Shit Pitt--Piss N Boot

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 4 of 5: “Piss n Boot”

The Rosewood Cowboy stood in Spurrier and Snigger’s hotel room, with his pants unzipped and one of his boots off. The usual procedure of barking on all fours had not been enough to restore Snigger the horse to his old self since Spurrier had countered it. The Cowboy was now about to take his reform technique just a bit further…

“What the hell you doin’?” Spurrier, who was still naked, squatted down by Snigger as he continued to rub the horse’s stomach.

“Yew’ll see.” The Cowboy then set his boot upright on the floor in front of him. He then pulled out his penis and proceeded to urinate in the boot!!

“Hey…Hey…HEY!” Spurrier was getting upset. “You can’t do that in here! This is our bedroom!”

The Cowboy continued to urinate. He looked over at his horse. Snigger began to sniff the smell of the urine. The Cowboy then finished, and walked over to the side of the room opposite to Spurrier and Snigger.

“What are you doin’ man? Take that piss outta here! Damn it!” Spurrier leaned over to try and pick up the urine-filled boot. Before he could touch it though, he felt hot breath on his back. He turned to find Snigger standing right behind him, and looking angry.

“Hey honey…are you okay?” Snigger neighed angrily. Spurrier got up and backed away from the horse. “Snigger, whut is wrong with you? It’s me, your lovin’ husband!” Snigger neighed again, and this time it sounded louder and angrier. “C’mon honey…let’s get the cowboy out of here and you and I can finally get in the bed and do whut we came here to do!”

With that comment, Snigger neighed as loudly as he could and reared up on his hind legs! Smelling the Cowboy’s pissy boot had broken whatever hold Spurrier had over him, and now he was ready to trample Spurrier for what he’d done! Spurrier turned and ran naked out the door, as Snigger charged off after him, full of rage!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Stable of Staleness

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 3 of 5: “Stable of Staleness”

The Rosewood Cowboy pulled his pants up by his belt. He was about to use his four-legged reform technique to free Snigger the horse from the mental grip of Coach Spurrier!

“Now yew lissen here, Spurrier…I know yew got Snigger under some sorta mind control, but it ends now! Once I use my four-legged reform technique, Snigger will regain his senses and kick yew in the nuts!”

Spurrier grinned. He was still naked and a bit excited. “Shut up, Cowboy! There ain’t nothing ya can do…me and Snigger is in love!”

The Cowboy got down on all fours, and looked up directly into the eyes of his horse, Snigger. As Snigger locked eyes with him, the Cowboy remembered how his four-legged reform technique had changed the lives of so many! It’s power had even helped destroy Shithead! There was no doubt in his mind that it would restore his best friend now!

Spurrier began to laugh at the Cowboy’s actions, deeming them ridiculous and a bit odd. Not that he had any room to talk, in light of his marriage to a horse.

The Cowboy focused on his friend Snigger. As their eyes remained locked, it was as if they shared a telepathic rapport, and had shut out everything around them in order to restore their friendship. The Cowboy reached down into the deep symbolic stable of staleness where Snigger had been trapped. He reached down, and grabbed hold of his friend! The Cowboy began to bark, as is customary with the four-legged reform technique. Snigger’s visage changed immediately, as he began to regain his senses!

“What the hell?!?” Spurrier got nervous as he saw the difference in Snigger. He resolved to stop it, even if it meant finally revealing his “way” with four-legged creatures! He ran over to Snigger and began to rub his belly, “coaxing” the animal as he had before. Snigger was resistant at first, but he suddenly began to mellow out again and acted indifferent to the Cowboy, who was still barking and on all fours.

“See there, Cowboy! You ain’t gon take mah wife! Better go find ya a mare and marry her, because Snigger is MINE!”

The Cowboy gritted his teeth in anger. It was clear he was going to have to push the envelope if he was going to get Snigger back!

“Yew think so, hmm? Well yew ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Yew’re about ta find out just how powerful mah reform technique can be! The barkin’ on all fours is just a scratch on the surface!”

With that, the Cowboy pulled off one of his boots and unzipped his pants…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Snigger's Standing

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 2 of 5: “Snigger‘s Standing”
The Rosewood Cowboy lay on the floor of the hotel room, crushed by the weight of a naked Coach Spurrier! He had reached his pistol, but before he could take a shot at Spurrier, Snigger had neighed!

“Hell yeah! Snigger ain’t gonna let ya win this fight if he has anything ta say about it!”

The Cowboy looked over at his horse, who was now standing. It seemed that Snigger knew something was wrong! The sight of his two potential masters fighting had evidently stirred something in him!

“Shut up, Spurrier! He didn’t neigh fer yew…he neighed fer me! He’s probably gonna kick yew in the damn teeth finally fer horse-napping him!”

Spurrier laughed. “That’s whereya wrong, Boy! Snigger came with me, and even let me ride ‘em off of his own free will! How do ya explain tha--oof!”

Spurrier grabbed his unprotected crotch and fell to the floor beside the Cowboy. The Rosewood Cowboy had kneed him right in the nuts while he was gloating! The Cowboy lifted himself off the floor and stood over the crumpled coach.

“Snigger DID NOT go off with yew of his own free will! Ah know that yew got a way with animals…some form’a mind control or somethin’! Don’t know whut it is…but it all ends tonaight!”

Spurrier gasped in pain between words. “That ain’t true! Ah can prove it! Just let Snigger decide who he wants ta be with!”

The Cowboy looked down angrily at Coach Spurrier. “No. Yew got my poor horse confused. Ah’m a gonna have to use mah four-legged reform technique! Might even use it on yew while ah’m at it!”

Spurrier rose and sat naked in front of the cowboy. “All right! Think ya can beat me, huh? Think ya can just come between me and mah wife? Well…yore welcome ta try, Hotshot…but lemme warn ya…me and Snigger is BONDED! Ain’t nothin’ ya can do ta change that, reform technique or not!”

The Cowboy scoffed at the coach. “We’ll see about that!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Neigh of Snigger

Snigger Speaks!

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 1 of 5: “Neigh of Snigger”
The Rosewood Cowboy rushed into the hotel room before Spurrier could react, and punched the Cocky Coach right in the jaw! Spurrier fell backwards into a chair in a corner of the room. He grabbed his jaw in pain with one hand, while trying to cover his nakedness with the other. His plan to consummate his marriage to Snigger the horse wasn’t working out! Snigger hadn’t even had a chance to lick the salt block yet!

“Gonna give me mah damn horse back, Spurrier…NOW!” The Cowboy was in no mood to play around. He was fed up with Spurrier’s abuse of Snigger, and was ready to end the whole debacle!

“Why don’t ya shut up? I don tole you that you ain’t getting Snigger back! Me and him is married, and that makes him MINE!” Spurrier then jumped up out of the chair and ran at the cowboy! The naked old man moved quickly, surprising the Cowboy! He then attempted to land a punch of his own, but the Cowboy grabbed his arm. Spurrier struggled to get free, but could not break the Cowboy’s grip!

Suddenly, the Cowboy felt something hard against his leg. He looked down to see the standing pride of Spurrier still pointing perpendicular to his body! The Cowboy was disgusted and let go of Spurrier to get away!

“What the hell, man? Why is yore…thang…still doin’ that?!?”

Spurrier smiled. “Because I’m a virile ole coach! I got it, even at mah age, and seeing mah love over there keeps me full and burstin’ with energy!”

The Cowboy gritted his teeth. “Stop lookin’ at mah horse like that, damn it!!!”

While the Cowboy was distracted, Spurrier made a flying leap in his direction, sending them both down to the floor! Spurrier laid on top, naked and still excited, which pissed the Cowboy off terribly!

“Whatcha gon do now, Cowboy?!? I know ya don’t like this here naked coach on top of ya, but there ain’t nothing ya can do about it!”

The Cowboy reached for his pistol on his side, removing it from his holster. “Spurrier, that’s where you’re wrong!” Before the Cowboy could get off a shot though, Snigger let out a long neigh that caused both men to cease their confrontation!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Old Salt Block

Spurrier is proud of the old salt block!

Shit Pitt--Honeymoon Haul pt. 5 of 5: “Old Salt Block”
Coach Spurrier jumped out of the bathroom, naked as a newborn! The Cocky Coach stood there in his birthday suit, before his new “bride,” Snigger the horse!

“Hea ah am, baby--ready to showya just how much ah love ya!”

Spurrier looked down at Snigger, who was still laying on the floor near the table in their hotel room. The horse didn’t seem to be interested, but his true intentions had been unclear since Spurrier took him out of the stable on a country ride that ended in their marriage!

“Ah know you is impressed, Snigger! Yore askin’ yoreself how someone like me can look so good,” Spurrier pointed down at his crotch, which was way more active than it should have been with no women in the room! “and how ah can have THAT right there!”

“Well let me tell ya a secret, honey. Ole Spurrier ain’t no spring chicken! No sir he ain’t! Ah know it’s hard to tell since ah look so much younger than mah age, but ah been around for awhile!”

Snigger snorted and looked at the ground.

“Ah know! It’s amazin’! Ta be as old as ah am and still look this good! But, Snigger, ah just want ya to know that this all for you! Ya get this body all to yoreself…every night…until death do we part, hell yeah!”

“Now baby, ah hope yore ready to consummate our marriage! Ah got us some condoms but ah figured that ya might wanna lick the salt block with no separation first, before we get inta the heavy stuff!”

Spurrier walked over to Snigger, and prepared to do something that was surely illegal in at least 45 states! Before Spurrier could act, however, the door to the hotel was flung open, and in the doorway stood the Rosewood Cowboy!

“Don’t ya dare lay another hand or any other body part on mah horse! It’s the end of the line, Spurrier! You and me is gonna have it out right now, and when I’m done, you'll surely regret EVER touchin’ mah horse!”

Spurrier clenched his fists. “Oh yeah? Bring it on, Cowboy!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Naked, Dancing Cheerleaders

Even the Cowboy likes Naked, Dancing Cheerleaders!

Shit Pitt--Honeymoon Haul pt. 4 of 5: “Naked, Dancing Cheerleaders”
Connor Squaw and Markus Laddermore had the Rosewood Cowboy on the ropes! The star football players were beating him down in an attempt to stop his pursuit of their coach! Coach Spurrier had taken the Cowboy’s horse, Snigger, out on a country ride that resulted in marriage! With each blow that pummeled the Cowboy, his hope of saving Snigger began to fade.

Squaw and Laddermore were suddenly frozen in place as two naked women appeared from the nearby bushes! Music began to play, and the two women danced around provacatively! Even the Cowboy was stunned at the naughty display! It was the two cheerleaders they had been with earlier in the bushes. The football players quickly lost interest in the Cowboy, and ran to get some more action with the ladies! Both were blown off their feet by an awesome burst of energy that lit up the woods! Squaw and Laddermore lay fallen, as Betram Bunny, Optic Ink Eye and Johnny Pizzazz appeared from the bushes! Vinnie Love showed up as well, and put his arms around both the naked women, who seemed enamored with him!

The Cowboy struggled to his feet. “Nice energy burst! That you Pizzazz?”

“All me…the Mage of the Age, the Maestr--” Pizzazz was cut off.

“Save it! About time ya’ll showed up! Can’t believe ya’ll let Spurrier marry mah damn horse!”

Pizzazz spoke. “I told you, we couldn’t prove him guilty of kidnapping Snigger because the horse is going along with it!”

“He ain’t in his right mind. Spurrier is got some kinda control over ‘em! Gotta get ta ‘em before this gets any worse! Ah appreciate the assist, but ah gotta go!”

***

Spurrier slid naked out of the shower of the hotel room. His face may have been streaked red and leathery like a worn football, but his body was white and untouched by the elements. What it was touched with however, was old age. He was wrinkly everywhere and the Cocky Coach looked to be in his sixties! Yet…the man was as well-endowed as the horse he had married! Spurrier looked down at his full-on passion and smiled! He then whipped out a pack of condoms and prepared to meet his love outside the door!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Temple Recommend

Is Rufus Ready for his Endowment?!?"

New Ink Pitt--Lenny the Mormon pt. 5 of 5: “Temple Recommend”
Rachel’s minivan pulled up to the Mormon temple. In the passenger side sat Rufus, who was wearing a white suit! White clothing was a requirement for anyone wanting to enter the Mormon temple, and Rufus was no exception! He sat proudly in his seat, admiring his white suit.

“Mommee…”
“Yes, Rufus?”
“Wh-wh-what color dis?”
“Rufus, I’ve told you fifteen times…it’s white!”
“But, Mommee…it weally bwight! I can seee no color!”
“Rufus, it’s white…take Mommy’s word for it! Besides, you have more important things to worry about!”
Rufus stared blankly. “Wha?”

Rachel cleared her throat. “Rufus, you know why you’re here. Stop playing games with Mommy.”
“W-Where are we?” Rufus looked out the windows of the minivan like he was lost.
“Rufus, honey. We’re at the temple. Today you are going to prove your temple worthiness and get your endowment to become a Mormon priest!”

Rufus looked down at his shoes, which were also white. He had a huge frown on his face. “Momme, I-I DON’T WANNA GO!”
Rachel leaned over and hugged her retarded son, who was in tears. “Calm down, Rufus, you’re only going to be in there a few hours. Mommy will come back for you in a little while.”
“You PWOMISE?”

“I promise. Lenny and I are going for a little drive while you’re in endowment. We’ll be back when you’re done.”
Also in the minivan, in the backseat, was none other than Lenny the Leprechaun, who was being forced by Rachel to go with Rufus on his upcoming missionary trip that would come after endowment. Rufus looked back at Lenny with hate in his eyes.
“Mommee, where you go with Lenny?”
“We’re going for a drive honey.”
“NO! I THINK YOU GO OFF TO BE BAD, BAD, BAD!”
Rachel sighed. “Rufus, it’s none of your business. Now what did Mommy tell you about endowment?”
Rufus stared into space a few seconds before getting an answer. “You say go and listen to Elders and do everything they say.”
“Promise me you’ll do that!”
“I pwomise, Mommee!”

With that, Rachel helped Rufus get out of the minvan, making sure he had his “temple recommend” card that was signed by Brother Brad. Without it, he would not be allowed to enter the temple. Rufus then ran up to the temple entrance and disappeared through the doorway.

Lenny crawled from the back seat and sat beside Rachel on the passenger side. “Well, lass, where are we drivin’, and are we going to be BAD, BAD, BAD?”
Rachel smiled, and put the minivan in drive. “You’ll see!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.