Peepers' Pitt--Slide in the Sky

Choo Choo Andrews is in trouble!

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 19 of 20: “Slide in the Sky”

Choo Choo Andrews was flying!  No.  Not flying…FALLING!  The railroad man had been trapped on a flying railroad car with Birdy Nok Nok by Mr. Peepers.  After a great amount of effort, Birdy Nok Nok had finally escaped, crashing through the glass window of the railroad car and pulling Choo Choo with him out into the open sky!

Choo Choo looked around as he fell.  There was no sign of Birdy Nok Nok, whose wings would have been the only thing that could stop his descent!  All around him was blue sky, with nothing in sight to hold onto!  The railroad man felt fear grip him as he realized the finality of his situation.  Suddenly, he felt something soft.  He looked around to see that he had fallen into a huge white cloth that had filled the air below, catching him like a safety net!  The cloth broke his fall, and safely slowed his descent as it formed a slowly rising “slide” that eventually leveled out.  Choo Choo finally came to a stop and sat on a solid area of the cloth, which was still floating in midair.  The cloth then began to gather up around Choo Choo and envelope him.  Choo Choo and the cloth then disappeared!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--White Cloth on the Snowy Plain

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo!

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 18 of 20: “White Cloth on the Snowy Plain”

Boris the Russian solider rode the bicycle around in circles on the snowy plain where he and Humphrey, the Hunchback Hobo, had been placed by Mr. Peepers.  Peepers had grown tired of Humphrey’s refusal to interact with Boris, and placed a bicycle there for them to fight over!  After a tug-of-war, Boris won!

Humphrey gathered himself off the snowy ground and began to wobble in the direction of Boris.  The solider was so concerned with “exercising his legs” that he wasn’t trying to get anywhere with the bicycle.  He just rode around in circles, laughing as he went!  Humphrey vowed to get the bicycle back, and use it for something worthwhile…getting the hell out of there!

Humphrey would stop in his tracks however, as he looked off into the distance and saw something!  It appeared that the horizon was moving at first, but closer observation revealed that it actually was a giant stretch of white cloth that billowed through the air.  Humphrey gasped when he realized it was moving quickly towards them!  He tried to yell out and warn Boris, who was much closer, but it was too late!  The cloth enveloped him, and he was gone!  Humphrey turned to run away, but he too was caught up in the cloth, vanishing into thin air!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The Peeper Newsletter PDF

The 3rd issue of the Peeper Newsletter is now available in pdf form!  Issue #3 features  the Mr. Peepers' Halloween Costume Contest, Billy G. Hydrick's trip to the goat sale, and Trodemus, Prophet of Doom's take on Halloween!


Sample Cover from Issue #1

After purchasing, contact me at awerty25@gmail.com with the email address you would like the newsletter to be sent to

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom--Halloween Horror Story

Read the posts leading up to Trodemus' current predicament!

Haunted House of Doom Concept
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2011/10/new-ink-pitt-haunted-house-of-doom.html

Haunted House of Doom Players
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2011/10/new-ink-pitt-haunted-house-of-doom_08.html

Haunted House of Doom Video Tour
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2011/10/new-ink-pitt-haunted-house-of-doom_15.html

Haunted House of Doom Promo Videos
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2011/10/haunted-house-of-doom-video-blog-pt-2.html

Haunted House of Doom Finale
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2011/11/new-ink-pitt-haunted-house-of-doom.html

Haunted House of Doom Finale
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-ink-pitt-haunted-house-of-doom.html

Haunting of Doom--Troubled Thoughts
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-ink-pitt-troubled-thoughts.html

Haunting of Doom--Levitating Lewdness
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-ink-pitt-levitating-lewdness.html

Haunting of Doom--Curvaceous Compression
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-ink-pitt-haunting-of-doom-pt.html

Haunting of Doom--Bathroom Mirror
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-ink-pitt-bathroom-mirror.html

Haunting of Doom--Ghost Hunters
http://pittreport.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-ink-pitt-ghost-hunters.html

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--White Cloth Contact

Charlie Decaye, Pumpkin-
Headed Horror!

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 17 of 20: “White Cloth Contact”

Charlie Decaye looked up at the strange white cloth that billowed in the wind as it moved across the desert where he and the EMT man had been stranded by the godlike Mr. Peepers.  There had been nothing in the desert until they had found the pool of water that seemingly appeared from nowhere.  The water had caused much conflict between Decaye and the EMT man, so the sudden appearance of the white cloth could not bode well either.

The cloth moved quickly across the desert floor, and seemed to grow much larger as it came closer.  It also did something unnatural, in that it was spreading out and changing its shape in mid-air!  Decaye saw this, and quickly jumped to his feet in an attempt to escape the white cloth’s impact with them!  EMT man actually reacted to it as well, letting out and loud “AWOO” before jumping out of the pool of water and running away!  Their attempt at escape was useless, however, as the white cloth caught up with them and enveloped them!  A moment later, the cloth vanished, taking Decaye and EMT man with it!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--Push & Pull

Choo Choo Andrews

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 16 of 20: “Push & Pull”

Birdy Nok Nok was upset.  The bird man had thrown a fit of discontent inside the flying railroad car that he and Choo Choo Andrews were trapped on!  After flapping his wings and flying around aimlessly, he’d finally found a way of escape.  With every peck on the glass window, freedom grew closer!

Choo Choo Andrews had just gotten over the fact that he and Birdy were actually flying in lone railroad car through the sky!  That shock was followed by the fact that Birdy was hell-bent on cracking a window.  Choo Choo was unsure how high up they were, and his palms grew sweaty at the idea of less separation between himself and heights.  He lunged for Birdy once more, this time in an attempt to shoo him away rather than catch him.

Birdy Nok Nok swiveled his bird head the way birds do, at an almost 360 degree angle!  He evidently saw Choo Choo, and flapped his wings in response!  The wind created from Birdy’s powerful wings blew Choo Choo back and off his feet!  The railroad man found himself on the floor of the railroad car.  Before he could recover and get back to his feet, Birdy had cracked the window enough to get his head through!  Choo Choo jumped up quickly when he saw this, and was able to get hold of Birdy’s leg.  Birdy was a bit distracted now that his head was through, and he flapped his wings in a futile attempt to fly the rest of the way through the window!

Choo Choo held tightly to the bird man’s leg, and used the strength he’d gained from years working on the railroad to try and pull him back in.  Birdy flapped harder though, and began to tap at the glass with his one free leg!  He also pushed hard against the it.  Choo Choo pulled as Birdy pushed, and for a while, it seemed they had reached a stalemate.  Finally, Birdy ceased to push and relaxed.  Choo Choo relaxed his arms as well.  Suddenly, Birdy tensed again, and pressed so hard against the glass that something would finally give--the glass!

Birdy crashed his entire body through the glass window, pulling Choo Choo behind him, as they both flew out into the sky…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--The Gift

Lenny the Leprechaun

New Ink Pitt--Rachel’s Gift pt. 2 of 2:  “The Gift”

Rachel kissed Lenny the leprechaun passionately.  She was a good Mormon woman, but she had needs!  She needed Lenny as her lover, and to be around to be a father to their unborn child.  That was not the only reason she’d agreed to drive off to a private place and have more fun with him though…

Rachel pushed Lenny away for a moment.

“Lenny…”
“What lass? What is it?”

“I need you…as a lover and a father to our child.  I also brought you out here for another reason.”  

“What other reason do ye have, lass?”
“Lenny…I brought you here to give you a gift.  You’re going to be gone for a while when you accompany Rufus on his mission as a Mormon priest, so I wanted to give you something.”  Rachel smiled.
“Ah lass…ye are wonderful!  What is me gift?”

Rachel looked seductively at Lenny, and then removed her bra!
“THIS!”  She then removed her panties.  “I need you, Lenny, but I know you also need me!  Take me…I’m yours!”

Lenny smiled so big that he thought he’d become something other than a mostly angry leprechaun!  Surely he’d never be angry again!  The idea of Rachel about to give herself to him as gift made him happier than he’d ever been!  It also made him one horny little leprechaun and he could not contain himself anymore!  He then unleashed his passion on his lady love!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 15 of 20: “Bicycle Battle”

Boris the Russian and Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo held tightly to the bicycle.  It had appeared moments before on the snowy plain, courtesy of the godlike Mr. Peepers!  Peepers had grown tired of seeing Humphrey have little interaction with the athletic Boris, and had set the bicycle there to stir up some conflict!

“Ey man, leggo tha bike!” Humphrey yelled at Boris
“Nyet! I shall not!  I need it to exercise my legs!”
“Gimmie!”
“Nyet!”

Boris and Humphrey began a tug-of-war with the bicycle.  After a few moments, Humphrey grew tired, and with no Mr. Peepers around to aid him invisibly, it was clear that he was about to lose against the much stronger Russian!  Knowing this, Humphrey tried to kick at Boris!  It did no good however, as it caused him to fall backwards!  Humphrey held fast to his end of the bicycle, and pulled Boris onto the snowy ground with him!  Humphrey kicked and punched at Boris, but was unable to land any blows due to his misshapen hunchback body keeping him out of reach.  Humphrey finally gave up, and Boris wrested the bike from him!  He then stood it up, slid onto the seat, and began riding it around in the snow!  Humphrey got up and tried to chase after him…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--I'm a Mormon, but..

Rachel Smith

New Ink Pitt--Rachel’s Gift pt. 1 of 2:  “I’m a Mormon, but…”

“My name is Rachel Smith, and I’m a Mormon.”

Rachel recited her version of the Mormon commercials she’d seen on the Internet about her faith happily to Lenny the Leprechaun.  She had been talking about Mormonism and what the priesthood meant for nearly 30 minutes!  Lenny sat and pretended to be interested.  This was not at all what he’d had in mind when he’d asked Rachel if they were going to drive somewhere and be “bad, bad, bad,” as Rufus had put it.  Rachel was so happy that good Mormons had been using the Internet to get the word out about their faith!  She was also happy that her “special” son, Rufus, had taken the first step towards the Mormon priesthood by going to the temple and receiving his endowment.

Rachel had been driving around since they’d dropped Rufus off for endowment, but they had been headed nowhere in particular.  It seemed her mind was elsewhere, and the Lecherous Leprechaun would have to do his part to remind the mother of his unborn child that he wanted to deliver some serious loving to her somewhere private!

Lenny put his hand over Rachel’s hand that was not steering the minivan.  His stubby, hairy fingers then began to caress her hand gently.  He looked up at Rachel with a desire in his eyes, and when she saw that, she knew instantly what he wanted!

“Lenny…I’m a Mormon…”  Rachel stared down at him.  “…but I also have needs!”  Rachel then took Lenny’s hand in hers.  “I need you, Lenny!”

Lenny smiled.  “Well, lass, let us find a private place where I can take care of ye!”

Rachel began driving to a wooded area outside of town, and eventually found an abandoned road that they could turn off on.  She pulled the minivan over behind some trees that covered them from immediate view.  She stopped the car, took one more look at Lenny, and pulled her shirt off!  She then unzipped her pants and pulled them off as well!  Rachel sat there, a beautiful redheaded woman, in nothing but her purple bra and panties!  Lenny gasped at her beauty, and quickly removed all of his clothing, until Rachel could see once more that the leprechaun had become a “full grown man” for her!  Lenny leapt onto Rachel and took her in a passionate kiss…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 JoshJon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Water Rights

Charlie Decaye

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 14 of 20: “Water Rights”

Charlie Decaye struggled as the EMT man held him from behind in a chokehold!  The insane man had attacked Decaye before he could drink from the pool of water.  Decaye was amazed at the strength of the EMT man, and it took all he could to move his arm from around his neck!  Decaye then twisted the EMT man’s arm behind his back.  The EMT man turned and looked at Decaye in the face for the first time and began to scream!  It was as if he was suddenly conscious of the horrible pumpkin face that was Decaye’s head!  He then blanked out again, as his eyes crossed and his body tensed up.  He broke the grip of Decaye and shoved the pumpkin-headed horror away from himself!

The EMT man then turned and went over to the pool of water and squatted in it!  Decaye could not figure out the EMT man, and didn’t really want to.  However, it seemed that they were stuck together, like it or not!  Decaye went over to the edge of the water and got a drink, carefully watching to see if the EMT man would react.  There was no reaction whatsoever this time.  It appeared that he wanted to be the first one to interact with the pool and didn’t care if someone drank from it after.  Decaye soon stopped drinking from the water when he saw a yellow liquid in water near the EMT man.  The insane man had gone in the pool!  Now there was nothing to drink and nowhere to go.  Decaye felt that they should continue walking, but did not know if there would be any use in a desert that seemed to go on forever!

Decaye sat down with his feet in the pool and watched the EMT man as he tried to figure out what to do.  He felt the wind pick up, and when he looked over to the direction it was coming from, he saw something moving in the distance!  At first, it was too far away to tell what it was, but as it grew closer, it appeared to be a white stretch of cloth that billowed in the air…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Kamola's Action

What is Kamola doing?

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 13 of 20: “Kamola’s Action”

Mr. Peepers leaned back in satisfaction.  He floated invisible through the air of his Peepers’ Pitt, satisfied with the conflict he’d created among the individuals he’d brought there!  Everyone was finally doing something of interest, and Mr. Peepers felt that he would finally gain experience by watching them!  The Preeminent Peeper was enthralled as he used his godlike power to watch them all at once!

Suddenly, Peepers realized that even in his godlike state, he’d forgotten something, or more accurately, someone!  What was the large Asian woman, Kamola, doing?  He momentarily broke his connection with the others in order to focus all his energy on checking out Kamola.  He saw her hunched over in the straw hut he’d placed her in.

Peepers spoke to himself.  “What woman doing? Despite not having food, she still fat!  Peepers had hope she lose a few pounds!”

Peepers quickly noticed that Kamola was different though.  First of all, she was now completely naked!  She was finally doing something as well, as she leaned back from her hunched position to reveal her fingers deep in her most private space!  Peepers gasped at the sight of Kamola giving in to the lustful desire she’d been thinking about earlier!

“Peepers like! Yes Kamola! Yes! Touch yourself for Peepers! Hehe!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 JoJon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Punker's Choice

Jervas Clinkscales

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 12 of 20: “Punker‘s Choice”

Rock star, Van Punker, crouched naked behind a trash can in an alley.  He had left his clothes behind after being discovered with Jervas Clinkscales #1 ho, Lucy!  He had no money and no explanation how he’d ended up in bed with her.  Clinkscales had been in pursuit of him, yelling as he’d walked out of his place of business.  Now Van Punker heard a different sound, as Clinkscales turned his anger towards Lucy!

Punker walked to the edge of the alley and peered around the building.  Clinkscales was turned away from him, and held Lucy tightly by the arm as he repeatedly slapped her for being “a stupid ho!”  The pimp was upset Lucy had slept with Punker without getting payment up front.  Punker watched as Lucy began to bleed from her lips and nose from the abuse.  Punker gritted his teeth.  He wanted to help, but he also didn’t want to get in trouble for not paying.  He quickly lost his choice in the matter, as Lucy looked through bloodshot eyes in his direction and said “help me.”

“Who youse talkin’ to?” Clinkscales questioned. He then turned, and saw Punker’s flaming red Mohawk sticking out from the side of the building!  “There he is! Youse gon’ pay up now!”  Clinkscales let go of Lucy and tapped his cane along the pavement as he made his way in Punker’s direction.  Punker then jumped out from the alley, exposing his nakedness to the world…and Clinkscales!

“Hell no, man! Youse need ta put on some clothes!  They’d upstairs, but you ain’t getting ‘em back until youse pay up!”  Clinkscales walked right up to Punker and shoved both his hands into the handle of his cane, forcing it down right between them.  “So what’s it gon be, man?”

Punker lifted a fist to punch Clinkscales right in the face, but before he could connect, the pimp flipped his cane up right into Punker’s exposed crotch!  Punker grabbed his area, and fell to the ground in pain.

“Thought you might be difficult!  Now, I is gon’ have to take the pay outta ya ass!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Birdy Tap Tap

Birdy Nok Nok

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 11 of 20: “Birdy Tap Tap”

Choo Choo Andrews searched frantically.  The railroad man was looking for anything that could stop the railroad car he and Birdy Nok Nok were trapped on.  There was nothing to use however, as the car moved of its own volition, without a locomotive to pull it!  To make matters even worse, the railroad car was FLYING through the air!

Andrews gave up his search and looked out the window again, thinking that the flying railroad car was a figment of his imagination.  Outside, he saw nothing but sky and the white mist of clouds that occupied it.  There was no ground in sight, so they must have been very high up.  Andrews sighed and watched as they moved past the clouds in the air at a moderate pace.  The rate of movement was slower than the speed of the average train.

Choo Choo stared at the clouds and felt very tired.  He would have nodded off if not for the squawking of Birdy Nok Nok, which started up again!  The bird man was flapping his arms and the attached wings and flew from one side of the railroad car to the other, stopping to look through the windows and see outside.  He perched himself on a rail near the window and put his beak forward.  Choo Choo looked on in horror as he realized what Nok Nok was about to do.  The bird man then began to peck the window with his beak!


All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Winter Wheels

Humphrey sees a way of escape!

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 10 of 20: “Winter Wheels”

Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo was MISERABLE!  He had been placed out on a snowy plain along with a workaholic!  Boris, the Russian solider, could not find work of any kind so he began to work his own body with exercise!  Humphrey had had enough and was walking away.

The godlike Mr. Peepers watched the scene from nearby, floating in the air and invisible to the two men.  Boris continued to work out, and Humphrey was returning to his usual ways of being useless and wandering around in search of food and shelter.  Not that finding food and shelter on the snowy plain was useless--it just wasn’t what Peepers had wanted for the two.  The Preeminent Peeper wanted interaction between the two individuals, and he would stop at nothing to get it!  The time for conflict had arrived!  Mr. Peeper’s glasses glowed, and out of nowhere, a bicycle appeared!

Boris saw the bicycle first and was overjoyed at the possibility of having a piece of exercise equipment to work his legs with!  He yelled out excitedly in Russian, and then ran towards the bicycle, which was several yards away.  Boris’ yell caused Humphrey to turn around and see the bicycle also.  Humphrey’s eyes grew big at the sight as he thought of using the bicycle to escape the snowy plain more quickly than by foot!  He hobbled over towards the bicycle.  When it seemed like he’d never make it, and Boris would grab the bike first, Peepers used his power to push the hobo forward.  They both grabbed hold of the bike at the same time…


All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Control of Conflict

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 9 of 20: “Control of Conflict”


Charlie Decaye, the kind man with the mean, pumpkin-headed face, trudged onward through the faux desert.  Behind him, the mental patient known only as the EMT Man, due to the letters emblazoned on his forehead, followed.  The two had been placed in this “desert” by the now near-omnipotent Mr. Peepers, and were attempting to find their way out.

Decaye marveled at the fact that the EMT Man had taken no notice of him until he started to walk away.  It was almost as if the insane man was being guided by some unseen force.  This was closer to the truth than Decaye realized, as the EMT was in fact being guided by the invisible Mr. Peepers, who floated in the air nearby!  Peepers could not decipher the thoughts of the EMT Man, but he had found a way to project his own thoughts into him.  These thoughts came in the form of mental commands from Peepers that told the EMT Man what to do.  Peepers had led the EMT Man into the town where Decaye had first encountered him.

Peepers grew bored as he watched Decaye slowly walk through the “desert.”  Peepers wanted conflict, and decided to make some!  His glasses glowed, and a small pool of water appeared right in front of Decaye!  Decaye was very thirsty, though the desert was not all that hot.  He walked over to the pool and put a finger in it, and discovered that it was no mirage!  He then crouched down and cupped a handful of water.  Before he could drink, he heard an “Awoo!”  A moment later, the EMT Man was upon Decaye, placing a chokehold on him!  Peepers smiled.  This was more like it!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances

are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers' Pitt--Punker on the Run

Van Punker

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 8 of 20: “Punker on the Run ”


Previously in the Peepers’ Pitt 
Rock star Van Punker had just performed the concert of a lifetime…but for an audience that wasn’t even real!  Omnipotent Peepers had placed him in a park and given him a stage and an audience that existed only in his mind!  After the concert, Van Punker found some real drugs and alcohol Peepers had created out of thin air.  These were to test Punker and see if it was true rock stars crave drugs and alcohol.  A short time later, Omni Peepers had his answer, as Punker lay passed out from his consumption!  Peepers became bored with Punker, and decided to send him off to have some more fun!  When Punker ended up in the bed of Lucy, Number One Ho, it was rockin and rollin all night for the pair!  Rockin’ and Rollin’--until the next morning, when pimp, Jervas Clinkscales, demanded a penniless Punker pay up!

Van Punker ran naked out into the empty street.  His red mohawk whipped in the wind as he traveled quickly down the sidewalk.  Punker had exited Lucy’s room in such a hurry that he left his full-body spandex suit he had been wearing behind!  Lucy’s pimp, Jervas, wanted Punker to pay up for his night with Lucy, but the rock star had no money--not even in his spandex suit!  

Punker looked for a place to hide, and finally decided to cut into an alley.  His move happened just as Clinkscales came out the doorway of his building, so the pimp failed to see Punker’s escape.  The purple garbed pimp looked around the barren street with a sneer.

“Yoo can’t hide from me, Man!  I gon’ fine ya, and then you gon’ pay up fo that fine piece’a ass you had!”

Clinkscales tapped his cane on the pavement as he walked along the sidewalk.  Lucy, Clinkscales “Number One Ho,” came running out of the building after him.  She grasped Jervas’ coat sleeve gently, getting him to turn and face her.

“Don’ hurt him, Jervas! He was kinda cute, an’ he made it more than five minutes with me!”  Ain’t many clients can satisfy me like he did!”

SMACK!  Jervas slapped Lucy right across the face, nearly knocking her down!

“Stupid ho!  Yoo wuzn’t suppozed to do no favors for clients I didn’t sen’ you!  Whut I wan’ know is, how in de hell he got up in yo room without me knowin’!”

Lucy rubbed her face and looked up at Clinkscales with a frightened glance.
“I dunno how he got there! I just opened my eyes and he was in my bed!  We started kissin’…and then one thing led to another!”

“Yoo is a dumb ho for sure!  Wun kiss from a man and yoo gets all weak-kneed and fall in love…Hos aint supposed to kiss or fall in love!  They’s supposed to f*#@!!  And most of all…HOS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE MONEY!”

With that, an angry Clinkscales grabbed Lucy by the arm and pulled her close.  He then began repeatedly slapping her!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--Previously...

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew: “Previously...”

The CRUNCH was a universe-altering event that caused the destruction of the original Ink Pitt. Prior to the end, Mr. Peepers, along with his friends and enemies all escaped to a pocket universe known as the WHITESPACE. The Whitespace was a temporary place that could only be occupied for a short time. Eventually, the refugees of the Ink Pitt found their way into a new universe called the Sh*t Pitt. Mr. Peepers did not come through before the Whitespace ceased to exist, and was thought to be dead. Mr. Peepers did not die however, as he absorbed the energies of the Whitespace into himself, and became godlike! The infamous peeping tom gained omnipotent power and became the Preeminent Peeper! Upon his return, the newly-omnipotent Peepers toyed with his enemies such as Trodemus and the Hands of Time. He eventually became bored with this, and sought to gain the one thing he still lacked despite his great power--experience! In an effort to gain experience, Peepers created his own universe…his Peepers’ Pitt, and populated it with a group of strange individuals he could observe! Those individuals include:

 Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo
 Birdy Nok Nok, a bird man
Railroad man Choo Choo Andrews
Rock star Van Punker
Kamola, a fat Asian lady
A scientist known as the Mad Tinkerer and his robot creation
Charlie Decaye, a pumpkin-headed census worker from another world
Jervas Clinkscales, a pimp
Lucy, Jervas’ #1 ho
Boris, a Russian solider
The EMT Man, a mental patient with “EMT” stamped on his head

 Referred to as his “new crew,” these individuals were originally split up by Omnipotent Peepers, and sent to different parts of the Peepers Pitt. Recently, they all found their way to a single location in a city. Omnipotent Peepers acted fast to split them up once more, pairing up different individuals in new locations for his viewing pleasure…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--Levitating Locomotive

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 7 of 20: “Levitating Locomotive”

Choo Choo Andrews lunged forward with his arms outstretched. The railroad man had awakened to find himself on board a moving train--with Birdy Nok Nok in tow! The bird man was squawking and trying to fly inside the railroad car! Andrews was now attempting to catch him. His lunged proved unsuccessful, as Birdy leapt up and to the other side of the railroad car, near the doorway! Choo Choo gathered himself and prepared to make another attempt. Birdy just leapt out of his reach again and continued squawking! Andrews decided he needed to take another approach. Before he could do anything however, something caught his eye. He looked outside the window of the railroad car door, and saw something white and puffy! Choo Choo wiped his eyes and looked again. Was he really seeing…CLOUDS? He pressed up against the window and got a closer look. There was only one railroad car--the one they were in--and all around them were clouds! The railroad car was moving all by itself, as it FLEW THROUGH THE SKY!!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--Cold Calisthenics

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 6 of 20: “Cold Calisthenics ”

Unbelievable! That’s what it was! Humphrey the Hunchback Hobo could not believe what he was seeing! Boris the Russian solider, unaffected by the cold of the snowy plain, was now RUNNING IN PLACE!

The man was clearly insane! At least that is what Humphrey thought as Boris continued his exercise. Since he was unable to find any work on the empty, snowy plain, the disciplined solider decided to prevent muscle atrophy by working his body! Large flakes of snow pounded into Boris, and the bitter cold grew more evident with the increasing wind. Boris would not be swayed from his work however, as he continued running in place for a space of 30 minutes! Humphrey felt tired FOR him, and would have laid down and gone to sleep after watching the first ten minutes of Boris’ pacing. He could not lay down however, since the snow continued to fall and there was no shelter!

Boris immediately followed his running with some truly extreme pushups! He dropped to the ground hard, crushing the snow under the grip of his huge hands! He then pumped his body up and down, grunting and counting as he went.

“Comrade Humphrey, would you not try some of the work? It is good!”

“Man you is crazy! I’s hungry and it cold and I’s need shelter!” Humphrey then sighed and began walking off to find something…ANYTHING other than Boris on the snowy plain!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Peepers Pitt--Peculiar Pedestrian

Peepers’ Pitt--New Crew Askew pt. 5 of 20: “Peculiar Pedestrian”

Charlie Decaye felt sad. What if he never got home? Despite appearances, the Pumpkin-Headed Horror was anything but. He was a kind man who had duties to his job and his family. He was a kind man…but with a mean face. His horrifying looks are what had influenced Mr. Peepers to bring Decaye to his Peepers' Pitt in the first place. The plan had been to use Decaye to stir up fear in the others already there, but Mr. Peepers had misjudged Decaye‘s nature, as so many in the Peepers' Pitt were doing. It was something Decaye was unaccustomed to, since having a “pumpkin” head in his universe was evidently normal.

Decaye stood on the sand of the faux desert, and turned to look back at the EMT Man. The mental patient was bouncing up and down again, switching from crouching to standing. Each time he stood, he stretched out his arms, then pulled them back and yelled out with an “awooo.” Decaye couldn’t figure him out, and didn’t intend to. He started walking off, hoping to distance himself from the insane man. Decaye soon noticed that the EMT Man was following him! Every five steps that Decaye took, the EMT man took two! Decaye was amazed that the EMT Man was now suddenly taking notice of his actions, unlike before, when all attempts at conversation or a single glance had failed. Clearly, there was more to this EMT Man than anyone could suspect! So Decaye walked onward, with the EMT Man as a peculiar pedestrian, behind.

Mr. Peepers, invisible to Decaye and the EMT Man, floated nearby, and flashed a smile!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Ghost Hunters

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 5 of 5 : “Ghost Hunters”

Trodemus sat at the small table in his bedroom, staring at the lamplight as he thought about what to do next. The writing on the mirror was clearly the work of the supernatural. Trodemus was now certain that he wasn’t imagining things, since Belinda had seen it as well. The question was, what should he do about it? Would a séance be enough, or would the Prophet of Doom have to resort to more extreme measures to get to the bottom of his “haunting?”

As Trodemus pondered, Belinda lay naked on the bed. Her man had lost interest in her since he was obsessed over figuring things out. Belinda smirked and posed sexily on the bed, but Trodemus would not be deterred. She sighed, and switched on the flat screen TV, just in time to catch yet another marathon of the “science fiction” show, “Ghost Hunters.” Belinda pulled a bag of potato chips from under the bed and began to munch down on them. She watched as two guys stumbled around in the dark and pretended to see, hear, and record ghosts! Belinda turned up the volume really loud. She then stretched out on the bed, with her back turned to Trodemus. Doom looked up from all the noise of “Ghost Hunters,” which was mostly the two guys questioning the “ghosts.” Trodemus was about to tell Belinda to turn the TV down, but all he could see was her nice big butt! It was enough distraction to cause him to look up momentarily past Belinda to the TV screen. It was then that he realized what “Ghost Hunters” was about and quickly got an idea!

“Belinda! I know what we will do! This will put an end to the ghost and prevent my business from failing! We will start a reality show just like the “Ghost Hunters!” It will be called…TRODEMUS: SEEKER OF SPECTRES!"

All characters, stories, photos and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Bathroom Mirror

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 4 of 5 : “Bathroom Mirror”

Belinda bounced up and down in the darkened room. The curves of her vuluptous body were outlined by the shafts of moonlight entering the window. Trodemus couldn’t be happier as he lay beneath her. She truly was the perfect woman for him, as her movements somehow satisfied him not only sexually, but also prophetically!

Trodemus could see the future as he he held his big beautiful woman and moved to meet her gyrations. He could see the future and he knew that they would both come. As sure as he rose and Belinda set, it was pleasure they would both get, and that when it was done that would be all--at least for the night. Trodemus and Belinda did not reach their destination however, as suddenly, Belinda stopped her movements.

“What’s that?”

Trodemus frowned. He was so close to the destination, and it was a terrible thing for Belinda to stop their progress at this moment!

“What’s what?” Doom looked up at his lady love. Her estactic faced had shifted to one of concern.

“Don’t you hear that? It sounds like water running.” Belinda lifted herself off of Trodemus, and the Prophet of Doom lost all hope of reaching the destination--for the moment. Belinda walked naked over to the closed bathroom door, while pointing to the light in the crack between the floor and the door itself.

“Did you leave the water running?” Trodemus let Belinda know that he had not, and that the only place there should have been running water was elsewhere! Trodemus got up and walked over to stand by Belinda, who seemed afraid to open the door. Doom put his hand around the door handle and turned the knob…

He swung the door open to reveal hot water running into the tub, and lots of steam filling the air. Next to the tub was a mirror that was fogged over, with the exception of some shapes that appeared there. The shapes were words, and they read:

“YOUR BUSINESS WILL END.”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Betram Bunny's Announcement

Shit Pitt--Betram Bunny's Announcement

All characters, stories, and performances are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Curvaceous Compression

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 3 of 5 : “Curvaceous Compression”

“OH YES BELINDA! THAT FEELS SO GOOD!”

Trodemus, Prophet of Doom lay face down in his bed. His big beautiful woman, Belinda, sat on top of him, massaging his back. Trodemus had removed his cloak, with the exception of the cowl. Trodemus smiled from all the pleasure he was receiving!

“Mmm, Belinda! Give me more pressure!”

Belinda was completely naked! She straddled the Prophet of Doom with wonderful curves that were the envy of all other forms in the room! Her huge, rounded breasts cascaded from her body like drops of water down a mountainside. As she leaned over, they hung in “u” shapes before splashing into the back of Trodemus and expanding outward in sexiness from the force. Belinda now lay completely on top of Trodemus’ body, pressing him into the mattress with her weight!

“Yes Belinda! That’s it! Yesss!!”

Trodemus and Belinda lay there silently for a bit, savoring the moment. Doom was really into the “curvaceous compression” that his lady love was supplying and felt wonderful! This freaky action was something the couple did often, and in varying positions, but always with Belinda on top! It allowed Trodemus to think, and come up with solutions to his problems. His biggest problem was the ghost that had been haunting him. He’d seen it in their room minutes ago, but it quickly disappeared! Belinda pointed out a white towel on a nearby chair and suggested that perhaps Doom had been seeing things. Trodemus felt that such a thing was possible, but he knew what he saw! The ghost was there, and he was intent on finding it and making it explain itself!

“I know what I will do! Blacktoes and I will have another séance! We will force the ghost out of hiding!”

Belinda kissed Doom on the neck and then the cheek. “Ooo baby, I knew you’d come up with a plan! You are such a wonderful man, and I’m sure you’ll take care of that mean old ghost for good! Right now though, I want you to…”

What Belinda said at that point was a private matter, but their actions in the next moment gave away the gist of it. Trodemus turned around in the bed and Belinda climbed into position. As the two made passionate love on the bed, they did not notice a small shaft of light appear in the gap of the closed bathroom door and floor, or the sound of running water in the tub!

All characters, stories, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson
Photo by Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Levitating Lewdness

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 2 of 5: "Levitating Lewdness"

The Prophet of Doom rose up in bed to face the outline of the ghost before him, using his telekinetic power to lift himself up in the air! Trodemus was now levitating about six inches above his mattress, and was on level with the ghost. Below him, Belinda lay sleeping soundly.

“GHOST!” Trodemus yelled loudly, forgetting his lady love was still asleep. “Do you know who it is that you torment?” Trodemus stared at the floating white outline that was in the shape of a traditional white sheet ghost. When the ghost did not reply, Doom became angry, and decided to let it know exactly who it was dealing with.

“I have seen the future and know what is to come! As sure as the sun rises and sets, the Prophet knows and NEVER forgets! I am…TRODEMUS, PROPHET OF DOOM!” Still no reply came from the ghost.

“You would do well to leave this place, for I, Trodemus, am a being of immense power, in tune with the supernatural! I shall banish you by force with my otherwordly powers if necessary, and cause you much pain! Take heed, Spirit! It is no mere mortal you face in Trodemus, Prophet of Doom!”

Below Doom, Belinda stirred. She wiped her eyes and let out a huge yawn before looking up.

“Troddie, what ya doing up there?”
“Silence, Belinda! The Prophet of Doom is in conversation with a ghost! You will heed my demands, Spirit!”
“Whatever you say, Troddie. Hehe”
“What are you giggling at, woman!?”
“Troddie, you should probably look down. I see your supernatural…parts!”

Trodemus turned to look down to realize that his parts were indeed showing since Belinda was looking straight up his cloak! He fumbled with his hands to cover himself.

“No Troddie, don’t! I’m enjoying the view! Love it when you give the supernatural orders! Makes you a really big man mmmmm!!”

Trodemus smiled. “Not now, Belinda! Can’t you see I’m in conflict with this gh--” As Trodemus turned to face the ghost once more, he realized it was gone! He floated back down and lay beside Belinda, puzzled.

“Where’d it go?”
“Where’d what go?” Belinda asked.
“The ghost! It was just right there--glowing bright as day! Didn’t you see it?”
Belinda smirked. “I didn’t see anything, honey. I’ll take your word for it though. I know you’re in touch with the supernatural, however…” She then pointed at a white towel laid across a chair near the bed. “…maybe you just need to relax.”

All characters, stories, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson
Photo by Joshua Dyson and Kristen Whitehead

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Troubled Thoughts

New Ink Pitt--The Haunting of Doom pt. 1 of 5: "Troubled Thoughts"

Trodemus lay in bed, beside his lady love, Belinda, the bbw. A wild night of romance with Belinda had made him temporarily forget his troubles.

As Belinda lay sound asleep, Trodemus remained wide awake. His mind revisted the questions that he had yet to answer. The dream that predicted the end of his business had now taken shape in the physcial word, and despite his efforts, continued to haunt him. Death had appeared, and reaffirmed that the Prophet of Doom’s fortune-telling business would end. A ghost had also appeared at the Haunted House of Doom, though there had been no one playing one, and nothing under the sheet! Trodemus was not sure what was going on, but he still did not believe that his business could fall with all the profits he’d been making.

Trodemus then laughed at himself for being frightened of his financial future. He had earned too much money to let a bad dream and a few unexplained incidents worry him! Besides, he was Trodemus, the Prophet of Doom, an expert on “doom” and at facing down the supernatural! Whatever was going on, he felt confident that he would figure it out and defeat the cause! Trodemus was further inspired as he looked over at Belinda sleeping so peacefully.

Suddenly, some books fell off a nearby shelf! A white light then appeared, revealing the outline of what looked like the same ghost Doom had seen in the haunted house! Trodemus rose up in bed and readied himself to fight it!

All characters, stories, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson
Photo by Joshua Dyson and Kristen Whitehead

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

New Ink Pitt--Haunted House of Doom Aftermath

New Ink Pitt--Haunted House of Doom Aftermath

After the unexplained appearances of Death and what was seemingly a ghost in the Haunted House of Doom, Trodemus was irate! He was determined to find the source of these distractions, and punish whoever was behind them for interrupting his show!

Trodemus gathered his Haunted House of Doom players to question them. Wilbur Hydrick, She-Peepers, Potbellied Ninja, and the Dark Cat stood before him, just inside the entrance to the Haunted House of Doom. Rufus the Retard had already left, after telling Trodemus that he was afraid of the dark! Belinda walked in last, still dressed in a tight-fitting witch costume that showed off her cleavage! Trodemus smiled at his lady love and then began his interrogation.

An hour of interrogation proved useless, since all the players said they saw nothing. Only Trodemus had seen the ghost and Death. Trodemus suspected foul play, but he had no way to prove it. Finally, he paid Wilbur and She-Peepers and sent them on their way. He then took Belinda by the hand and beckoned to his servants, the Potbellied Ninja and Dark Cat, to follow them into the Haunted House of Doom. The four of them searched the entire Haunted House for any signs of an explanation to what Doom saw. They turned up nothing.

Later, Trodemus sat in his office back at his Psychic Parlor of Doom, troubled by what he‘d seen. Death seemed real, but there had to be some other explanation. The real Death wasn’t a liar, but this “Death” had said that Doom’s business would fail. Trodemus knew that such a statement could not be true, since his recent improvements of his fortune-telling business, along with the Haunted House of Doom venture had made him very wealthy! The “ghost” that appeared was also troubling. What did it mean? Why did it appear and what was its purpose in all this? Trodemus’ frustration faded however, as Belinda walked in. She wore one of Trodemus’ black robes, and was smiling at him. A moment later, she removed the robe to reveal her naked, vuluptous body! Trodemus quickly left his seat and his troubles behind to embrace his lady love, Belinda the bbw!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Jon Hason & Crevice Creations

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Back at the Farm

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger Aftermath: “Back at the Farm”

The Rosewood Cowboy returned to the place where Spurrier had his wedding reception party. He arrived, riding on the back of Snigger, who had now regained his senses. They had left Spurrier soaked in urine and defeated back at the hotel.

Johnny Pizzazz, Optic Ink Eye, Betram Bunny, and Vinnie Love (along with the two cheerleaders from earlier) greeted him. The group had put an end to the reception and sent all the attendees home, including Connor Squaw, Markus Laddermore, and Chris Smellypants. The Cowboy rode up to Pizzazz and looked him in the eye.

“It’s over. Spurrier won’t mess with Snigger no more. Ah made sure of it!" Snigger neighed in agreement with his master.

Pizzazz questioned him. “What did you do? You didn’t ki--”

“Naw! Didn’t do him in like he deserved, but we sure as hell stuck it to him! Snigger is getting a divorce, and gonna take that low down varmit fer all he’s worth!”

The Cowboy smiled without saying another word, as he and Snigger trotted off back towards their farm. Pizzazz and the others followed. Around thirty minutes later, they arrived at the farm. The Cowboy walked to his front porch and hitched Snigger to a rail there. He then fed him some oats and rubbed his back to let him know that all was right again. The Cowboy then went inside his house, only to find an unconscious Reverend Reynolds laid out on the living room floor!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Spurrier Snagged

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 5 of 5: “Spurrier Snagged”

Coach Spurrier was on the run. Snigger, his equine bride, had regained his senses and was free of whatever mind control the Coaxing Coach had held over him! Spurrier ran as hard as he could, but a quick glance behind revealed a galloping Snigger, who appeared mad as hell and nearly upon him!

A moment later and Spurrier was caught! Snigger used his teeth to latch onto Spurrier’s head of hair, which was the only thing to grab since the coach was still buck naked! Snigger pulled Spurrier back with savage force, stopping his pursuit instantly!

“YEOWWWW!!” Spurrier cried in pain at his hair being pulled, as the old coach hoped that none of it would get pulled out! He had only made it about five yards from the hotel, which was not a good sign for a football coach! Snigger stood with Spurrier’s hair in his mouth, and awaited his true master, the Rosewood Cowboy!

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Lemme go, damn it!” Spurrier squirmed, but not too much, as the pain was bringing him to tears. The Rosewood Cowboy then walked up, carrying his boot full of urine.

“It’sall over, Spurrier! Yew done lost! Smellin’ mah piss will make anybody, ‘specially mah horse, get their senses back! Yew is gonna pay for stealin’ Snigger from me, yew dirty varmit, yew!” The Cowboy pulled his pistol from its holster and pointed it at Spurrier. “Now, yew got any last words?”

Spurrier was now crying in fear. “Don’t shoot me, Cowboy! Ah’m sorry! I ain’t never gonna mess with Snigger again! He’s just such a fine horse that ah got jealous! Ah had ta have him!”

The Cowboy cocked his gun. “No more talk about Snigger! Make peace with yer maker!” Spurrier went on about how he was sorry and cried and pleaded with the Cowboy to spare him.

“Relax. Ah ain’t gonna kill yew! Got a better idea--yew know what it is, Snigger?” Snigger neighed in agreement. “Spurrier, yew done married mah horse, but yew ain’t gonna have him! Yew is married though, and that means Snigger is gon take yew fer all yer worth in the DIVORCE!! Still, that don’t mean ah ain’t gonna get me some early payback!” The Cowboy then tipped the boot in Spurrier’s direction, tossing his urine all over the coach!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Piss N Boot

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 4 of 5: “Piss n Boot”

The Rosewood Cowboy stood in Spurrier and Snigger’s hotel room, with his pants unzipped and one of his boots off. The usual procedure of barking on all fours had not been enough to restore Snigger the horse to his old self since Spurrier had countered it. The Cowboy was now about to take his reform technique just a bit further…

“What the hell you doin’?” Spurrier, who was still naked, squatted down by Snigger as he continued to rub the horse’s stomach.

“Yew’ll see.” The Cowboy then set his boot upright on the floor in front of him. He then pulled out his penis and proceeded to urinate in the boot!!

“Hey…Hey…HEY!” Spurrier was getting upset. “You can’t do that in here! This is our bedroom!”

The Cowboy continued to urinate. He looked over at his horse. Snigger began to sniff the smell of the urine. The Cowboy then finished, and walked over to the side of the room opposite to Spurrier and Snigger.

“What are you doin’ man? Take that piss outta here! Damn it!” Spurrier leaned over to try and pick up the urine-filled boot. Before he could touch it though, he felt hot breath on his back. He turned to find Snigger standing right behind him, and looking angry.

“Hey honey…are you okay?” Snigger neighed angrily. Spurrier got up and backed away from the horse. “Snigger, whut is wrong with you? It’s me, your lovin’ husband!” Snigger neighed again, and this time it sounded louder and angrier. “C’mon honey…let’s get the cowboy out of here and you and I can finally get in the bed and do whut we came here to do!”

With that comment, Snigger neighed as loudly as he could and reared up on his hind legs! Smelling the Cowboy’s pissy boot had broken whatever hold Spurrier had over him, and now he was ready to trample Spurrier for what he’d done! Spurrier turned and ran naked out the door, as Snigger charged off after him, full of rage!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Stable of Staleness

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 3 of 5: “Stable of Staleness”

The Rosewood Cowboy pulled his pants up by his belt. He was about to use his four-legged reform technique to free Snigger the horse from the mental grip of Coach Spurrier!

“Now yew lissen here, Spurrier…I know yew got Snigger under some sorta mind control, but it ends now! Once I use my four-legged reform technique, Snigger will regain his senses and kick yew in the nuts!”

Spurrier grinned. He was still naked and a bit excited. “Shut up, Cowboy! There ain’t nothing ya can do…me and Snigger is in love!”

The Cowboy got down on all fours, and looked up directly into the eyes of his horse, Snigger. As Snigger locked eyes with him, the Cowboy remembered how his four-legged reform technique had changed the lives of so many! It’s power had even helped destroy Shithead! There was no doubt in his mind that it would restore his best friend now!

Spurrier began to laugh at the Cowboy’s actions, deeming them ridiculous and a bit odd. Not that he had any room to talk, in light of his marriage to a horse.

The Cowboy focused on his friend Snigger. As their eyes remained locked, it was as if they shared a telepathic rapport, and had shut out everything around them in order to restore their friendship. The Cowboy reached down into the deep symbolic stable of staleness where Snigger had been trapped. He reached down, and grabbed hold of his friend! The Cowboy began to bark, as is customary with the four-legged reform technique. Snigger’s visage changed immediately, as he began to regain his senses!

“What the hell?!?” Spurrier got nervous as he saw the difference in Snigger. He resolved to stop it, even if it meant finally revealing his “way” with four-legged creatures! He ran over to Snigger and began to rub his belly, “coaxing” the animal as he had before. Snigger was resistant at first, but he suddenly began to mellow out again and acted indifferent to the Cowboy, who was still barking and on all fours.

“See there, Cowboy! You ain’t gon take mah wife! Better go find ya a mare and marry her, because Snigger is MINE!”

The Cowboy gritted his teeth in anger. It was clear he was going to have to push the envelope if he was going to get Snigger back!

“Yew think so, hmm? Well yew ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Yew’re about ta find out just how powerful mah reform technique can be! The barkin’ on all fours is just a scratch on the surface!”

With that, the Cowboy pulled off one of his boots and unzipped his pants…

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Snigger's Standing

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 2 of 5: “Snigger‘s Standing”
The Rosewood Cowboy lay on the floor of the hotel room, crushed by the weight of a naked Coach Spurrier! He had reached his pistol, but before he could take a shot at Spurrier, Snigger had neighed!

“Hell yeah! Snigger ain’t gonna let ya win this fight if he has anything ta say about it!”

The Cowboy looked over at his horse, who was now standing. It seemed that Snigger knew something was wrong! The sight of his two potential masters fighting had evidently stirred something in him!

“Shut up, Spurrier! He didn’t neigh fer yew…he neighed fer me! He’s probably gonna kick yew in the damn teeth finally fer horse-napping him!”

Spurrier laughed. “That’s whereya wrong, Boy! Snigger came with me, and even let me ride ‘em off of his own free will! How do ya explain tha--oof!”

Spurrier grabbed his unprotected crotch and fell to the floor beside the Cowboy. The Rosewood Cowboy had kneed him right in the nuts while he was gloating! The Cowboy lifted himself off the floor and stood over the crumpled coach.

“Snigger DID NOT go off with yew of his own free will! Ah know that yew got a way with animals…some form’a mind control or somethin’! Don’t know whut it is…but it all ends tonaight!”

Spurrier gasped in pain between words. “That ain’t true! Ah can prove it! Just let Snigger decide who he wants ta be with!”

The Cowboy looked down angrily at Coach Spurrier. “No. Yew got my poor horse confused. Ah’m a gonna have to use mah four-legged reform technique! Might even use it on yew while ah’m at it!”

Spurrier rose and sat naked in front of the cowboy. “All right! Think ya can beat me, huh? Think ya can just come between me and mah wife? Well…yore welcome ta try, Hotshot…but lemme warn ya…me and Snigger is BONDED! Ain’t nothin’ ya can do ta change that, reform technique or not!”

The Cowboy scoffed at the coach. “We’ll see about that!”

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Shit Pitt--Neigh of Snigger

Snigger Speaks!

Shit Pitt--Showdown for Snigger pt. 1 of 5: “Neigh of Snigger”
The Rosewood Cowboy rushed into the hotel room before Spurrier could react, and punched the Cocky Coach right in the jaw! Spurrier fell backwards into a chair in a corner of the room. He grabbed his jaw in pain with one hand, while trying to cover his nakedness with the other. His plan to consummate his marriage to Snigger the horse wasn’t working out! Snigger hadn’t even had a chance to lick the salt block yet!

“Gonna give me mah damn horse back, Spurrier…NOW!” The Cowboy was in no mood to play around. He was fed up with Spurrier’s abuse of Snigger, and was ready to end the whole debacle!

“Why don’t ya shut up? I don tole you that you ain’t getting Snigger back! Me and him is married, and that makes him MINE!” Spurrier then jumped up out of the chair and ran at the cowboy! The naked old man moved quickly, surprising the Cowboy! He then attempted to land a punch of his own, but the Cowboy grabbed his arm. Spurrier struggled to get free, but could not break the Cowboy’s grip!

Suddenly, the Cowboy felt something hard against his leg. He looked down to see the standing pride of Spurrier still pointing perpendicular to his body! The Cowboy was disgusted and let go of Spurrier to get away!

“What the hell, man? Why is yore…thang…still doin’ that?!?”

Spurrier smiled. “Because I’m a virile ole coach! I got it, even at mah age, and seeing mah love over there keeps me full and burstin’ with energy!”

The Cowboy gritted his teeth. “Stop lookin’ at mah horse like that, damn it!!!”

While the Cowboy was distracted, Spurrier made a flying leap in his direction, sending them both down to the floor! Spurrier laid on top, naked and still excited, which pissed the Cowboy off terribly!

“Whatcha gon do now, Cowboy?!? I know ya don’t like this here naked coach on top of ya, but there ain’t nothing ya can do about it!”

The Cowboy reached for his pistol on his side, removing it from his holster. “Spurrier, that’s where you’re wrong!” Before the Cowboy could get off a shot though, Snigger let out a long neigh that caused both men to cease their confrontation!

All characters, stories, photos, and performances
are (C) 2012 Joshua Dyson

All characters appearing in this work
are fictitious. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.