Peepers' Pitt--Trodemus & Pizzazz...in Peepers' Pitt

Peepers’ Pitt--Stranded with Strangers pt. 1 of 12:  “Trodemus & Pizzazz…in Peepers‘ Pitt”

Trodemus, Prophet of Doom and Johnny Pizzazz appeared from a flash of white light in Peepers’ Pitt.  The pair were quite confused about their situation since they had no knowledge of the contest that had placed them there.

“Bah!  Where is the Prophet of Doom and what are YOU doing here?!?”

Johnny Pizzazz turned around to see Trodemus standing directly behind him.  “Trodemus!  I-I don’t’ know.  A moment ago I was with the Rosewood Cowboy and the others in the Shitt Pitt.  Something was wrong back at the Cowboy’s ranch!  The shitlings have escaped!”

“The Prophet of Doom knows nothing of the cowboy ranch or the shit placed there!  He only wants to know where he is now, and why he was so rudely removed from his daily visiting of Belinda’s vagina!”

Pizzazz glared at Doom.  “Trodemus, that…that is just too much information, and I don’t think it will help us here.  You do know what information will help us though?”

“What?” Doom glared back.  Pizzazz lifted his mic up over his head.

“If we realize that I’m the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic…JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!!!”

Doom rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “Trodemus does not wish to be a pessimist (since he’s usually so positive), but he doesn’t see that helping either!  Seriously, where are we and how the hell do we get out?!?

On that note, there was another flash of white light, and the floating head of Mr. Peepers appeared!

“Peepers see you, Trodemus of Doom and Johnny Pissass!”

“Should have known YOU were behind this!” Doom snorted.
Pizzazz cleared his throat.  “It’s Pizz--”  Peepers spoke over him.

“He has brought you here, to his Peepers’ Pitt, because he has work for his old enemy Trodemus and Johnny Pissass!”

“It’s Pizz--” Pizzazz tried again but was cut off.

“Peepers wants you to work in his Peepers’ Pitt to make it the most interesting and exciting of the 3 pitts!  He wants you to bring…entertainment!”

NEXT:  PLANS AND PAYMENT
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All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Peepers Chooses

Peepers’ Pitt--Peepers’ Choice pt. 2 of 2:  “Peepers Chooses” 

Mr. Peepers’ victory in the Perfect Pitt Challenge (a contest which put a representative of each of the 3 pitt universes into battle) allowed him to take one individual from each of the two losing pitt universes into his Peepers’ Pitt.  Stardust of the New Ink Pitt and the Hands of Time of the Shit Pitt would now have to give Peepers whoever he wanted.

Peepers still appeared as a floating, disembodied head.  He hovered up and down in excitement at all the potential prospects he could bring into his Peepers’ Pitt.  There really were some interesting individuals in the other two pitts, and he hoped that introducing two of them into his own pitt would shake things up!

“Let’s see.  Who do Peepers want for his Peepers’ Pitt?  Hmm.  Peepers start with your pitt, Stardust!”

Stardust, the star-crossed cross dresser, still stood near his representative, Just A Solider, for fear Peepers would project another image of a sexy female (who, in Stardust’s mind, might try to make the solider more beautiful than he already was in his pink dress).

“Please don’t take my beautiful young man away, Mr. Peepers!  Just A Solider is still my pet project mmmmm!”

Peepers shook his floating head in disgust.  “Peepers not want solider who wear lady clothes!  Peepers want someone who is great!  He want the one person in your pitt who Peepers count as his greatest enemy!  Peepers want…TRODEMUS, PROPHET OF DOOM!”

Stardust sighed.  “That’s fine with me!  He never did thank me for giving him the Psychic Parlor of Doom upon his arrival in the New Ink Pitt!  I am better off without him!”  He then waved his hand, and Trodemus appeared!  The Prophet of Doom was quite startled, as he was naked except for his cloak, which only covered his head and the top of his chest!

Peepers turned away at the sight and yelled to Stardust to send him on to the Peepers’ Pitt, and to make sure he had pants when he got there!  Stardust laughed, and Trodemus disappeared.

Peepers then floated over to Hands of Time, who was still smoking his wacky weed.

“You know who Peepers want from you!”
Hands of Time’s face was blank.  “Who?”
“You know who!”  Peepers’ voice grew louder.
“I dunno.” Hands of Time stated.
“Stop it! Peepers not get in stupid argument with you while you high!  Peepers go ahead and tell you!  Peepers want the greatest entertainer possibly ever seen in all pitts (except for Peepers)!  Peepers want the Catalyst of Character, the Mage of the Age, the Maestro of Magic!  He want JOHNNY PIZZAZZ!”

Hands of Time blew some smoke and Pizzazz appeared before being sent on to the Peepers Pitt.  Peepers smiled and disappeared, taking the EMT Man along with him.  Hands of Time, Stardust, Just A Solider, and Halabaad looked at each other for a moment before also disappearing!  In their place appeared the white cloth and the dark figure against it!  The white cloth moved and began to wrap itself around the figure until he was totally covered.  Only his mouth was visible.  A smile formed across his lips.


NEXT:  TRODEMUS & PIZZAZZ...IN PEEPERS' PITT!
WEDNESDAY, January 22, 2014!  
THE PITT REPORT NOW UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Recognizing Defeat

Peepers’ Pitt--Peepers’ Choice pt. 1 of 2:  “Recognizing Defeat” 

The EMT Man was victorious!  He had bested Just A Solider from the New Ink Pitt and Halabaad from the Shit Pitt to win the Perfect Pitt Challenge for Mr. Peepers and his Peepers’ Pitt!  The insane EMT Man didn’t seem to care though.  In fact, he didn’t even seem to realize he’d been in fight!  He just stood over the unconscious bodies of his opponents, drooling as his eyes darted aimlessly around.

The Hands of Time and Stardust came walking down the hill, followed by the floating head of Mr. Peepers.  Hands of Time and Stardust had lost, so now they would have to give over two members of their respective universes to Mr. Peepers.  Hands of Time pulled out a small wacky weed and smoked it as Halabaad regained consciousness.  Stardust ran to Just A Solider, but instead of helping him up, he took out a tube of lipstick and began to “make him beautiful” by giving him red lips!  Peepers realized the two were not taking their defeat seriously, and decided to remind them of the fact!  He buzzed around Hands of Time with his floating head, and produced flashes of light from his glasses to wake him from his wacky weed.  Once Hands of Time was alert again, Peepers projected an image of a naked lady from his glasses, right in front of Stardust!  Stardust jumped to his feet and yelled angrily at the image.

“Get out of here, Skank!  You can’t make my man here as beautiful as I can!  Shoo!”
Peepers removed the image, and Stardust turned around, realizing it was Mr. Peepers who was responsible.

“Now that Peepers have your attention, and you have recongnized your defeat, he want to remind you of your obligation to the winner--the winner being-- PEEPERS!”  Peepers’ head flew around in excitement.

“Peepers has won Perfect Pitt Challenge, and now he will select one individual from each of your universes to take to his Peepers’ Pitt!”

NEXT:  PEEPERS CHOOSES
WEDNESDAY, January 15, 2014!  
THE PITT REPORT NOW UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2014 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Who is Peepers?

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 3 of 3:  “Who is Peepers?”

Who is Mr. Peepers?

Those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales waited in anticipation for the voice of the shadowy figure to reveal exactly just who Mr. Peepers is.  They had learned of his godlike power, but now they were about to find out what Mr. Peepers is at the core of his being!

“Who is Mr. Peepers?” asked the voice of the shadowy figure, which seemed to come from the glowing white cloth that floated next to the toilet of destruction.

“You’re supposed to tell us!” came the gravely voice of the pumpkin-headed horror known as Charlie Decaye.  There was no reply for a few moments.  Humphrey the Hobo passed gas loudly, and tried to blame the bird man, Birdy Nok, who then blamed railroad man, Choo Choo Andrews.  Boris the Russian looked embarrassed, but mostly because he was remembering the wild time he’d had with Lucy, Jervas’ “Number One Ho.”  She stood behind him while Jervas watched to see if Boris did something with Lucy he could make money off of.  The EMT man squated in the corner, and Van Punker was sitting down with his guitar.

“Enough!” came the voice of the shadowy figure.  “It is not for you to tell me what to do!  However, I will answer the question posed.  Mr. Peepers, in his normal state, in his normal universe, is quite simply, a peeping tom!  He has said himself that he goes ‘from window to window, seeing what he can see.’  He is a pathetic creature who obviously cannot make it with any female, so he must get cheap thrills by watching random women undress!”

“You can use this knowledge to defeat Peepers in the Last Battle!  He has tried to create his own perfect woman, but has been unable to, despite having godlike powers.  You could offer him a woman, but I know there is only one among you, and Peepers deemed her to have a dirty hoo ha.”

Clinkscales got upset with that remark about Lucy, and threatened to attack the white cloth.  Charlie and Choo Choo held him back.

“So what can we do if we have no woman to tempt him with?” asked Choo Choo Andrews.

“That is for you to figure out.  I would suggest getting many porno magazines to distract him with!  Now, I must go, as I still have Peepers distracted using my own means.  My distraction will only last a short while longer.  In 3 days, your time will be up, and Peepers will be able to see what you’re doing again!  Farewell, and good luck!”

With that, the glowing cloth and toilet disappeared.

NEXT:  RECOGNIZING DEFEAT
WEDNESDAY, January 8, 2014 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--From the Crunch to the Whitespace

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 2 of 3:  “From the Crunch to the Whitespace”

Mr. Peepers, upon his return, 
cloaked in the power 
of the Whitespace!

“So what is the CRUNCH, you ask?”  The voice of the shadowy figure continued to speak to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.

“The Crunch was indeed the destruction of the Ink Pitt, and it was caused by this toilet of destruction, but how it played out is what’s most important.  After Rufus the retard activated the toilet, individuals in the Ink Pitt started to simply disappear!  All was not lost, however.  Thanks to a visitor from an alternate reality, those who disappeared were spared by being shunted to a pocket universe known as the Whitespace!  Mr. Peepers would eventually end up there with all the other refugees from the Ink Pitt.”

Images of people from the Ink Pitt disappearing are visible on the glowing cloth floating next to the toilet.  The phenomenon of the Crunch is now clear to the individuals of the Peepers’ Pitt.

“Eventually, those in the Ink Pitt would find their way to a new universe known as the Shit Pitt, and the Whitespace would end.  Mr. Peepers was the exception.  When the Whitespace ended, folding in on itself, Peepers was trapped inside.  He was thought to be dead until he showed up again, wielding godlike powers!  Somehow, Mr. Peepers had absorbed the energies of the Whitespace, and had become near omnipotent!  After toying with old adversaries, he would become bored and go on to create this new “Whitespace,” that he dubbed his Peepers’ Pitt.  It was then that he would bring you all here for his personal amusement.”

The voice of the shadowy figure paused while more images of the “death” and return of Mr. Peepers played out before them on the glowing cloth.

“Now, armed with this information, you know what Mr. Peepers has become and where he gets his power.  In order to defeat him, you must also know who he was and still is beneath that power…”

NEXT:  WHO IS PEEPERS?
WEDNESDAY, December 4, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Rufus & his Sweetie

Peepers’ Pitt--Creating the Crunch pt. 1 of 3:  “Rufus & his Sweetie”

What does Rufus the Retard
 have to do with the Crunch?

“I see you doubt the power of this toilet!”  The shadowy figure that had rescued Humphrey and the others from exile spoke, but was nowhere to be seen.  However, a toilet and the glowing white cloth were visible to those gathered in the whorehouse of Jervas Clinkscales.  The voice of the shadowy figure said the toilet was a device of destruction that caused an event called the Crunch.  This Crunch ended the universe known as the Ink Pitt.

  “This may look like what is referred to as a toilet and it is, but it is not just any toilet!  It is a toilet designed by a race of aliens who had interactions with a godlike being known as Tolyactemus.”  The glowing white cloth began to show images of the aliens and Tolyactemus on it.

  “Tolyactemus used that race of aliens and their slaves, the Inkeyes, to search out rare minerals in many universes.  The aliens would then extract the minerals to feed Tolyactemus’ hunger!  Tolyactemus and the aliens invaded the Ink Pitt, but were destroyed, leaving only one Inkeye and this toilet!  The toilet fell from their ship, and ended up being used accidentally by a most confused individual.”

The voice of the shadowy figure continued.  “This confused individual is known as Rufus the Retard.  Rufus, who is not the brightest person, found the device and mistook it for a regular toilet.  He also got confused about the normal use of a toilet, and kept it for weeks without using it, preferring to call it his sweetie and admiring it.  Eventually, Rufus did use the device, making ‘useful romance’ and activating it.  That is when the Crunch began.  Next, I shall tell you what happened during the Crunch, and how it involves Mr. Peepers…

NEXT:  From the Crunch to the Whitespace
WEDNESDAY, November 20, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Joshua Dyson & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Peepers' Pitt--Three-Man Battle

Peepers’ Pitt--Perfect Pitt Challenge pt. 10 of 10:  “Three-Man Battle”

Just A Solider, Halabaad, and the EMT Man square off in the Perfect Pitt Challenge!

Mr. Peepers appeared in the Shit Pitt…as a floating head!  He partially materialized in an effort to display his power and shock his opponents.  He slipped up behind the Hands of Time as he sat on his hill.  Once he got right behind his head, Peepers spoke.

“PEEPERS SEE YOU,” came the shrill voice of the Preeminent Peeper.  Hands of Time nearly dropped his wacky weed as he jumped up from where he sat!

“What the hell?!?” Hands of Time screeched shockingly.

“Peepers has returned!  He display his might before you, to show that Peepers has escaped the boundaries of the physical form!  You cannot beat Peepers, Hands of Time, or Stardust!  You cannot beat Peepers’ representative either…the EMT Man!”  Peepers’ glasses flashed and the EMT man appeared, drooling and bouncing up and down, shirtless and wearing worn jeans.

Hands of Time and Stardust looked on in amazement at the bizarre EMT man.  The amazement didn’t last too long however, as Hands of Time took another puff of his giant wacky weed.

“Well…that certainly is one strange character ya got Mr. Peepers, but can your…EMT Man defeat…HALABAAD, THE T-SHIRT TERRORIST?”

Halabaad began to chant “Death to American clothing!  Death to Cotton!  Death to thread!  Death to t-shirts as robes are more natural!”

Stardust walked up with the dress-wearing Just A Solider.  “Ooo that is a mighty fine looking young man you have there, Mr. Peepers, but he doesn’t have to fight my solider, as we have no issue with him!  However, we do take issue with Halabaad insulting America and its fashions!”

Just A Solider then pushed past Stardust and got right in Halabaad’s face.
“SIR…YES SIR…TOOK OUT THE ENEMY SIR…WIFE’S AT HOME SIR!  WHAT? MY WIFE DID WHAT?  STELLA…YOU SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!?  OOO SAY CAN YOU SEE…WAHHH!!”

Just A Solider began crying and dropped to his knees.  Hands of Time, Halabaad, and Peepers looked on with confusion.  Only Stardust smiled.

“That’s my good solider…not afraid to show your feelings…love for your wife, even though she cheated on you…and love for your country!”  Stardust then crouched beside Just A Solider and whispered into his ear. “Just A Solider…not only is Halabaad a terrorist…I believe he was the one your wife cheated with!  Teach him a lesson!”

Just A Solider looked up, and his tears were visible, but his eyes were full of hate!  He jumped to his feet and in the same motion, punched Halabaad in the stomach!  Halabaad leaned over, clutching his guts as Just A Solider stood over him.  Halabaad then let out a “LALALALALALALALA” and jumped up and began a fist-fight with Just A Solider!

Peepers’ head floated, and a smile came across his face.  The two would beat each other to death and then a victory for the EMT Man would be certain!  This didn’t last long however, as Just A Solider and Halabaad would fall onto the ground with their struggle and roll right over the EMT Man’s exposed toes!  The EMT Man then let out a loud “AWWOOOO” and put Just A Solider in a choke hold!  He would hold him there for a moment, slobbering all over his helmet as Halabaad got in a few cheap punches.  The EMT Man got bored with this however, and let Just A Solider go, only to put Halabaad in a chokehold next!  Just A Solider and Halabaad would eventually team up and began pounding on the EMT Man, sending him crouching to the ground!  When they thought they had him beat, and turned away to continue their fist fight, the EMT Man sprang up and ran into both of them, sending all 3 men rolling down the hill!

Peepers, Hands of Time, and Stardust would all make their way down the hill to see the outcome.  They arrived to find the EMT Man standing and drooling over the unconscious bodies of Just A Solider and Halabaad!

NEXT:  RUFUS (the Retard) AND HIS SWEETIE
WEDNESDAY, November 13, 2013 at 9 PM!

All characters, stories, photos, drawings, and performances
are (C) 2013 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real

persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental