caught off-guard.  Monica had suddenly warmed up to him!  "Oh, uh...I dont' know if I should..."

"It's okay, Percy!  It's not like we'll be sleeping together or anything!" She laughed as her eyes lit up slightly with desire.  "We do need to get those wet clothes off of you first!"  She smirked at Clementine, who blushed a bit.

"You can hang that sweater of yours on the line outside my trailer.  I have some other clothes that might fit you in the meantime."  Percy and Monica then walked from the set and towards Monica's trailer. Percy would later remove his sweater and place it on the line to dry along with his pants.  The sweater swayed in the ocean breeze until nightfall.

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--On the Set

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 3 of 6:  “On the Set” 

Peyton, Child Actor

Mr. Clementine was taken by Monica to the Child Castaways set, which was only a half mile from where Clementine had washed onto shore.  Clementine was checked out by the medics on the set and was found to be perfectly fine.  This meant Monica, who seemed to be growing fond of Clementine, could introduce him to the director and push the idea of Clementine stepping into the lead role of Child Castaways.

Monica took Clementine by the arm, and walked him to where the crew was cleaning up the set after the day of filming.  Clementine had noticed Monica's muscular arms before, but now as she grasped him tightly, he truly felt her strength!  He became caught up in lustful thoughts of her exotic beauty as they walked through the set.

Monica squeezed Clementine's arm tighter, almost as if she knew what thoughts he had been thinking.  Clementine nearly let out an "ouch" at the force of the squeeze.

"Percy?  Did you hear what I said?"

Clementine shook his head, wakening himself from his fantasy to see the director of Child Castaways standing right in front of them.  He was a rather tall man, who wore an apathetic stare.  He stood with both hands on his hips, waiting for Percy Clementine to answer.

"Um, I-I'm sorry Monica.  I was lost in my thoughts."

Monica smiled.  "It's okay.  This is Jeffery, the director."

Clementine then shook Jeffery's hand.  "My name is Percy Clementine.  I starred in a kid's show back in my hometown, on public access TV."

Jeffery frowned.  "Ok...and what does that have to do with me?"

Monica reached over and touched Jeffery on the shoulder.  "Jeffery.  I was thinking that Percy could try a few scenes...and maybe...if Fred isn't able to come back...he could take the lead role!"

"Well... I dunno.  Fred woudn't like it, but I don't see how he's gonna get back here...not after he got burned."  Jeffery shook his head in disbelief.  He then looked over at Clementine.   "Tell ya what, I-I'll give ya a shot at it.  If you're good with kids and umm, well...you'll be fine.  We'll start in the morning at 7 A.M."  Jeffery then turned and walked to his trailer without another word.

Clementine was a concerned.  "Monica, what happened to Fred?"

Monica looked down with a sad look on her face, then back up after gathering a huge smile.  "Well, Fred does his own stunts, and he kinda got too close to Peyton during one of the action scenes."

"Who's Peyton?"
"Peyton is the lead child actor of Child Castaways."  Monica sighed.  "How do I put this?  Peyton can be a bit difficult to deal with.  Sometimes, when he doesn't get his way, he um...acts out."

"What did he do?" Clementine searched Monica's face for the answer she seemed to be avoiding.

"Peyton brought a butane lighter onto the set, and during one of the scenes, he thew it into the campfire.  Fred was too close when the fire sparked up and burnt him badly."

At that moment, Clementine felt something tap him on the back.  He turned to see a little boy in jeans and a t-shirt facing him.

"Hi, I'm Peyton!"

NEXT:  WORKING WITH PEYTON

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Clementine Cast

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 2 of 6:  “Clementine Cast” 

Mr. Clementine to star in Child Castaways?

Monica, the Samoan lead actress for the Child Castaways movie, stood up, pulling Mr. Clementine off the ground with her.  Clementine was astonished to see that she was a foot taller than him.  She was also more muscular than the skinny Clementine, with the powerful arms and legs of an athlete!  Her strength was evident, but it did not subtract one bit from her overall sexiness.   Monica had beautiful eyes, luscious lips, and was endowed in all the right places.  Clementine was both intimidated and interested in the exotic woman.

"So what's your name and how'd you get out there in the ocean?"

Clementine knew he couldn't tell her about the Pirate trying to kill him because of his service to Sh*thead.  "My name is Percy.  I...was on a cruise ship and fell overboard.  I don't...remember what happened after I hit the water.  Maybe the impact knocked me unconscious?"

Monica frowned.  "Oh Percy, I'm so sorry!  You may need more medical attention!  We have medics on set that can check you out."

"That...sounds good.  Thank you.  So, Monica, what is this movie about?"  Clementine walked beside Monica from the beach and towards the trees.

Monica smiled.  "Isn't it obvious?  Child Castaways is about some shipwrecked children living on an island.  Separated from their parents, they are forced to form their own society."

Clementine smirked.  "I think I read a book like that before.  I'm sure you've heard of Lord of the Fl--"

"Stop!  We're not allowed to mention that story!  The director doesn't want people to realize he used that as source material!"  Monica rolled her eyes.  "So it's not an original idea, but what is these days?"

"I can attest to that." Clementine stated.  "I used to have a children's show and my character was patterned after a certain famous character on educational television."

Monica's eyes grew big and she placed a hand on Clementine's shoulder.  "Wait!  You were on TV?!?"

Clementine shook his head.  "Well, yes.  I had two shows on public access TV in my area.  I don't suppose you've heard of The Clementine Show or Percy's Playtime, have you?"

Monica shook her head in ignorance. "No, but I can do an online search!"  She then pulled a mobile phone with a touch screen from her dress.

Clementine laughed.  "Hey, you're breaking character!"

"It's okay.  We've stopped filming for the day, because our lead actor hurt himself doing a stunt.  If he's not better in a few days, we may have to find a replacement.  I just finished a scene and was taking a walk on the beach when I found you.  Looks like I also found your Wahpedia page!"  Monica read over the information about Mr. Clementine's TV series.

"Oh wow, you had a great show going!  So, what happened with that?"

"Well, there were some contract issues and I chose to leave.  I got hired on by a new director for a...reality show...for a while."  Clementine was referring to his "employment" by Sh*thead.  "Having finished my role, I decided to go on a cruise to...where did you say this was again?  My head isn't quite right yet after that fall."

Monica looked concerned. "Tutuila, in American Samoa.  We need to get you checked out.  The set is just through these trees."

"HEY!  I just had an idea!"  Monica stopped walking.  If you're feeling well after the medics check you out, maybe the director will considering casting you in the lead role for Child Castaways!"

NEXT:  ON THE SET

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental