Shit Pitt--Monica on the Yacht

Shit Pitt--Sway of the Sweater pt. 4 of 8:  Monica on the Yacht 

Monica walked onto the beach as the first signs of daylight began to brighten the sky.  She looked out towards the ocean and saw Terrance the Pirate's yacht.  She was a bit puzzled, as this stretch of Tutuila was deserted and supposed to be closed for the filming of Child Castaways.  There were no ports or fishing villages for a good mile, so seeing a yacht there was a bit odd.  Intrigued, she decided to take a closer look and hoped that maybe she'd find the missing Clementine.

The yacht was anchored closely to the shore, close enough that she could walk to it through some water.  Monica wished she had brought her swimsuit however, as her robe got wet and slowed her progress towards the boat.  She could have disrobed, but she didn't want whoever was on the yacht to see her naked, no matter how much of a native she was!  Monica smiled as she thought about how Clementine had already seen most or if not all of her during their lovemaking session!  She enjoyed his company a lot, and thought he felt the same way.  It would have been unlike him to run off after all that!

"YARR!  WHO GOES THERE?!?"  The voice of Peyton "the pirate" rang out across the water as he appeared on the deck of the yacht.

"Peyton?!?  What are you doing up there?"  Monica dreaded the answer as she sloshed through the water closer to the boat.  No doubt Peyton was up to some mischief yet again.

"Ms Monica!  I-I was just playin' pirate!  See?"  He pointed to his eye patch and bandanna.

"Peyton, get off of there--right now!"

"Aww  but Ms Monica--"

"No excuses!"

Peyton made a sad face, and when that didn't work, he smirked again.  He then laughed and turned to run.

"Ya gotta catch me first!"

Monica cursed under her breath as she scrambled to get after the problem child.  Her robe was soaked on the edges, making it heavier.  She struggled to climb up and board the yacht.  Finally, she reached the deck and hoisted herself over.

"Whew!  The prop boats in Child Castaways aren't this difficult!"  Monica shook off the slight fatigue from the climb and  stood to her feet.  As she did, she saw a strange sight.  "What the hell?!?"  Monica gasped as she looked across the deck to see Terrance the Pirate tied up and gagged..  He bounced around and kept trying to talk.  Monica cautiously walked towards him and removed the tape from his mouth.

"Wench!  Whoever ya be, leave my vessel and take the rug rat with ya!  Hearken to the words of Terrance the Terrible!  Yarr!"

Monica stared for several seconds before a huge smile came to her lips.  She then started laughing!

"Yarr how dare ya mock Terrance the Pirate?!?  If''n I was not trussed up right now, I'd pull out my sword and force ya ta walk the plank!  Yarrr!!"

"Are you for real?"  Monica was finally able to stop laughing.

"Yarr!  Land lubber!  I'll show ya how real I be, soon as I get loose!"

"Yarr?  Who says that?  Isn't that a bit dated?  Don't think I ever heard Captain Jack Sparrow say yarr.  This has gotta be a joke!  Did Jeffrey hire you as a surprise for the movie?"

Terrance squirmed in his ropes.  "Surprise?  Jeffery? Movie?  Terrance the Terrible knows nothing of these!  He does know that he likes to pillage and plunder and  a capture the booty!"

He looked Monica's body up and down as he said "booty" and smirked.

Before she could respond to his checking her out, she heard gunshots ring out from down the beach.  Monica dropped down and yelled for Peyton to stay wherever he was."

"Yarr that be my captors!  Probably got Clementine!"

Monica crawled over to Terrance and grabbed him by the vest.  "What?!?  Who's got Clementine?!?"

The Pirate's eyes grew big.  "Calls himself Shithead!"

Monica smirked.  "Shit--head?  What kind of name is Shithead?  That's more of an insult than a name."

Terrance shook his head.  "Don't matter.  Shithead be a very powerful enemy who's seekin' revenge.  Used his man, Halabaad, to attack my yacht and take me captive!"

Monica surveyed the beach and water around them again before turning back to Terrance.  "But why?"

Shithead wants revenge on me and the others who rebelled 'gainst him.  Came here ta recapture his other man--Percy Clementine!"

Monica's eyes grew big in astonishment.  "Percy?  Working with a kidnapper?!?  You talking about Percy Clementine, childrens show host?"

"Yarr that be the man!"  Terrance blurted out as he moved around and worked to untie his hands that were bound behind him.  "Me and Percy worked together on Percy's Playtime.    He needed a pirate and I got hired since I be a real pirate!"

Whatever, Buddy!" Monica frowned.  "Listen I need you to..."  Before Monica could finish her sentence, they heard more gunshots coming from down the beach.

"Percy!!!" Monica shouted.


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

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New Ink Pitt--Sidewalk Setup

New Ink Pitt--Trodemus: Street Psychic pt. 1 of 6 :  Sidewalk Setup 

Trodemus awoke with a gasp!  It was all a dream!  Everything he had experienced--from Belinda lying naked on a table and spending all their money on "Funky Poppers;" to the bizarre meeting with horrifying presidential candidates; to the distasteful comparisons of Trodemus with that strange fictional doctor; to the oversized, cross-dressing girly giant version of Stardust ripping open the Psychic Parlor--had all been a simple nightmare!

Trodemus moved his head around on something squishy.  He raised his hand and felt a familiar sensation.  He opened his eyes and saw that his head rested not on a pillow, but upon one of the fat thighs of Belinda, his Lady Love and Cherished Chubby!  Trodemus smiled a wicked smile and started to run his hand up and down Belinda's voluptuous leg.  He wasn't sure how they'd ended up in this position but he was sure it would lead up to some serious lovemaking between them yet again!

Suddenly, Belinda shifted and Trodemus' hand slid off her huge thigh.  Instead of their bed, Trodemus felt grass!  He then slid his hand a few inches more to find the cold, uncaring feel of the sidewalk!  Trodemus' eyes grew big.  He thought the nightmare was over.  He then heard Belinda above him, sniffling.

"Ohh Troddie!"

Trodemus looked up to see his lady love in tears, but looking wonderful in her sexy red corset!  Trodemus realized he was also fully clothed in his black robe.  He then slid up off of Belinda's large leg to comfort her.

"Belinda!  Why are you crying?"

Belinda opened her eyes as tears rolled down her pudgy cheeks and looked deeply with desperation at her man.

"I-It's the Parlor!  We've been kicked out!"

Trodemus grabbed Belinda by her rotund arms and got a bit excited feeling those curves!  He shifted lustful thoughts aside to further figure out the situation.

"What do you mean?  What's happened to the parlor?  Why are we on the street?”

Belinda pulled a tissue from her corset and blew her nose.  Trodemus cringed at the honking sound.

"S-Stardust--he kicked us out!  We're locked out of the parlor and the yard now that we didn't pay him the $250,000!"

Trodemus grimaced.  "How do you know this?  How did we end up on the street?  The last thing I remember was being in bed with you, and then I had a horrible nightmare about Stardust destroying the Psychic Parl-- Wait!  Is it still there?!?”  Trodemus looked up at the white picket fence that surrounded the Psychic Parlor grounds.  He stood up and looked over to see that the Psychic Parlor, and the adjoining Bingo Hall were still there!

"Troddie, all I remember was going to bed with you too in the Parlor.  I woke up to find us out here, sleeping on the sidewalk!  I tried to get through the fence, but I couldn't find the entrance!"

Trodemus' brow furrowed.  "No entrance?  Where did our gate go?"  He looked both ways along the fence and saw nothing.

"I don't know Honey!  It's just...gone!"  Belinda then started crying again as Trodemus hugged her up.

A passerby walked along the sidewalk up to them.

"Hey are you folks okay?"  Trodemus looked up at the person and saw the face of Stardust!  He was wearing a sparkly jogging suit sweater with a short skirt  as he ran in place.

"YOU!"  Trodemus shouted and made a leap for the Star-Crossed Cross dresser!  He was unable to make contact though, as Stardust's body became translucent, sending Trodemus flying right through!

"Yes!  It's me!  Stardust!  The SOLE PROPRIETOR--of the New Ink Pitt, and your former Psychic Parlor!"

"You told me that in my dream!"  Trodemus raised himself up from the street.

"Huh?"  Stardust looked puzzled.

"You came up the Psychic Parlor as this big girly giant and you told us that you were the Sole Proprietor and then you tore down the whole place!"

Stardust rolled his eyes like he didn't know what to think.  He then looked back at Trodemus.  "Trodemus--you are a beautiful young man--but I think you've got a wild imagination!  I didn't have anything to do with any dream!"  He then turned and giggled, revealing a translucent sparkly to do list that said:

Subjects to make Trodemus dream of to make him upset:
1.  Belinda spending too much money
2.  Politicians
3.  Giant Girly Stardust!
4.  Ripping up the Psychic Parlor

He then slid the list back into his dress, and somewhere down in his crotch area before turning around to face Trodemus again.  His body became totally visible again.

"Okay, so I had a little to do with the dream!  It was just in good fun and not real!"

Trodemus gritted his teeth in anger.

"It truly was all a dream, but this right now--it's not!  Belinda was correct.  I transported you out onto the street during your distracting dream and have now barred you from re-entry!  Until you are able to come up with the $250,000 to pay for the Psychic Parlor, you no longer have a home!"

"Bah! How do you propose that we make money with no Psychic Parlor?  Trodemus and his secretary need an establishment from which we can ply our wares!"

Stardust smiled.  "You have this sidewalk and any sidewalk within the area!  Surely the great Trodemus:  Psychic of Doom can draw money from anywhere!  A Sidewalk Setup sounds like an even better way to bring in customers being that you'll be visible to all passersby!"

With that, Stardust in his girly jogging suit disappeared, leaving Trodemus and Belinda to contemplate their fate.


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental


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Sketch Cards of the Week--50 Shades Darker

Shit Pitt--Peyton the Pirate

Shit Pitt--Sway of the Sweater pt. 3 of 8:  Peyton the Pirate

Peyton the problem child rambled through the trees towards the beach.  The cantankerous child was up to no good yet again as he spotted a yacht that had pulled up on shore right before day break.  He had watched and waited to see who would get off the boat.  Peyton thought he was dreaming when he saw a weird man in a white Middle Eastern style robe exit the yacht and walk down the beach.  Had Jeffrey secretly hired some new actor?  Closer examination of the man's face revealed that he didn't have a face at all!  In place of his face where these free-floating shapes that looked like turds!

"Ewwww!  Turd face!"  Peyton said under his breath.

The figure was clearly the now-possessed Halabaad, showing the face of Shithead, though Peyton was not aware of any of that.  He assumed it was some mask and that Jeffrey was most likely going to use this guy as a surprise to scare all the kids in Child Castaways!  Peyton got an idea and then smirked.  He'd make sure that that Jeffrey would be the one who'd be surprised as he made his way to the yacht!

***
A naked Monica stood over her bed, still looking down at her bra and panties, which had bound her to her bed up until a few moments before.

"What the hell happened last night?!?"  She reached down and picked up her bra and then dropped it back down on the bed, waiting for something happen.  When nothing stirred, she sighed in relief.

"Man, what did I have to drink last night?"

She then went from room to room in her cabin, looking for Clementine.  He was nowhere to be found, so she slipped on her robe and went outside and looked around.  When her search found nothing, she decided to make her way out to beach.  Dawn was approaching, so maybe she'd find Clementine out there in the morning light.

***

Back at the yacht, Peyton made his way onto the deck, only to find Terrance the Pirate tied up and gagged in a corner!

"Heyyy Mistah!  Oh wow!  You're a PIRATE!!!"  Peyton yelled excitedly.

Terrance shook his head and said "MMFF MMFF MMFF" with a fervor that clearly said to "Shut up!"  It was clear that Terrance didn't want the Shithead-possessed Halabaad coming back and capturing Peyton too.  Of course Peyton didn't understand, and thought that Terrance was playing Pirate with someone.

"Where are the other pirates, Mistah?  You must be the bad pirate if they got you tied up!  Should have left somebody ta watch you!"

Peyton then walked over and took Terrance's eye patch and bandanna, putting them both them both on his own head.  He then looked back at Terrance and smiled.

"Not ta worry Mistah Bad Pirate!  Peyton the Pirate is here ta keep an eye on ya!  YARRRR!!!"


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

-The Peeper #12 Comedy Newsletter--NSFW VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL now available!
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Sketch Cards of the Week--50 Shades Darker

New Ink Pitt--Raunchy Rachel

New Ink Pitt--St. Patty’s Day Sinner pt. 2:  Raunchy Rachel

Rachel eyed the tall stein of green beer on the table in front of her as she contemplated St. Patrick's Day.  As a good Mormon woman, she knew she should abstain from alcohol, but it looked so good!  She had realized that if she was going to be in a relationship with Lenny the Leprechaun, then a bit of partying was required!  So she licked her lips and reached for the stein, quickly turning it up and chugging it all down like an Irishman!

Rachel then slammed the empty stein down on the table and let out a huge burp!  The room looked fuzzy but she felt really good.  She tried to stand up but was a bit wobbly, and fell into another woman who was walking by.  The woman shoved her and Rachel took offense, letting out a series of cuss words that she didn't even know she had in her!  Rachel argued with the woman for a moment but was then led away by Lenny, who rushed in to save her!

"Well  Rachel, I see ye've finally come around to me lifestyle!"

Rachel drunkenly tried to speak.  "L-Lenny...you're s-s-so cute!  Weshould go and have sex somewheres later hehe!"

Lenny smirked.  "I won't argue with ye there, Lass!  Ye are so sexy right now!"

"Whhat?  Me?  Sexy?  I'm not sexy, but these are!"

Rachel pulled her top off and exposed her breasts to the entire pub they were in!  The Mormon Mommy was really starting to loosen up after that drink!  She then got up on the bar and the rest of her outfit was visible.  She was wearing a green skirt, fishnets, and high heels!   She stood up on top of the bar, topless and began dancing!  Her red hair flowed as she shook her head side to side and moved to the sounds of Irish music.  The pub attendees started clapping and cheering as Rachel began to take off the rest of her clothes!  She slid her green skirt down her long legs to reveal green panties.  As she bent over, she turned her butt towards Lenny and smiled at him!  She then threw her dress onto the lecherous leprechaun's face, followed by her panties!  Lenny sniffed them and winked at her.  Rachel stood up again, and was now completely naked except for her green fishnet stockings and high heels!  She continued dancing, but with more provocative movements as she lifted her arms up and squatted down.  Someone from the crowd yelled out, wanting to know where her pole was.  Rachel smirked and looked down at Lenny.  The leprechaun looked deviously back at his lady and then jumped onto the bar with her!  He then slid down his pants and everyone then knew where Rachel's pole was!  Rachel giggled and prepared to work her pole...in a number of ways...but before she could she awoke from her dream to the sound of Rufus yelling at Lenny from the outside of the mini van!  She looked up to see her Special Son laying on the windshield with his face pressed into the glass asking "Wenny" what he was doing in there with his mommy!


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

-The Peeper #12 Comedy Newsletter--NSFW VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL now available!
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Sketch Cards of the Week--50 Shades Darker

Peepers' Pitt--President Peepings & the Opposite Pitt

Peepers' Pitt--Costume's Charge pt. 6 of 6 :  President Peepings & the Opposite Pitt

Mr. Peepers stood in awe at the strange suited man who looked exactly like him!  The man had just risen up from a leather chair and walked out from behind his desk.  As he moved away, white light was evident around his suit.  In the next moment, the man's suit had shifted into a somewhat more otherworldly outfit!  This suited version of Mr. Peepers went from a regular business suit to a studded gray jacket with a white shirt and boots.  A belt with the Mr. Peepers eyeball motif appeared around his waist and the collar of his shirt became black with the eyeball in the center as well.  This "President Peepings" then walked up to Mr. Peepers with hand outstretched for a handshake.

"Welcome, Mr. Peepers.  It's great to finally meet you."

Peepers looked at the outstretched hand in distrust.  "Peepers not know what going on here, or how you get Peepers' face, but Peepers say you and funny suit get out of Peepers way, NOW!"

"It's okay, Peepers.  We mean you no harm.  We're all friends here."  Peepers looked past President Peepings at Glademus.

"Glademus no friend of Peepers!  He and fat girlfriend mess with Peepers and his Pitt!  He probably play another trick on Peepers by make him hallucinate and see imaginary twin!  Peepers have enough, Glademus!"

Glademus stood up and giggled.  "It's no trick this time, Peepers.  President Peepings is real!"

"Glademus crazy!  Why he lie about funny Peepers look-alike?  What purpose it serve?!?"

"No lies.  Just like I am an alternate version of your universe's Trodemus, Prophet of Doom,  President Peepings is an alternate reality version of you!  You have teleported into my universe...THE OPPOSITE PITT!"

"Peepers not care because he have power to stop Glademus now!"  The laser wands in his suit slid out quickly and Peepers raised them up and pointed them at the Prophet of Optimism!  Before he could act a burst of white light filled the room, knocking Mr. Peepers off his feet!  The white light had come from President Peepings glasses!  Mr. Peepers lay on the floor unmoving.

"Now, rise up Mr. Peepers!"  President Peepings commanded as Mr. Peepers suddenly stood to his feet!  "Now you are under my control!  For the first time, you are the victim of your very own strobe effect that exists in our special glasses!"

Mr. Peepers stood motionless, awaiting the next command of President Peepings...


All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

-The Peeper #12 Comedy Newsletter--NSFW VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL now available!
Print Version---$1.99
PDF Format--0.99

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
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First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$5.00  For Mature Readers.

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Sketch Cards of the Week--50 Shades Darker

DOLLS FOR SALE!

Peepers' Pitt--President Peepings Preview

Peepers' Pitt--President Peepings Preview

Last time in Costume's Charge pt. 5, Mr. Peepers activated teleportation powers in his new costume.  He escaped the Pittians, but found himself inside an oval office, facing Glademus and a suited gentlemen who looked similar to Mr. Peepers.  The gentleman's name is Peepings...President Peepings!  Who is he and why does he have Mr. Peepers' face?  What does this have to do with Glademus and the Whitespace power?  Find out next week, Wednesday February 22, 2017 in Costume's Charge pt. 6!  For now, take a look at my costume design for President Peepings!












All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

-The Peeper #12 Comedy Newsletter--NSFW VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL now available!
Print Version---$1.99
PDF Format--0.99

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$5.00  For Mature Readers.

Now available!  Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Issue #1 Preview Mini Comic

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New Ink Pitt--Stardust: Sole Proprietor

New Ink Pitt--Trodemus: Psychic Supreme pt. 3 of 3 :  Stardust:  Sole Proprietor

Trodemus stood ready on the top of his bed as the roof of his Psychic Parlor of Doom was ripped off, revealing the sparkly yellow and white face of the now giant Stardust!  Belinda had stopped screaming and now gasped as she looked over at her man.

"Troddie!  Your cloak!"  Belinda smirked as she realized Trodemus had jumped out of bed so quickly he'd forgotten he was naked.  She held the covers close to her own naked body and jumped out of bed to grab Trodemus' cloak from a nearby coat hanger.

"Worry not Belinda!  Trodemus will do it."  With that the Prophet of Doom waved his hand and the cloak was telekinetically lifted from the hanger and floated to it's place on his body.  Enveloped by his trademark black cloak, Trodemus was ready to do battle with the giant Stardust!  Belinda giggled at seeing her man all naked and still unafraid to take charge!  No doubt there would be a bedroom scene to follow that their reality show could not film yet again!

"Stardust!  Why do you disturb Trodemus of Doom in his home, and what do you hope to accomplish by ripping it apart?!?"

The huge hand of Stardust finished ripping off the roof and appeared to set it aside on the ground.  Now the full gigantic head of Stardust was visible, including his frilly reddish-orange bush that passed for hair!  He smiled a great smile and then spoke.

25"Trodemus!  What a beautiful man you are...when you have no clothes!  A perfect form to play dress up with!  My mind races with all the possibilities!"  He then inhaled a great big breath and giggled.

"Answer me, Stardust!  What are you doing here and how did you get so large?!?"

"Oh Trodemus.  I'm the proprietor of this Pitt, which means I'm all-powerful here!  I can just blow myself up anytime I feel like it!  Figured it was a great way to let you know I mean business about you paying me for the Psychic Parlor of Doom!  It's been a week since I let you know, and you've had plenty of time to worry about your finances in general with the "haunting" I put you through!  I'm here to inform you it's time to pay up or you're out of here!"

"Pay for what?" Trodemus scowled up at Stardust.  "You just knocked thousands of dollars off this place by removing the roof!  What kind of landlord are you?"

"Ooo  NO NO NO!"  The booming voice of Stardust was loud yet at the same time a deep whisper.  "I am NOT a landlord!  I prefer SOLE PROPRIETOR!  Such a beautiful title!"  He then cocked his huge head sideways and sucked in what seemed like all the air from the sky!  He then exhaled and caused a powerful wind that shook the entire psychic parlor!  Belinda and Trodemus ran for cover downstairs as the rest of their bedroom and the entire second floor flew apart!  Belinda screamed as Trodemus grabbed her by her plump arm and pulled her down the stairs.  The wind continued and the walls of the first floor began to shake.

"Bah!  The damned fool is destroying the Psychic Parlor!  Hurry Belinda!  We have to get out!"

Trodemus and his Cherished Chubby made it out the front door mere moments before what remained of the Psychic Parlor was blown off the ground it rested on and off into the air!  Trodemus and Belinda huddled together on the ground as the giant Stardust walked over to them...

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances

are (C) 2017 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

The Peeper #11 Comedy Newsletter--2016 Comic Convention Special  Now Available!
  

Purchase Mr. Peepers and the Peepspace Season 1!  
Collects all 24 pages of the Season 1 comic strip
First appearance of the comic strip version of Mr. Peepers!
$2.99 plus shipping!  For Mature Readers.

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