Shit Pitt--Monica's Status

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 5 of 6:  "Monica's Status"

Monica likes Clementine Shirtless!

A shirtless Mr. Clementine stood outside Monica's trailer. Having just hung his sweater on the line to dry, he was now trying to figure out what to do with his pants.  Monica then emerged from her trailer with some clothes in hand.  She smiled at the sight of the skinny white frame of Mr. Clementine.

"Oh!  I didn't know you were already getting undressed."  Monica's eyes flashed a different message as she turned away.  "Here are the clothes I promised."  She handed him some shorts and a t-shirt that were bought for the movie but never used.

"Thank you."  Clementine smiled.  "I think I'll go into these bushes and finish changing."

"You don't have to."  Monica looked directly at him again.  "You could finish in my trailer...um...in the bathroom.  Take a shower too, if you want."

Clementine agreed, and walked into the trailer with Monica.  Clementine noticed some pictures in the living room, but did not have time to ask about them, as Monica ushered him into the bathroom.  Clementine then removed his pants and took a shower.

Clementine walked out of the bathroom in his fresh clothes, to find Monica out of costume, and also in shorts and a t-shirt!  The "native islander" look had been replaced with a modern, girl next door appearance.  The only thing that marked Monica as being a bit exotic was her Samoan features.  She had let her long dark hair down, and appeared to Clementine as being twice as beautiful as when she wore that feathered headdress!

"Um, hello.  Who are you and where is Monica?"  Clementine joked and flirted simultaneously.

Monica smiled.  "Hi!  It's me!  This is what I look like when I'm not playing a tribal Samoan woman...ha!  You look quite different yourself!  Hardly recognized you without your Mr. Rogers sweater!"

Clementine laughed.  "Well it's a funny story...on my way to the land of make-believe...one of those damned puppets stole my sweater!"

Monica cracked up started rolling around on the couch where she reclined.  Once she caught her breath she said, "Oh, Percy, you are something else!  Do you have a woman that you make laugh like this on a regular basis?"

Clementine frowned a bit.  "Well, I was married once, but we had a difference of opinion and we divorced."

Monica looked concerned.  "A different opinion caused you to split?  Must’ve been something serious!"

Clementine sat down on the other side of the couch.  "My wife got into this religion that I wasn't particulary fond of.  It got so demanding that we decided a split was necessary."

"That sucks.  I've never been married, but I have a daughter."  Monica pointed to one of the pictures Clementine had seen before his shower.  "That's her.  She lives with me and my grandparents further inland.  Her father lives in the states and, beyond child support, has little to do with us.  I'm hoping that getting this movie role will help us financially."

"So how did you get hired on for Child Castaways?"  Clementine asked.

Monica brushed her long dark hair back.  "I answered a casting call for the movie when I found out they were shooting here in Tutuila!  Turns out, they needed lots of native people, and I got cast as female lead because I had the best native look.  Besides this, I've been an extra for a few low-budget films."

"Oh." Clementine sounded disappointed.

"What?" Monica questioned.  

"It's just that...for a new actress...you certainly had me fooled out there on the beach!  I really thought you were a native!"  Clementine laughed.

Monica smirked and smacked Clementine in the shoulder.  "Well I am a native, silly!  Not hard to play that!  I'm just not a savage, which is what you thought I was!"  The two laughed and talked a bit more before retiring to bed.  Clementine slept on the couch, while Monica, with eyes still full of desire, reluctantly told him goodnight as she made her way to her bedroom.  As night came, Clementine's sweater swayed in the ocean breeze for a few moments before disappearing from the line!

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Working with Peyton

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 4 of 6:  “Working with Peyton”

Peyton is a PAIN!

 

Mr. Clementine cried out in agony!  Peyton was kicking him in the leg repeatedly as the muscular Monica struggled to pull him away!

"Peyton! Stop it! Now!"  Monica's demands were disregarded by the problem child as he went on kicking.

"C'mon Mister!  I wanna play!  C'mon Mister!"  Peyton giggled as Clementine fell to his knees.  "Aww, you're no fun Mister!"  Suddenly, Peyton felt himself being lifted up off the ground.  Monica had grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt and was raising him into the air!  She turned Peyton around and looked at him sternly.

"Peyton!  I told you not to act out!  Apologize to Mr. Clementine!  If you don't, I'm going to get Jeffery to remove you from the lead role and put Tommy in your place!"

"No!  You  can't tell me what to do!  You're not my mom!  Tommy can't play my role because he don't have no talent!"  Peyton frowned at Monica and crossed his arms.

"Peyton..." Monica spoke slowly, with just a bit of anger in her voice.  "I want you to apologize to Mr. Clementine NOW!"

Peyton stared at the angry face of Monica for a few moments.  The problem child felt a tinge of fear and finally agreed.  Monica then lowered him to the ground.

Peyton walked over to Clementine, who was getting up off his knees.  "I'm sorry, Mister.  It won't happen again!  Wanna shake on it?"  Peyton held out his hand.  Clementine put one hand forward and Peyton bit it!  Clementine screamed in pain as Peyton ran off into the woods, laughing.

Monica shook her head, then went over to help Clementine up.

"Sorry about that."  Monica frowned.

"It's okay.  At least I didn't get burned!"  Clementine supported himself on the strong arm of Monica as he rose to his feet.

"So, do you think you can deal with him?

Clementine thought for a moment.  "I've dealt with some difficult children, but Peyton really is a bit much!"  Monica laughed as Clementine smirked.

"I like the boy though."

Monica looked puzzled.  "REALLY?  Peyton is VERY difficult to like.  Sometimes, I just want to give him a good spanking!"

"Peyton is no exception.  Just give me time."

"Sounds good!  I like you, Percy.  You seem like a nice man.  You can stay in my trailer tonight if you like."

Clementine was caught off-guard.  Monica had suddenly warmed up to him!  "Oh, uh...I dont' know if I should..."

"It's okay, Percy!  It's not like we'll be sleeping together or anything!" She laughed as her eyes lit up slightly with desire.  "We do need to get those wet clothes off of you first!"  She smirked at Clementine, who blushed a bit.

"You can hang that sweater of yours on the line outside my trailer.  I have some other clothes that might fit you in the meantime."  Percy and Monica then walked from the set and towards Monica's trailer. Percy would later remove his sweater and place it on the line to dry along with his pants.  The sweater swayed in the ocean breeze until nightfall.

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE IN CHILD CASTAWAYS TAKE ONE

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--On the Set

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 3 of 6:  “On the Set” 

Peyton, Child Actor

Mr. Clementine was taken by Monica to the Child Castaways set, which was only a half mile from where Clementine had washed onto shore.  Clementine was checked out by the medics on the set and was found to be perfectly fine.  This meant Monica, who seemed to be growing fond of Clementine, could introduce him to the director and push the idea of Clementine stepping into the lead role of Child Castaways.

Monica took Clementine by the arm, and walked him to where the crew was cleaning up the set after the day of filming.  Clementine had noticed Monica's muscular arms before, but now as she grasped him tightly, he truly felt her strength!  He became caught up in lustful thoughts of her exotic beauty as they walked through the set.

Monica squeezed Clementine's arm tighter, almost as if she knew what thoughts he had been thinking.  Clementine nearly let out an "ouch" at the force of the squeeze.

"Percy?  Did you hear what I said?"

Clementine shook his head, wakening himself from his fantasy to see the director of Child Castaways standing right in front of them.  He was a rather tall man, who wore an apathetic stare.  He stood with both hands on his hips, waiting for Percy Clementine to answer.

"Um, I-I'm sorry Monica.  I was lost in my thoughts."

Monica smiled.  "It's okay.  This is Jeffery, the director."

Clementine then shook Jeffery's hand.  "My name is Percy Clementine.  I starred in a kid's show back in my hometown, on public access TV."

Jeffery frowned.  "Ok...and what does that have to do with me?"

Monica reached over and touched Jeffery on the shoulder.  "Jeffery.  I was thinking that Percy could try a few scenes...and maybe...if Fred isn't able to come back...he could take the lead role!"

"Well... I dunno.  Fred woudn't like it, but I don't see how he's gonna get back here...not after he got burned."  Jeffery shook his head in disbelief.  He then looked over at Clementine.   "Tell ya what, I-I'll give ya a shot at it.  If you're good with kids and umm, well...you'll be fine.  We'll start in the morning at 7 A.M."  Jeffery then turned and walked to his trailer without another word.

Clementine was a concerned.  "Monica, what happened to Fred?"

Monica looked down with a sad look on her face, then back up after gathering a huge smile.  "Well, Fred does his own stunts, and he kinda got too close to Peyton during one of the action scenes."

"Who's Peyton?"
"Peyton is the lead child actor of Child Castaways."  Monica sighed.  "How do I put this?  Peyton can be a bit difficult to deal with.  Sometimes, when he doesn't get his way, he um...acts out."

"What did he do?" Clementine searched Monica's face for the answer she seemed to be avoiding.

"Peyton brought a butane lighter onto the set, and during one of the scenes, he thew it into the campfire.  Fred was too close when the fire sparked up and burnt him badly."

At that moment, Clementine felt something tap him on the back.  He turned to see a little boy in jeans and a t-shirt facing him.

"Hi, I'm Peyton!"

NEXT:  WORKING WITH PEYTON

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2014
THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Clementine Cast

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 2 of 6:  “Clementine Cast” 

Mr. Clementine to star in Child Castaways?

Monica, the Samoan lead actress for the Child Castaways movie, stood up, pulling Mr. Clementine off the ground with her.  Clementine was astonished to see that she was a foot taller than him.  She was also more muscular than the skinny Clementine, with the powerful arms and legs of an athlete!  Her strength was evident, but it did not subtract one bit from her overall sexiness.   Monica had beautiful eyes, luscious lips, and was endowed in all the right places.  Clementine was both intimidated and interested in the exotic woman.

"So what's your name and how'd you get out there in the ocean?"

Clementine knew he couldn't tell her about the Pirate trying to kill him because of his service to Sh*thead.  "My name is Percy.  I...was on a cruise ship and fell overboard.  I don't...remember what happened after I hit the water.  Maybe the impact knocked me unconscious?"

Monica frowned.  "Oh Percy, I'm so sorry!  You may need more medical attention!  We have medics on set that can check you out."

"That...sounds good.  Thank you.  So, Monica, what is this movie about?"  Clementine walked beside Monica from the beach and towards the trees.

Monica smiled.  "Isn't it obvious?  Child Castaways is about some shipwrecked children living on an island.  Separated from their parents, they are forced to form their own society."

Clementine smirked.  "I think I read a book like that before.  I'm sure you've heard of Lord of the Fl--"

"Stop!  We're not allowed to mention that story!  The director doesn't want people to realize he used that as source material!"  Monica rolled her eyes.  "So it's not an original idea, but what is these days?"

"I can attest to that." Clementine stated.  "I used to have a children's show and my character was patterned after a certain famous character on educational television."

Monica's eyes grew big and she placed a hand on Clementine's shoulder.  "Wait!  You were on TV?!?"

Clementine shook his head.  "Well, yes.  I had two shows on public access TV in my area.  I don't suppose you've heard of The Clementine Show or Percy's Playtime, have you?"

Monica shook her head in ignorance. "No, but I can do an online search!"  She then pulled a mobile phone with a touch screen from her dress.

Clementine laughed.  "Hey, you're breaking character!"

"It's okay.  We've stopped filming for the day, because our lead actor hurt himself doing a stunt.  If he's not better in a few days, we may have to find a replacement.  I just finished a scene and was taking a walk on the beach when I found you.  Looks like I also found your Wahpedia page!"  Monica read over the information about Mr. Clementine's TV series.

"Oh wow, you had a great show going!  So, what happened with that?"

"Well, there were some contract issues and I chose to leave.  I got hired on by a new director for a...reality show...for a while."  Clementine was referring to his "employment" by Sh*thead.  "Having finished my role, I decided to go on a cruise to...where did you say this was again?  My head isn't quite right yet after that fall."

Monica looked concerned. "Tutuila, in American Samoa.  We need to get you checked out.  The set is just through these trees."

"HEY!  I just had an idea!"  Monica stopped walking.  If you're feeling well after the medics check you out, maybe the director will considering casting you in the lead role for Child Castaways!"

NEXT:  ON THE SET

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Shit Pitt--Sweater's Save

Shit Pitt--Child Castaways pt. 1 of 6:  “Sweater's Save”

Clementine meets Monica on the Island of Tutulia!

 

“YARRRRRR!!”  Terrance the Pirate growled with fury as he pushed the point of his sword blade into the back of storyteller, Percy Clementine.  Clementine was forced to walk the plank from Terrance’s ship to what was to be his watery grave below.  He stood precariously on the end of the plank with his arms bound by a heavy rope.  Another poke of the sword later, and Clementine fell to ocean water below.  Clementine’s screams rose up, until he finally sank into the water.  After a few minutes of silence, Terrance the pirate was satisfied, and sailed away.

Clementine sank downwards under the water.  He attempted to hold his breath, but he knew at some point he would run out of air.  When he could not hold it anymore and he succumbed to the water, he felt his consciousness fade as visions of happier times came to mind.  If this was to be his end, at least he'd die happy in his thoughts.  Clementine then blacked out.  The blue-green water of the ocean swirled around his dark blue sweater.  Suddenly, something stirred the water around Clementine's body.  The sweater began to change from blue to a dark red hue.  Energy began to emanate from it, and it burned through the ropes that held Clementine.  It then propelled him upwards and out of the water!  Energy from the sweater then pushed Clementine towards a nearby island where he washed on shore, still unconscious.  Clementine's sweater then returned to its normal dark-blue color and appeared to be wet from the ocean.

A young dark-skinned woman who was dressed like a native found Clementine.  She ran up to him, and realizing his predicament, quickly gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!  Clementine coughed up water and vomited a few moments later, as he awoke to see the beautiful woman before him.  After regaining himself, Clementine questioned the woman.

"W-where am I?  H-how'd I get out of the water?"
The woman responded.  "You're on the island of Tutuila, and you washed up on shore.  I gave you mouth-to-mouth and saved you!"

Clementine smiled.  "Thank you.  I thought I was gone for sure!  What's your name?  Wait...how did you know how to save me?  I mean you're dressed like a..."

"A savage?"  The woman laughed.  "I am a native of Tutuila, but I'm no savage!  My name is Monica, and you've stumbled onto the set of a movie!"

Clementine looked embarrassed.  "Oh...I'm sorry.  I misjudged you.  It's just with that outfit and all you...well..." Clementine looked the woman over for the first time.  Her tanned brown body and Samoan features were very beautiful and Clementine felt a bit intimidated.

Monica smirked.  "It's okay.  I get that from men all the time!  Let me help you up, and I'll take you to the director.  I'm the lead actress in Child Castaways."

NEXT:  CLEMENTINE CAST

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

New Ink Pitt--The Library

New Ink Pitt--Seeker of Specters pt. 6 of 6:  “The Library”

Potbellied Ninja & the Library

Ghosts!  The Psychic Parlor of Doom was filled with ghosts!  Resembling the original white-sheeted ghost that had been haunting Trodemus, the ghosts darted randomly around the lobby.  Trodemus walked in, followed by Belinda and the camera crew.

“Why have you specters invaded the Psychic Parlor of Doom?  Do you seek to destroy the remaining profits of Doom?”  When there was no answer, Trodemus prepared to make his way through the ghosts to his office to check his fireproof safe.

“Master!  Wait!”  It was the Potbellied Ninja, servant of Doom.  He walked down the staircase from upstairs, holding a large book.  Out of the book flew more ghosts!

“Ninja!  What are you doing?”

“Master, it this book!  It cause of everything!”  The Potbellied Ninja stretched forward to hand the book to Trodemus, and some Twinkies fell out of his martial arts outfit.

“What are you talking about?  What is this book and why is it releasing ghosts into the psychic parlor?”

Potbellied Ninja held the book closer to Trodemus, who was reluctant to take it.  “This book, or rather, a spell in it, cause your problems!”  Several more ghosts flew out once he finished his sentence.  He then closed the book, and all the ghosts disappeared!  Ninja smiled.  “See?”

Trodemus knows nothing of any spell book!  He has nothing of the sort!  The Prophet of Doom has no need of magic, as his powers are from within!  Where did you get it? Certainly not in the Psychic Parlor!”

Potbellied Ninja frowned.  “But, Master!  I find it in the library!”

Trodemus looked stunned.  “What library?  The Psychic Parlor of Doom has no library! There is no money in clients wandering around and reading books for free!”

Potbellied Ninja signalled for Trodemus, Belinda, and the camera crew to follow him upstairs.  The Ninja led them down the hall past Trodemus’ and Belinda’s room.

“Bah!  Where is this library? There is nothing here but a wall!”  The Potbellied Ninja then went over and tapped the middle of the wall three times.  There was a bright flash of light that caused everyone to shield their eyes.  When it was over, they looked to see a doorway in the middle of the wall!  Through the doorway was a huge library filled with books!

“Here is library, Master!”

“How is this possible?  There are no secrets the Psychic Parlor of Doom holds that Trodemus, Prophet of Doom, does no know!”

Belinda put her hand on Trodemus’ shoulder.  There was a look of concern on her face.  “Troddie, that’s not entirely true.  The Ninja and I have something to tell you…”

NEXT:  SWEATER OF SHIT
WEDNESDAY, JULY 30, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

New Ink Pitt--Bingo Hall Investigation

New Ink Pitt--Seeker of Specters pt. 5 of 6:  “Bingo Hall Investigation”

Blacktoes & Sunny Big Breasts

 

Trodemus, Belinda, and the camera crew for TRODEMUS: SEEKER OF SPECTERS entered Chief Blacktoes’ bingo hall,  located within the same townhouse-style duplex as the Psychic Parlor of Doom.  Bright lights and all sorts of mechanical sounds bombarded their senses.  A look around revealed that the bingo hall had become a full-blown Las Vegas-style casino!  There were 3 walls of slot machines surrounding several tables for blackjack, craps, and roulette.  In the back, barely visible behind all the bright light, was Blacktoes’ wife, Sunny Big Breasts, pole dancing for some happy customers!

BELINDA--TRODEMUS’ ASSISTANT AND GIRLFRIEND
“My Troddie is all mad because he thinks Blacktoes had something to do with the haunting, but all I wanna do is go play the slots!”

“Bah!  Blacktoes has improved his business!  He finally learned that senior citizen Bingo night doesn’t pay the bills!  Yet, all this costs much to acquire.   Is it somehow at the expense of Trodemus?  Where is Blacktoes?  I demand to see him, now!!”

Trodemus was met by some vest-wearing bouncers who threatened to throw him out if he continued to demand things.  Before things could escalate, Blacktoes came from the back to greet Trodemus.  On his arm was his half-dressed stripper wife, Sunny Big Breasts!

“Trodemus!  Welcome to Chief Blacktoes’ Casino!  Are you here to try your fortune?”

Trodemus frowned.  “Try my fortune?’ I’m a fortune TELLER!  I don’t have to TRY at all!  I have seen the future, and I know what is to come!  What I didn’t see however, is the YOU are the cause of this “haunting” of Doom!

Blacktoes looked puzzled.   “Trodemus.  Of what do you speak?  I know nothing of this “haunting.”  The Indian spirits of my ancestors are at rest.  There is nothing supernatural here…unless you caused it!”

“Bah!  The Seeker of Specters demands that you admit the truth…that you are the one behind the “ghost” and the moving objects!  Confess that you wish to see the profits of Doom shrivel and fade so that you can add the psychic parlor to your casino!”

“Yeah!  Admit it, Blacktoes!”  Belinda stood next to Trodemus, with her hands on her hips and her breasts shoved forward beneath the prison of her tight corset.  “And who are you looking at, Pocahontas?”  Belinda cut her eyes at Sunny.

“Belinda, Trodemus, what my husband says is true.”  Sunny covered the bra and panties she was wearing with a blanket.  “We’ve been here at the casino ever since our return from Peepers’ Whitespace, working on our business.  Surely you’ve seen the constant traffic of customers to the casino?”

“Bah!  Trodemus does not believe it!  The Seeker of Specters thinks this casino would be the perfect front to hide the evidence of your manufactured ‘haunting!’  So tell us, Blacktoes, where did you hide your ghost?”

Suddenly, the casino went dark as the slot machines stopped working and the lights went out.  Trodemus asked Blacktoes if he forgot to pay the power bill.  Before he could answer, the white-sheeted ghost appeared in the air above them, visible to all!  The camera crew tried to film it, but it quickly darted away towards the door!  Trodemus and company ran outside after it, and saw it on the doorstep of the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  They chased it inside, but upon entering, they beheld a frightening sight!  The lobby of the Psychic Parlor of Doom was now filled with not one, but DOZENS of ghosts!

NEXT:  SEEKER OF SPECTRES  pt. 6--The Library
WEDNESDAY, JULY 23, 2014
 THE PITT REPORT UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY 

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental