Peepers' Pitt--The Challengers

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 9 of 10:  “The Challengers”

Peepers chooses the EMT Man for the challenge!

Mr. Peepers materialized in his Peepers Pitt once more, after his visit to Hands of Time in the Shit Pitt and Stardust in the New Ink Pitt.  Now that he had set the Perfect Pitt Challenge in motion, he had to act fast to pick the best representative from his pitt to do battle with those from the other two pitts.  Peepers knew exactly who he wanted for the job though.  The EMT Man would be perfect!

Peepers laughed to himself as he floated across the desert where he’d placed Charlie Decaye and the EMT Man.  The EMT man was perfect for the Perfect Pitt Challenge because he was truly insane!  Peepers, in his godlike state, could not figure him out, so how would any opponents have a chance?  The EMT man was pure unpredictability and madness, which had been proven when he put Charlie Decaye in a chokehold!  Peepers arrived to the spot where the pool of water was, and saw that the water had turned yellow!  The EMT Man had gone in the water!  Peepers laughed as Decaye kneeled down nearby, spitting out water he had drunk from the now peed-in pool.

As always, Peepers was invisible to those he peeped on, however, he was unaware that what he was seeing was an illusion!  The shadowy figure had somehow recreated Decaye and the EMT Man and hidden the fact that they were not real!  Peepers finished laughing at Decaye and then simply floated over to the EMT Man as his glasses glowed.  A moment later, and they were both gone from the desert!

Meanwhile, in the Shit Pitt, the Hands of Time sat on his hill, smoking his giant wacky weed and surrounded by the women in swimsuits.  He put one hand in the air, and someone came walking up the hill to him.  It was a man, wearing an Arabian-style headpiece. Hands of Time took a puff of his giant wacky weed and then stared seriously at the man.

“Tell me your name” Hands of Time spoke in a serious tone.
“I am Hala--” the man began, but was cut off by the Hands of Time.
“I know your name!”  He then took another puff.  “What is your name?”
The man look puzzled.  “My name is Hala--”  He was cut short again.
“No, no, no don’t tell me!!”  Hands of Time went from serious to silly.  He then took another puff.  “I know who you are but I forgot because…I’M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW! Go ahead and tell me your name anyway!

The man shook his head out of disbelief at the Hands of Time’s behavior and then said.
“I am Halabaad, the T-Shirt Terrorist!  Death to American clothing!”
And what is your mission?  Hands of Time took another puff.
“It is my sacred duty to crush my opponents in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!  I shall defeat them so that we may have a great victory!  So says Halabaad!!  LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALA!!”

Hands of Time smiled.  “Aww man I love that war cry!  Peepers ain’t gonna know what hit him!”

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and Stardust appeared, wearing his glittered dress getup from the runway show.  He was accompanied by Just A Solider, who wore a military jacket and helmet, but had on a pink dress in place of pants!

“Hands of Tiiiime” Stardust began, “So good to see such a beautiful young man as yourself once again!  We are here to answer Peepers’ challenge--my beautiful young man, Just A Solider, and I!”


 NEXT: THREE-MAN BATTLE
 WEDNESDAY, November 6, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Cause of the Crunch

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 8 of 10:  “Cause of the Crunch”

and it's cause explained!

The familiar white cloth that had rescued Humphrey, Boris, Choo Choo, Birdy, Charlie and the EMT Man from exile had appeared once more!  This time though, it appeared in a quite unusual way--as a twisted wet cylinder emerging straight upwards from a…TOILET?!?

Jervas Clinkscales, Lucy--his number one ho, and Van Punker, along with the six individuals already mentioned stared in shock at the sight of the wet, white cloth as it floated upwards out a toilet that had appeared from nowhere, right in the middle of Clinkscales’ whorehouse!  Why was there a toilet, and what was about to happen?

Answers would come as the cloth completely cleared the toilet, and began to fan out.  It went from soaking wet to dry in about two seconds!  The cloth then formed a large rectangle and began to glow.  The voice of the shadowy figure was then heard.

“I promised you answers as to who Mr. Peepers was before he created this place, people he knew, and where he came from.  In learning who he was, you will begin to understand how he became godlike, and possibly discover how to defeat him."

“Not so long ago, there was another universe, called the Ink Pitt.  This was the universe Peepers originally came from.  It was populated by many unique individuals, not unlike yourselves.  One day however, a destructive device from outside the Ink Pitt would arrive, threatening to destroy that universe.  The destruction of the Ink Pitt became known as the CRUNCH, and the device was what you see here.”

The toilet was highlighted, and several people laughed.  How could a toilet be responsible for the death of a universe?

 NEXT: THE CHALLENGERS
 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Guests in the Whorehouse

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 7 of 10:  “Guests in the Whorehouse”

The Glowing Toilet!

 After absorbing the energies from the dying pocket universe known as the WHITESPACE, Mr. Peepers the peeping tom became godlike!  Mr. Peepers used his godlike power to toy with his enemies.  In doing so, Peepers realized that, despite his godlike status, he still lacked an important factor…experience!

So, in an effort to gain experience, Peepers decided to create his own universe to counter the already-existing New Ink Pitt and Shit Pitt.  Peepers created his PEEPERS’ PITT.  When efforts to create a perfect woman with his power failed, Mr. Peepers decided to populate his universe with unique individuals from other realities.  Initially, Peepers brought ten individuals to his Peepers Pitt without their consent.  Peepers would go on to separate the ten with his godlike power.  It was his plan to gain experience by observing the ten individuals.  Eventually, Peepers had to intervene to make things more interesting.

Now, for the first time since their arrival, 7 of the original ten are all in one place, thanks to the assistance of a shadowy figure and a mysterious white cloth that has charged them to prepare to battle Mr. Peepers in a “last battle” to win their freedom from Peepers’ Pitt.

Jervas Clinkscales ran up to meet the group that had just entered his whorehouse.  Dollar signs flashed in his eyes as he counted the possibilities of the money he could make if Lucy were to service all six individuals!  Clinkscales was shaken out of his greedy thoughts when he saw that two of them were not quite human-looking.  The census worker with a pumpkin head, Charlie Decaye, stood in front of the group, with the birdman, Birdy Nok Nok, directly behind.

“Jervas Clinkscales,” Decaye began with his gravelly voice, “Pleased to meet you.  I’m Charlie Decaye.”  Decaye put his hand forward, but Clinkscales refused to shake it.

“Heeey man, what kinda thing you got goin’ on yo head? Didn’t know it wuz Halloween already!”  Clinkscales tightly gripped his pimp cane in an effort to prevent himself from fainting at the horrible sight of Charlie Decaye!

“Oh…well this is not a mask.  It’s my face!”  Decaye stared emotionless at Clinkscales.  After a long silence Clinkscales spoke up again.
“Well whut can I help you fellaz with?  Maybe you is interested in some fine music by my in-house performah, Vaaan Punker?  Or maybe you is wantin’ ta have a guud time with my numbah one ho, Lucy?”

Choo Choo Andrews walked up in front of Decaye.
“Lissen here, man!  We don’t want to lissen to music or do anything with your whore!  We were sent here by someone who wants to stop Mr. Peepers and get us out of this place!”

Decaye spoke again.  “Yes, a shadowy figure rescued us from the exile Mr. Peepers had placed us in, and returned us to this town.  He told us that he would place information about Peepers here, so we would know who we were dealing with.  Hopefully it will prepare us for the “last battle.”

Jervas twisted his hands on the handle of his cane.
“You mean we can get the hell outta this here ghost town, and gets back to where me and Lucy came from?”

“Da!  It is good!  We shall all be able to return to our homes,” said Boris, who was turning a bit red as he saw Lucy behind Clinkscales, near the staircase leading up to bedrooms, where he’d been before!

“Well, count me in…can’t make no money roun’ this place.   How is we gonna find this information on Peepers though?

Suddenly, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard!  It was not coming from the bathroom of the whorehouse however!  It was immediately clear that the flushing was coming from a glowing toilet that appeared right before the eyes of Clinckscales, Lucy, Punker, and the six guests! As soon as the toilet finished flushing…a bright light shot up out of it, and the familiar white cloth appeared, twisiting upwards out of the water!

 NEXT: CAUSE OF THE CRUNCH
 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Challenge to Stardust

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 6 of 10:  “Challenge to Stardust”

Stardust is signing autographs!

After the acceptance of the Perfect Pitt Challenge by the Hands of Time, Mr. Peepers now had to confront Stardust of the New Ink Pitt, with the same challenge.  Peepers arrived, materializing from thin air.  Before him he saw the same fashion show runway he had viewed in his vision, where Stardust and the people of his New Ink Pitt had paraded around ridiculously.  Upon the runway stood Stardust, wearing a glittered dress with star designs on it.  The fashion show/performance had ended, and now Stardust was signing autographs for a line of people that stood below the catwalk.

“Yes thank you!  I know I am brilliant!”  Stardust was speaking to a fat, balding man who was wearing a ladies’ bra.  “Yes I think it is fabulous that you are following in my footsteps!  Remember, as a beautiful young man, it is your right to wear delicate women’s’ wear!  Don’t ever be ashamed to BEAUTIFY YOURSELF!”  Stardust then took in a deep breath creepily as he licked his lips and started rubbing his nipple area!  Peepers looked on, thinking what a freak this Stardust was!

“Peepers see you, and he see you not lady!”  Peepers floated down from the air where he had appeared to confront the Starlet of Space.  The crowd didn’t seem to even notice as they were totally enthralled with Stardust alone.  Stardust noticed the Preeminent Peeper, however!

“Ahhh Mr. Peepers!  It is wonderful to see such an exceptionally beautiful young man here this close!  I myself am the most beautiful, but you are of a rare kind, that is for sure!  You could maybe use some lipstick and slip on some panties though hmmm.  To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Peepers frowned.  “Peepers not know what Star Man in dress talking about!  He not here to discuss lady things with you, unless it about seeing ladies naked hehe!  Peepers here to challenge you to Perfect Pitt Challenge!”

“Ooo I do so love a challenge!  Does it involve putting on a nice frilly skirt with and some heels?  That would be DELICIOUSLY perfect mmmm!!”  Stardust smiled and started touching his legs.

“NO!  It not about girly things!  It about you picking one of your people in New Ink Pitt to challenge person from Peepers’ Pitt and person from Shit Pitt in three-way battle!  Winner will be perfect and best pitt!  Winner also get to take two people from losing pitts to take back to his pitt!”

“This does sound exciting!  I do have quite a few beautiful young men here in my pitt that might be up for such a thing, yes! I accept your challenge, so long as I can watch my beautiful young man go at it with whoever you pick!  I will also require him to wear something feminine!”

“Peepers not care what Star Man do so long as he accept!”

“Well then, I do wholeheartedly accept!”  Stardust smiled and put forth his hand like a lady, in an effort to get Mr. Peepers to either hold it or kiss it.  Peepers refused to shake or kiss on it.  He then told Stardust that they would meet up in the Shit Pitt with Hands of Time on the next day.  It was there that they would have the battle.  Stardust agreed, and Peepers vanished

NEXT POSTING:  WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2013

Check out the all-new Episode #13 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at http://crevicecreations.blogspot.com

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Punker Pays Up

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 5 of 10:  “Punker Pays Up”

Van Punker pays up the
only way he knows how! 

Van Punker sighed.  The driving rhythm of his electric guitar was enough to soothe his soul, as well as the pain in his genitals!  He strummed his instrument wildly as he remembered the chaotic last 24 hours of his life.  After playing a concert in a park (set up by Mr. Peepers) he had taken some drugs and drank some alcohol, which led to him waking up in a prostitute named Lucy’s bed!  Being the rock star that he was, of course Van Punker had sex with her.  Life was good until her pimp, Jervas Clinkscales showed up, demanding money for time spent with Lucy!  Punker was unable to find his money, and ran out of the whorehouse, completely naked!  Punker was on the run, but made the choice to return when Clinkscales began to beat Lucy!  His return cost him a hit to the genitals from Clinkscales’ cane, and left him lying in the street!

Punker and Clinkscales had worked things out right after that, because before the pimp could “take it out of his ass,” the rock star offered to play in Clinkscales’ whorehouse!  Being the businessman that he is, Clinkscales agreed, getting Punker to play for a few days to pay for the cost of sex with Lucy.  Clinkscales was pleased with Punker, but he was not pleased with the fact that he had no customers for Lucy or the rock star!  That was about to change however, as a familiar group showed up at the door.  It was Humphrey the hobo, Birdy Nok Nok, Charlie Decaye, Boris the Russian, Choo Choo Andrews, and the EMT Man!


Check out the all-new Episode #12 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at http://crevicecreations.blogspot.com

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Winner's Choice

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 4 of 10:  “Winner‘s Choice”

Hands of Time is starting 
to get the concept of the
Perfect Pitt Challenge!

“Perfect Pitt Challenge?  What’s that?” Hands of Time asked Mr. Peepers, before taking another puff of his giant wacky weed.

Peepers smiled.  “Perfect Pitt Challenge is new idea from Peepers!  It where Peepers challenge you and Stardust to battle of Pitts!  Peepers take best man in his Peepers’ Pitt, and put against best man in Shit Pitt and New Ink Pitt in 3-man fight!”

Hands of Time stared blankly again, high as a kite.  The impact of the Perfect Pitt Challenge was slow to settle in, but after a few moments, it hit him.  He then jumped up from where he sat.  “Ohh I see.  You want to challenge my best man huh?  Well that’s good, but what do I get if I win?”

Peepers spoke.  “Winner of Perfect Pitt Challenge get to pick one person from the two losing Pitts to take back to his Pitt!”

“Sounds good.  Even though I ain’t even really seen who you got in your Pitt.  Don’t even know if you got ANYONE in your Pitt hehe!  Last time I saw you there, you was all alone, trying to make perfect women!  Already found me some women!”  Hands of Time waved his hands outward, pointing to the four women in swimsuits around him.  Peepers grew angry!

“Peepers not care about your ladies!  He can get as many ladies as he want!  When Peepers win Perfect Pitt Challenge, he take more than just ladies from you though!  Do you accept Peepers’ challenge?”

Hands of Time took yet another puff of the giant wacky weed and then shook Mr. Peepers’ hand in agreement.  Peepers then vanished, off to the New Ink Pitt to confront Stardust, the Star-Crossed Starlet!


Check out the all-new Episode #12 of Mr. Peeper's comic strip at http://crevicecreations.blogspot.com

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--The Challenge

Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 3 of 10:  “The Challenge”

Mr. Peepers confronts 
Hands of Time!

After seeing the Hands of Time and Stardust with absolute control over their universes, Mr. Peepers was upset!  He had been unable to get this type of control over his universe, the Peepers’ Pitt, and he desperately wanted it!  So he used his godlike power to leave his universe and confront the two in person!

Peepers arrived in the Shit Pitt first.  Run by the Hands of Time, the Shit Pitt had a history of being a bit chaotic.  Named after Shithead, the evil Demon of Defecation who would later take it over, the Shit Pitt wasn’t that nice of a place.  Mr. Peepers held his nose, even though it didn’t really smell bad.  He appeared on the hill where the Hands of Time still sat smoking his giant wacky weed with the hot women in swimsuits.

“Hands of Time!” Peepers spoke in his creepy shrill voice.  Hands of Time looked up, and waved the smoke of his wacky weed from his face.  He then squinted to see.

“Ohhh heyyy it’s Mr. Peepers!  Girls say hello to Mr. Peepers!”  Hands of Time then giggled as Peepers flinched from nervousness at the sound of four beautiful women saying hello to him.  Not even his godlike power could prevent him from feeling a bit nervous!

“Well…” Hands of Time began, but then said nothing for several minutes as he stared blankly into space.

“HANDS OF TIME!” Peepers yelled.

“OH hey!  It’s Mr. Peepers!  Girls say he--”
“NO! You say that already!  Peepers see you! He know what you’re doing!”

Hands of Time put his hands over his ears.  “Heyyy man not so loud!  I’m so high right now and I don’ wanna hear all that noise!”  He then took another puff of his giant wacky weed and his eyes got even more glassy.  “Heheh yeah…that’s better!  So why you here?”

Peepers frowned.  “Peepers here because he know you trying to outdo Peepers…with total control of Pitt!  It make Peepers mad!”

Hands of Time just took some more puffs of his wacky weed and stared.  Peepers’ glasses began to glow brightly.  “PAY ATTENTION TO PEEPERS!”  That shook Hands of Time up enough that he was listening again.

“Peepers know you think your Pitt better than the Peepers’ Pitt, but it not so!  Peepers want to challenge you and your buddy, Stardust to prove it!  He want to challenge you to PERFECT PITT CHALLENGE!”

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental