New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 6 of 12: “AmbASSadors Questioned”
With the interrogation of the Manly Man Gaymerica’s Closet (consisting of Just A Solider, Cracky, and the French Phallus) now over, Officer Bates turned his attention to the so-called AmbASSadors. The AmbASSadors are basically four other versions of the Manly Man Gaymerica, only each wears a different color and represents a different aspect of the Manly Man’s gayness. The only explanation given for all these versions of the Manly Man is that somehow the Manly Man’s time in the original Whitespace created them. All of them were the Manly Man, but none of them seemed to be the original Manly Man that existed in the original Ink Pitt. Officer Bates felt something wasn’t right with them. What were they? Were they clones of Manly Man? That sounded a whole lot more plausible than them being alternate reality versions of him. Bates dismissed these explanations in favor of a more realistic one--these “Manly Men” had to be a bunch of fakes. They had to be some guys who decided to dress up like their idol, the Man Princess, Manly Man.
Bates remembered that Manly Man owned his own gym, and thought that perhaps these guys were some of the members. Bates laughed at that--Manly Man’s “Members!” So in order to prove that they were not the Manly Man, or at least prove they were not the same guy, Bates had them all fingerprinted. He also had dna extracted, hair samples taken, and used just about every other means of identification at his disposal to prove their differences. The results were conclusive, but they only served to prove the impossible. The AmbASSadors were all the same man, in ever single way! From the dna on up to their body type and overall appearance, these four Manly Men were all the same! How this was possible baffled Officer Bates. He had no dna from the original Manly Man, so there was nothing to compare his findings to, but the fact that there were four men who looked exactly the same with the same fingerprints and the same dna should have been impossible! Even if they were somehow an identical foursome similar to twins, it should still be impossible! No two people on earth were exactly the same. There are always differences! However, the AmbASSadors seemed to be the exception to that rule.
Bates’ head was hurting from all the extra effort he had to put forth to find out about the AmbASSadors, and realized that what they were didn’t matter. What mattered was who shot the other Manly Man in the arm. He decided to interrogate them finally. He lined up Manly Man Midnight, Manly Man Yellow, Manly Man Safari, and Manly Man Brown in the interrogation room. Bates asked where they were when Gaymerica was shot. All replied that they were on stage with Manly Man, which surveillance cameras confirmed. Bates then asked if they were jealous of Gaymerica’s success, and if one of them wanted to be in that position. Manly Man Midnight leaned forward and said, “Officer Bates…I would like to be in that position.” Bates head turned with accusing acuity. He just knew that Midnight was about to crack. “You would, huh?” Midnight, who spoke as the original Manly Man, only with a deeper voice, which matched the deepness of his dark skin. “Yes sir I admit it. I would like to be in that position…with you!!” Bates backed off quickly. “What the hell?!? Get away from me you fag! I should lock you up for that!” Midnight snickered. “But I really do want to be on top of you!” Bates snarled. “Shut up! Just shut up! I’m going to talk to the Yellow fag here.” Bates walked over to Manly Man Yellow. What about you, Sunny D? I bet you were planning to shoot Gaymerica weren’t you? You probably hired a hitman to do it, didn’t you? Manly Man Yellow just looked around. “Um, no sir! I could never do something like that, Mr. Bates! I just love everybody! I’m just like the sunshine--bright, happy, and beautiful! Manly Man Yellow leaned forward and whispered in Bates’ ear. “You know what else I am? I’m also GAY!” Bates put his hand up and shoved Yellow away. “Damn! Get away from me!” Bates looked over at Manly Man Brown and Safari, only Safari was missing. “Hey where’d Zebraface go?” Bates then felt something touch him in the butt! He lept forward, letting out a shout! “What the hell?!?” Bates looked back to see Manly Man Safari down on all fours. He had been sniffing Bate’s butt! Bates got really upset, and motioned for some other officer to come in. “That’s it! You’re all going to a holding cell until we can sort this mess out! Bunch ‘a fags!!”
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: KING TROSTELUS QUESTIONED
WEDNESDAY MARCH 25, 2015
 |
| The AmbASSadors! |
With the interrogation of the Manly Man Gaymerica’s Closet (consisting of Just A Solider, Cracky, and the French Phallus) now over, Officer Bates turned his attention to the so-called AmbASSadors. The AmbASSadors are basically four other versions of the Manly Man Gaymerica, only each wears a different color and represents a different aspect of the Manly Man’s gayness. The only explanation given for all these versions of the Manly Man is that somehow the Manly Man’s time in the original Whitespace created them. All of them were the Manly Man, but none of them seemed to be the original Manly Man that existed in the original Ink Pitt. Officer Bates felt something wasn’t right with them. What were they? Were they clones of Manly Man? That sounded a whole lot more plausible than them being alternate reality versions of him. Bates dismissed these explanations in favor of a more realistic one--these “Manly Men” had to be a bunch of fakes. They had to be some guys who decided to dress up like their idol, the Man Princess, Manly Man.
Bates remembered that Manly Man owned his own gym, and thought that perhaps these guys were some of the members. Bates laughed at that--Manly Man’s “Members!” So in order to prove that they were not the Manly Man, or at least prove they were not the same guy, Bates had them all fingerprinted. He also had dna extracted, hair samples taken, and used just about every other means of identification at his disposal to prove their differences. The results were conclusive, but they only served to prove the impossible. The AmbASSadors were all the same man, in ever single way! From the dna on up to their body type and overall appearance, these four Manly Men were all the same! How this was possible baffled Officer Bates. He had no dna from the original Manly Man, so there was nothing to compare his findings to, but the fact that there were four men who looked exactly the same with the same fingerprints and the same dna should have been impossible! Even if they were somehow an identical foursome similar to twins, it should still be impossible! No two people on earth were exactly the same. There are always differences! However, the AmbASSadors seemed to be the exception to that rule.
Bates’ head was hurting from all the extra effort he had to put forth to find out about the AmbASSadors, and realized that what they were didn’t matter. What mattered was who shot the other Manly Man in the arm. He decided to interrogate them finally. He lined up Manly Man Midnight, Manly Man Yellow, Manly Man Safari, and Manly Man Brown in the interrogation room. Bates asked where they were when Gaymerica was shot. All replied that they were on stage with Manly Man, which surveillance cameras confirmed. Bates then asked if they were jealous of Gaymerica’s success, and if one of them wanted to be in that position. Manly Man Midnight leaned forward and said, “Officer Bates…I would like to be in that position.” Bates head turned with accusing acuity. He just knew that Midnight was about to crack. “You would, huh?” Midnight, who spoke as the original Manly Man, only with a deeper voice, which matched the deepness of his dark skin. “Yes sir I admit it. I would like to be in that position…with you!!” Bates backed off quickly. “What the hell?!? Get away from me you fag! I should lock you up for that!” Midnight snickered. “But I really do want to be on top of you!” Bates snarled. “Shut up! Just shut up! I’m going to talk to the Yellow fag here.” Bates walked over to Manly Man Yellow. What about you, Sunny D? I bet you were planning to shoot Gaymerica weren’t you? You probably hired a hitman to do it, didn’t you? Manly Man Yellow just looked around. “Um, no sir! I could never do something like that, Mr. Bates! I just love everybody! I’m just like the sunshine--bright, happy, and beautiful! Manly Man Yellow leaned forward and whispered in Bates’ ear. “You know what else I am? I’m also GAY!” Bates put his hand up and shoved Yellow away. “Damn! Get away from me!” Bates looked over at Manly Man Brown and Safari, only Safari was missing. “Hey where’d Zebraface go?” Bates then felt something touch him in the butt! He lept forward, letting out a shout! “What the hell?!?” Bates looked back to see Manly Man Safari down on all fours. He had been sniffing Bate’s butt! Bates got really upset, and motioned for some other officer to come in. “That’s it! You’re all going to a holding cell until we can sort this mess out! Bunch ‘a fags!!”
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: KING TROSTELUS QUESTIONED
WEDNESDAY MARCH 25, 2015
All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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