New Ink Pitt--Assassination Attempt pt. 5 of 12: “French Phallus Questioned”
After what happened last time in the Manly Man Gaymerica’s hospital room, Officer Rick Bates refused to let any more suspects escape. Cracky, the Crack-Carrying Chicken, had gotten his feathers ruffled and flew out the window to freedom before the interrogation got to be too much for him. Bates took the rest of the suspects, with the exception of Gaymerica and his First Man, Billy “Gay” Hydrick, down to the station to continue the interrogation. Someone tried to kill Gaymerica, or was working to make it look that way. Bates was going to find out what was going on, and who was responsible! Next up for questioning was the French Phallus, the last of the Presidential “Closet.” Bates eyed the big penis suspiciously, wondering how the hell something like him could even exist without being attached to a body of some kind. The French Phallus was basically a giant, 3-foot high penis with 2 feet of legs. It stood erect at all times, and a face sat on the underneath side, right above the basketball-sized balls! Officer Bates was pretty sure it spoke French, or at least in a French accent, but that didn’t matter now. Bates stared a moment more and said, “My dick and balls stay hidden in pants when I’m out in public! Taking them out is indecent exposure! So, since you’re all “out there” like that, I really don’t have to question you at all. You’re already guilty of a crime! Take him away, men!” With that, two officers came over and cuffed the Phallus’ wrists, which were attached to two arms that sprouted out of each side of the “penis.” The Phallus began to protest, first in English, but as he became more distressed, it gave way to true French! “Damn foreigners,” Bates snapped.
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: AmbASSadors QUESTIONED
WEDNESDAY MARCH 18, 2015
 |
| The French Phallus! |
After what happened last time in the Manly Man Gaymerica’s hospital room, Officer Rick Bates refused to let any more suspects escape. Cracky, the Crack-Carrying Chicken, had gotten his feathers ruffled and flew out the window to freedom before the interrogation got to be too much for him. Bates took the rest of the suspects, with the exception of Gaymerica and his First Man, Billy “Gay” Hydrick, down to the station to continue the interrogation. Someone tried to kill Gaymerica, or was working to make it look that way. Bates was going to find out what was going on, and who was responsible! Next up for questioning was the French Phallus, the last of the Presidential “Closet.” Bates eyed the big penis suspiciously, wondering how the hell something like him could even exist without being attached to a body of some kind. The French Phallus was basically a giant, 3-foot high penis with 2 feet of legs. It stood erect at all times, and a face sat on the underneath side, right above the basketball-sized balls! Officer Bates was pretty sure it spoke French, or at least in a French accent, but that didn’t matter now. Bates stared a moment more and said, “My dick and balls stay hidden in pants when I’m out in public! Taking them out is indecent exposure! So, since you’re all “out there” like that, I really don’t have to question you at all. You’re already guilty of a crime! Take him away, men!” With that, two officers came over and cuffed the Phallus’ wrists, which were attached to two arms that sprouted out of each side of the “penis.” The Phallus began to protest, first in English, but as he became more distressed, it gave way to true French! “Damn foreigners,” Bates snapped.
*To see the events leading up to this story, check the Classic Pitt Report blog at http://classicpittreport.blogspot.com
NEXT: AmbASSadors QUESTIONED
WEDNESDAY MARCH 18, 2015
All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2015 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations
All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
NOW CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF THE MR. PEEPERS CHARACTER!!Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
Also available for purchase: the Peeper #5 for only 50 cents!
All-new issue of the comedy newsletter for Februrary 2015
Features Mr. Peepers' trip to Hooters & a 10th Anniversary Mr. Peepers poster!
No comments:
Post a Comment